I left my life in the hands of fate, and asked for a sign.
Here she is.
Prepared to jump with me.
Like hell am I letting her do that.
But, the more I hurt her, the more it kills me. How can I make this stop?
I didn’t think losing me would do this to her. I didn’t know she still loved me after what I’ve done to her.
The pitch black hole I am trapped in is slowly ebbing to gray.
Could there be another way for me? I hear her words, I feel her here with me.
I’m not alone. But, I’m still breaking her.
It’s exactly how I imagine Kai would react if he were here. The helplessness in her voice, the raw pain in her eyes.
I matter?
As the blade grazes her skin, the blood drips down her throat and instinct takes over.
Sofia matters to me more than anything else. With a sudden release, the gun slips from my fingers and crashes onto the granite countertop, causing the room to fill with the sound of its echoing impact.
“Sofia, no!” I shout.
In a burst of adrenaline, I knock everything out of the way, propelling myself to reach her in record time.
Without hesitation, I seize her wrist, causing the knife to fall to the ground with a loud clatter.
Fuck.
“You don’t hurt yourself because of me, Sofia. I told you this,” I whisper as I wrap my arms around her, feeling her warmth against me.
I’m clinging to her as if she is the lifeline that keeps me from drowning. With each moment that passes, some of the shattered pieces of my soul mend.
That moment of peace I felt earlier when I thought it was all over is back now. Because of her.
She’s my solace now. As I press my face against her neck, I can smell the faint scent of her perfume, and tears stream down my cheeks.
I’ll let her in. As much as I can.
My mind is still swimming, but maybe I can show her the broken Jax and she won’t abandon me.
She holds me close. Maybe she can accept me for everything that I am. It’s enough to give me hope that there is something more for me in this life.
