I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked by Brooks’ admission, but angered at the idea of how he interpreted my words. Never once did I catch the idea that this man had feelings for me. Never once did he exude any sort of flirtatious advances, secretive winks, or soft touches I had to smack his hand for. There was simply nothing. That night at the bar, he didn’t flirt. He didn’t engage me. He barely fucking talked, especially with Gage running his mouth the way he always did.
And now, he’s about to accuse me of never loving his best friend?
I drew in a long, deep, sobering breath. “I want to get one thing very clear before I begin.”
Brooks nodded, but he didn’t say anything.
Good boy. “I loved—and will always love—Gage. That man was my world. From the first seat he took in front of me at that bar, he captivated me. His smile. His words. His booming laughter. All of it. I tripped and fell into the orbit that was Gage and I begged him not to set me free.”
And again, Brooks nodded but he didn’t speak. So, I walked around the table and hovered over him.
“When I took those vows that day at the altar with him, I meant every word. Every syllable. I promised to love him during the good times and the bad. I promised to help him, no matter what. I promised to take care of him, no matter what life threw our way. And I promised to do that until death parted us for good.”
I swallowed back tears as I held my head high. “But… you. Brooks, not once did I ever get the inclination that you were interested in me. Not once did you ever do anything to even remotely show me that you were nothing but the playful wingman to your best friend. I know the act. I’ve seen the schtick. And that’s the act you played.”
He sighed. “Raven, I—”
I pressed my finger against his lips. “You talked, and now I talk.”
He nodded and I let my finger slide down his chin before falling off his jawline. “Every time I was around you, you pointed me back to Gage. Even before he asked me out. Even before I came to the mechanic’s shop, you always pointed me back toward your best friend. It was like you couldn’t even see how hard I was trying to get into your orbit. Because while Gage had me trapped in his because of how effervescent and full of life he always was, there was something about you I couldn’t shake.”
I took a step back as Brooks stood to his feet. Still muted, but now cloaking me in his shadow.
“Despite the impression Gage left, it was your face I saw whenever I closed my eyes. Despite Gage’s beautiful words and perfect little gifts, it was you I kept side-eyeing. He trapped me, but you captivated me. But when Gage asked me out, I decided ‘what the hell?’ What harm could it do? I figured I’d go on a few dates with him, it might light a fire under your ass to ask me out, and then I could see how everything shook out.”
His brooding stare held mine. “And?”
I shrugged. “And you never asked me out. You never gave me a chance. That told me everything I thought I needed to know, so I focused all of my energy onto Gage. And don’t muddle my words; I fell head over fucking heels for the man. He’s a good man. Was a good man.”
I had to blink back tears before continuing. “But you never made a move. I was drawn to you from the get-go, yet all of your efforts went into shoving me in Gage’s direction. So, what I want to know is why.”
He blinked. “Why?”
I nodded. “Yes. Why—even before Gage admitted to you how he felt about me—didn’t you just fucking make a god damn move?”
The second I threw out my question, he rushed me. He cupped my cheeks and barreled me back until the wall stopped my movements. I gasped as his knee pressed between my legs. My broken breaths from the totality of my emotion fell against his skin as his face approached my own. His thumb ran along my lower lip. His eyes danced across my face.
And when he had me pinned, his forehead fell against my own.
“Well?” I whispered.
“How’s this for a move?” he murmured.
He captured my lips in a searing kiss and my hands raked through his hair. He ground against me, my pussy sliding against the jeans covering his thighs as his arms cloaked my back. He pulled me away from the wall, whipping me around before he scooped me into his arms. And as my head fell against his shoulder, he walked me down the hallway.
Down toward the guest bedroom he hadn’t yet occupied.
“Brooks,” I whispered.
He settled me gently against the bed and climbed on top of me. “Is this what you want?”
My eyes held his. “Why do I feel so guilty for saying yes?”
He stroked my cheek with his knuckles. “Probably for the same reason I do.”
“And what’s the reason?”
His lips hovered over mine. “Because I know things would’ve turned out differently if I would’ve grown a set of fucking balls.”
Then, his lips crashed against my own as he pinned my wrists above my head.
