Maci Feldman charged me once Ben and I had arrived at the bonfire. “That was awesome! My brother is like so unbelievably happy he won that bet.”
Bonfires were held on Marcus Hitchens’s property, on the banks of Swansea Lake, practically every week, especially following races and football games. The bitter cold of January and February was the only time when little happened, both at the lake and the Benson farm track.
“I’m glad I could help,” I responded. And it was true. Racing tonight had been the best time I’d ever had. “But I only won because the other girl had no idea how to drive a manual.”
Why did I say that? I rocked that race whether or not the twit knew what she was doing.
She hooked my arm, while Ben had his hand around my waist. Others came up to greet us, either to say “hi” to Ben or to congratulate me.
“Well, I for one would love to see you race again. How about you, Ben?” Maci addressed my date as he turned his attention away from his football buddies.
“I think I’m a lucky guy.” He peered down at me, and it didn’t escape my notice how he evaded the question. I wondered if it embarrassed him to have his date doing something the guys typically only took part in.
As it was already ten-thirty, I committed to staying for an hour before having Ben take me home. With the meet in the morning, I’d have to get home and rest whether I liked it or not.
“Great race tonight, Tate.” Jess Cullen patted me on the shoulder as she passed by.
“Thanks,” I exhaled, feeling unsettled with the attention.
“You alright?” Ben pulled me close.
“Absolutely,” I choked out before inching towards the refreshments. “Can we get something to drink?”
He held up his hand to keep me put. “Stay here, I’ll be back.” And he walked off to the keg.
Clots of people stood around the fire or sat on boulders, while others circulated. K.C. hadn’t arrived yet, that I could see, and I assumed she drove with Jared. I stood there, feeling uneasy about my place. I guess I could thank Jared for me being more comfortable around a small group than lots of people. Because of him, I’d never been invited to these things.
I shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts. I needed to stop blaming him. It was his fault that I’d been black-listed in the past, but it wasn’t his fault that I’d accepted it. This was on me now.
Looking over to the group of girls giggling near the water, I recognized one from my cross-country team.
“Screw it.” I shrugged my shoulders and decided to dive in. I took a step towards the group when a voice stopped me.
“Screw what?”
Goose bumps spread over my body as I turned around to face Jared. He held a cup in one hand and his phone in the other. He appeared to be sending a text while waiting for my reply. He slipped the phone into his back pocket and raised his eyes to me.
The hair on my arms felt electrified with static as if it were drawn to Jared. Rubbing my hands up and down my arms, I turned my head back to the fire, trying to ignore him. I still wasn’t sure where we stood. We weren’t friends, but we weren’t enemies anymore either. And having a normal conversation was still out of the question.
“You’re cold.” Jared pulled up beside me. “Does K.C. still have your jacket?”
I sighed, unsure about what was causing my annoyance this time. Maybe it was because every time Jared was around me, the nerves in my body became a springs pulsating heat, whereas Ben made me feel like curling up on the couch to watch American Idol.
Jared probably never watched T.V. Too mundane of an activity.
Also, I found it ridiculous that Jared acted concerned about me being cold when earlier this week he’d said he didn’t care whether I lived or died. He’d apologized for nothing, and I couldn’t forget that.
“Well, she was wearing my jacket when you brought her here, wasn’t she?” My snippy remark was greeted with a smirk.
“She didn’t come with me. I don’t know if she’s even here yet.” His head turned and his eyes looked down to me.
“What do you mean? You left the race without her, didn’t you?”
“No, she caught a ride with Liam. I came here alone.” Jared’s low, husky tone washed over me, and I fought back a smile hearing his last words.
It looked like K.C. and Liam were on the road to recovery.
I cleared my throat. “And that was okay with you?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” He asked me point-blank, a confused expression on his face.
Of course. What was I thinking? Jared didn’t date, and there was no way he was invested in K.C. I dug into the small bag resting on my hip and searched for my phone.
“If I see her, I’ll tell her to find you.” Jared started to walk away but stopped after a few steps and turned back to me. “I’m going to need the fossil back.” He gestured towards the necklace around my neck.
I realized he was talking about his good luck charm. “Not going to happen.” And I directed my attention back to my phone.
“Oh, Tate. I always get what I want.” His low, flirty tone made me freeze. My fingers were paused above my cell screen as if I’d suddenly forgotten how to send a text. I looked up in time to see him smile and walk away.
Watching him head to Madoc and others in his crew, I was more puzzled now that I was earlier this week. I’d wanted Jared to become more human, and I’d wanted him to treat me well. Now that he’s showing signs of both, I was sick with unanswered questions. Old feelings seeped through the cracks of the wall I’d built to keep him out.
“Hey, here you go.” Ben walked up with two beers, handing me one.
“Thanks.” I licked my lips and took a sip, letting the bitter taste wet my tongue and throat.
Ben ran his fingers down my hair and combed it behind my ear. My muscles tensed. My invisible three feet of personal space had been breached, and I wanted to step away.
Why? Why couldn’t I just like this guy? I was frustrated with myself. He seemed decent and goal-oriented. Why wasn’t he turning my insides to goo or making me daydream?
I felt the certainty creep up on me, and I was powerless to stop it. I didn’t want Ben. Plain and simple. I wasn’t going to be one of those silly girls in a love triangle romance novel who couldn’t choose. Not that I was in a love triangle, but I never understood how a girl can’t know whether or not she wants a guy. We can be confused about what is good for us but not about what we truly want.
And I didn’t want Ben. That much I knew.
“Was that Jared you were talking to?” He gestured with his beer to the other side of the fire where Jared laughed with a couple of guys from school.
“Yeah.” I took another sip.
Ben exhaled a chuckle and took a gulp of his beer. “Still not big on giving up information, are you?”
“Oh, it was nothing. I was looking for K.C., and I thought they came together.”
“She gets around, huh?” Ben commented more than asked.
“How do you mean?” I said defensively. K.C. and I had been stressed lately, but she was my best friend.
“Moving from Liam to Jared, and back to Liam. I saw them after your race. They looked pretty close.”
“Two guys means she gets around?” I was actually relieved that she’d moved past Jared, but I didn’t like Ben or anyone else drawing conclusions about her.
Ben gave me a contrite look and changed the subject. Clearly, he was smart enough to know that he shouldn’t go there. “Well, you did great tonight. The school is going to be talking about it for a while. Looks like I scored the jackpot.” Ben hooked an arm around me and led me around the bonfire.
The jackpot? What was that supposed to mean?
Ben and I circulated to different clusters of his friends, in between him running back and forth to the keg. I’d had two sips of my beer and put it down. Despite my best hints to Ben that I needed to be home soon, he was on his fourth beer, and I knew he wasn’t going to be able to drive. I was starting to wonder how I’d be getting home.
I’d spotted K.C. and Liam a half an hour ago, sitting on a boulder talking. Or rather, Liam talked while K.C. listened and cried a little. Their conversation looked intense and important by the way their heads were together, so I’d opted to leave them alone.
While I tried to ignore the vibe of Jared’s presence, I found myself unable to keep from looking for him. I’d seen him chatting with his friends, and the last time I looked, Piper had her face buried in his neck. She looked trashy in her short, tight black dress and heels. Who wore heals to the beach? Not even a real beach, either, but a rocky and muddy lakeshore.
To my delight, he looked about as interested in her as he would a plate of parsnips. I stole enough glances to see him try to throw her off a few times. She finally took the hint and stalked off in a pout.
Jared caught my eyes more than once, but I broke contact immediately every time. The images of the other night mixed with his penetrating, smoky stare created a throbbing need deep inside of me.
I let out a rough sigh. It’s definitely time to get out of here.
Glancing at my watch, I met Ben on his way back from the keg. “Hey, I really need to go now. I have that race tomorrow,” I reminded him.
Ben’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Oh, come on. It’s only eleven-thirty.”
The whining was a shock, and I was definitely turned off.
“We can stay for a little while longer,” he said.
“Sorry, Ben. That’s why I offered to drive myself instead. I really do have to go.” With my best apologetic smile, I stood my ground. I wasn’t afraid of what he thought, because I knew that this was probably our last date. The spark wasn’t there, and aside from the racing, I would’ve been happier staying at home with a book tonight.
“Let’s just stay for another half an hour.” He tried shoving his beer at me as if getting me drunk was the answer, but he ended up swaying to the side and had to latch onto my arm for support.
“You’re not okay to drive,” I pointed out. “I can drop you at home, and you can pick up your car at my house tomorrow.”
“No, no.” Ben held up his hands. “I’ll cut myself off now and sober up. We’ll be on our way soon.”
“Well, you shouldn’t drive. Not at all.” I averted my eyes, my aggravation building
“I can take care of myself, Tate,” Ben asserted. “If you want to leave now, then you’ll have to find another ride. If you want to leave with me, I’ll be ready in a while.”
What?! How long is “a while?”
This was getting ridiculous, and my patience was spent. He’d said we could leave by 11:30, and I’d taken him at his word.
Ben pulled at my arm to lead me back to the bonfire, but I yanked it free and stalked away. He didn’t say another word, so I assumed he kept going without me.
I needed to get home, and Ben was no longer my ride. Was this the scene I’d been itching to be a part of? Ben and his friends were about as interesting as cornflakes, the girls had no other interests beside shopping and makeup, and the guys here gave me the urge to sanitize my eyeballs after seeing the way they looked at me.
After a quick sweep of the area, I ascertained that K.C. was already gone. I dug my phone out of my purse and dialed her anyway. No answer.
Looking around for the cross-country teammate I’d spotted earlier, I noticed that she, too, was nowhere in sight. The only other option was to call my grandma, who I dreaded waking up at this hour, but she’d at least be happy to know I’d called for a safe ride.
I twisted my lips up in disappointment when my Grandma didn’t answer her phone, either. That wasn’t unusual, since she often forgot to take her phone to bed. And thanks to the convenience of cell phones, we’d disconnected our hard line years ago.
Awesome.
My only options at this point were to wait for Ben and convince him to let me drive or hike it to the parking lot and ask someone I knew for a ride.
Ben could go piss up a tree.
I trekked over the rocks and into the woods for the short traipse to the clearing near the road where everyone parked.
With no flashlight available, I used my cell phone screen as a light to guide my way. It was a straight shot, but the path was littered with sticks and stumps. Trees had already begun losing their leaves, but the rain we’d received this fall kept everything moist and pliable. Droplets splattered my ankles as I stomped on wet foliage, and a few bare branches poked at my skin, stinging me.
“Well, look what I found.”
I jumped, startled out of the quiet that had just surrounded me. Looking up, I cringed at the sight of Nate Deitrich…who was eye-fucking me as usual.
It looked like he was coming from where I was trying to go, and now he blocked my way. “It’s fate, Tate.” His sing-song voice rhymed.
“Get out of my way, Nate.” I approached him slowly, but he didn’t budge. I tried to go around him, but his hands shot out to grab my waist, and he pulled me to him. My muscles tightened, and my hands curled into fists.
“Shh,” Nate implored as I tried to push myself away. His breathing echoed in my ear, and he reeked of alcohol. “Tate, I’ve wanted you for so long. You know that. How about you put me out of my misery, and let me to take you home?” His nose was in my hair, and his hands dropped to my ass. I stiffened.
“Stop it,” I ordered and tried to bring my knee up between his legs. But it seemed he already anticipated that move, because his legs were too close together.
Nate shook with laughter. Kneading my ass, he whispered, “Oh, I know you’re tricks, Tate. Stop fighting it. I could take you on the ground right now if I wanted to.”
His lips crushed down on mine, and the acidic taste of vomit rose in my throat.
I bit down on his bottom lip, hard enough for my bottom teeth to feel my top teeth through the skin. He growled and released me, pawing at his mouth to check for blood.
Grabbing the pepper spray out of my purse that my dad insisted I keep there, I shot for his eyes. He screamed and stumbled backwards as his hands covered his face. I finally brought my knee up between his legs, and watched him crumple to the ground, grabbing the strap of my tank top as he fell.
Run! Just run! I screamed to myself.
But no. I leaned over him as he let out wails of pain. “Why are the guys at our school such dicks?!”
One hand covering his eyes and the other hand clutching his crotch.
“Shit! You fucking bitch!” Nate groaned as he tried to open his eyes.
“Tatum!” Jared’s voice boomed behind me, and my shoulders jerked before spinning around. Eyes furiously jetting between Nate and me, Jared looked as rigid as a lion before the pounce. He let out shallow breathes between his lips, and his hands were tight fists. I saw his eyes dart to my shoulder where the strap of my top lay flopped forward where it had ripped.
“Did he hurt you?” Jared asked evenly, but his lips were tight, and his eyes were murderous.
“He tried.” I covered my shoulder where my skin was exposed. “I’m fine.” My voice was curt. The last thing I wanted tonight was to play the damsel in distress for Jared.
Peeling off his black button up, Jared tossed it to me as he headed my way. “Put this on. Now.”
Catching the shirt as it hit me in the face, part of me wanted to throw it right back at him. Although Jared and I had found common ground during the race, it didn’t mean that I wanted or needed his help.
However, I was exposed, cold, and in no mood to draw attention to myself. Slipping on the shirt, the heat from Jared’s body warmed my arms and chest. The cuffs fell below my hands, and when I brought them up to let the warmth cover my cold cheeks, I could smell his man scent. The hybrid musk and tire smell almost made my lungs burst as I tried to take deeper breaths of the aroma.
“You have a poor, fucking memory, Dietrich. What did I tell you?” Jared bent down to growl in Nate’s face. He grabbed a handful of Nate’s shirt at his chest and hauled him upright before delivering a strong blow to Nate’s stomach.
My eyes damn-near bulged at Jared’s attack. The guttural punch reminded me of molding clay. Nate’s figure bent with the hit, and he wouldn’t be the same for a while. His wheezing, as he tried to catch his breath, sounded like a cross between a smoker and a zombie’s gurgling.
Jared used his left hand to clamp Nate around the neck as he backed him up to a tree. With his right fist he delivered blow after blow to Nate’s face. My knees started to cave as I watched Jared squeeze Nate’s neck until his knuckles were white.
Stop, Jared.
He kept punching until blood dripped from Nate’s eye and nose.
When he didn’t show any signs of stopping, I stepped forward. “Stop. Jared, stop!” I called out, my firm voice carrying over Nate’s grunts and gasps.
Jared ceased his assault but immediately yanked Nate by the crook of his elbow and threw him to the ground. “This isn’t over,” he assured the bloodied, crumpled mess on the ground.
What was he doing?
Turning to face me, Jared’s chest rose and fell heavily with his breathing. The exertion made his body seem weighed down as his shoulders slumped, but his eyes were still vicious. He looked at me with a mixture of weariness and fury.
“I’m taking you home.” He turned to walk for the lot, not even seeing if I’d follow.
Take me home?! Yeah, so he could feel like the big hero?
Letting Jared feel like he’d dug me out of a situation I had control of cut my pride. Screw that.
“No thanks. I have a ride,” I spit out the lie before I let him do me any favors.
“Your ride,” Jared turned to look at me with disgust, “is drunk. Now, unless you’d like to wake up your poor grandmother to come out into the middle of nowhere to get you after your date gets drunk, and you almost get raped—which I’m sure will do wonders for your father trusting you to be alone, by the way—then you’ll get in the goddamn car, Tate.”
And he turned to walk away, knowing I’d follow him.
