Nine Years Ago
The voices filtered through the apartment.
It was now or never.
Avoiding my family since the day it happened would only get me so far. How did they expect me to react? All ‘no worries, Mom and Dad, you did me a favor by dragging my butt here to San Francisco to stay with my wife and raise a baby I didn’t even want.’
At first, I heard my mother. She sounded happy, and the words I could make out were those of anticipation, waiting for this baby to arrive. I dragged myself out of bed making my way to the mirror. The beard that had grown on my face annoyed Samantha, and that’s exactly why I kept it there. The dark circles around my eyes had formed as a reminder of the nightmare I was living. I washed my face briefly before heading out to the living room.
“Alex, sweetie.” My mother held out her arms as her face changed from delighted to worried. She knew not to mention anything about my appearance in front of everyone, something my father had no problem with.
“Well, Alex, it’s nice to see you’re taking care of yourself. I hope you plan to clean yourself up before returning to work on Monday?”
My father had arranged for me to be transferred to Saint Francis Memorial Hospital. What he didn’t know was that I was just about to pull the plug on my medical career. How could I help people when I couldn’t even help myself? His overbearing ways would stop if I could just muster up the courage. I needed to stand up to him. I needed to be a man.
“Emily, Andrew, please come out to the balcony. I have prepared some lunch. I know it was a long drive for you.” Samantha ushered my parents to the balcony, leaving me alone with my sister.
Adriana stood by the window, avoiding me at all costs. She didn’t look any better than I did, except no beard, of course.
“Adriana, please… talk to me,” I begged.
Moments passed, and not a word was said. Would it always be like this between us? I missed my annoying sister. I fucked it up royally for her. And despite her not-so-warm behavior toward me, all I wanted to ask about was Charlotte.
“What would you like me to say, Alex?” she huffed in return, folding her arms, staring me down until I felt nothing but intimated even though I towered over her small frame.
“I don’t know, Adriana, that you understand.” I hesitated, knowing I was pushing my luck with her.
“Understand?” she shrieked and let out a you-are-fucking-joking laugh.
“Okay, sorry, whatever.”
It was at this moment I realized how alone I was in this, how there was no one I could confide in who would remotely understand what we had. I stood from the couch to make my way to the kitchen, abandoning this conversation.
“She left,” Adriana mumbled.
I turned swiftly, almost causing myself whiplash. “What?”
“About a week ago. I don’t know where to.”
“What do you mean she left?”
“She left town, to go God knows where. But I’m not surprised after the humiliation she must have felt.”
I raised my voice in desperation. “How could you not know where?”
“Because, Alex, she and I no longer talk.”
“When was the last time you spoke to her?”
“I ran into her the morning all hell broke loose in town. She confronted me, and well, Alex, I was hurt. I said things I shouldn’t have. I had no idea this was going on, and now I look back, it was so obvious. It was there right in front of my face, and the only reason I didn’t notice was because I was too absorbed in my own love life.”
“What did you say to her?”
Adriana bowed her head. “It doesn’t matter. She’s gone now.”
“Tell me what you said to her!”
“I just told her to stay away… and that…” Her hesitation made me anxious. I knew she said something that would have pushed Charlotte to the point of no return.
“You mustn’t have really loved her if you got Samantha pregnant,” she whispered.
“Fucking hell, Adriana!” Placing my head in my hands, I tried to ignore the pain spreading throughout me again. My poor Charlotte. How could I have been so fucking stupid?
“Alex, I’m sorry. I was so upset.”
Taking deep breaths, the blame shouldn’t be placed on Adriana. This wasn’t her doing. I created this mess, and I would forever pay the price.
“No, I understand. It was never our intention to hurt you. She worried about you all the time, but we were so deep in this. I loved her… more than you can ever imagine.”
“And now, Alex?”
“Love like that doesn’t just disappear—” My voice faded.
Samantha walked into the room, interrupting our conversation. She must have known we were having a moment, and she looked annoyed that Adriana wasn’t screaming at me. As I made my way onto the balcony, Adriana walked beside me, holding onto my body. Before we stepped outside, she hugged me tight, much to the bemusement of my father.
“Have faith, big brother. The right place and the right time, she’ll be yours again,” she whispered.
I wasn’t sure I believed that fate would play a part in us being together again one day, but I did know this—my obligation to be a father to this unborn child had to be my number one priority.
And for now—I had to let Charlotte go.
