“SHAWN HAS A NICE ASS, don’t you think?” I ask Maggie. I lean against the bar and take a sip of my water. “Objectively speaking.”
Maggie lifts her eyebrows. “Objectively speaking? What does that mean?”
“Just, you know, if you weren’t dating Aiden, you’d think Shawn has a nice ass, right?”
“Sure, I’d think that. But when did you start thinking that?”
I glance across the farm to the rink where Maven and Shawn are doing laps around the ice. He looks steadier on his feet now, and more confident in his movements. I bite back a smile as I watch them.
“It might be a recent development,” I admit, and Maggie drags me to a small corner underneath a piece of mistletoe.
“Spill,” she says, and I kiss her cheek before plopping onto a bench.
“I don’t know what’s going on. It feels like we’re flirting with each other, which is something we’ve never done. It’s almost like there’s this unspoken game we’re both playing, and we’re trying to see who’s going to crack first.”
“Game?” Maggie stares at me, confused. “What kind of game?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I think he’s about to kiss me. Other times I kind of want to climb him like a tree and—” I take a breath. “Whatever it is, it’s because we’re spending time together, and I haven’t been laid in a very long time.”
“Okay, that’s a possibility.” She nods and swirls her drink around in her glass. “But what if you’re attracted to him, Lace?”
I snort. “No way. Shawn and I have been friends for a while, and I’ve never had an attraction toward him before. If I did, that crush would’ve already come up, right?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I think you can develop feelings for someone over time, too. Like, maybe because you’re spending so much time together, you’re getting butterflies when he’s around. But don’t listen to me. I’m not a relationship expert. I’m dating someone I slept with after knowing him for a couple hours and could tell he was the one after spending one night together.”
“What’s it like to be God’s favorite?” I ask. I sigh and put my chin in my hand. “I wish I knew what Shawn was thinking. Is he trying to get me riled up because he thinks it’s funny? Is he doing it because that’s how he feels, too, and he wants to test the waters?”
“Here’s an idea: you could ask him how he feels,” she suggests. “Healthy communication goes a long way.”
“Alright, let’s pump the brakes. What if I ask him and I’m reading everything wrong? I might ruin our friendship.”
“What if you ask him and you aren’t reading everything wrong?” she counters. “Then you could be in a relationship with your best friend.”
“Too risky,” I say. “Maybe we could do a friends-with-benefits thing. We could fuck once and get it out of our systems.”
Maggie chokes on her drink, and I pat her on the back. “You want to sleep with Shawn?” she asks.
“Have you seen him? His hands are massive, and you know what they say about guys with big hands. And, fuck, those tattoos.”
“I’m all for sexual exploration and doing what makes you happy. If that’s sleeping with Shawn, then I’ll cheer you on. Just be careful, Lace. It’s hard to separate emotions from the physical component sometimes. I mean, hell. Aiden and I were supposed to have a one-night stand without any strings attached. Now look at us; we’re buying bowls at Williams Sonoma on the weekends.”
“Yeah, but you two are relationship people. Shawn and I aren’t. We’re both single, and we’ve been single for a while. I don’t know what to do, Mags. It drives me crazy when he touches me. I’m using my vibrator every night and I still think about what his head would look like between my legs,” I say.
I should tell her he had food sent to my office on the day I was too busy to pop out and grab something for myself.
I should tell her he stopped by my apartment after the Titans’ loss. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up in my bed the next morning, and I think he carried me there. I found a piece of scrap paper with good night written in his handwriting on my kitchen counter when I made a cup of coffee, and I grinned for five minutes.
I’m not sure I didn’t dream the whole encounter.
Spending time with him has been nice. He’s thoughtful and considerate, and if I were looking to date someone, he’s exactly the kind of guy it would be. But we’re from different worlds; I end the day covered in boogers with cotton balls in my pockets and dark circles under my eyes. Shawn lives in a penthouse apartment and makes millions of dollars a year. He said he was picky, and that probably means he’s looking for a woman who wears Prada and Chanel out to Sunday brunch. Someone who can talk to reporters and not make an ass of themselves.
We work so well as friends. We’ve always worked as friends, and we’ve never crossed that line. I can’t help but be curious about what it would be like to tumble into bed with him, though.
Not when he calls me his and manages to find the two inches of bare skin under my outfits and touches me there.
He’s attractive and single. We’re doing things real couples do, just without the physical payoff.
And I kind of want the physical payoff.
I’m a firm believer that men and women can be sexually attracted to each other without letting it turn messy with feelings and love declarations. I’m someone who knows what I want, and I want to have some fun with Shawn.
If we already agreed we’d walk out of our fake relationship as friends, why can’t we say the same for after we see each other naked?
“You’re thinking hard,” Maggie says, and I bite back a smile.
“Sorry. I’m distracted. What are you getting Aiden for Christmas?”
“Oh.” She blushes and takes a long sip of her drink. “I’m giving him boudoir photos of me. I thought it would be a nice callback to how we met, except with even fewer clothes.”
“I love that.” I wrap my arm around her and rest my head on her shoulder. “I’m so happy you’re happy, Mags. You deserve it.”
“It’s not the life I thought I’d have, but I think that’s what makes it even more special. The best things are unexpected, and finding Aiden and Maven was certainly unexpected. I’m so grateful for my little family,” she says, and she wipes her eyes. “Sorry. You know the holidays make me emotional and sentimental.”
“I know. You don’t have to apologize to me. I love you for your tears. God knows you have enough for the both of us,” I say, and she laughs.
“I do, don’t I?” She pokes my side and lifts her chin. “Someone’s coming this way.”
I glance up and see Shawn walking toward us. He smiles as he approaches, his hands tucked in his pockets and his hat backwards on his head.
Why does he have to be so goddamn attractive?
“Ladies,” he says. “Why do I feel like you two are causing trouble over here?”
“Us? Trouble? Never,” I say. “Did you give up on ice skating?”
“It’s a lot more fun when you’re there.” He grins and tips his head toward the bar. “Want a drink?”
Maggie squeezes my thigh. “I’m going to check on Aiden,” she says, and I know she’s leaving us alone on purpose. “Have fun.”
“Did I say something wrong?” Shawn asks, taking the empty seat beside me.
“No. We were catching up on some things. Problem solving, if you will,” I say.
“Did you solve all the problems you had?”
I look into his eyes, and under the light of the moon and the fairy lights hanging from the rafters of the open-air pavilion, they look grayer than normal. Like something I could get lost in if I didn’t glance away.
“Yeah. I think we did.”
“Anything I can help with?” he asks, and I shake my head.
Not unless you want to fuck me in a gingerbread house at a Christmas tree farm.
“Nope,” I say, and I can tell my voice is strained. “All good.”
“You’re such a shitty liar,” Shawn says, and his thigh presses into mine. “Remind me to never ask you to cover for me if I need help hiding a body or something.”
“Yes, because the man who tips really well is definitely going to find himself involved with a murder cover up,” I joke. “Hey. Are we doing Christmas presents? Should I get something for your parents and sisters?”
“We give each person a gift, and then my nieces have a shit ton of things to open on Christmas morning. Don’t feel obligated to bring anything, though.”
“You spoil the shit out of those girls, don’t you?” I ask, and Shawn gives me a bashful smile.
“Guilty. They’re still at the age where they like toys like Play-Doh and Barbie dolls. I’ve known Maven since she was born, and it’s been weird to watch her go from playing with Legos to buying makeup and getting her driver’s license. I never feel old until I look at the people around me and see how much they’ve grown up.”
“Then you feel ancient?”
Shawn wraps his arm around me and tickles my side. I squeal and swat at his shoulder, trying to push him away. He’s too big, a solid mass I don’t stand a chance of moving. One of my hands ends up on his thigh and the other ends up on his stomach, just above the waistband of his jeans.
My laughter dies in my throat.
Shawn is such a man, with firm lines and taut muscles.
I’ve never been with someone who has such a physical presence before. Who could pick me up, toss me over his shoulder and not break a sweat. He’s carved from the finest marble, the muse for every great Renaissance artist’s depiction of the perfect male form.
God, I want to be under him. On top of him. Stretched out in his bed with the sheets around us as he took his time with me and learned my body in the most intimate ways.
“Lacey girl,” he whispers.
I love when he calls me that.
His fingers trace my jaw and fan out across my sternum. It’s the same spot he touched when he kissed me at the game, a frenzied search for bare skin that left me feeling dizzy and lightheaded.
I feel the same way now.
I lift my chin, and it’s an invitation for him to kiss me if he wanted to. A door to open to make this something more than a pretend relationship. Shawn’s eyes bounce to my mouth, and I think he’s considering it. His lips part, and he sucks in a sharp breath. He leans in closer, and his nose brushes against mine.
How is he this warm? It’s thirty degrees outside, and he’s keeping me from shivering. I can feel the heat from his hand over the fabric of my sweater, and I want to feel that heat everywhere.
Fuck. Okay. Are we doing this?
“Smile!”
We jump apart like we’ve been caught doing something illegal.
I guess we were doing something wrong; kissing my best friend is not allowed to happen.
Darcy, the team’s assistant, is beaming at us. She holds up her phone and taps the screen.
“Darcy,” Shawn says, and I’ve never heard him so irritated before. Her name sounds like venom, and maybe he’s not as nice as I thought he was. “What do you need?”
“I’m taking some photos for the team’s social media accounts,” she explains. “People love to see the guys doing everyday things like learning how to ice skate. Can you two get together?”
“Sure,” I say brightly. I wiggle across the small bench until my shoulder presses against Shawn’s. “How’s that?”
“You look like you two don’t know each other. Can you at least pretend like you enjoy each other’s company?” she laughs and angles her phone down. “You can’t be out of the honeymoon phase already.”
Shawn puts his arm around my waist. I rest my hand on the center of his chest, and I can feel his heart racing under the tips of my fingers. I sneak a look at him, and his cheeks are pink. It’s almost like he’s winded and trying to take in as much oxygen as he can.
“Smile, Lacey girl,” he murmurs, and it sends a shiver down my spine. “You can pretend you like me for a minute, right?”
“It’ll take a lot of energy, but I’ll survive,” I say out of the corner of my mouth as Darcy snaps away. “Why do you call me Lacey girl? It’s the only pet name you’ve ever used twice.”
“Because I can tell you don’t hate it. And because you’re my girl.”
I’m going to burst into flames. Incendiary tension sparks and cackles between us, and I’m close to pulling away. I need to pull away. His orbit is too strong, too powerful to break free from, but if I don’t, I’m going to do something stupid.
Like kiss him. Ask him to stay awhile. Knock down the walls I’ve put up to ward off men who are intimidated by my success, causing me to constantly diminish my accomplishments to seem more likable and dateable. Take him home with me and strip off his clothes so I can trace every inch of his toned physique. Bite his tattoos and taste the smooth skin of his neck.
His girl.
Hell.
I’m in a heap of trouble.
“Oh,” I say, and I’ve lost all train of thought. “I don’t hate it. I—I like it. I like it a lot.”
“I know you do. You’re so easy to read, Lacey.” Shawn glances at Darcy. “Did you get what you need?”
“Yeah.” She slips her phone in her pocket. “Thank you. The fans are going to adore these. They’ll be the first photos of you two on our accounts. I know you released a statement, but words come and go. Pictures are forever.”
Darcy waves and disappears, heading for the candy cane trail.
“Want to hit the rink again?” Shawn asks, and I nod.
“Sure.” I stand up and toss my empty water bottle in the garbage can. “Do you still need my help?”
His eyes meet mine, and he holds out his hand. “Please,” he says, and I like how that word sounds coming from him.
I wonder what else I could do to get him to say it again. I wonder how I could get him on his knees and make him beg.
I thread our fingers together and lead him toward the ice. A bolt of awareness hits me when he squeezes my hand tight.
I don’t think letting go of Shawn in a few weeks is going to be as easy as I thought it was.
