I open the door to Ash’s place, impressed with the job the cleaners have done given the early hour. Only the best for the Black Knights.
I’m not surprised to see Ash already up, making coffee at the island bar that I’m sure was filled with alcohol last night. If he gets more than a couple of hours of sleep a night, it’s a miracle.
“Fun birthday party?” I ask, noticing that his shoulders are slightly looser than usual.
“It was…memorable,” he says, his forehead creasing slightly as he pours himself an espresso. He indicates to me wordlessly asking if I’d like one. I shake my head at his offer.
“Memorable good?” I query, unable to help prying and wondering if this has anything to do with the beautiful English girl who’s now in our lives.
“Hrumph,” he responds, not looking at me, but a slight pink tinging his cheeks. Interesting. “How was your night? Did everything go to plan?” he questions back, finally looking up at me. This is part of the reason that I love my brothers by choice. He doesn’t care that I wasn’t at his birthday party, his eighteenth. He knows that I hate large groups, and so he won’t force me to attend.
I sigh in frustration, taking my glasses off and rubbing my eyes. “I can’t find out any more about Adrian Ramsey,” I tell him, looking towards the stairs to make sure Lilly isn’t coming down to overhear our conversation.
“Don’t worry, she’s tucked up with the boys and we kept her up quite late last night,” he tells me, a slight tilt to his lips. I don’t miss the way he said ‘we’ either.
“Adrian Ramsey is like a fucking ghost.” Ash’s brows raise at the curse falling from my lips. “All the records are there, but nothing else apart from rumors and speculation. It’s like he doesn’t exist in the real world.”
“How so?” he questions, taking a sip of his drink.
“Well, he’s got a birth certificate, driver’s license, all the usual. But, I can’t find anything about his family, or about him having a sister.” I tell him pointedly, and his frown deepens.
We’re both lost in our own thoughts for several minutes. I know Ash hates mysteries. He needs the security of knowing everything that goes on. Controlling bastard.
“Perhaps we need to take a step back from her,” he starts.
His words send my stomach plummeting to my feet, and my pulse racing.
“You think that she can’t be trusted?” I ask him, taking a step closer to lean on the island.
“I don’t fucking know,” he says, his hand running through his jet black hair. There’s a tremor in the movement. “Loki and Jax have already lost their fucking heads, and dicks. What happens if she’s a snake? Another test?” He looks up at me, his eyes pleading with me to give him answers that I don’t have. I do know one thing though.
“She’s not a snake. And she’s not a test from your father either. Her story is solid. And she doesn’t give a shit about our money or status.” My voice is filled with a rare passion. I know that deep in my bones, Lilly is everything that we need, if we can just let her in. And keep her safe. “Remember how your dad was with her? He’s interested in her. He would have ignored her if she was here to test us.”
I can see him mulling over my words, his eyes darting with his thoughts.
“And as for Loki and Jax, they need her, man. We all do,” I say softly, his head snapping up and his gaze zoning into mine. “Loki has been starved of love and affection his whole life, apart from his little sisters. And every one of the girls he’s been with before, they’ve all wanted something from him. His money, his name. Lilly? She just wants his love in return.” I say, interrupting him before he can argue with me about us all needing her.
“And Jax?” he asks, his gaze hard like flint.
“Jax needs her nurturing side. You know his addiction, he needs her to break the cycle his dad got him into. And he needs to see that he can protect her without it.” I can see him agreeing with me, nodding his head once, albeit reluctantly.
“And me?”
“You’ve been hurt by those that are meant to love you most, meant to protect you. You and Lilly share the same pain, you understand each other on a level that none of us do. You need her to shine a light on that darkness inside of you, to break those chains you’ve wrapped so tightly around you. To show you that you are not a monster.” My voice is entreating him to believe me.
His jaw clenches, his fingers clasped tightly around his cup.
“And what about you, Kai?” he lashes out, as he always does when someone hits a nerve. “Or are you above the rest of us fucked up assholes?”
“I need her to feel alive,” I tell him, our gazes locked. His softens slightly, a hand reaching out to me.
“Kai…” he says, his voice broken.
“Why don’t you go and wake her up? Tell her I’m here,” I clear my throat, unable to hold his gaze now that I’ve exposed myself so fully.
I hear him heave a sigh, and as he walks past me, his hand comes out to squeeze my shoulder before letting go and heading up the stairs.
My chest rises and falls with my own deep inhale.
I can’t deny the truth of my words, even if they took me by surprise. Lilly makes me feel more alive than I’ve felt in a long time. She has breathed life into me, waking me up as if from a deep slumber.
And I need her breath, like a dying man needs the kiss of life.
LILLY
I wake up with two hot bodies pressed close on either side of me. Memories of the night before flash across my vision, making my toes curl and my breath quicken.
I can’t believe that happened!
I squirm with delight, only to get growled at in stereo. I can’t help but giggle out loud. I feel so happy. Full of joy, and for a moment, completely free of everything that happened earlier in the year. Before morbid thoughts can overtake my peace, I get double poked with morning wood by the arseholes on either side of me.
“If you’re gonna squirm all up on my wood,” Jax growls out, his voice is so deep this morning Her Vagisty starts panting, “then you’ll have to deal with him,” he says as he slowly grinds his hard dick up against my inner thigh. I shiver at the contact and feel the wetness of precum smear across my leg.
“Couldn’t have said it better myself, brother,” Loki drawls from behind me, his voice husky and delicious too. “Never too early for a bit of DP in my opinion.”
“Loki!” I admonish, which turns into a groan as his hands begin to wander over my stomach.
Just then, the door crashes open, hitting the wall, and I squeal and sit upright. The guys leap up, hard dicks bobbing. I look up to see Ash framed in the doorway, wearing his familiar slacks, in soft grey today, and white shirt, no tie. Must be the weekend, I snort to myself.
“Kai’s here.” The familiar bored tone of Ash’s voice travels over to me and pisses me off instantly.
His steel grey gaze meets mine, full of arrogant insolence, a perfect jet black brow raised. I don’t miss the sudden flare of lust as his eyes dart down, then back up again. I look down and realise that, of fucking course, I didn’t cover myself and am naked and exposed from the waist up. Nothing he hasn’t seen before I guess. With that, he turns on his heels and leaves, saying nothing of the fact we are all naked in the same bed.
“Fucking asshole,” Jax grumbles, heading in the direction of the bathroom.
Loki begins to say something, and it’s only then I remember that I’m meant to be going on a hike with Kai today. I scramble out of bed and rush after Ash, heading down the stairs. I see Kai leaning against the makeshift bar, talking to Ash, his eyes going wide when he spots me.
“Kai! I’m so sorry! I completely forgot about our hike!” I gasp out, noticing his face getting redder by the minute. “Kai? Are you okay?” I ask, concerned that maybe he’s angry with me about forgetting.
It’s then that Ash turns round, his own steel eyes widening, and suddenly, the penny drops.
“I’m still naked, aren’t I?” I cringe, tipping my head back as my whole body flushes with embarrassed heat.
“As the day you were born, Pretty Girl,” Loki chuckles out, slapping my arse hard as he walks past.
“What the fuck was that for?” I glare at him, rubbing my buttcheek.
“Kai likes a little pain, don’t you, Kai?” Loki innocently asks. “Or more specifically, likes to give a little pain,” Loki finishes with a wink.
My head whips to Kai whose face is crimson, his mouth hanging open, completely lost for words. To be fair, I’m also speechless, not knowing whether to be turned on or embarrassed anymore.
Kai seems to find his voice and walks over to me. With his eyes on the ground, he holds out a black holdall to me.
“I–I brought over some of your clothes and things. I thought we could go from here,” he says, finally meeting my gaze with his honey brown one. His wonderful, fresh woodsy scent surrounds me as he hands me the bag.
“Thanks,” I smile. “I’ll be ready in two shakes of a lamb’s tail!” I call as I turn and head back up the stairs, feeling three sets of eyes following my movements.
Twenty minutes later, I’m coming back down the stairs, washed and ready to go. Kai packed my most sensible clothes; high-waisted nineteen-fifties style slim leg blue jeans, long-sleeved red striped top, tucked in at the waist obviously, and a soft as butter red cashmere jumper. Seems he likes the vintage look, I muse. He’s also brought my brown leather utility style boots, the most like walking boots-type shoes that I own.
I wonder if I should be pissed that he went through my stuff…it seems that the dominant behaviour of the others is definitely turning me submissive because I find, with some surprise, that I don’t mind.
He looks up from where he’s sitting on the sofa, I think it’s the one that we…. At least it’s been neatly folded away, although surely it needs cleaning after last night’s activities? A shudder runs through me at the thought of some poor cleaner having to deal with that clean up. It’s then that I look round and realise that the whole place is spotless. You wouldn’t be able to tell that a party took place last night.
He stands up as I approach, honey brown eyes roving my body, heat entering his gaze.
“You look lovely, Lilly,” he says in that soft melodic voice of his. “We won’t be going over any rough terrain so your boots should be fine,” he assures me, handing me a lightweight crimson waterproof jacket that still has tags on it.
“What’s this?” I ask, looking at the cherry red jacket in my hands.
“Uh, I saw you didn’t have one, so I got it for you,” he says shyly, flushing pink once more and rubbing the back of his neck.
“Really? That’s so kind, Kai! Thank you.” I lean over and kiss his cheek, making him go even redder. I pull the tags off and slip the jacket on. It’s a perfect fit and doesn’t look too bad either.
“Ready?” he asks, clearing his throat.
“Yep,” I say, popping the p. I smell the sweet lemon scent of Jax before huge arms go round me from behind, and he nuzzles my hair.
“See you later, Baby Girl,” he rumbles in my ear, and I shiver. “Stay safe, and don’t go off the path,” he adds, looking up to Kai, who just rolls his eyes as if he’s not being stared down by a giant.
“Hey, big guy! Quit hogging our girl!” Loki says, bounding up to me, and literally snatching me out of Jax’s arms, making Jax growl.
Hang on, our girl? They really are happy to share me? My thoughts are still whirring as Loki’s lips descend on mine, kissing me soundly and leaving me breathless.
“Laters, babe,” he says teasingly, giving me his usual grin and a wink.
“Uh…bye,” I manage to stumble out, looking round and catching Ash’s serious grey gaze. Does he ever lighten up? He just nods then turns away, dismissing us. Wankstain.
Kai opens the front door on a beautiful, sunny autumn day. The trees, now that I can see in the daylight, are a riot of colour. From a deep amber to a brilliant red, and every autumn colour in between. The sky is a gorgeous cloudless blue, and the sun is warm, but not too hot. I take a deep breath of sweet air, marvelling at how I ended up here. After everything that happened, I never dreamt I would feel happy again. Or so at peace. But that’s what I feel here, with the guys, surrounded by all this beauty.
Kai hands me a foil wrapped package that’s still warm. “I made you some breakfast to go,” he tells me, and I open it to find an egg and bacon roll.
“Thanks,” I say, tucking in straight away and moaning my appreciation.
I’m starving! Or Hank Marvin, as Mum used to say, which is cockney rhyming slang for starving. A familiar pang hits me at yet another thing about her that will live in my memory. But it doesn’t overwhelm me as it would have done a few weeks ago.
Kai leads me into the trees, taking a path that is small, but well worn.
“Do you walk here often?” I ask, loving the crunch of leaves under our boots.
“Every chance I get,” he replies. “I love the outdoors. I feel so…free here. Like there is nothing I can’t do, and no weight dragging me down.”
His solemnly cryptic answer makes me pause, looking at him. He’s so reserved, and I know next to nothing about him. About any of them, really. The thought makes me frown. Given how intimate we’ve been, I ought to know more about them. And they me.
“I find the same sense of peace here,” I reply, filing away the urge to find out more about him. “I didn’t think I would ever feel that way again. But I do here.”
“Is that because of what happened with your mom?” Kai asks me softly. We’re side by side, but I come to a halt, feeling suddenly cold, like I’ve been dunked in ice cold water.
He stops and turns back, a pain so stark in his honey eyes I gasp. It’s the same pain as mine, the one I see in the mirror when I can’t sleep. When the nightmares and the images of drowning in blood keep me awake.
“My parents died in a car crash when I was young,” he begins, still holding my gaze. “I, like you, went to live with my uncle. I thought I’d never smile again, never laugh or dream. But I had the guys, and soon I was able to do all those things and not feel guilty doing them.”
He reaches for my hand with such understanding in his gaze that I feel a tear slip down my cheek. His hand changes course, fingertips brushing the tear away.
“It’ll get easier. Promise,” he says with a sad smile. “And I’m always here if you need to talk,” he adds as his hand captures mine. He gives a gentle squeeze, then we start walking again, hand in hand.
We walk all morning and stop by a beautiful lake for a break at about midday.
Kai takes off his backpack, dropping it by his feet, and proceeds to empty it. He pulls out a picnic blanket and an array of foil or paper wrapped packages. There’s even a couple of plastic Tupperware dishes.
“I did a bit of everything,” he says as he begins to unwrap them. There’s a whole load of food, from golden fried chicken legs to a selection of deli meats and creamy coleslaw. There’s even what looks like yellow cornbread, and the fudgiest brownies I’ve ever seen.
“Kai, this looks amazing!” I say, my mouth is already salivating just looking at all the delicious food. We sit down and tuck in, me moaning out loud much to Kai’s amusement.
By the time we’ve finished, I’m absolutely stuffed, and definitely need a little rest before we start to head back. I lie down on my back, groaning.
“That was fucking awesome, Kai,” I say, closing my eyes and feeling the warm sun on my face. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, Lilly,” he says softly. “It’s nice to have some company for a change.”
I crack one eye to see him leaning on one elbow, smiling down at me, his brown hair sticking up all over the place, as usual. He’s haloed by the sunlight, and his beauty takes my breath away. These guys, they’re all so beautiful, yet so unique. Kai with his hot nerdy vibes, Loki with his fallen angel looks, Jax with his gruff Viking feel, and even Ash and his cold, yet stunning beauty. No wonder they are the rulers, the Knights, of Highgate Prep.
“Tell me more about you and the guys. What were you like as kids?” I ask him, suddenly desperate to know more.
“Well, our parents all grew up together, and now own a joint business, so we’ve basically been friends forever,” he starts with a grin. “We used to get up to all sorts of mischief, especially Loki, he used to lead us into so much trouble.” He laughs outright then, and it’s a beautiful, joyous sound. “One time, he got us to rig up all the toys in his sisters’ room so that when they opened the door, they all flew off the shelves and landed on them. Only, it wasn’t his sisters that opened the door, but their nanny Martha! I’ve never run so fast in my life as I did that day, running away from her screaming at us, threatening all kinds of punishment.” He chuckles, eyes alight with remembered mirth.
I giggle with him, imagining them all tormenting poor Martha, unsurprised that Loki was the mischievous one.
“Ash managed to sweet talk her out of it, as usual, he was always the peacemaker,” he muses. “Still is, I guess.” I frown a little, Ash the fucktrumpet a sweet talker?
He tells me other stories, like the time when they were all thirteen, and Loki convinced them to drink a bottle of vodka he’d stolen from his parents, who were never there so wouldn’t have noticed. According to Kai, they were so sick that none of them have been able to touch the drink since.
Or the time when they were fourteen, Ash decided to run away and become a concert pianist. According to Kai, Ash was an extraordinary piano player. His music was apparently so full of emotion that you were swept away and transformed into someone new. Ash the Ice K?
He’d convinced them all to tag along, but they were caught by Mr Vanderbilt, trying to catch the bus and taken promptly home.
His eyes darken then, a haunted look entering into them.
“We didn’t see Ash for weeks, or Luc, Ash’s twin, either. And when we next saw them, well, Ash no longer played piano, and Luc, he had an anguished look in his eyes that I’ll never forget.” His own eyes are full of sadness mixed in with rage, a combination I’ve not seen in them before.
My heart breaks for Ash. What terrible thing happened to not only keep him from his friends, but stop him from doing something he loved? And I’m more than a little intrigued about Luc, Ash’s twin.
Not knowing what to say, I reach out and grasp his hand, interlocking our fingers and squeezing. I hate the sadness, the hopelessness I can see in his eyes. I can’t help feeling there is something more here, and although I feel so comfortable and safe with the guys, I can’t seem to find the words to ask more.
I can’t stand the tormented look in his eyes, and I’m racking my brain for something to take it away when inspiration strikes.
“When I was seven, we had a talent show at school,” I begin, “and I decided to dance like my mum. She danced at Grey’s, a club in London…”
“Wait. Your mom danced at Grey’s? Like the Grey’s? In Soho?” Kai asks, his tone impressed and eyebrows raised.
“Yep. I practically grew up there, watching them all dance. I used to think they were beautiful ballerinas, who, you know, happened to take their clothes off.” I chuckle, the memories flooding back over me. The soft lighting, the sound of the sensual music wrapping round me as the dancers moved with a grace that defied gravity. The memory doesn’t hurt like I expect, and that surprises me.
“Anyway, I stole one of my mum’s costumes, her routine was based on belly dancing, and I remember the beautiful turquoise silk outfit that was the softest thing that I’d ever touched. I hadn’t told her what my talent was, I wanted to surprise her.
“Cue the night of the show, and I darted onto the stage when the music started playing. I’d danced like I’d seen the girls at the club do, like I’d seen my mother do, starting to remove some of the silk scarves that made up the skirt, just as Mum did. She definitely was surprised, that’s for sure!” I tell Kai with a laugh as I remember my mum’s face and that of the other parents as I basically started stripping. Kai joins me, and his laugh is music to my ears.
“Did you get into trouble?” he questions, wiping his eyes.
“Surprisingly, no. Mum and Lexi, who came to watch, just cheered and then took me out for pizza and ice cream afterwards.” I beam at him, and even though my heart twinges at the memory, I’m not crippled by it.
Kai’s eyes soften, his laughter fading away as he looks at me. Reaching out his hand, he cups the side of my face in his palm, stroking my cheek with his thumb.
“Your mum sounds like an extraordinary woman, Lilly,” he murmurs, and tears spring to my eyes. “And she brought you up to be the rarest flower.”
He leans over, his lips brushing mine in the softest of caresses. I moan softly, my hand coming up to tangle in his thick hair and pull him closer, fusing my lips to his. A deep growl escapes his throat, surprising the shit out of me as lets go of the hand he’s holding, grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand away from his hair, pinning it behind me.
The hand that was on my face moves up into my hair, grasping a handful and tugging sharply, angling my head to allow him deeper access. I moan in earnest this time, as he plunders my mouth, holding me immobile as he takes what he wants. It’s not the gentle kiss it started out as. It’s full of possession, fire, and passion and I realise that Loki hasn’t been lying when he’s mentioned Kai’s dominant tendencies.
Abruptly, he releases me, his eyes a little wild and his breathing as hard as my own.
“We should start heading back,” he says, his voice a little gruff. I just nod, my heart racing with the remnants of our kiss.
He starts to pack away the picnic stuff, and I help him gather it all up and put it in his backpack. I can’t miss the bulge in the front of his trousers. Shouldering it, he turns to me.
“I’m really glad you came here, Lilly,” he says, his voice now soft and a blush rising on his cheeks. “I think you’re exactly what we all need.”
He reaches for my hand, looking deep into my eyes, his own honey coloured ones full of hope. Finally, after some soul searching moments, we start to walk back, hand in hand.
