The sound of a door being kicked in wakes me.
Atlas rolls over me, bracing himself as he goes so he doesn’t hurt me, and then leaps out of the bed on my side, standing between the bed and whoever the fuck has just arrived. It’s all a little too smooth for me, he’s definitely had training and I’m jealous of how quickly his brain has come online because I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck is happening right now.
“Who the fuck— are you kidding me? What the fuck is your problem, Draven?”
My eyes finally adjust to the light streaming into the room from the kitchen and I find that it really is North here, storming into the apartment with an entire fucking TacTeam because I dared to break his stupid rules… by sleeping in Atlas’ apartment, two blocks away from the dorms.
It’s probably because of the two am wake up, but I suddenly want to burst into tears of rage and hopelessness. Atlas squares up on him, staring around at the men all dressed in their riot gear like he’s going to take them all on for showing up here.
I don’t feel a tug to any of them so at least Gryphon isn’t here to see this mess.
‘She has a curfew and she knows it,’ North says, his voice sounding the same as ever, cold and unaffected, but I can feel the difference in him. I’ve been forced to spend enough time with him to know that under all of that ice, he’s fuming, pissed off that I would dare defy his rules.
I feel like a freaking child being scolded and the scowl on Atlas’ face says he’s feeling the same way. ‘She’s my Bond and if I want her to sleep in my damn bed then she will. She wasn’t running off or doing anything else you’ve put on your no-no list. I’ll go to the Council myself if you try to stop her from coming here.’
North smooths a hand down his tie. ‘Good luck getting the rest of the Council to go against me.’
He finally looks over at me, his eyes calculating and unimpressed at the disheveled state of me sitting there in my old, ratty pajamas. ”We’re leaving. Get up, Fallows.”
I pull my knees up to my chest as I stare around at the men all standing there. ‘I’m not even wearing a bra, I don’t want to-‘
‘I wasn’t asking what you wanted to do. I’m telling you to walk downstairs and get in my car, Fallows.’
My heart climbs up my throat and tries to choke me. ‘Atlas is one of my Bonds as well. Why can’t I stay here?’
North doesn’t budge and his mouth is sealed shut in a disapproving line. Well, fuck. Atlas shifts forward like he’s going to attack them all and I really don’t want a part in that. I can’t afford for that to happen, if it triggers my gift then it’ll be a big game over for me so instead, I sigh and get out of the bed.
Tears prick at my eyes as I leave without looking at Atlas. I don’t need to see whatever it is that’s showing on his face, it’ll only push me over the goddamned edge. Maybe he’s figured out that I’m too much fucking trouble. Maybe he’s finally realized I’m no fucking good for any of them.
Fuck.
I think about running but it leaves me as quickly as it comes. North will find me, no matter where I go, he’ll find me.
The elevator is freezing and I cross my arms over my chest when the TacTeam member glances over at me, escorting me down as though I’m about to run screaming into the night in my freaking pajamas.
More useless tears threaten to fall and I choke them back.
The driver pulls the door open as I approach and I tighten my arms across my chest to try to hide my lack of bra a little. I smile and thank him but he ignores me completely, shutting the door firmly after me. Great. Everyone fucking hates me, even North’s freaking driver.
I sit and wallow in my own bleak misery until the door opens and the man of the moment climbs in, sitting opposite to me so we’re facing one another. The car starts and we take off down the street, in the wrong direction.
I fidget nervously, unable to sit still in the suffocating silence.
North is, as always, unaffected. Completely at ease as he looks out at the college campus.
‘If the housing provided to you is inadequate, then I will have you moved into my residence. You can commute from there.’
Dear God, no. I can barely handle the dinner there one night a week. “The campus is fine. I can go back there. I can call a cab, just let me out.’
His eyes are so sharp I’m sure I must be fucking bleeding. ‘Is there something wrong, Fallows? Some reason you don’t want to travel with me? I will provide everything you require.’
I swallow. ‘I was going to stay with Atlas so I could be with one of my Bonds. The campus is fine, I can go… home to there.’
The word home gets stuck in my throat but I force it out, anything to get out of this fucking car.
‘You’re in luck. My house has three of your Bonds living there, so you will have one of us with you at all times.’
I glance out of the window so he doesn’t see the useless tears starting in my eyes. Perfect. I’ve gone from a shitty, but solitary room, to something that’s probably over the top in it’s luxury but full of the men who hate me.
‘Anything else you’d like to say, Fallows?’
I blink back the tears. ‘No. Thank you.’
My voice comes out thready, but clear enough. North gets his phone out so I guess that’s the conversation over with.
THE MOMENT we step out of the car in North’s garage, we’re greeted by three of his house staff. I keep my arms crossed over my chest tightly, as though no one will notice I’m standing around looking homeless if I just keep my chest covered, but none of them look my way anyway.
“Councilman Eversong has arrived, he’s waiting in your office.”
North curses softly under his breath and takes the folder from one of the men, speaking to me in the same cold tone he has all night without so much as a glance in my direction, “Evelyn will show you to your room, Fallows. I’ll collect you from there in the morning to take you down to breakfast, I expect you to stay there until then.”
Perfect.
Great.
Fucking wonderful.
I’ve gone from a limited existence to a freaking cage and there’s nothing I can do about it. This beautiful, obscenely ornate mansion is now more than just a place I come each week to be tortured… now it’s the hell that I’ll be trapped in until I freaking die.
Maybe the Resistance finding me wouldn’t be the worst option.
North and both of the men walk away without noticing the seething rage I’m trapped in, leaving Evelyn and me behind to head off to my new prison cell.
“If you could follow me, Miss Fallows. Your room is on the third floor.”
I want nothing more than to lash out and tell her to fuck off, but then I glance over to find her staring at the ground in submission. I have no freaking clue how North treats his staff, but they all tiptoe around like we’re monsters they’ve been enslaved to and it makes me feel as uncomfortable as hell.
So I keep my mouth shut and spare the poor woman the vitriol that’s running through my head.
I need to start keeping track of directions in this place because after two turns, I’m already completely disoriented and lost. When we make it down one of the long halls to the elevator, I startle at the ding because I honestly thought the elevator was on the other side of the building the last time I was forced into it.
Evelyn doesn’t speak, she doesn’t look around at anything or fuss with her clothing in a nervous tick. She’s the picture of a subservient housemaid in a mansion who sees everything and nothing.
I have exactly none of her composure. I twitch and pick at my skin like I can feel a million crawling insects moving through my veins.
We turn another corner and come face-to-face with the real reason I don’t want to stay in this fucking house because my worst goddamn nightmare is headed right towards us, dressed casually in black slacks and a soft cashmere sweater. Nox’s eyes flick over to Evelyn and he dismisses her with a simple, “Leave us.”
That’s it.
Two words is all it takes for me to be stranded in a hallway with the only one of my Bonds that I’m positive wants me dead. Evelyn just scurries away without a word.
Once we’re alone, he doesn’t waste time going for my throat. “Why are you dressed like a common whore? Did North have to hunt you down at some frat house? You sure know how to piss my brother off, don’t you, Poison?’
Poison.
Of course he’d be the person to link my name up with the terrible position that I’ve inadvertently put us all in. I’m the poison that’s been spread into his family.
I will not cry, and I certainly won’t let him know how much he’s getting under my skin. ‘A girl has to get her fun where she can, Nox. Why do you care so much? It’s not like you want me. You have more than enough on your plate, right?’
He steps forward, crowding me against the wall. ‘Maybe I should bond with you, Poison. Maybe I should try you out so the next time I fuck my girlfriend, you’ll know all about it and you’ll feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. It might help you to understand what you put the rest of us through when you ran off.’
He steps into my body, the size difference between us means he looms over me and I have to force myself to stand my ground. He’s never been this close to me before. I’d once thought the burning rage in his eyes was hot, but it’s nothing compared to the heat of his body as he presses me into the wall. I feel his bond skim over my body and I pull mine in closer, fighting against it as it strains for him. There no fucking way I’m ending up tied to this man.
I’d rather have any of my other Bonds over him. Fuck, I’d take North with a smile and a ‘thank you, sir’ over this asshole.
“You can’t hide it, Poison. You might not have a gift, but I can feel your bond and it wants me.”
I couldn’t give less of a fuck what my bond wants, I will not bond with him.
I want to plant my hands on his chest and shove him the fuck away from me, but it’s taking every fiber of my being to keep my bond under control. My hands are balled into fists at my side, my jaw clenched up tight, and my knees are locked to stop them from shaking.
I can’t say a word as his hand comes up to wrap around my throat, his fingers flexing there like he’s imagining squeezing the life out of me, and then we’re moving backwards together, his body pressed against mine as my back hits the wall. I’m trapped in every way that I can be; my bond is wrapped up tight, my mind is stuck holding the threads of my sanity together so I don’t tie myself to him, and physically, there’s no way I can fight him off.
He pushes one of his knees in between my legs and I suddenly become acutely aware of the fact that I’m only wearing my old pair of silky boxer shorts, a thrift shop find of new-with-tags that at the time felt so mature and edgy, but now I’m trembling like a freaking lamb at the way he’s pushing into me, his leg rocking and grinding. Fuck me, this is the hardest goddamned thing I’ve ever done because the moment I come, my bond is going to unleash, binding us together for all of time, which sounds fucking terrible but it’s not even the worst part of this situation.
If my power grows we are all fucked.
His hand around my throat flexes a little and then he leans forward again, his lips brushing against my earlobe as he whispers in a dark rasp, “I want my power. I want what you owe me. I have waited five years for this. I’d been waiting five years before then. An entire decade I’ve been waiting to have my full power, and you’re just going to come here and say no to us all? I don’t fucking think so, Poison.’
I struggle to pull away from him, there’s no way I’m going to bend over in a hallway for this arrogant asshole, but it’s nothing for him to just jerk me forward and catch my lips in a biting kiss.
My bond reacts immediately.
It’s never left me like this before, the surge of power within me almost taking me to my knees, and it takes everything inside of me to stop the bonding from happening, the tying of our souls together forever.
As Nox bites my lip and forces my mouth open, our tongues tangling together while he makes use of my inability to protest or move, my bond tries to pull free harder than ever before but I leash it, shoving down until it’s contained.
I’m so goddamned focused on stopping my bond from claiming him as my own that my body moves into autopilot, becoming pliant and easy for him to move and control however the fuck he wants. There’s nothing soft or sensual about what he’s doing. He knows exactly what it takes for a bond to occur and he’s utterly ruthless about moving through the steps.
Somewhere, in a dark and faraway corner of my mind, I’m almost impressed at how quickly he’s able to work me over. Kissing, stroking, the knee between my legs pushing into my body until my hips rock all on their own, there’s no way I can fight him and my bond at the same time.
When his bond slams into me, a force all on its own, I almost cry because I want it so badly. Fuck, my brain isn’t even my own anymore. All I know is the bond. All I can think about is the bond and I want it so fucking badly.
I accept that he’s going to make me come.
I hate him and I hate that he’s doing this to me, but the lesser of two evils right now is keeping my shit together. When his fingers touch me, skimming down the old, ratty shirt and shoving the silky shorts down my legs until he has full access to my traitorous pussy, I almost give in to the bonding. I almost lose control and just kiss him back because why the fuck shouldn’t I lose myself to the pleasure? Why shouldn’t I give in to the power coursing through me, desperately trapped within my skin because I won’t let it touch his bond where it’s caressing me?
Then my brain comes back online and I remember all of the devastation that’s already come from my power. I cannot let myself get any stronger. I can’t become the evil that the Resistance wants me to be.
I can’t even shove him away because if I move a single muscle right now, my bond will take over me and then it’s all over. Everything I’ve worked so goddamn hard to stop, it’ll all happen and I’m not letting that happen with the worst, most arrogant and entitled of my Bonds.
He has too much experience with women, clearly, because he has no problems finding my clit, slicking a finger through my wet folds and using it to circle and stroke and work me over like a goddamned pro.
It’s almost insulting how easy it all is for him.
His fingers are merciless as he takes me higher and higher, and for a second I think he’s enjoying this as much as I am.
When I break away from his lips to moan and pant, desperately fighting to control myself, he leans back in to croon in my ear, “Well? Let’s see what you’ve got then, Poison.’
As the orgasm rips through me I have to force my ability down, to keep it hidden, and the pain that comes with it burns my skin and muscles until I think I’ll burst into flames for real. A sob tears out of my throat and my knees finally give out. Nox doesn’t even attempt to hold me up, his lip curling as he steps away from me, and his bond slips away from my skin as he realizes that he’s not getting what he wants from me. I slide down the wall until I’m on my knees before him, my entire body burning with the pain of holding back the bonding.
Nox scoffs at me, his voice still that same scathing, furious tone of his that cuts through my skin right down to the bone, ‘Fucking pathetic, Poison, you can’t even bond right. You’re nothing but a liability.’
And then he stalks off down the hall, leaving me with my shorts around my ankles and my pride in tatters around me.
What have I done?
Okay, no, I did nothing wrong here. So why exactly do I feel like the worst goddamned person on the planet right now? I did the right thing. I didn’t bond, that was the right thing… wasn’t it? This is his fault.
A soft voice startles me out of my misery, “Miss? I can show you to your rooms.’
Tears do track down my cheeks as I glance up at the maid hovering over me, pointedly not looking at my very exposed lower half. She’s younger than Evelyn was, but I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse.
I lurch to my feet and get myself covered as I croak out, “Thank you, I would very much appreciate that.’
She nods and waits for me to get myself back together, then leads me down the hall. My room is tucked away, about as far away from the sea views as possible, but it’s quiet and private, and that’s all I really need.
The maid hovers for a second after I walk in and then says, ‘The door locks from the inside and only Mister Draven has a copy of the key to open it. Mister North Draven, that is. You’ll be… safe here, Miss Fallows.’
Oh great, she’s seen enough of what happened between Nox and I to be worried. ‘Thank you… Sorry, I’m so rude, I didn’t even ask for your name.’
The maid smiles and waves a hand. ‘Don’t worry about that, Miss. I’ll be in to clean in the morning, just leave me a note if there’s anything you need. Mister Draven has instructed me to ensure you have everything you need.’
Freedom, independence, and a plane ticket out of here. ‘My bag was in North’s car, it has my clothes in it.’
She nods. ‘I will have it here shortly. Goodnight, Miss.’
She leaves me to it and I check out the bathroom quickly before climbing in the shower to wash off the guilt and awful feeling Nox has left me with.
I have no choice but to get dressed back into my pajamas, leaving the boxer shorts in the laundry basket. I’ll never freaking touch them again. I should really burn them. I absently wonder how much it will cost to replace them and suddenly becoming a cam-girl is looking even more tempting.
Someone out there must want to pay to see my rack, right?
My bag is sitting on my bed when I get back to my room and it reminds me to flick the lock on the door before I climb into bed.
I grab my phone and find Atlas’ text message waiting for me.
I’ve already called the Council and put in a formal complaint. They’ll probably rule in North’s favor, but I’m pushing to have you here a few nights a week, Oli. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how fucking irrational he is about you. Sweet dreams, sweet girl.
I’m not sweet though. I really am fucking poison, just like Nox said. I’m everything that’s wrong with our bond. If I wasn’t born… wrong, this would never have happened. I’d never have to leave them again and we’d all be whole right now instead of being these broken people.
Nox is so fucking damaged by what I’ve been forced to do, I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me.
I know I won’t forgive him.
I won’t even be able to look the guy in the face ever again.
Fuck.
My phone buzzes in my hand again.
I can see you’ve read the text, Oli, tell me you’re okay. Because if you’re not, I’m coming there right now, fuck the Council.
I rub my finger over the photo of him in my contacts. Fuck it, we’re bonds right?
Nox is pissed and he tried to bond with me. It didn’t work and he’s told me I’m defective. You should probably be warned that you’re trying to solidify a bond with someone who isn’t… worth it. I’m turning my phone off to go to sleep. Goodnight, Atlas. You’re the best guy I’ve ever known and I’m so sorry you’re stuck with a defective Bond.
I switch my phone off the second the text shows as delivered. I don’t need to know what his answer is, I just need to forget about this absolute shit-show that my life is and pass out.
I can’t run from this forever but I can for tonight.
