Dinner goes from bad to worse very quickly but I manage to keep myself out of the fray completely. It’s not an easy task, especially with North insisting on ordering all of my dishes for me as though I’m not capable of choosing anything for myself. It’s so insulting and demeaning that I really do have to talk myself out of stabbing the asshole in the throat with my fork.
The salmon en papillote is to die for and I hate him for choosing it for me because how the fuck does he know that I prefer fish and seafood over anything if given the option?
Two of the councilmen spend the entire dinner arguing with him in that polite ‘boys club’ way they all have. I keep my mouth shut, only speaking when addressed directly, and smile prettily at all of the servers because no one else here uses manners to them at all.
By the time we get back into the car, I want to die.
Not just because the entire evening has sucked the will to live right out of me, but also because I’m cramping like a motherfucker and there’s a good chance I’m bleeding all over this ridiculous gown right now. I ask North to stop the car at a drugstore on the way back and he completely ignores me, directing the car back to the dorms and leaving me there without a single kind word or, I dunno, saying fucking thank you for dealing with this night so well.
I really fucking hate him.
I strip out of the gown the minute I get back to my room and, sure enough, there’s blood fucking everywhere. I wrap a towel around myself and walk to the shared bathrooms, even though it’s peak hour and they’re all giggling and laughing at me for my state.
I don’t care about their opinions but, fuck, a friendly face would be nice right now. I do my best to ignore them, and all of the bullshit I’m going to have to deal with because of this, and instead crawl into my small, uncomfortable bed. The thin blanket scratches at my oversensitive skin, but I’m shivering and need whatever help I can get to regulate my body temperature.
The pain in my stomach is so bad that I can feel it radiating through to my fingers and toes, not a single inch of my body spared from the ache. I quickly check my phone to see if there’s any drug stores close by that I can make it to before my curfew with no luck. Every single one of them in this small college town would be at least a half hour round trip.
I don’t think North would consider this a good reason for breaking my curfew, especially since he wouldn’t even stop at the drug store for me. All I’d get from him would be a lecture about how I deserve to feel some discomfort after what I’d put them all through.
I try to rest but instead I slip in and out of sleep, the pain waking me up more often than not, and I don’t know how long that’s been going on when I’m startled by a knock at the door. I consider ignoring it because getting up is going to cost me. I lay there and try to figure out if I can even get up, and then I hear the door unlock.
Who the hell has a key to my door?
It swings open and Gryphon steps through. He is the last of my Bonds I expect to be here. He stands and looks over me critically, his eyes taking in every inch of my disheveled form. I’ve never been so aware of how much of a mess I must look. He’s standing there dressed in his ripped jeans and biker boots, with a leather jacket slung over his shoulders and his hair curling around to his chin. His jaw keeps flexing like he’s grinding his teeth and he looks as though he’s fuming.
‘I’m going to need you to be really honest right now, Oleander. The girls downstairs are saying this is a botched abortion. I checked your GPS tracker and I know that it can’t be unless you did it in a bathroom stall by yourself over lunchtime. So, what’s going on?’
Hot tears of rage fill my eyes and I think about risking the wrath of North by running away from this fucking place. ‘Does it even matter what I say to you? It’s not like you will believe me anyway.’
His eyes follow the silent tracks of tears down my cheeks and I wipe them away hastily. Damn him for seeing me at such a freaking low point!
‘Just tell me the truth.’
I roll my eyes even though it hurts me to do such a small movement. ‘Well, it’s not a fucking abortion and it’s not a miscarriage. I have my period and I’m in a lot of pain. It’s like this every time I get it but normally, I can get pain medication that will help. I don’t have a bank card to get it delivered, and all of the drug stores are too far away to get back in time for curfew. I’m here for the long haul tonight and tomorrow, I’ll just have to be late for classes to get the damn Midol.’
His eyes widen. I guess he wasn’t expecting that sort of honesty from me tonight. Either that, or he doesn’t believe me, which, to be honest, I’m in enough pain that I don’t care. I just want him to leave me the hell alone until I’m feeling up for this sort of interrogation.
He nods at me slowly and then he hits the lights, the whole room plunging into darkness. My breathing becomes a little unsteady which, again, hurts a whole fucking lot. ‘What the hell are you doing?’
He doesn’t answer me. He steps up closer to the bed and then I hear the rustling of his clothes. I swear to God I could laugh in his face. I just told him that I’m in complete agony and he wants to bond?
‘You need to leave. I can’t give you what you want right now.’
He scoffs at me and I feel his hands moving me on the bed so that I’m teetering on the edge, then he slides in behind me. My heart begins to race so hard I can hear it pulsing in my ears.
‘Gryphon, what the hell –’
‘Just shut up,’ he snaps.
He pulls me back into his chest so that I’m laying a little more on the bed, and then one of his hands splays out on my bare stomach underneath my thin nightshirt. His palm is warm but it becomes scalding hot as his power flows through his skin and into mine.
The pain stops.
I start to cry all over again.
I stay stiff in his arms, mostly to stop the sobs from taking over my entire body and letting him know exactly how freaking pathetic I am. It doesn’t bother him, he starts to move me, just little adjustments until I’m more secure in his arms and we’re both comfortably wrapped up together.
I wait until I think my voice will be steady and not drenched with my tears before I croak out, “Thank you.”
He hums under his breath dismissively. I feel like the world’s biggest fucking bitch and it’s because of that, or the warm drugging sensation of his power, that I add, “Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. This pain is nothing compared to that.”
His arms tighten around me until I think I can’t breathe, but it only makes me feel… safer.
I fall asleep easier and more deeply than I have in years.
I WAKE up alone in my bed.
My cramps are back but much more manageable, thank God. I feel bloated and cranky and ready to rip the faces off of any bitches that start on me today. I go and take a shower, thankful that the shared bathroom is blissfully empty.
I do have a little chuckle at the thought of North’s face if he found out I’d gotten into a fight with some of these girls. I can only imagine how terribly embarrassing that would be for the great Councilman himself. Then I remember his complete dismissal of me when he’d dropped me back here last night and the smile just falls straight off of my face. It doesn’t matter what they think. I’ll keep telling myself that until it sinks in.
I dry off and head back to my room to pull my clothes on for the day. I aim for comfortable and cute, needing what little armor I can have against these people, and I have my shirt halfway over my head when Gryphon unlocks my bedroom door and walks through. He doesn’t look up at me or notice my state of undress as he grabs the door to shut it and lock it behind him.
I manage to get the shirt over my bra before his eyes finally touch me. He doesn’t show any sign of being shocked, but he does take his time in dragging his eyes over my bare legs. I’m glad I chose cute underwear today because usually I stick with comfort while I’m on my period. The black bikini briefs are simple but sexy enough.
He glances at me. “I grabbed you the pills you need. I also grabbed a heat pack and some junk food. My sister lives on candy when she’s PMSing so I guessed you’d want that too,” he says, holding the plastic bag out to me.
I just stand there and blink at him for a second. “Why would you do that?”
He puts the bag down on my bed when it’s clear I’m not going to take it. I finally remember that I’m not wearing any pants and stumble over to my bag to grab my jeans, forgetting my plans for yoga pants now that Gryphon is here looking as hot as hell. I turn away from him to shove my legs in and try not to wince as I do them up. Why can’t they make cute jeans that don’t squeeze your uterus like a damn vise?
“I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to answer it honestly.”
I grimace and give him a side-eye. “And why would I answer it for you?”
He scoffs at me. “I helped you last night, didn’t I? It’s a simple question, nothing too revealing.”
My eyes narrow as I take him in. He did help me, he helped me more than he knows. It wasn’t just the pain I was feeling that he helped with, I was starting to feel like I couldn’t keep going here, but he changed that with a single act of kindness. I guess I do sort of owe him something.
I shrug. “I’ll answer what I can. I can’t promise you any more than that.”
I grab the Midol out of the bag and take it without any water, the pill dragging down my throat a little, then I sit on the bed to pull my shoes on. I don’t have long until my classes start and I need to eat something before or I’ll have to wait until lunch and that sounds like another form of torture. I really don’t want one of the Draven brothers up my ass today. I’ll be too likely to throat punch one of them and I need to hold onto my control.
It’s getting harder and harder to do.
“Did you want to run away from us, or were you forced?”
It’s an open question, open enough that I can answer it honestly without completely fucking my life up, so I sigh and give him a wry smile. “I’ll answer, but you won’t believe me anyway. I had no other choice. I can’t say any more without risking you and the other Bonds and, despite what you all think, everything I’ve done is to keep you safe.”
His eyes burn into my skin, hotter than his power had been on my stomach last night. “Tell me who is threatening you.”
I shake my head. “I can’t tell you. I can’t tell anyone.”
I watch as he grinds his teeth again, something he clearly does when I piss him off. We’ve barely spent any time together and yet I already know this about him. “What if I promise not to tell the other Bonds, would you tell me then? We could keep it between us and I’ll deal with the issue.”
I laugh at him as I stand and sling my bag over my shoulder. “Nox is your best friend, you sit through all of his bullshit at the stupid dinners. There’s no way you wouldn’t tell him. It doesn’t matter anyway; I can’t tell you.”
The glare on his face gets darker and when I step towards the door, he doesn’t move away. I’ll have to brush against his body to get past him but as I move to do so, his arms shoot out and grab me. My breath leaks out of my lungs.
Too close. He’s too close and I’m too close to breaking the fuck down.
He stares into my eyes for a second before pulling a credit card out of his pocket and slipping it into mine. “That’s yours. You’ll use it for anything you need from now on. Order in food, pills, a new fucking bed, I don’t care. Just use it.”
Holy shit.
My brow furrows at him and I struggle to find the right words. “Why would you do that? I don’t want to take anything from you. If you could just get North to let me find a job, I can take care of myself.”
The hand he still has wrapped around one of my arms tightens. “Tell me you will use it if you need it.”
I roll my eyes at him for ignoring me. “Fine.”
I pull my arm out of his grasp and take another step towards the door, but he clearly has no intention of letting me go. He grabs me again, spinning until he can pin me against it with his body. A gasp rips its way out of my throat and he leans down, his eyes still hot with that intense heat of his, and he whispers, “Say it and mean it. There’s nothing worse than a liar.”
I swallow and gasp out, “I’ll use it if I have to but I still want a job of my own.”
He lifts one of his hands to trace the side of my face. “North will never risk losing you again. I don’t think he will ever let you find a job, but if you ask him directly, I’ll side with you.”
I can’t breathe with him this close to me, with the hard lines of his chest pressed against me, and he doesn’t make a move away from me, just holds me there against the door. The buzzing of his phone in his pocket pressed between us breaks the spell, and he curses under his breath as he steps away.
“Grab your shit, I’ll drive you down to the dining hall.”
He steps out of the room without another word, hovering by the door until I get it locked. The hallway is full of girls, all of them staring at him like he’s a slab of meat, but he doesn’t acknowledge them. He walks slowly enough that I can keep the pace without running, not that I would today with how freaking bloated I am, and then I realize that he knows that and is adjusting for me.
I don’t know what to do with that sort of consideration.
I’m just as awkward getting into his car this time around as I was the first time. I shoot Gabe a text to tell him where I am and then I shove the phone back into my bag. Gryphon doesn’t say a word and the three minute car ride is silent.
When we pull up at the dining hall, I clear my throat. ‘I really appreciate-‘
‘Are you going to try running off again?’ he cuts me off, his eyes scanning the campus like he’s expecting me to be snatched off of the curb in broad daylight.
I frown and rub at the back of my neck, the little bump of the GPS chip still easy to find. It still kind of aches and I push at it to really feel the burn. ‘No.’
Gryphon’s eyes drop to my fidgeting and he says, ‘Would you run if we couldn’t track you?’
He can smell my lies so I go with the truth. ‘I would have to run. It’s better that way.’
He nods slowly. ‘You could tell me, you know. It might change a lot of things for you around here.”
I shrug. ‘We both know it won’t. Your bestie has already told me there’s no excuse good enough for him to accept. I’m trapped here, and because of that, bad shit is going to happen. I’m doing everything I can to stop it but… it’s probably going to happen anyway.’
His fingers drum on the steering wheel. ‘The problem is that I know that you believe that. I just also know that whatever it is, you should have come to us about it instead of running. You should have trusted us.’
I laugh at him, dark and freaking desperate. ‘Oh yeah? I was fourteen. Did you know my parents both died right before I was tested? Did you know I lost everything and… it happened? I’d just found out I was going to have Bonds and everything was going to be ok. I’d lost them, you know? I’d lost everything.’
Gryphon’s hands tighten so hard that the leather of the steering wheel creaks. ‘Did you want your Bonds? Back then?’
I blink back the tears that always come when I think about that time. ‘More than anything, that’s what I wanted.’
He nods. ‘And now? Do you want your Bonds now?’
I reach for the handle on the door to escape. I have to get the hell out of this car before he gets another truth out of me, the only truth here that eats at me every time I find myself trapped with one of them.
‘Oli, answer me. Do you want your Bonds or not?’ he growls, pushing the lock button to stop me from getting out.
I glance back at him, glaring at him for doing this shit to me. ‘There’s no point in answering it. I can’t have these Bonds. You all hate me, and I know it’s too dangerous to try. I’m better off alone.’
I get out but I hear his words before the door slams shut behind me. “That might be your truth, but it’s not mine.”
I need to stay the hell away from them all.
