Nine Years Ago
Damn this stupid car.
I turned my key, the ignition stalling as I attempted to start it. Of all days, it had to happen today. It was pouring outside, and I didn’t want to have to get out of the car in the rain, but it looked like I had no other choice.
It was now or never.
I opened the door as fast as I could, pulling the hood up to inspect the battery. My dad had taught me a bit about engines and cars. I knew enough to know the sound of the car meant the battery was dead. Fuck! And my phone had died because I was too busy texting all day at school. Serves me right for getting caught up in the gossip Adriana kept firing at me.
My car was parked around the back of the school, the parking lot now empty as students had left over an hour ago. I hung out at the library studying for my finals until the librarian had some sort of emergency and she’d asked me if she could close early. I ran back around and sat in the car, placing my head against the steering wheel.
This day totally blew.
There was a tap on the window.
Startled, I looked up and saw Alex. He was still wearing his scrubs and it left me tongue-tied. I never thought anyone could look so hot in medical attire, but then again, he could make a potato sack look good.
“Let me guess, dead battery?”
“I think so. Do you normally drive past the school looking for girls and broken-down cars?” I asked, cautiously, with the window slightly open.
“Geez, Charlotte, lay off America’s Most Wanted. I’m guessing you watched that episode last week with that schoolgirl and the knife-wielding psychopath?”
Dropping his head under the hood, he tinkered with the battery then walked back over to the window. Stretching his arm in, he attempted to start the ignition. It made the same churning sound.
“Okay, dead battery it is. I have jumper cables at my place. We can go get them, so we can at least get your car started and get you home.”
“It’s okay, I can wait here.”
He stared at me, confused by my cautious expression. “But didn’t you watch the episode with that girl standing by the bus stop when a bus pulled over with the escaped prisoners?”
Yeah, I had. Damn him to point that out. It was still daylight, though it wouldn’t be too long until the sun disappeared, so my nerves were getting the better of me.
“Okay, fine, let’s go,” I huffed, annoyed. “But you’re following me home in case someone comes along and tampers with something else.”
I locked my car and climbed into his black Jeep. I was drenched and my lips started to tremble as the cold took hold of me.
Alex turned the heat up in his car and took his scrub top off, wearing only a white wife-beater underneath. I couldn’t help but look, obviously. He leaned over to the back seat and grabbed a Jersey with the name Edwards scrawled across the back and he tossed it over to me. “Here, put this on.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m fine, Alex,” I replied, not very convincingly as my teeth chattered.
“I’m not taking no for an answer. Change into this, or you’re going to catch a cold, let alone the flu. There’s a bad case of this unknown virus making rounds. I’ll turn around.” He spun to face the driver’s side window, allowing me some privacy.
I faced the opposite side of him, slowly pulling my top off. Even my bra was soaked. I undid the hooks and quickly pulled the jersey over me while I swiped off my bra. Not a bad effort in a small confinement. Suddenly, the atmosphere changed as I looked over at Alex, his face was in turmoil. Yeah, okay, I’d let this one go. I was half-naked for a second, and he was a hot-blooded guy despite the wedding band on his finger.
“Better?”
He leaned over and brushed away a wet lock of hair from my face. Suddenly, the car felt hot, the air was charged, my cheeks blushing from the rise in temperature. Whether it was from the heat or his touch, I couldn’t tell.
We pulled up to his house. It was a small cottage in a secluded part of the town, very cute, reminded me a lot of Hansel and Gretel. He opened the front door, turning on the light. I followed him through the hallway as he continued to switch on some lights.
“Samantha isn’t home. She’s in San Francisco for the night babysitting her nephew.” He looked over, watching my reaction. I was relieved. Not that I was doing anything wrong, but there was something about him that made me feel comfortable. I felt my body relax.
“Nice place. It’s very cozy.”
We entered the living room, my eyes drawn to the enormous fireplace nestled against the back wall.
“It’ll do for now. Unfortunately, my wife doesn’t seem to think it’s good enough.”
“I’d love a place like this. But then, again, I love fireplaces. Nothing beats curling up in front of one reading a good book.”
“You don’t sound like a normal teenager.” He laughed.
“Define normal?”
“Well, definitely, not my sister,” he chastised. “I’ll be back in a sec. I’ll try to find these jumper leads. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”
Alone in the living room, I walked over to the mantelpiece to look at the picture frames that sat perfectly aligned. There was one of Alex on his graduation day standing proudly with his mom and dad, another of Alex and Adriana when they were kids. It was adorable. They were both wearing cowboy hats and holding up an ice cream cone with three scoops. It looked enormous compared to them. There were a few others which I assumed were of Samantha and her sisters. The one that caught my eye was the one of them on their wedding day. She looked stunning in her dress. Her face was radiant as she looked into his eyes. Alex was holding her, his eyes a different shade of emerald than what I normally saw. I had no idea how that was even possible.
Despite that, he looked happy, and I reminded myself again to ignore these feelings that were starting to build inside me. My focus needed to be on my grades if I wanted to attend an ivy league school next year.
“I found them,” he murmured, standing close behind me.
We weren’t touching, but the electricity was radiating off him. His slow breaths were blowing against my skin, whooping my body into a frenzy. I closed my eyes, just for a second, allowing myself to live in the moment. His face was inches away from mine. I started to panic because this struggle around him was uncharted territory. Until I understood what these feelings were, I needed to keep my distance.
Thankfully, his phone started ringing and broke us from the temptation. He took the call in the kitchen, talking briefly before hanging up and walking back to the living room, though, this time, stopping a few feet away.
“Sorry, that was Samantha, talking my ear off about her nephew.” His tone is bitter, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the baby talk or the fact that she called and interrupted us.
“Are you guys thinking about having kids soon?”
I regretted asking almost immediately.
“She wants to, but I think we’re way too young.” He sighed. Clearly, it was a touchy subject.
Why, oh why, did I open my big mouth and bring this up? Now I had visuals of them having sex. I was getting annoyed with myself, and this strange possessive feeling was nagging at me. This jealousy was all kinds of wrong.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s just that I’m kind of sick of this topic being brought up. I don’t understand why she can’t see how young we are. That there are still so many things for us to do before settling down… like our careers, traveling. Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink or eat?” he asked politely, changing the subject.
I was starting to feel awkward being here, not with him, just in this place—her house. The feeling tormented me, the voices in my head telling me to let it go, walk out, and not look back. “No, I’m fine. We probably should head back. It’s getting darker outside.”
He grabbed his keys and the jumpers, turning all the lights off before we headed back out to the car. I climbed in, this time the music was low, playing a Bon Jovi ballad. We were awkwardly quiet. Had I done something wrong? I wanted to look at him but was afraid he’d catch me in the act.
“I never got to thank you for helping me out with the whole prom-dress thing. It was quite funny watching Adriana’s reaction. Unfortunately, she was a pain in my backside all day, but I’d take that over trying on dresses.”
“So, it worked? I’m guessing you’ll eventually have to go shopping for one, though, right?”
“Yes, unfortunately, I do. Stupidly, I agreed to go with some guy at school a few months back. I’m still kicking myself for saying yes, but hey, there’s always online shopping.”
“Who?” he asked, his voice changing tone.
“Who what?”
“Who are you going to prom with?”
“Oh… Carter. He’s just a guy I’ve known pretty much most of high school.”
“As in the Evans kid? Good luck with that. The jerk can’t even pitch a ball right.”
“Wait, are we talking about baseball or sex? Number one, I don’t care for sports. Number two, I don’t plan to have sex with him. Not every prom needs to end in a cheap rented hotel room, except for your sister.”
Whoops, wrong person to bring that subject up with.
“Please don’t go into my sister’s sex life. In my eyes it doesn’t exist nor will it ever.”
“It’s not that bad. You’ve got to get used to them being a couple. Sex is no big deal. At least she’s with one person. Most girls our age change partners more regularly than underwear.”
“Do you change sex partners more often than underwear?”
“Okay, this conversation has now hit an all-time high in awkwardness,” I tell him, unable to stop my face from flushing in embarrassment. “No, I don’t, but I’m not like all the other eighteen-year-olds. You said that yourself.”
We finally arrived at my car, and I couldn’t have been more grateful. He opened up the hood and connected the leads on the battery, attaching the other end to his car.
It finally started.
Hallelujah!
Alex removed the cables and shut the hood.
“All done. Sure you’ll be okay?”
“I’ll be fine.” I smiled, relieved I didn’t have to call Dad to come help since I knew he was on the road today and wouldn’t be home until late. “Thanks for all your help.”
Tilting my head upward, I kissed him on the cheek. I caught him by surprise, lingering more than I should have, lost in his scent and the feel of his skin. I pulled away, the loss of contact unbearable.
Alex sighed.
Had he felt it too?
Think of something else, Charlie, anything else. Why is the sky blue? What’s the square root of pi? It’s working. My inner self high-fived my brain.
“Don’t forget, eight tonight. It’s the continuation of the hitchhikers who went missing along Route 66.”
“You’re a twisted little one, Miss Mason,” he replied, smirking as he shut my door.
The first thing I did when I got home was jump into a steaming hot shower. I stayed in there for like half an hour allowing the water to relax my muscles. I felt extremely tense, the kind of tense that would usually be eased with a massage. My thoughts drifted again, so I quickly turned off the water. How was I going to get through the night?
I was dressed in my pajamas when I plonked myself on the couch, armed with my bowl of popcorn and a rolling pin. It was my safety blanket, plus it would hurt anyone who came near me. I grabbed my cell, now fully charged, and decided to text Alex to say thank you.
It wasn’t the rolling pin that accompanied me to bed that night. It was his hockey jersey. I held onto it tight, inhaling his scent.
Fact—he was married.
But was he happy?
The short conversations we had around this topic indicated that he wasn’t, but he was bound to her, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do they part and forsaking all others.
I was holding a match, lighting up the kerosene, playing with fire.
So what? We fuck once and that ruins his marriage? I wasn’t that type of girl, and what about Adriana? She was my best friend and would never forgive me. These thoughts needed to leave my head. Immature, teenage dreams over someone I couldn’t have.
I tossed and turned that night, replaying everything in my mind, falling asleep at the break of dawn.
