Five Years Later
driver. It was a fact I’d learned to find endearing about her while it drove me out of my mind. It wasn’t that she was reckless. My baby would never be reckless. She was on the other end of the spectrum, overly cautious, verging on grandma behavior. The only way she ever exceeded the speed limit would be for a medical emergency or rescuing an injured raccoon.
“I can drive,” I told her.
“Pfft.” She waved me off. “This is my car. Do you think I want you speeding in my precious?”
“It’s not speeding if you keep up with traffic, mama.”
Her smile was serene as she focused on the road. “Haven’t we had this conversation before?”
“A hundred times.”
“And?”
“And my baby still drives like a turtle.”
She giggled, and something in my chest went pop. Never in my first twenty-one years would I have believed I’d end up with a sweet, giggling, slow-driving accountant, but here I was, at twenty-six, fucking mad for this woman. There was a lot about me she probably never considered as someone she would want in her life, but I was lucky as hell she continued to look past all of it to love me like no one ever had.
“I’m keeping you safe,” she claimed.
“Appreciated. I’d like to get there before tomorrow, though.”
Her eyes slid to the side then right back to the road. “Why are you in such a rush? Hmmm? I thought I get you all day today.”
“You do. I just want to be there so I can get my hands on you.”
Her cheeks lit up like stoplights. Yeah, she liked that answer. It wasn’t a lie, since she was no nonsense while she drove and I wasn’t allowed to feel her up, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. I had tricks up my sleeve she wasn’t going to know about until it was time.
Leaning back in my seat, I accepted my slow ride and took in the scenery. We’d lived outside of Portland, Oregon for the last three years, and the lushness of the landscape still hadn’t gotten old. There were mountains, waterfalls, forests, fresh air, and blue skies. I’d never wanted to leave California, had never even considered it, but when Zadie had brought me home to meet her dad, I started considering. I saw my girl in her element and kind of thought it could be my element too. It didn’t hurt her dad was cool as hell and had welcomed me just as readily as Felicity and Max had.
When Reno was arrested on manslaughter and a slew of other drug-related charges a year after I left the business, my considerations turned into a decision. My brother was going to prison for a long, long time, so there wasn’t any reason for us to stay in California. Julien and Marco had practically pushed us out of the state.
Once Zadie graduated, we’d settled in a little rental house, and I got a job with a shipping company, thanks to my internship with Sparta. Every day was different. I never spent much time at a desk, since I managed operations at a large port. It was exactly what I’d envisioned doing, and every time I thought about how I’d played fast and loose with my future in my college days, I wanted to travel back in time and slap myself upside the head. But hindsight was twenty-twenty and all that, and I knew a hell of a lot more now.
I rubbed my forehead, but only out of habit. There were still days when my head would throb hard enough to send me to a dark room, but since leaving Reno’s business and moving out of state, those were few and far between. I hadn’t even realized the level of stress I’d been living under until I’d ridden myself of it.
Zadie pulled into the parking lot at the beginning of the trail we were hiking. This was one of our favorite places to explore, and most of the time, there weren’t too many other people around.
“Wow, it looks like other people had the same idea as us,” she remarked at the other cars in the parking lot.
“Maybe. But no one knows about our path.” I steered her attention away from the cars, grabbing my backpack out of the trunk.
Zadie had turned me outdoorsy. I regularly hiked with her or a couple guys from work. I biked, mostly on my own, occasionally with my baby or friends. I’d ridden a horse since we’d moved here, though I wasn’t too interested in repeating that. I’d even been foraging for morels more than once with Zadie’s dad, Keith. That was the kind of life I was leading. A far cry from the vicious kid I’d once been. I’d never known life could be like this, though. Peaceful but never, ever dull.
As we walked the narrow trail we’d discovered during our first year living here, my stomach clenched. My girl was in front of me, a place where I always put her when we couldn’t be side by side. It was mostly for protection, but the view of her peachy ass bouncing as she climbed over rocks and stumps did not hurt one bit.
God, I loved this woman. I questioned sometimes if people experienced different types of love. There was no way everyone had it as good as Zadie and me. If they did, there would be no more wars. Global warming would be under control. Politics wouldn’t get dirty. People wouldn’t have time for hating each other. They’d be too consumed with getting back home to love their partners.
Whatever the truth was, I knew without a doubt I was a lucky man.
“Zadie.”
She turned around, a questioning smile tilting her lips. “Yeah, baby?”
So fucking lucky.
“Do you love me?”
She pressed her hands to my chest. “Have I not been showing you enough?”
Exhaling, I closed my eyes and thanked the rain for giving me this girl. “You have, mama. Just jonesing for you to say it.”
She lifted on her toes, biting my chin, then kissing it. “I love you so, so much, Amir Vasquez. Like the moon loves the tides. Like the stars love midnight. Like Michael Meyers loves slashing horny teenagers.”
With a laugh, I took her in my arms and kissed her hard on the lips. “I wasn’t convinced until that last part. Michael Meyers really loves murdering horny teenagers.”
And Zadie, my sweet, pacifist girlfriend, it turned out, loved more than cult-classic nineties movies. She was a slasher film fan too, the cheesier, the better. The first Halloween was her ultimate favorite. We traded off on who picked movies when we Netflixed and chilled. Hers were always bloody in the most unrealistic way. My choices usually veered more toward crime dramas.
“Are you gonna ask if I love you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t need to. I already know.”
I touched my lips to her temple. “Yeah, you do.” She’d really know in a few minutes.
As we neared the clearing overlooking the falls no one but us ever seemed to find, voices rose above the rushing water.
Zadie’s nose crinkled. “Damn. It sounds like our luck has run out. Someone else found our spot.”
I squeezed her hand. “Let’s check. Maybe you’re hearing things.”
A surprised laugh burst out of her. “Are you saying you don’t hear anyone?”
I shrugged, needing her to stop questioning me and just trust me. “Come on, crazy girl.”
We rounded a copse of trees, and it became clear we weren’t alone at our secret spot. Zadie stopped in her tracks, taking in all the people staring back at us.
Eli, who had grown even more than when I’d met him at sixteen. He was playing ball in college in San Francisco. Zadie and I went to his games as often as we could. Now, he was grinning at his sister like the Cheshire cat.
Felicity and Max were beside him. Felicity was ready to burst. She’d been holding back this secret for almost a month, and it’d been killing her. Max, healthy and in remission after a long, scary battle with leukemia, held on to his excited wife so she wouldn’t lunge at us.
Elena and Lock had shown up too. Helen and Theo hadn’t been able to fly in since she’d just given birth a few weeks ago, but Elena had her on FaceTime so she could watch.
Julien and Marco pulled through for us. With Julien’s leg, I hadn’t been positive he could make the hike, but he’d flipped me off when I’d expressed my doubts. And here he was, not the same as he’d been before the accident, but alive and living.
Keith was on the other side of them with his partner, Sarah. They weren’t married but lived together. She was an Oregon hippie who shared his love of weed, foraging, and Zadie…and by extension, me.
This was my family. They didn’t all live nearby, but when push came to shove, they showed up. They got excited for us, loved us, supported us. I’d never had anything like this growing up, but I had it in spades now. I knew, without a single doubt, I was a better man for it, which meant I was a better man for Zadie.
She pressed her hands to her mouth. “What…what are you guys doing here?”
I took her hand, leading her to the rock overlooking the waterfalls we always sat on when we came here. Instead of sitting, I knelt in front of her. She gasped. My sweet, beautiful girl, who’d stuck by me for nearly five and a half years, actually gasped at me getting down on one knee. I should have done this years ago. My intention for forever had always been solid, but life had gotten in the way. First, Reno’s trial and Max’s illness. Then school, jobs, moving.
We talked about it. Knew we were on the same page with what we wanted for the future, but we were happy. Zadie had never once mentioned a rush to get engaged. It was me who was ready to make what we already had legal.
“Zadie.”
“Hi,” she choked out through a laugh. “Are you proposing?”
I couldn’t stop the laugh. “I’m trying to, mama. You’re kind of stealing my thunder.”
“Nooo.” She caressed my cheek. “Thunder is all yours, baby. I’ll be quiet. I’m just really excited.”
Damn, I was too. Excited to propose, to give her my ring, to marry her, to spend my life with the woman who continually blew me away on every level.
“Here we go.” I rubbed my thumb on her empty ring finger. “From the minute we met, I knew you were something I’d never experienced. You were the greatest kind of surprise. A nuclear blast of sweet in a world that had gone bitter. Ever since then, you have been the bright in both my light and dark…and there has been some dark. You’ve been there, loving me, giving me all of you willingly, selflessly, forgiving me, embracing me, never doubting me. Zadie, once, I asked you to love me despite my flaws, and you accepted. Today, in front of everyone we love, I have another question.”
She nodded. “Yes.”
I laughed again, but this time, it was through a thickly coated throat. There was no fucking way I was getting through this without crying. That was what this woman did to me.
“Let me ask before you answer.”
“Okay, but just so you know, it’s a sure thing.”
My head dipped, forehead to her arm. Her other arm came around me, lending me strength, giving me support, loving me like she always did. Goddamn was I lucky.
“Zadie.” I tipped my head back to meet her shining blue eyes. “I want you to know, you still hold my heart and soul, and they are yours to keep. You’ve taken such good care of them, you’re the rightful owner anyway. I don’t want to walk this earth without you ever. I want to take care of you, support you, love you, make babies with you, get old and dusty with you, and follow you into the dark. Before all that happens, I have to know, will you marry me?”
Reaching into my pocket, I took out the small black box I’d tucked there and flipped it open. Zadie barely looked at it. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she nodded again and again.
“Yes, yes. I will,” she whispered to me.
I slipped the ring onto her left hand and pressed my lips to it. Then I wrapped both arms around her middle, pulling her close. I rubbed my face against her stomach, wiping away the tears I couldn’t keep at bay. After all these years, she still smelled like berries and rain. The scent I’d take with me to my grave.
Climbing to my feet, I took her in my arms again, kissing her hard and deep. Our friends were cheering, clapping, celebrating, but they were lost in the background. For those minutes, it was only Zadie and me, our very own moment.
She finally looked at her ring and sighed. “Oh, Amir. This is perfect. I love it so much.”
It was antique, classic like her, with a sapphire stone set in platinum. I knew it was for her the second I saw it.
“You never even hinted at what you liked,” I said.
Her teeth dug into her bottom lip as she gazed at the ring. Yeah, she liked it.
“Obviously, I’ve thought about marrying you. But the details never mattered to me.” Her mouth turned up in a grin. “Thank you for giving me this. I would have said yes at home on our couch and I know you knew that, but you did this for me anyway—for us… I love you, Amir Vasquez. I really did an exceptional job choosing you.”
“Damn right you did.”
After that, we were passed around from friend to family to friend. Our own moment was over, but a new moment had started, celebrating with the people we loved.
I’d write to my brother to tell him the news, and I’d most likely send a wedding invitation to my parents. I already knew I wouldn’t hear back, but it didn’t matter. My good far outweighed my bad.
One day, when we had kids, they’d probably ask how Mommy and Daddy had met. I’d tell them the truth. Or my version of it.
Long ago, I captured the beautiful princess, holding her for ransom. She captured me back, revealing I didn’t have to be the villain. There was a prince underneath it all, if only I tried. For her, I tried like hell until I got it right. Together, we faced the dark and slayed each other’s dragons until there was nothing but clear skies.
Yeah, I thought they’d buy that.
Especially the happily ever after part. I was pretty sure they’d like that part the most. I knew I did.
