IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE ME. THIS ISN’T THE WAY IT was supposed to go down.
Ashlin is clapping. She doesn’t look disappointed, probably because she never ever thought she’d actually win. Rennie’s standing next to her, with this empty look on her face, this sad, empty look. Nadia rushes up to the edge of the stage, and she jumps up and down cheering for me and screaming my name. I reach up and touch the tiara on my head with a shaky hand.
Out of nowhere Reeve grabs me and lifts me into the air and spins me around like we’re ice-skaters. I shove him away from me and scream at him to put me down, but everyone is clapping and shouting so loudly, I don’t think he even hears me.
The rest of homecoming court comes down from the stage, Rennie last, and I’m left alone up here with Reeve. I search for Kat or Mary in the crowd, to try to find out what in the world is going on right now, but then someone dims the lights and the music starts. A slow song.
Reeve pulls me tight to him. I try to push him away, to create some space between us, but he just holds on tighter. I look up at him, and his pupils are completely dilated and he’s sweating. He says, “I voted for you.”
I think I heard him wrong, because he doesn’t sound like himself. His voice is far away and dreamy.
“Why are you so mean to me, Cho?”
“I’m not,” I say.
He reaches out and touches my hair, and I jerk my head away from his hand. “Your hair is so soft. Like, really, really soft. Shit. I don’t think I’m allowed to say that.”
Reeve spins me around so I’m facing the crowd again, and I spot Alex watching us from down below. His jaw is set, his eyes fixed on us.
Reeve keeps swaying me round and round in a circle, faster and faster. I finally see Mary, standing in the crowd. She’s biting her lip, her arms wrapped around herself.
“My heart’s beating so fast,” Reeve says, breathing hard. The lightness is gone from his voice, replaced by something lower and more labored, even though he’s smiling.
His heart is beating fast, so fast I can almost hear it. Feel it through his suit jacket.
I draw back. Reeve’s eyes are watery and unfocused. He’s scaring me. I don’t think he even knows where he is, much less who he’s with. He’s holding me so tightly, it’s hard to breathe. I feel light-headed. I’m going to faint, for real this time.
“You’re blurry,” Reeve mumbles, touching my face blindly.
“Reeve,” I say. “Stop.”
“Before . . . you asked about me and Ren. Now I want to ask you something. What about you and Lindy? What are you guys?”
“We’re friends,” I tell him and force a swallow. “That’s it.”
I expect him to say something cruel, the way he usually does when it comes to me and Alex. But it’s different this time. This time he lifts my chin, his fingers trembling. And he kisses me. His mouth is open and wet and warm. I try to push him away, but his hand is on the back of my neck pressing me toward him.
All I can think about is Rennie.
She’s going to kill me.
With all my might I push Reeve off me. He staggers backward a few steps, totally off balance, and I’m afraid he might fall over the edge. The DJ lowers the volume of the song, and everyone down on the gym floor goes silent. Reeve shakes his head, as if he’s trying to get a hold of himself. He starts walking toward me again, but his arms and legs don’t seem to be listening to his brain. “Oh, no,” he moans. He turns and gazes into the crowd, like he’s looking for somebody, and inches his way to the edge of the stage. “Sorry,” he says, shielding his eyes from the spotlight. “I’m sorry, Alex.”
Suddenly Reeve’s whole body tenses up. The color drains from his face. He whispers something.
“Big Easy.”
