For the next seven days, I stay in our dorm, with at least one of the guys with me at all times. Well, except Ash, who seems to be avoiding me like the plague.
The other three take care of me so tenderly, my heart repairs a little more each day. Kai makes me all my favourite foods, like chicken ramen and triple chocolate brownies, and I get breakfast in bed every morning.
Loki runs me epic bubble baths, often joining me in them, and although we make out, I’m the only one who ever comes.
We’ve not gone further than kissing, or them eating me out like I’m their last meal, since the night of the attack. I want to feel them inside me so badly, to feel that connection, but I just can’t. Any time we’ve tried, I get horrendous flashbacks or start to panic. And they’re so sweet about it, saying it’s all about my pleasure, and taking care of me.
Jax makes it his mission to show me some basic self-defence moves, often ending with me pinning him down, or with my legs wrapped around him. I can feel him getting hard, but like Loki, he keeps it strictly about me and my release.
Some sessions, certain positions cause horrible flashbacks to that night. But Jax helps me through the panic, with soothing words and his comforting embrace, holding me until the tremors subside and my breathing evens out.
Every night, Loki and Jax leave me exhausted in bed with multiple mindless orgasms before falling asleep on either side of me, wrapping me up in their arms. They hold me when I wake up screaming, nightmares now featuring clammy hands, alongside the visions of drowning in a sea of blood.
The bruise on my jaw begins to fade from the deep purple of a plum to a rather sickly yellow, which I suppose is better, as I can now hide it with makeup.
It’s October thirty-first, All Hallows’ Eve, and my first day back to class. I’d told my teachers that I was sick with a stomach bug, not wanting everyone to see the marks that were painted on my face and body.
As I get dressed, I look over to the burgundy dress bag that’s hanging on the front of Loki’s closet. It’s the school Halloween party tonight, which is being held in the ballroom.
I know, right?! What fucking school has a ballroom? Pretentious twats.
I’m not sure what the guys are dressing up as, but I have a killer dress that I bought a while back. I can’t wait to show them and have a night to let my hair down after everything that has happened recently.
I never really bothered with school discos back in England, shite doesn’t even begin to cover how lame they’d been. Apparently, here at Highgate Prep, it’s a different affair, with amazing decorations and entertainment, a themed buffet style banquet, and the rules on alcohol consumption are relaxed.
Money may not be able to buy you happiness, but, apparently, it can enable underage drinking.
I add the finishing touches to my makeup, making sure that every bruise is covered. Luckily, I don’t have PE today, and even though I have chosen Yoga and Pilates as my electives, which I can wear leggings and long-sleeved tops for, I’d still have to get changed in front of the rest of the girls. They’d definitely see the bruises, and I’m not up for Cuntflap Magee, aka Amber, to start shite over them.
I look myself over in the full length mirror, deciding that I’m looking fierce as fuck. I’ve chosen my red tartan Run and Fly dungarees, rolled up at the hem, with a black roll neck sweater underneath. On my feet, I’ve gone for white lace ankle socks, paired with my red snakeskin Irregular Choice heels that have super cute sparkly heels and bows on the toe.
Dark smoky eyes and bright red lips finish off the punky look. Grabbing my leather satchel, I head out of the door and down the stairs to find all of the guys waiting for me.
Loki, of course, wolf whistles before grabbing me around my waist, pulling me towards him, and whispering in my ear.
“Those heels are staying on later, Pretty Girl,” he says, nipping my earlobe, and I flush with heat as I feel my core tingle. I love him that little bit more for keeping the flirty banter up. It’s definitely helping me to heal.
“Are you ready to go?” Ash asks, his voice cold but not unkind.
I start a little, I haven’t heard him say a word since that awful night and I’d almost forgotten his deep beautiful voice, sliding like the finest silk velvet across my skin.
“Yes,” I reply quietly, looking into his tumultuous eyes.
Ash gives me a brisk nod, then opens our door and heads out. Kai looks at me with a smile, then turns to follow him.
I take a deep breath, nervous butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
What if I see Robert?
I shudder at the thought, then a flash of anger runs through me. I’ll not let that cumstain scare me into hiding.
At the very least, I owe him a dick punch. Fucking fucktrumpet.
Squaring my shoulders, I look up to see Jax studying me, a look of pride in his blue gaze.
“No one will fucking touch you,” he promises darkly.
He may not be a knight in shining armour, he’s more like the dragon who protects his princess from the fuckers who try to kidnap her by setting the world alight.
He steps up to me, grabbing the front of my throat just shy of painfully, giving me a searing kiss full of possession and darkness. After looking me in the eyes, his own churning with fierce emotion, he steps away and follows the others.
A flutter of excitement and lust transforms the flying insects into sensuous silk winged creatures, and I must admit that I’m surprised. I’d expected rough handling to scare me or cause a flashback. But it doesn’t. Not with Jax anyway.
Loki slings his arm around my shoulders, pulling my body in tight to his. Even after the time I’ve spent with him, it still feels like a live current is running through me wherever we touch.
“Come on, Pretty Girl,” he says, grim determination in his tone. “Let’s show them you’re not afraid.” And he leads me from the safe haven of our dorm.
Everything goes well until we approach homeroom, where just my fucking luck, standing by the door is Queen Cumdumpster herself and her fawning sycophants. She’s draped all over Robert, stroking him like a fucking cat, as though she’s some kind of Bond villain, and the sight makes bile rise to my throat.
I stiffen under Loki’s arm, but keep moving alongside him and his stride doesn’t pause. Robert has clear nail marks tracked down his cheeks, still red with scabs.
I wonder what he’s told everyone about how he got those? Rogue tiger?
I hear Jax growl in front of us, stepping right up in Robert’s face, harshly whispering something that makes the other boy turn ashen and pale, and shake like a leaf in the breeze. Jax steps away and towards me, wrapping his arm around my waist so that I’m sandwiched in between him and Loki.
“I hope your stomach is feeling better, Lilly?” Amber asks, mock sincerity clear in her voice and a nasty smile pasted on her face.
“Much, thank you, Amber,” I reply, my own voice sweetly scornful. My smile is just as fake.
Dismissing her, I turn back to look at Robert, and for a moment, I’m transported back to that night. His clammy hand on my face, his disgusting dick lining up with my…I blink, and I’m back in the hall again.
“Those scratches look bad. You should probably get something for them. Wouldn’t want them to scar,” I say, proud that my voice doesn’t shake, and not taking my eyes away from his shit coloured ones as I speak. His gaze darts away, like he’s afraid to look at me. Interesting.
Loki roars with laughter beside me.
“Let’s head inside, beautiful,” he says, kissing me on the cheek.
Jax does the same to my other cheek, making it clear to everyone watching that I am once more theirs. I’d be pissed that they’ve basically, well, just pissed all over me, but there’s something so hot about being claimed publicly. Especially in front of those wastes of oxygen.
Amber’s blue eyes narrow, and I see a flare of annoyance flash in her gaze. I wonder if she had anything to do with the other night?
My gaze flits to Ash, who’s just standing there, a dangerous, calculating look in his eyes as he looks at Robert, and then Amber. He’s definitely planning something.
I hope it’s fucking agonising.
Kai is standing next to him, and the look of pure hate on his face is so shocking I almost stumble. This is Kai. I know he likes a little pain in the bedroom, but I’ve never seen him look so much as cross before, let alone murderous like he does now.
Loki gives me a gentle tug, and we head into class, Jax only letting go at the last minute so that we can actually fit through the doorway.
Possessive arsehole. I smile, loving it.
We finish our last class of the day, French with Loki, who spent the entire time telling me, in French, what he plans to do to me later. I only managed to translate a few sentences, but fuck, if they didn’t make me all hot and bothered, flushing red as a tomato.
After class, Loki and I head back to our dorm, and he carries my bag like a true gent. As we open the door, we hear low voices. Ash, Jax, and Kai look up at us from the table. It’s hard to describe the look on their faces. The closest I can come to is that they look like they’re readying for battle, excited yet also somber, angry yet controlled.
“What’s going on?” I hesitantly ask, gazing at them each in turn, and then up to Loki. Whatever it is, he’s in on it. I can see it in his face.
“Loki?” I ask, anxiety rolling through me and I bite my lip, my heart rate speeding up.
“You asked us to make him bleed. To make him hurt so bad that he can’t do what he tried to do to you, to anyone else,” Ash states, getting up and walking towards me.
His grey eyes are boring into mine, and it’s then that it dawns on me. They’re preparing to take vengeance. For me.
I nod, unable to say anything, my throat is dry, and my heart pounding hard in my chest.
“That’s what we will be doing tonight. The question, Princess, is whether you want in?” he challenges, and I hear the others curse and start to argue.
“I want in,” I say softly, not taking my eyes off Ash’s.
“Are you sure, Princess? Once you go down this road, there’s no going back,” he says, voice devoid of any emotion, but his eyes are churning.
It’s not just about my revenge. Or even justice, to stop this happening to anyone else. If I want to be with these guys, truly with them, and accept them for who they are, I need to see who they are. I need to know all of them, the good and bad. The monstrous and angelic.
If that means I have to wash my hands in the blood of our enemies, then so be it.
I also need to make sure they don’t take things too far.
“I’m sure,” I reply, and something like relief flits across his eyes for the briefest of moments as he gives me a single decisive nod.
“Ash, I don’t think…” Kai begins, stepping up next to Ash.
“The decision has been made, Kai,” Ash says simply. Then he turns and walks upstairs.
“Lilly…are you sure?” Kai asks, stepping up to me, his hands coming up either side of my face. “You don’t have to be there. Let us be your monsters.” He’s almost pleading with me.
“Kai…” I say gently, stepping into him and bringing my hands up to rest on his chest. I look at him in those gorgeous honey brown eyes. “I need to do this. I want to do this. If I want to be with you, truly with you, then I need to see who you really are. All sides of you, the beautiful and not so beautiful,” I tell him, willing him to understand.
He stares into my eyes for a beat longer, then sighs, leaning in to rest his forehead to mine, our eyes closed.
“I just don’t want to lose you, Lilly. Not again,” he says softly, and my heart lurches.
I don’t really know what to say to him. If I don’t pass this test, if I can’t handle it, then how can I be with them?
