After a tense dinner, I tried to talk to Aurora alone, which proved difficult, with Fabiano and Dad watching us like hawks. But she had been nervous all through dinner, and someone would catch on if she kept it up.
Eventually, Massimo, Alessio, Aurora, and I headed for the garden, and I used my chance to corner Rory. “You need to stop acting suspicious,” I murmured.
She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t like lying to everyone. I’m stacking up lies for you, and I hate it. Not to mention that Carlotta is angry with me because she has to babysit your kid now too. This house of lies will collapse on us.”
“Not if we’re careful.”
She shook her head with a sigh. “Everyone’s going to be angry when they find out because we lied to them.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I’ll figure it out.”
“What are you two talking about?” Alessio asked from where he and Massimo chilled on the couch. He couldn’t have overheard anything. “Maybe Nevio’s desire is to fly to Italy to play war for the Camorra there?”
I sent him a scowl. Asshole. Aurora’s shocked gaze slammed into me. “What?”
“He’s full of shit.”
“Is he?” she muttered.
“Dad suggested I could go there to let off some steam, but I never agreed.”
“You can’t agree because you have a fucking son to take care of!”
It was the first time I heard Rory curse like that.
“If you leave me here with him, without telling your family about him, you’re dead to me.”
“And if I told them and then left, would you be happy to be free of me?”
Aurora swallowed and looked away. “You have to tell them. Take responsibility.”
She turned on her heel and walked toward the house. “I should return to the apartment. I don’t want to leave Carlotta alone with this.”
I headed over to Alessio and Massimo.
“If you leave for Italy, Aurora will move on. She’ll find someone new, and if she’s clever, it’ll be someone from the Camorra.”
Dad wouldn’t allow me to kill one of our men because of this. It would set a bad example, especially since Rory wasn’t mine officially. She was absolutely mine in my head, but I had never claimed her as mine in any way that would make our circles take notice. We were friends, full stop.
Massimo shook his head. “You should not even consider it. Killing that barista was stupid but not really relevant in the great scheme of things, but attacking someone from the Camorra’s racing crew was even stupider, but still not causing any major ripples. But if you start killing off our own men, that won’t go unnoticed. Our soldiers will demand an explanation, and I fear you won’t have one that’s acceptable for anyone without your erratic disposition. So if you leave, you must accept that Rory might move on with someone from our world, and you’d be unable to do anything against it.”
I didn’t say anything because Massimo wouldn’t have liked my answer. Maybe he knew it too because his eyes were full of warning.
The following day, Massimo, Alessio, and I had to visit two of our less productive drug labs to increase their motivation.
After finishing our jobs around eight in the evening, I decided to grab dinner and head for Aurora. “Where are you going?” Massimo asked when I dropped him and Alessio off at the mansion but didn’t get out myself.
“To Aurora, where else?” Alessio said.
It would be futile to deny it as I’d be caught on camera anyway. “Just bringing them dinner and making sure they’re safe.”
“We could come along,” Massimo said.
“You’ve been attached to my hip all day. I need some me time away from you fuckers.”
“Sure, that’s what it’s about.” Alessio rolled his eyes, then he gave a shrug and lit up a cigarette. “Not that I have any interest to go there. Mom made lasagna, so I’m going to stuff my face, then chill in my room.”
“When I asked Carlotta if I should come over to make sure everything’s okay, she told me she and Aurora didn’t need any help. So why do they need you?”
“Jealous?” I asked with a laugh. Massimo wasn’t the jealous type, but he’d never had something he was invested in. Lotta seemed to have gotten under his skin in a way I hadn’t thought possible.
“Carlotta disapproves of your action and dislikes your personality, so no.”
“Thanks for the heads-up. I’m not going there for Lotti. I have things to discuss with Rory.” I threw my door shut and reversed out of our driveway. Massimo, Alessio, and I had never had secrets. I didn’t enjoy deceiving them, but I had no choice right now.
After picking up Asian takeout, I went over to Aurora’s apartment. I thought she expected me to visit daily, so I was dumbfounded to see her angry face as she opened the door for me. Her hair was disheveled as if she hadn’t found time to brush it yet. She still looked gorgeous. She was in sweat shorts and a white tank. To my disappointment, she had on a white sports bra underneath.
I raised the bag with Chinese takeout. “I bring dinner.”
If looks could kill, I’d be ashes.
“It’s nine o’clock,” she said pointedly.
“Won’t you let me in?” I asked when she made no move to open the door farther.
She released a sigh and stepped back so I could walk in.
“Did you tell him it’s nine o’clock?” Carlotta shouted from somewhere in the apartment. Her voice sounded as welcoming as Aurora’s face looked.
I wasn’t sure what their problem with nine o’clock was. Maybe it was girl code for something I wasn’t aware of.
I headed into the kitchen, turned on the light, and set the bag on the table. Aurora didn’t follow me, so I returned to the hallway, and when I didn’t find here there either, I went to her bedroom. She was inside and lifting Battista out of his crib. He was crying softly, not the full-blast screeching some babies were masters at.
“We already ate dinner,” Aurora said when she turned to me with him on her hip. “I was trying to get him to sleep when you rang the bell and woke him from his almost slumber, ruining forty minutes of my singing and rocking efforts.”
“Maybe you should give him a Valium.”
Aurora glared and stomped past me. “Very funny. In case you don’t know, dinnertime with a baby isn’t nine o’clock. We ate at seven, and since then, I’ve been busy getting him ready for bed. He’s been fussy all day. I think he’s teething. But of course you wouldn’t know any of this since you haven’t asked about him since you visited us for breakfast yesterday morning.”
“We saw each other last night. I’m sure you would have told me if something was the matter with him.”
“You should ask about him. He’s your son. Even now, I don’t think you’re here because you want to see him.”
She was right. I was here because I wanted to see Rory. “I’m here. That’s what counts.”
She shook her head, rocking him, but he looked wide awake as he stared at me. “You promised you would try to take responsibility. But I don’t see that.”
“What do you want?”
“I have to start working in two days, and my first shift begins at six in the morning. Carlotta has courses, so I can’t ask her to watch him.”
“I’ll sleep over tomorrow, then I can watch him for you,” I said, even if I doubted it was a good idea. I’d never had a calming effect on kids, and it seemed to extend to my own son too.
Aurora nodded slowly, but she didn’t seem too happy about that either.
“I’m heading to bed now. I have to get up early,” Carlotta said from the doorway to the kitchen. She was in a fluffy bathrobe.
“Sleep tight,” Aurora said with a tight smile. After a scathing look at me, Carlotta left.
“She’s pissed at you.”
“I wouldn’t have guessed,” I said dryly.
“Do you want to hold him a bit? Maybe he’ll fall asleep in your arms.”
I stared at the kid who looked perfectly comfortable pressed to Aurora’s breasts. I would have been too. “If you want him to have nightmares, sure.” I glanced down at my black tee. “I can’t promise that there isn’t blood on my shirt.”
Aurora pressed out air. “Fine. Then don’t. I’m heading to my room to get him to sleep. You know where the front door is.”
“Rory!”
She stalked away, turned off the light in the kitchen, and locked herself in her bedroom.
I sank down at the kitchen table and unpacked the takeout boxes. I opened the first box, chow mein, and started eating it with the plastic chopsticks in the dim light streaming through the window.
I still heard Battista’s cries for a while, but then silence fell over the apartment. A few minutes later, a lock turned, and soft footfalls sounded.
“I told you to leave,” Aurora murmured as she settled on the chair across from me.
“You said I know where the front door is.”
“Do you have General Tso chicken?” she asked. Even in the dim light, I could tell how exhausted she looked.
“I do.” I pushed one of the boxes and chopsticks over to her. “I know it’s your favorite.”
She nodded and silently began to eat with a plastic spoon that had also been inside the bag.
“There are sticks and even a fork inside. Spoon-feeding the kid seems to have rubbed off on you.”
She pushed another spoonful of chicken into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully as she regarded me. Since our messed-up night at the party, her demeanor toward me had changed. She could look at me without blushing or making a fool of herself. She twisted the spoon around and, after swallowing, said, “I don’t trust myself with pointy objects around you tonight. I’ve fantasized about stabbing you with chopsticks while I lie beside Battista in the dark.”
I grinned. “You could kill me with a spoon too.”
“Have you ever killed someone with a spoon?”
I leaned back in the chair. “Not yet. I never thought about it. I’ll put it on the list.”
Aurora ate another spoonful of chicken. “I shouldn’t be helping you. You haven’t given me any reason yet to believe you’ll change anytime soon.”
“I told you I’ll watch him tomorrow.”
Aurora got up and grabbed a glass of water. She leaned against the kitchen counter with a look of worry. “He’s your son. Watching him once won’t suffice. Sometimes I wonder if you’re just not telling anyone, so you can bind me to you. I can’t avoid you as long as I’m taking care of your son.”
I pushed to my feet and walked over to her. She tensed but didn’t otherwise move. “I told you before that you’re in my head, and there’s no escaping from there. With or without Battista, I’d make it very hard for you to avoid me.”
“I can’t even put into words how furious you make me,” she whispered as I stopped right in front of her.
I cupped her cheeks and pushed my fingers into her hair as I gazed down upon her. “I can see the fury in your eyes, and it’s fucking sexy.”
She slammed the glass down on the counter and gripped my forearms, but she didn’t push me away. “I don’t like the person I become around you. I don’t want to be her. I don’t want to be consumed by anger.”
“Then allow yourself to be consumed by lust.”
She glared up at me. The battle was clear in her eyes. I slammed by lips down on hers before reason won over. I kissed her like I’d wanted to do for a while, like I’d dreamed about. I stole her breath, ravaged her mouth, my fingers in her hair keeping her in my control. Her nails dug into my forearms as if she was about to shove me away, but her lips moved against mine, her tongue as eager as mine. Even her body was torn by differing emotions.
I dropped my hands from her silky strands, grabbed her by the hips, and lifted her up on the counter, without ever stopping our kiss. The moment I broke our connection, I’d lose her, I could tell. Aurora pushed her palms up against my chest in a slight resistance, but it wasn’t convincing.
I pressed into her, my body coming alive with a hunger I was wholly unfamiliar with when it came to anything but killing.
Aurora ripped away from our kiss and leaned back on her arms to put more distance between us. “Go away,” she breathed out. The fire in her eyes only kindled my own.
She shoved my chest. “Go away. I’m so mad at you and at myself.”
I stepped back, even if it was the last thing I wanted. “Why are you fighting this?”
“Because I won’t be your babysitter with benefits or whatever it is you have in mind for me.”
“I wouldn’t be the only one reaping benefits, trust me,” I said with a smirk. Provoking Rory, when her reactions were so very entertaining and seductive, was impossible to stop.
Something in her eyes snapped, her expression bursting with rage but also despair. “What is it you want, Nevio? Do you want to fuck me a second time? Will you lose interest, then? Then fuck me. I’m here, have your way with me. I lay crying beneath you once. I can do it again!”
Aurora
My chest heaved, and my throat felt raw from the words that had ripped from it.
Nevio’s eyes burned with an emotion I couldn’t read. He jerked me against him, shoved my shorts and panties aside, and slid his index finger over my pussy, finding me still wet from our making out. My body sprang to life at the contact even as my brain shouted warnings and expletives at me.
“You wouldn’t cry this time, except from coming so hard. You’d be begging me for more.”
I gripped his wrist. Part of me wanted to keep him there and make good on his words, but the other remembered last time and what came after, remembered the last few months of his stalking, his brutality to make sure nobody got close to me, and now his irresponsibility when it came to his son.
I pushed his hand away, but he resisted. His gaze hit me, a dare, a provocation.
“I don’t want your touch.”
He smirked.
“If you don’t accept my boundaries, then whatever’s left of our friendship is dead.”
He lowered his hand and stepped back. “I thought our friendship died the night I took your innocence.” The way he said innocence as if I didn’t understand the first thing about it stirred up my fury.
It’s what I told him. And I thought it was true back then, but then he called me to help him with his son, and somehow this made me feel special, as if I were his confidant, when I was probably the only person stupid enough to say yes to his plea for help. “I helped you with Battista. If our friendship were dead, I wouldn’t have done it, right?”
Nevio smiled in the strangest way. “You’re a kind person. You always help people if you can. I thought you helped me for Battista’s sake.”
“For his and yours.”
“Is it so bad that I want you, Rory? I thought that’s what you wanted all along.”
“You want my body. You want to chase the next high, no matter the price. I want more. I don’t want a mad ride that never ends. I want trust, steadiness, commitment.” I shook my head at the look on Nevio’s face as if he could not grasp what I meant. I glanced at the kitchen clock. 11:00 p.m. It wouldn’t be long before Battista would wake for his bottle. “I need to sleep.”
Nevio didn’t stop me when I jumped down from the counter and walked past him. My body yearned for his touch, willing to take what he could give even if it would never sate my heart and soul. “Don’t come tomorrow if you intend to touch me again. Come to be a father for Battista and a friend who honors his promise.”
I didn’t wait for his reply. Without looking back, I went to my room and closed the door. I leaned against it and listened with bated breath. I didn’t dare breathe again until I heard the front door click shut and the lock being engaged through the code panel outside.
This arrangement couldn’t go on forever, not like this. Nevio would use every chance he got to touch me, to seduce me, because I promised to be a high he needed. Once he had me, he’d chase the next one.
Maybe that was the trick. I just needed to let him have me, and remember it, so he could move on.
