I follow Gabe’s lead and walk into the changing rooms to dump my bag off in the locker that has been assigned to me, a tag with Fallows already stuck on there. There’s a uniform and a slip of paper with the combination to the locker on it.
The other girls are all laughing and talking as they change into their uniforms and I can’t help but notice that they’re all very toned looking. I’ve never cared enough about other people’s opinions of me to feel self-conscious of my body but, hell, I’ve never been so aware of my own short-comings before.
I’m going to die.
The shorts are too short and the shirt is too long, so it almost looks like I’m not wearing bottoms at all. None of the other girls attempt to speak to me but all of them give me a once-over like I’m diseased, whispering and murmuring without even attempting subtlety.
I take a deep breath before I walk back out into the training room, just to pull myself together and attempt to find some inner strength to get through this but… nothing. There’s no secret well within myself overflowing with fortitude and confidence.
There’s a heap of grumpy and self-loathing though, so I might just pull on those instead and hope for the best.
Gabe is lounging against the wall outside the changing room, laughing and joking around with some of his friends from the football team. They all fall silent when I walk out, throwing looks around at each other like they’re all talking telepathically about how shit I am. Fuck, they might be, for all I know and care.
“I was about to come in there after you. You can’t hide from Vivian, you know. He’d just come in here after you.”
I shrug and try to hide my shock at this hard-ass Vivian being a man. Of course it would be another man here to push me around and ruin my life. Gabe rolls his eyes at my silence, putting on a show for his friends because he obviously doesn’t want them knowing how badly my rejection hurts him. It’s so obvious to me, but they all start cracking jokes about his defective Bond like I’m not standing right here listening.
Fucking pigs.
I stalk away from them, out to the front of the group, to find Gryphon standing there in Tac gear with a very old, very round man who looks like he’s mad at the world that he woke up this morning and has to deal with college students.
I recognize it because I feel the exact same way.
Gryphon looks me over with cold, disinterested eyes and then glances away, which my bond does not like at all, but I shove the feeling aside. Vivian takes way more interest in me, frowning and staring me down.
“You’re the Bond? You look about twelve years old, are you sure you’re old enough to be here?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Nope, can I leave now?”
Gryphon ignores my sass and walks around me to start barking out orders to the rest of the class, directing them into a training circuit that I’d rather have Sage set me on fire than complete.
Vivian looks me over again as Gryphon stalks back over and says, “I was expecting more. What’s your gift? You’d better have something good for me.”
For him? That’s fucking weird. I shrug. “Nothing. I’ve got nothing for you.”
Gryphon’s eyes flash over to mine as he frowns but he doesn’t comment on me finally confirming all of their worst nightmares; a giftless Bond.
Fuck, I wish it were true.
Vivian’s eyes narrow even more at me until they almost look closed, his mouth turning down, “I’m going to work this attitude out of you, you know. You’ll break before the end of the day, I’m sure.”
God, probably. I’ll be lucky to last ten minutes, but I don’t give him the satisfaction of saying so. I just wait for him to start directing me.
It’s so much worse than I thought it would be.
Vivian makes me my own circuit to go through so he can assess where my fitness is at and my lungs are screaming within a minute. By the half hour mark, I can’t feel my legs. By the hour, I can taste blood and see white dots in the corners of my vision.
It’s only by my sheer stubborn will that I keep going.
When Gryphon blows a whistle sharply to signal the end of this part of the training, I’m shocked to find out I’m the only one still working out, everyone else is sitting around drinking water and watching me sweat my ass off on the elliptical.
I want to collapse onto the ground in a heap but then Gryphon calls out, “That’s your warmup over with, get your asses into the control room so we can go over today’s lesson plan”
Warmup?
You’ve got to be shitting me.
I want to kill someone, I want it so badly that my gift stirs in my chest and I have to tell it to simmer down because I can’t actually lash out right now, or ever.
It takes me three tries to get my legs to work, but I stumble after the group and through the building until we’re in the control room, which just looks like a meeting room filled with security screens. They’re all on and showing the empty obstacle courses, the images flicking through until I want to weep, each of them looking impossible to get through.
Gabe leans against the wall next to me, his eyes on Gryphon as he sips at his bottle of water. I’d kill for some but there’s no way I’m asking him. Not when we’re jammed in this room with at least fifty other students, all of them listening and judging me, because the whole campus would hear about him telling me to shove it.
So I focus back on Vivian and my scowling Bond at the front of the class.
“We’re sticking to something easy. You’ll be splitting into two teams and the first to get everyone through the course wins. Simple,” says Vivian, scowling around at everyone, but he doesn’t fool me for a second.
There’s nothing easy about that. It looks impossible, freaking impossible, and when he calls out the names of people on the red team, I’m not shocked at the sounds of groans and bitching when he calls out mine to place me in the group.
I’m probably going to be the deadest weight my team has ever had.
When the teams have been named, everyone moves into the next room, grabbing armbands in either red or blue and tying them on. More than one person on my team makes snide comments about being doomed thanks to my presence but even if I felt like starting a fight, I can’t.
There’s no freaking way I’m getting through the course, not without help, and there isn’t a single person here who isn’t looking at me with open contempt.
Not even my own Bonds.
Okay, probably not the best example to use because of course the Bonds that I rejected are both looking around like they’d rather peel their own skin off than be in the same goddamn room as me. The second I get out of here today, I’m walking over to the dean’s office and demanding a schedule change. I’m not doing this shit all year. I could handle the training and the workouts— it’s brutal but doable— but working with other students who all would love nothing more than to watch me croak?
No.
No fucking thank you.
I’m the last person to grab an armband and Vivian watches me tie it on with a scowl. When it’s secure, I look up at him and he jerks his head to motion me over to where he’s standing. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever bullshit he’s going to throw at me.
He’s an older man, his face a little haggard and scarred, and when he talks, the thick white line through his top lip distorts the sound a little, giving him the slightest lisp. “You’re at a disadvantage here because everyone else has done the course before and knows their way around it. I’ll pair you with your Bond just this once, so he can get you through it.”
Dear God, no. “I doubt he wants that. It’s fine, if I die, then at least I don’t have to do this again.”
He squints at me like he thinks I’m joking but then he glances over my shoulder at whatever face Gabe is pulling right now and shrugs. “Suit yourself, I don’t get involved in bond bullshit. There are three other people in the class with low-level gifts, they all do fine, but they all have their Bonded with them and are in better shape than you are.”
Great.
Excellent. Perfect. I nod and slink back over to the wall where Gabe is scowling at the ground like it’s personally pissed him off. The room is so loud that I almost miss it when he mumbles, “Fuck, I wish you’d never come back.”
THE BLUE TEAM gets let in from the left side of the course, while the red takes the right. I stay towards the back of the group, mostly to stay out of the way, but also so I can see exactly where people are going. The aim here is to run the whole course and not be taken out and I’m at a disadvantage to everyone else right now, so whatever edge I can give myself will help.
There’s a group of guys at the front, jostling and jeering at each other with that over-exaggerated bravado that has my eyes rolling, and a bunch of girls giggling over their antics. All of them are dressed in teeny-tiny shorts and tight tank tops, with a whole lot of toned skin on show. I’m jealous, honestly, of how great they all look, while I’m over here looking like a sack of potatoes in the oversized uniform. I’ve always cared about my appearance but being here, surrounded by the whispers and judgmental stares of everyone, I’m suddenly hyper-aware of every last one of my flaws.
My ass looks nothing like the amazing one the girl eyeing Gabe is rocking. He meets my eye over her head for a second before he winks at her, constant in his efforts at baiting me into jealousy. My bond isn’t happy but I shove it down in my chest again because fuck him.
He’s already made it clear he doesn’t want me, all of his antics to get a rise out of me are just freaking childish.
I’m still busy picking out all of the features I’d love to have from the other girls when a buzzer sounds and the doors open. Gabe is one of the first guys to enter the course, bounding out of the room and disappearing into the thick cluster of trees right at the door. I approach slowly, glancing at Vivian and Gryphon’s broody figures before I finally cross into the course.
It’s so much bigger once you’re in it.
I’d known that it covered a lot of ground, the fences went on for miles, but the moment the door shut behind me with a resounding thump, I know I’m in way over my head.
The only upside is that we’re not supposed to use our gifts, so it’s an even playing field for me. Wait, no, it’s still not fair, because everyone else has run the course before and knows what to expect and there’s also the small fact that they’re all ripped and I’m not, but at least no one is going to be throwing fire balls at my head or shapeshifting or, fuck, becoming invisible and slitting my throat.
Okay, that last one might be my dramatics coming out.
The first thing I have to do is jog down to a river that I’m sure can’t be real. The funding that must have gone into this program is insane. If I didn’t already know that the Dravens are freaking filthy rich, I would now. The other students are all crossing it together, laughing and joking with each other because it’s all normal shit to them, and I glance down at my shorts and shoes in sadness.
Running the rest of the course in wet shoes is going to be actual torture. I could take them off, who the fuck cares about the time that’ll take me, but what if there’s sharp rocks or… creatures in there?
If I think about any of the creatures that might be in the water, it’s entirely possible I will run away screaming, which is too freaking embarrassing, so I guess I’m leaving my shoes on, soggy feet be damned.
I wait until everyone else has made it through the water, watching them as they make it across. There’s a sinkhole if you head straight through the middle of the path, and everyone is avoiding the left-hand side, so there must be a reason for that.
Once they’ve disappeared through the thick trees again, I get to work, wincing at the freezing temperature but gritting my teeth and just walking straight in. I really, really hate it. The mud is thick enough that I can feel it seeping into my shoes and when I finally get to the other side, I have to pull my shoes off to attempt to empty the slime out.
When I’ve done my best to empty them and tied my sneakers back on, I glance up to find Gabe bounding off into the trees, as if he’d stopped to watch me. My bond crows in my chest, like it’s a victory that he gives a fuck about me making it through, but for all I know, he was hoping to see me drown.
The sadness that clings to him when I’m around says he’s worried about me, but I don’t want to think about that.
I then have to run for another quarter mile, the ground far more rough and dangerous in wet, slimy shoes. I’m freezing and my thighs are chafing, thanks to the water and the shorts, and I kinda want to die.
I’m going to call North and tear strips off of him for this stupid class.
The trees clear again and I find most of the other students running away from the next obstacle, already having completed it and gaining more of a lead on me. I can spot Gabe’s back as he leaves me behind, without a second glance this time, and I take a deep breath.
Barbed wire is strung up along posts, low to the ground, as the students all army-crawl their way under it. By the time they each make it out on the other side, they’re covered in dirt and mud, scrapes and cuts along their arms because this isn’t about pushing us all, it’s about destroying our wills and breaking us down.
I don’t wait around this time, the longer I look at the barbed wire, the less I want to crawl under it, so there’s still other students making their way through it in front of me. Granted, they’re all taking it a lot better than I am, barely making a goddamn sound while I’m grunting and panting my way through, but I try not to focus on that.
At least being out of shape helps me shimmy my way under the wire, thanks to my complete lack of ass. I take the lead over the girl in front of me, thanks to her having to watch out for her amazing bubble butt. I’m no longer jealous that she has one.
Okay, I’m still just a little jealous.
My arms are torn to pieces when I finally get to the end and I have to do my best to brush away the gravel and sticks that are glued to the wounds. The girl I shimmied past doesn’t bother cleaning herself up, she just throws me a savage look and sprints off down the path like this is all a regular Friday afternoon for her.
What a freaking psycho.
I take the next quarter mile at a slow jog, every part of my body screaming for me to stop. There’s definitely going to be blisters all over my poor, soggy feet when this shit is over with. I focus on my breathing and tell myself that this is all going to end soon. I could be wrong, there could be fifty more stupid things to climb under and over and through, but my mind might break if I think about it too much.
When the clearing finally appears out of nowhere, tears are prickling at the corners of my eyes and my nose is running. I must look like a complete mess and I’m grateful that no one is around to see me like this.
The next obstacle is an A-frame with netting over it and a large pool of muddy water underneath it, a smell wafting up from it that turns my stomach. If I fall in that, there’s a one hundred percent chance of me ending up with a flesh-eating bacteria, so even if I’m going to bomb out of this shit today, this is not the obstacle I’m going to tank on.
I’m not sure any of my Bonds would believe I need medical care before I freaking died.
My arms shake and my fingers are completely numb as I try to grasp the rope netting, so I slow down, race be damned, and gingerly test out my grip until I’m sure I’m not going to slip and fall before I start the climb over the A-frame. I don’t give a damn if I’m the last person to cross the line, getting there is enough for me.
I can think about the team when the team starts to give a fuck about me.
When I reach the top, I have to take a second to choke down the vomit climbing up my throat, the coppery tang of blood in my mouth, and I just sit there and take some deep, gulping breaths. I can see the end of the course from here, the line of trees right before the gate to get the hell out of this hellhole, and I give myself another deep breath before I climb down the other side.
I’m almost done, almost out of this place and back to my dorm room to die in peace, away from all of these judgmental eyes.
Not that there’s anyone left in this place.
I don’t think anyone else is having the trouble that I am getting through the course, and it’s been at least an hour since I last saw someone. Considering this is supposed to be a race, that’s not so strange, but as the ropes dig into my hands as I slip and scramble my way down, I find myself a little frantic to get out of here. I’m so close to being done, so freaking close, and I don’t need to fall into a trap now and ruin everything.
I have to jog for another quarter mile before I finally see the fence and the gate through the trees. I want to yell out in victory but my lungs are screaming in my chest and I think I’m going to vomit everywhere the second I cross the finish line. I need to get in shape if this is going to be my life now but knowing that I’ve actually managed to survive my first class without dying or making a fool of myself?
Incredible.
The moment I reach the tree line, my guard is down, so I don’t see the shadow of the girl until it’s too late. The fist to my head knocks me out cold.
