I spent the short limousine ride chatting with Brooke. It turns out she’s the daughter of one of the politicians from Long Island. Great, just what I need, more media scrutiny. Adriana sure knows how to pick them.
We arrive at the ball, red carpet swarming with paparazzi. We follow the crowd, hoping to avoid the craziness. Unfortunately, I’m not so lucky.
“Mr. Edwards, over here,” one of the paparazzi yells.
I take my cue, posing, then the media frenzy follows. The bulbs keep flashing, blinding my normally perfect vision.
“Lex, who are you wearing?”
“Are you and Brooke Henley an item?”
“Is it true the Lexed Group is in a bidding war to buy—?”
Adriana shakes her head with annoyance and impatiently drags me into the building.
Thank God, the worst part is over.
We’re seated toward the front, thanks to Adriana making me purchase the seats at twenty-five hundred a ticket. Sitting at the table beside us is Mr. Vandercamp and what looks like a new wife or possibly mistress. She’s a clone of Barbie, a far cry from the Mrs. Vandercamp I remember.
Mr. Vandercamp is the owner of one of the largest importing companies in the States. Rumor has it he’s in the middle of a messy divorce. With a Fortune 500 company, he is set to lose a lot of money. Too bad the old bugger didn’t keep his dick in his pants.
We continue through the crowd, pausing to chat with acquaintances until finally stopping at Mr. and Mrs. Henley’s table. Brooke introduces me to her parents. It’s obvious her father isn’t impressed she’s attending the event with me. Who could blame him? I don’t have the best reputation with women.
I scan the room, bored with the conversation between Brooke and her mother about dresses and designers. Across the ballroom, I notice a young guy checking me out, making it blatantly obvious. The girl on his right copies his move, and the one on his left slowly untangles herself from her partner’s arm, revealing a stunning dress.
Emerald green, if that doesn’t take me back to prom.
She turns to glance my way, and our eyes fixate on each other.
It’s her.
My heart races uncontrollably, a dry throat starting to become uncomfortable as I stare, allowing my insecurity to get the better of me. Again. I despise myself for being so weak in her presence. Man the fuck up, Edwards.
Straightening my shoulders with my chest out, I adjust my cufflinks and take easy breaths, willing my confidence to return. This time, I’m not going to let the opportunity get away. Leaning into Brooke’s ear, I tell her I’m going to mingle.
With every step I take toward her, the expression on her face is of disbelief. And attached to that is the most beautiful woman in the entire room.
Her long dress flows down her perfectly toned body, each curve making me harden beneath my pants. What I wouldn’t do to have my face between those full breasts right now. Her hair is styled to one side, wavy in a 1950s style. It’s much longer than in high school, but then again, that feels like a lifetime ago.
“Charlotte, what a nice surprise to see you again.”
I take the initiative to introduce myself since she stands still, completely speechless. She stammers as she begins to speak, affected by my presence. After she introduces her colleagues, the moment comes that I’ve been dreading. She finally introduces her fiancé—Julian Baker.
He extends his hand, repeating my name. With a controlled stare, I don’t let him see how much I loathe him for taking what belongs to me, not even when he wraps his fingers around her beautifully manicured fingers. With every fiber of my being, I try to contain my jealousy, rambling on about us dating in high school.
There’s history between us, and no matter what the future holds, nothing or no one can erase that.
The conversation bounces between my accent, the office in Manhattan, to Adriana. Although I welcome anything which comes from Charlotte, her Asian friend is intrusive with his questions. Thankfully, we’re interrupted by the MC announcing dinner is to be served.
I continue to stare at Charlotte, her eyes never leaving mine. If only I could get her alone, to explain. I am certain I can convince her my mistakes were justified by the unfortunate situation I found myself in. But as her friends begin to walk off, I seize the opportunity with desperation, grabbing her arm as I whisper how breathtaking she looks tonight.
For the split second she lingers next to me, I inhale her heavenly scent. It’s like a drug, and just like that, I find my addiction again. She walks away from me, leaving me standing like a lost puppy.
Fucking pull yourself together, Edwards.
Stakes are high, and you can’t afford to lose.
“She’s here,” I tell Adriana, back at our table.
Adriana searches the room in anticipation, and after going back and forth with Elijah as to what she will say when she sees her, she throws her napkin on her table and begins to walk off amongst the crowd. Adriana hasn’t even bothered to touch her food, and neither have I, desperate for the hard stuff to calm down my anxious nerves.
I excuse myself, heading straight for the bar since the champagne served to us at the table is awful.
“What can I get you, sir?”
“Scotch, neat.”
“Hi, Lex.” Charlotte’s assistant, Eric, is standing beside me, maybe a little too close. Or is that my paranoia? “So, I’m guessing Charlie and you were more than just friends back in high school, hence why you can cut the sexual tension with a dil… um, I mean, chainsaw?”
“It’s a little complicated,” I retort, hesitating.
Where’s he going with this? And was he about to say dildo?
“I’m surprised she never mentioned you, considering I’m her BFF. You would think a gorgeous man like yourself would’ve been brought up during at least one drunken escapade.” He motions for the bartender to serve him, ordering two Martinis, then quickly turns back to me.
“Well, since you’re so-called BFFs, Eric, tell me, how long has she and Julian been together?”
“Three months,” he responds, grabbing his Martini and swirling the stick.
I don’t know what I wanted to hear. It’s great they haven’t been together for long, but the engaged part, I can’t comprehend. They were only together for three fucking months, and she’s already engaged to him? Why would you rush that? Unless she was… no, fuck, it can’t be that. She’s drinking champagne. Calm down, Edwards. I need to play my cards right, desperate for information, anything about her I can get my hands on.
“I own a club, After Dark. Not sure if you’ve heard of it?”
Of course, he has heard of it. Aren’t gays known for their fashion sense and club life? The second his eyes light up, I know I’m on the ball.
“Oh-em-gee, like hello! It’s the hottest spot in town right now,” he squeals, clapping his hands in delight.
Bingo. I need to get Charlotte into a more relaxed environment. I do what any other determined man trying to get his hands on his ex-girlfriend would do—I take one for the team and flirt a little with her gay BFF.
“So how about I put you guys on the VIP list for tonight?”
Eric clutches his chest, eyes wide and glowing with an elated smile. I’m slightly worried he’s going to grab my face and kiss me. I have no problem with gays, but I like pussy, sweet beautiful pussy. Oh, fuck, if that doesn’t stir things up again. I’m like a goddamn fifteen-year-old with this walking hard-on. I don’t want Eric thinking he’s had a hand in that.
“That would be awesome.”
Eric leans over, hugging me tightly. It’s weird, like oh-em-gee, weird. Jesus Christ, this kid is rubbing off on me already.
I straighten my posture, finishing the remnants of my scotch and order another.
“Oh, I love you! I better get back to my table.” He grabs the second Martini, and begins to walk off, then turns around with a grin. “And, Lex, don’t worry, I’ll make sure she comes alone.”
I scan the room, hoping to find her alone. Amongst the other dancers, she’s there with him. My blood begins to boil watching his hands all over her. With a slight growl, my teeth begin to clench as I take long steps toward her, zigzagging through the crowd, excusing myself as I bump into couples holding each other tightly while they dance to Frank Sinatra.
“Mind if I cut in?” I interrupt, flashing a friendly smile. “For old time’s sake?”
Charlotte’s tanned skin turns almost pale. Julian, on the other hand, is annoyed. He whispers something in her ear making her smile, then he walks away like a good little boy should. I place a hand over hers, and the other on her waist. I ache to hold her closer, the familiarity is just too much. I have to get through this.
She questions what I want. Accusing me of calling us friends, and I’m quick to tell her that, according to her, our relationship meant nothing. Just a high school fling.
And there, I pointed out the one thing she said to me which hurt me more than anything.
That we were nothing.
That everything I said meant nothing to her.
She’s quick to change the subject, avoiding the topic completely. Then comes the thousand questions. Her curiosity is piquing as to why I changed careers. There’s so much she doesn’t know about me, but I don’t want to have this conversation on the dance floor. I ask her to meet me afterward for a drink, and knowing she heard me but chose to ignore me, I decide to do what I do best—I rile a reaction from her.
“How long have you and Julian been together?”
“Why, Lex? Does it matter? What about you? I’m guessing you’re no longer with Samantha since you hooked up with another blonde,” she snaps.
I calmly explain the scenario, a small part of me hoping it makes her jealous which can only mean she still cares. Her face scrunches up when she gets angry, and I smirk, hoping she will lighten up, but boy, am I wrong.
The crowd stops dancing to applaud the band, and she takes the opportunity to end the dance, thanking me before walking away.
Defeated, and unsure of my next move, I walk back toward my table, forgetting about my date, Brooke. She glances at me with a blank expression on her face.
“Who is she, Lex?” Her tone is flat, she’s not at all jealous.
This is strange. I’m not used to calm women around me.
“Who? The brunette?” I look over and see Julian with his arms around her. Fuck! One minute away from me, and she’s running into his arms.
Exerting my anger, I crack my knuckles, penetrating Charlotte with a cold stare. Each time his lips touch her, my pulse quickens, causing my body to tense followed by an outbreak of sweat.
“Just someone from high school. No one special.”
The words hurt even to say them.
“Listen, Lex, there’s something you should know.” Brooke twists her napkin, nervously looking around. “I only agreed to this date to please my parents.”
I laugh at the irony of it all, welcoming the distraction. “Your parents? Brooke, I don’t think your dad likes me one bit.”
“See, the thing is that, um…” she downs the rest of her champagne, placing the empty glass on the table, “… I’m not interested in you. Sorry, I mean, not just you… in men.”
Rubbing my chin, I watch her with confusion, trying to understand before it clicks. “You prefer your own kind?”
She laughs, immediately relaxing her shoulders and letting out a sigh. “Yes, I do, Lex. I’m sorry, I haven’t gone public, and my father’s in the middle of an important campaign.”
“Secret’s safe with me.” I grin. “But only if you do one thing… pretend you’re at least interested in me for the night. It might come in handy later.”
Yes, I have a plan. It just needs to be executed.
Charlotte can control herself as much as she wants, but little does she know that I know of her weakness. Jealousy runs deep within her veins, and somehow, I need to ignite the flame beneath that jealousy and make it burn wild.
“Deal. I’m sure I can play a straight lady for one night.”
We both laugh this time, knowing how fucked-up this all is. I’m glad there’s no longer this awkward tension between us.
“I’ll be back,” I tell her. “I need to use the restroom.”
Inside the restroom, I shut the door behind me, unzipping my pants to pull my cock out. It’s throbbing. With every stroke comes pleasure. I close my eyes, remembering her standing in front of me, her chest exposed slightly in her dress, her tanned skin itching to be kissed, the trail leading to her full breasts. I try to remember what her nipples look like, how they felt in my mouth. The squeal she’d make when I tugged on them with my teeth.
Instantly, I blow all over my hand.
It isn’t taking me long these days.
Grabbing a wad of paper, I wipe my hand, then throw it down the toilet and flush. I give myself a moment to calm down before I zip my pants and head out of the stall to wash my hands. Just as I stand there at the basin, Julian walks in.
“So, did you enjoy your dance with Charlie? Just like old times, hey?”
His tone wreaks of jealousy but I fucking thrive on it.
“Just like old times. But, hey, you heard her, we were just high school kids back then,” I answer, playing dumb.
“But you weren’t in high school. If I remember correctly from my research, you graduated seven years before her. So, when you and Charlie dated, you were like, what, twenty-five? And she was eighteen?”
“What’s your point?”
“And you were married at the time. See, Lex, this is the thing… we always want what we can’t have.”
“I had her. What the fuck are you trying to say?”
He wants to play dirty, but he’s messing with the wrong guy.
“Exactly. You had her, but you couldn’t keep her.” He checks his face in the mirror, adjusting his bow tie at the same time. “Just remember who she’s with now and whose bed she’ll be in tonight.” With a cocky grin, he pushes the door open and leaves the restroom.
Leaning on the countertop for support, my knuckles turn white from the pressure. Gritting my teeth, I silence the profanities begging to be shouted inside the confinement of this room. The animosity toward him is like acid burning every single inch of me.
I stare into the mirror, nostrils flaring with a tight expression. If Charlotte is anything like she was back in high school, jealousy is the curse she was never able to break, and my desperation is willing to prey on her weakness.
Back inside the ballroom, I make my way to our table and lean into Brooke’s ear. “Time to call in a favor?”
She nods with a devilish smile, following me to the dance floor where I find us a spot in Charlotte’s view.
Charlotte is staring at me with a ray of mixed emotions. I lean in to kiss Brooke on the neck, closing my eyes, pretending to inhale her scent. My eyes slowly move up searching for Charlotte’s reaction.
Tormented, Charlotte lets go of Julian, walking swiftly toward the exit. I quickly excuse myself, assuming she’s running out of the ballroom. I spot her walking down the hall, flustered. Moving in at a faster pace, my grip tightens on her arm while I drag her into a small conference room.
Unable to control my emotions around her, I pace the floor between us, and we both yell at each other in frustration. Words carelessly leave our mouths, hurting each other to erase the guilt of the past. In the heat of the moment, her expression turns pained, and defensively she brings up Samantha again.
Watching her, my mind is out of control. I’m unable to fight the urge anymore, crushing my lips against hers.
The taste of her soft lips melts onto mine. Our tongues feverishly battle each other as I press her body into mine, keeping my tight grip, never wanting to let her go. She doesn’t push me away, so I take advantage by cupping her face, desperately releasing the built-up tension which has grown over our years apart.
Suddenly, she begins to resist. Refusing to allow her to give up on us, I trap her arms forcefully, willing we continue. Pressing my cock against her thigh, I ache to be inside her. I groan into her mouth, wanting her to know how much I need her.
My hand trails her cheekbone and slides down her neck, finding itself flat against the middle of her exposed chest. Just one move to the left or right, and I’ll have her in my hands. Her perfect tits are calling out to me, but it’s almost like she can read my mind. Finding her strength, she moans, then pushes me away.
As we struggle to catch our breath, she pleads with her eyes, shaking her head on the verge of tears.
“Lex, we can’t. Please, you don’t understand… I can’t go down this path again.”
No matter how many times I say it, it can never erase what happened. I apologize, telling her how much I regret my actions. She has to see that none of it was supposed to happen.
Charlotte Mason was meant to be my girl, my wife, all along.
“Lex, I’ve moved on. It took me a long time to finally accept what happened between us. If you care for me at all, even as a friend, please just leave me alone.”
Her eyes never leave mine as she says those words. Turning around, she places her hand on the door, stopping to touch her lips before leaving me alone in the room.
I run my fingers through my hair, reeling from what just happened, unable to calm my racing heart. What the fuck is happening? Maybe I just need to get her out of my system. Just one last time, one fuck. Maybe it isn’t about love anymore, maybe it’s primal curiosity.
But her last words hang around me, a dire warning to leave her alone.
I walk out of the ballroom, running into my sister. “Lex, there you are. We need to talk.”
“Not now, Adriana.” I continue to walk away, unable to think clearly.
“It’s about Charlie.”
Stopping mid-step, Adriana catches my attention.
“What’s wrong?”
“All that stuff Charlie’s mom said was a lie. There was nobody else. Maria just said that so you wouldn’t look for her,” Adriana rushes, her expression full of regret.
She accompanied me on that fateful trip to Cuba and knew what I had gone through and the reason behind my decision at the time. All of this, the whole mess of what we once were, is becoming this tangled web of lies.
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought she deserved to be happy, even if it was with someone else.”
Staring down at my feet, my emotions are exposed as the regret begins to seep in. In just one night, Charlotte has brought out everything I’ve been burying since the moment I left her on that cliff. I promised her things, things I knew I shouldn’t, all because I was terrified of losing her.
And in the end, I lost her completely with my careless actions.
“I know, Lex. But it’s done, and now she’s here. What are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know. She asked me to leave her alone…” I scrub a hand over my hair, “… said she’s finally happy.”
“You did that last time and look where it got you.”
I don’t answer her, walking back to the ballroom in a dull state. The fight within me is compromised, not knowing which way to turn.
The night starts to wind down, and I watch as the crowd slowly disperses. Charlotte is with Eric and Emma, grabbing their things. She glances at me before quickly turning away.
So what? I don’t even get a goodbye? This isn’t like Charlotte at all. The old Charlotte wouldn’t ignore me. She’d be in my face cursing until the sun set if she had a problem.
If you care for me at all, even as a friend, please just leave me alone. Her words replay in my mind over and over again like a broken record.
I don’t want to make more mistakes.
The past is the past, and to move forward, I have to forgive myself for all the wrong decisions I made. But it isn’t just about me forgiving myself, it’s about her forgiving me too. And more than anything, I need it like the air I breathe.
Outside, the concierge opens the door to the car. “Mr. Edwards, your driver is here.”
“Thank you.”
I tip the young guy, then press the security screen down to speak to Kyle.
“Where to, sir?”
I have to make this right. I owe it to us—no more indecisiveness. You need to follow your gut and act accordingly.
“After Dark, please.”
