I finally crawled out of my bed and made it to the other set of double doors that I found leading to a balcony. I was surprised to find they were actually unlocked. It’s nice to have a little freedom, no matter how false it is.
There’s nothing but woods as far as the eye can see. Just as I remember it. I’ve always loved Pennsylvania. I grew up here. I hated the desert, but it was one of those things I had no control over.
Curling my fingers around the iron railing, I look down at the ground below. Good thing I’m not afraid of heights.
The thought of jumping to my death crosses my mind, but I quickly dismiss it. I’ve never been suicidal. I won’t give Saint the satisfaction of thinking I couldn’t live with myself. I did what I did and now I must pay for that decision. Being his prisoner sounds better than being without him.
The sound of my bedroom door opening has me pushing off the rail and rushing back into my room, expecting to see Saint enter. I hate the way my shoulders slump when it’s not him.
“Good evening, miss.”
“Jessie.” I give him a kind smile.
Of course, he’s still here. Just like the Spade brothers, Jessie is tied to this place for life. He still wears his all-black tux and looks just like I remember him. A set of kind eyes I always thought was too soft for this place. He has a few more wrinkles around them than I remember, but at least one thing hasn’t changed. I wonder if he hates his life here since he has to serve. He’s not allowed to marry or have children and has to devote his life to the Spades.
He wheels a cart into my bedroom that has three silver plates with dome lids over the top. “You need to eat,” he says, looking me up and down and frowning. All I wear is an oversized T-shirt that hits mid thigh. “Help with your strength.”
I want to laugh at his choice of words. No amount of strength will win me a fight against Saint.
Bringing the cart to a stop, he removes the lid, and my mouth salivates at my favorite meal, baked pineapple salmon. “You remembered.”
“Of course.” Then surprising me once more, he steps into me and pulls me in for a hug.
My arms come up and wrap around his waist. Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply. A part of me really did miss this place. This was my home until it wasn’t. But isn’t that how life goes? It’s always good until it’s not.
Pulling away, he takes my hand and balls my fingers into a fist. “For the pain,” he whispers, dropping his eyes to my waist before they meet mine again. “It should help you through the night.” With that, he turns and exits my room, closing the door behind him.
I don’t have to open my hand to know that there are two pills in it. He understands how much my body has endured and that I’m not only exhausted but sore.
Plus, the throbbing reminder of the tracker that’s inside me.
Honestly, it’s the least of my worries. Does it hurt? Like a bitch! But Saint knows how I feel about pain. He wants me to have a constant reminder that I’m his. The bastard also knows that I’m a slut for ownership. Carve your name into my neck and show me off. I’ll be a drooling mess for you.
Nothing is sexier than a man who knows what he wants and shows the world he has it.
Picking up the bottle of water he left me, I turn and step out onto the balcony. With my back facing my room, I toss the pills into my mouth and take a greedy sip. I know there are cameras all inside. I’m hoping that there isn’t one out here. I’d hate to get Jessie in trouble. He always was a kind soul. Too good for this hell.
Making my way back into my room, I pick up the plates and set them down on the round glass table that sits by the double doors that lead out to the balcony and eat my food. Jessie wasn’t wrong about the fact that I need to eat. I won’t give the Spade brothers the satisfaction of starving myself.
SAINT
I push open the door to her room to find her lying in the center of the bed. The covers are pulled up to her neck, and she’s hiding herself. The double doors to her balcony are open, and the smell of rain fills the large space as thunder rumbles the walls. Lightning flashes, and my eyes catch the sight of the cart that holds the empty plates. I smile. She ate her food. Good girl. I made sure the kitchen fixed her something she couldn’t turn down.
Walking over to the bed, I pull the covers and shove them down to the backs of her knees, exposing her body to me. She’s naked. Not surprised. She hated wearing clothes to bed, and I never wanted anything between us when she slept beside me. My girl always let me have a piece whenever I wanted it. At any time of the night.
I climb in next to her, lean up against the headboard and reach out, my fingers gently running up and down the curve of her spine. Over the vows that she let me tattoo on her. I have them on me as well. She just doesn’t know it. I got them after she left me.
I meant what I said. She needed to take it easy. Needed a day to recover from the drugs she willingly took and what I gave her. I had Jessie slip her some medication hours ago when he brought her dinner. Something to take the edge off. As much as I want my sweetheart to suffer, I want her to think at least one person here cares for her, even if it’s a lie.
A false sense of hope is exactly what she needs.
Everyone at Carnage is either a prisoner or works for us. We make the rules, and they follow.
She stirs, a soft snore coming from her parted lips as she rolls onto her back. My eyes fall to her brand. I’ve dreamed of her with it for four years now. Wondering how she explained it to other men who wanted to fuck her. I realized at Glass that she covered it up with makeup the best she could when I removed her underwear. I should have placed it on her neck. Made sure it was noticeable no matter what she wore.
Reaching out, I gently rub her hip bones with my fingertips before sliding them between her legs. I can’t help myself. Never have been able to with her. She was always my weakness. She’s like fucking crack. One hit is never enough.
I slide my fingers along her lips and watch her face to see if she notices. She doesn’t move.
My free hand unzips my jeans, and I lift my hips to pull out my hard dick. I stroke it, debating if I want to fuck her right now.
I’ll never forget the first time she asked for me to fuck her while she sleeps.
Senior year at Barrington University
I’m at Barrington when my cell rings. “Hello, sweetheart,” I answer, walking toward my car.
“I want to try something new,” she rushes out as if nervous.
I smile, loving that she still worries about such little things. She knows I never tell her no. “Whatever it is, I’m down.”
A giggle fills my ear as I pop my trunk to toss my bag inside. “As you know, my mother is away for the weekend.”
“I’m aware.” I have plans to tie her to her bed and fuck her senseless for the next two days, starting tonight. I removed the cameras her father put in her house. And although I don’t mind her staying with me at the house of Lords, sometimes I prefer the privacy of just the two of us.
“Well…” She takes a deep breath. “I found a bottle of her sleeping pills.”
I open my car door and fall into it. Her mother takes pills for everything, so no surprise there. “What about them?”
“I was thinking…” She pauses, and I give her the second she needs to tell me what she wants. “What if I take some and you meet me at my house?”
I know exactly what she’s talking about, but I want her to tell me. “How am I going to fuck you, sweetheart, if you plan on sleeping?”
“Well, that’s the point.”
I sit back into my seat and look down at my hard cock inside my jeans. “You want me to fuck you in your sleep?”
“Yeah,” she answers softly.
“What exactly do you want me to do to you?” I pull on my jeans, lifting my ass up off the seat, trying to get comfortable.
“Whatever you want.” Her voice is no longer unsure, and her breathing has picked up. Her nervousness is replaced with excitement.
“So if I tie your unconscious body to your bed, fuck your cunt and ass, you won’t mind?” I inquire.
“No.”
“And what if you wake up still tied up?”
“Even better.” She all but moans.
I finally start my car and order, “Head home and go ahead and take them when you get there.” I have to go to the house of Lords for a meeting and grab a few things before I can head that way. It’ll give her plenty of time to get ready for my arrival.
“Okay—”
“Ashtyn, don’t take more than you’re supposed to.” I want this to be something we both enjoy, not something we regret. She’s smaller than her mother and also doesn’t take them on a regular basis, meaning she doesn’t have a tolerance for them and needs to take less than what is suggested for her size.
“Of course.”
As my finger pushes inside her, she lifts her hips and moans.
Fuck, I’ve missed that sound so much. It was so hard to keep my identity a secret when I fucked her in the Fountain room. I wanted to rip off my mask and have her eyes on mine as she came. My sweetheart has no control over her body. Never has. She loves to be used and left with my cum dripping out of her.
Removing my finger, I get up and shove what’s left of the covers off the end of the bed. Then I crawl onto it, spreading her legs in the process. Her head is tilted to the right, and her dark hair fans the white pillow, but she doesn’t stir. She’s been through a lot the past few days. It’s just the beginning.
Settling between her spread thighs, I lean over her upper body, reach between the bed, and pull the leather straps up. I proceed to fasten one around each wrist, securing them above her head.
She’s out, but I know my girl likes being dominated. Sitting back, I reach out and rub her breasts and squeeze them. Then slap the outer side of both.
That gets a response. Her heavy eyes open, her long and dark lashes fluttering as she looks around aimlessly trying to make sense of her surroundings.
I slap them again, and a whimper comes from her parted lips. “There she is.”
Her chest rises with a deep intake of breath, her arms gently pulling on the restraints. “Wh-hat?” she stutters, arching her neck to see why she’s lost the function of her arms. The sound of her yanking harder on them makes me smile.
I run my hand over her smooth cunt, and her breath hitches as her heavy eyes find mine. She’s drugged but not entirely out of it. Two of my fingers slip inside her, and she arches her back, groaning.
Removing them, I grab the head of my pierced dick and push into her, loving the way her cunt clenches. Her legs push against me, and I grab the back of her knees, shove them up and out, opening her up wide, and her voice rings out over the thunder as I slam into her. Burying my cock inside her pussy. She’s not wet, but she’s also not dry. I love it when she’s dripping for me, but I also like it when I have to work at it.
Everything with Ashtyn has always been complicated. I love her. I hate her. It’s always been black or white. Never any gray areas.
“Fuck, sweetheart.” I moan, my eyes dropping to watch my cock go in and out as she continues her useless fight with the leather restraints around her wrists. I should tell her to save her strength, but I won’t. She’ll figure it out.
“Saint,” she gasps, her body arching, her legs shaking in my arms. “Oh…God.”
I pull out and slam forward, the headboard banging against the wall, forcing a cry from her lips. Her cunt clenches down on me, and I slowly watch my wet dick slide out. She slumps into the mattress, trying to catch her breath.
I release her legs, grip her hips, and turn her over onto her stomach. She tries to fight me, but I easily shove her legs open, forcing her ass up in the air, arching her back in a high position.
Grabbing my wet cock, I slide back into her. My free hand reaches out, grips her dark hair, and yanks her head up off the bed. She cries out while lightning flashes from behind me, illuminating the room.
My knees hold hers open, and I lean over her back, my elbows digging into the bed on either side of her head. I gently pull her hair from her face and twist it before lying it to the side. “I want to see your face, beautiful,” I inform her before my left hand clamps over her mouth.
She goes wild, bucking her hips and rocking her body. It just forces her cunt to fuck my dick, and it makes me chuckle. Her arms are crossed at the wrists due to her new position. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Lie. “You were just lying here…naked and begging to be fucked.” I’ve been fucking dying for her all day. I tried to be patient but told myself that I don’t have to be. She’s here, so I might as well get what’s mine.
I push my body down on top of hers and slam my cock into her. “Your tight cunt is soaking wet for me now.” She sucks in a deep breath through her nose, rambling unintelligible shit from her mouth that my hand covers. I reposition my hand so that my pointer finger and thumb pinch her nose closed, taking away her air. The action makes her pussy contract. “It’s like old times.” I go on, pulling out and slamming forward. Fuck, she’s so tight, and the thought of all the men she’s fucked over the past few years makes me want to beat her fucking ass with my belt to the point she can’t sit for a week. “You tied to my bed while I make you my dirty little whore.”
Tears run down her face as she tries to look at me out of the corner of her eye. I lean in, unable to stop myself, and kiss the side of her face, tasting the salt from them. I moan, “Have you missed me?”
She nods her head the best she can, blinking. I give a rough laugh, knowing we’re both lying to one another just about different things.
I push into her, and her head shakes, trying to dislodge my hand from her face. It’s not happening. I continue my hard thrusts, the headboard hitting the wall each time followed by her muffled screams and cries. Her hands fist as she pulls on the chains that are connected to the leather cuffs, needing to escape.
Her eyes are getting heavy though due to the pain pills she took and the lack of oxygen from my hand. “You’re about to pass out, sweetheart.” She blinks, and this time it takes her wet lashes longer to flutter open. “You were out when I started fucking you, and you’ll be out when I’m done with you.”
I slam forward, burying my dick into her soaked cunt, and hold it there. One hand on her face, the other on the opposite side of her head, and I watch her fight to breathe. “You’re so goddamn gorgeous, sweetheart,” I say in awe. My hand is slick from tears, snot, and drool.
Her body softens under me. “That’s it,” I coo, watching her hands unclench. “Such a good girl.”
She’s always been the girl of my dreams—the one I wanted and needed. “Get some rest, sweetheart,” I say as her eyes fall closed. This time, they don’t open, and her body goes slack beneath me.
I wait another second and release my hand from her mouth and nose. I gently lay the side of her face down onto the bed, sit up, grab her hips, and finish what I came in here to do.
