I was fine until I moved, then that gnawing ache spreading through my body exploded in bright, blinding clusters. Pain tugged at different parts of me. My nipples stung, and the insides of my thighs were tender. I unleashed a soft moan and opened my eyes, trying to come to terms with what happened last night.
It was a mess. A whole terrifying, elated, cruel mess.
I turned my head, wincing at the ache at the back of my neck as I found Colt lying beside me, his eyes closed, his hand wrapped firmly around my arm.
But was it Colt?
Or was it the beast?
I closed my eyes as a low moan gathered like a storm in the middle of my chest. Only I didn’t let it free. I kept it down there, trapped and rumbling, desperately quiet so I didn’t wake him. I didn’t want to wake him, and it wasn’t just because he needed to rest. No. Because the truth was…I was scared.
The more I thought about last night, the further sleep slipped away.
I was awake…very awake, remembering everything.
Not Colt.
The words resounded and a new ache flared, one in my heart. My body clenched as the heaviness in my bladder tugged my focus. I needed to get up…and pee. I swallowed my breath, gulping it down as I shifted my gaze to his once more.
Lips together.
Eyes closed.
Still fast asleep. He won’t even know I’ve—I rolled my arm and gently pulled. His eyes snapped open, the blue so dark it was almost black. But he didn’t look at me. He looked through me, like I wasn’t even there. Panic punched, making my pulse skip.
“Colt?” my voice squeaked.
Then in an instant, he blinked and came to life. The deep blue brightened a little. There was a quiver at the corner of his mouth. “Wildcat?” he spoke, his voice husky and raw.
I smiled, pushing up to brush my fingers across his hard, bristled cheek. “Hey there, it’s me.” He tried to smile at me, but I saw the panic, the doubt. “You’re okay now. You’re out of there. You’re here with me. See?”
I touched his cheek and grazed his jaw before leaning close to kiss him. But his lips barely moved. I pulled away, desperately trying to think of how to ease him. He winced, growing pale.
“Are you hurting?” I shoved upwards, biting down on another moan, and pulled the sheets away from him. He was naked and in the faint spill of sunlight between the blinds, I saw the damage more clearly.
He wasn’t just black and blue…he was all black.
All of his stomach.
All of his chest.
The tread of a boot was stamped clearly into his check.
Revulsion gripped me, making my stomach clenched. Acid surged into the back of my throat.
“Vivienne?” he croaked as I slammed my hand over my mouth and shoved from the bed.
I couldn’t stop, and launched for the bathroom, even when the ache flared deep with every step. The burn spilled out, splashing against the sides of the bowl. Heavy steps came behind me.
“Vivienne?” Colt croaked as he stumbled into the doorway.
I shook my head, my eyes blurred with tears. “I’m okay. I’m okay…I—”
“What the fuck happened to you?” he growled as he lurched closer, holding onto his chest with one hand and the doorjamb with the other.
He yanked me hard, spinning me around until he could take a good look. The panic in his stare didn’t get any better. “What the fuck bit you?”
I swallowed hard and looked down. Red, swollen, bruised. I knew it’d be bad, but this…this was too much. I yanked from his hold, covering myself. “It’s nothing.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing to me. What the fuck bit you like that?”
I hurried for my clothes and snatching the shirt up from beside the bed, only to stare at the shredded fabric.
“Oh, God…oh, Jesus…” he cried, coming closer. “I did this. I fucking did this.”
“No.” I spun around, glaring. “You didn’t. Not the you I know, anyway.”
But he shook his head and clenched his fist. “I did this…I—”
Smack!
His fist thudded onto his cheek, throwing his head backwards.
I lunged and grabbed his fist as he swung again. “Stop! Colt, STOP! You didn’t know what you were doing. You—” I stopped. “You were someone else last night. Someone—”
Beast.
The name reverberated inside my head. “You were someone you needed. Someone who protected you. Someone—” I stepped closer, touching his cheek softly. “Someone who kept you alive.”
“I need to be tied up.” His voice was bleak as he turned from my touch and scanned his bed.
I knew instantly what he was looking for, the thick leather shackles he’d used to chain himself to the bed when it stormed. Only now I knew why.
“No.” I shook my head. “No fucking way am I letting that happen. Not after what you’ve just been through. You didn’t hurt me. Hey! Look at me.”
He jerked back to me.
“You didn’t hurt me. You just needed to learn to be gentler.”
“It shouldn’t have ever happened.” His eyes were darkening, growing distant. “I didn’t want you to ever know.”
I lifted my chin. “Well, I’m glad I do. I want to know all of you, the good and the bad. I don’t regret a second and you shouldn’t either.”
“Did I…did I rape you?”
I think that would’ve been the last straw. If he thought that’s what had happened, Colt would put a gun to his mouth and he’d be dead before we knew it.
“No. You didn’t,” I answered. “And that’s the truth. You were…” I grazed my lip with my teeth as that heady rush came back. Pain and pleasure. The sting was so fucking good. I swallowed hard. “You were perfect.”
He scowled, staring at me. “No. That’s not—”
“He was perfect for me. Rough at first, but then he seemed to understand.” Christ, I was talking like it was someone else in the room with us last night and not Colt. “He won’t hurt me. You won’t hurt me. I know that.”
“But if he—”
I captured his face, holding his stare. “He won’t hurt me because you won’t allow it. I will heal, Colt. I will heal and the next time that other part of you rises to the surface, I’ll be ready. If he ever comes back.”
Fear moved into his stare.
He didn’t think it was an if, did he?
He thought it was a when.
Fuck.
His knees shook so hard he stumbled backwards, falling onto the bed. I lunged forward and grabbed his shoulders. His arms clasped across his middle were all I needed to know he needed help. “Wait right here.” I whirled to the door. “I’ll be as fast as I can.”
I threw open the door and raced for my room, bursting in to fling myself into my closet. I threw on anything: panties, jeans, and a t-shirt with no bra. My damn nipples were too sore anyway. So I grabbed a jacket and my socks and boots and raced out.
“London!” I called from the hallway as I ran. “LONDON!”
The sound of a chair scraping came from the study. He was in the doorway in an instant, his eyes wild. “What is it?”
I sucked in a hard breath. “He needs the doctor. He’s in pain…way too much pain.”
“Fuck.” London grabbed his phone, swiped, and pressed the screen. It was answered fast as he turned away and growled, “He’s in pain. How fast can you get here? What? What the fuck do you mean, he needs more?”
I didn’t like the sound of that. I liked it even less when London scowled. “Those scans would be where? He’s not going to any fucking hospital, so you can get that out of your head.” Silence. I hated silence. “Yes, I know it. It’s private, and you can keep the records out of his file?” He leaned his hand on the end of his desk. “I’ll expect you to be attending there. Yes…yes, I’ll have him taken there and yes…I’ll see you tonight.”
Tonight? What was tonight?
He hung up the call and turned to me. “He needs scans. I’ll call Guild, get him to drive you.”
“No.”
I spun at the low growl. Colt was there, his skin almost gray as he leaned in the doorway, but he’d somehow pulled on sweatpants, a t-shirt, and sneakers. “I’ll drive myself,” he muttered.
“No fucking way.” London winced when he looked at him, then stepped past me and out into the hall. “You can barely stand up, son.” He placed his hand on Colt’s shoulder. “Let us help.”
Colt met my gaze, then shook his head.
He was pulling away from us, too scared to be around those he loved. “I’ll take the Raptor. It’s automatic.”
“It’s not the goddamn gears I’m worried about.” London shook his head, following Colt’s stare to me. “What am I missing here?”
“Nothing,” I answered a little too fast. “You missed nothing.”
Colt stepped away and pushed past me into the study to grab his keys from London’s desk. “I need a phone,” he muttered. “Text me the address.”
“I’m coming with you,” I answered.
He stopped as he began to walk past and back out into the hall. “No, you’re not.”
“It’s not negotiable,” I insisted.
He spun, agony and desperation all over his face. “You’re that goddamn desperate to get yourself killed?”
That was the actual fear. Movement at the corner of my eye drew my gaze as Carven approached. He looked pissed off…really pissed off…but stopped to cross his arms over his chest and lean against the wall, enjoying the goddamn show.
I thought if anyone was going to help me make Colt see reason, it was the one person he loved the most. But one look at that cold, bottomless stare, and I knew I was wrong.
“You know how dangerous I am,” Colt added. “You know I could be violent at any minute.”
“Yes, I do.” I took a step closer. “I also know that even if you do…become not yourself, I can handle it. I know what I’m dealing with.”
“And the baby,” Carven snarled, glaring at me. “Are you prepared to risk the life of our child, as well?”
Warmth drained out of me. The baby…
Carven knew?
“The baby?” Colt croaked. “Jesus, that’s right…you’re pregnant.”
Carven pushed off the wall and strode toward me. “Any of us could be the father.
I scowled, turning around to face London.
“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ,” Colt looked like he was about to pass out.
“So how do you know if Colt lashes out, he’s not going to hurt you?”
I froze…my heart racing. I prayed to God I was right and the mental calculations I’d made were correct. “Because I’m about ninety-nine percent certain Colt is the father.”
