I will have this moment. But once this moment passes, that’s it.
I told myself I wouldn’t get to this point with her, but I’ve denied the feeling for too long. Lust. Longing. She is the sexiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes upon, and now I’ve had a taste, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough.
She tastes so fucking good. Like strawberries and coconut.
I move my legs out from between hers and lift her body up so she’s on her knees.
“No, Mikhail, not like that,” she begs.
I halt. “How?” There’s something strange about the way she’s speaking to me.
“I want to see you.”
Missionary. I don’t care how I fuck her—I just need my dick inside her right now. This is the only time I plan on being with her, so it doesn’t matter to me.
But it will to her. She’s the first woman who’s ever demanded to look at me while I fuck her.
She sits up from the bed and tugs on my belt like she did a moment ago. I take everything off and pull her close. Her eyes widen slightly as my dick springs out. She lowers herself down my body and her hands trail my chest. She wants to take me in her mouth, but she’s hesitant.
“Take it,” I demand, gathering her hair and wrapping it around my hand.
She looks up at me with bright doe eyes. “I’ve never—”
She’s never gone down on a man before?
“Just start slow,” I tell her.
Her full lips part as she licks the tip, slowly allowing more of me to enter her mouth. It takes every ounce of self-control not to fuck her right now. But she wants to do this her way, and I’ll let her.
Her lips tighten around me, and I almost come. She has no idea what she does to me. If she did, she would have done this a while ago just to get under my skin.
“Fuck . . .” I gape as my head falls slowly between my shoulders.
Her eyes start to water as she takes every inch of me in her throat. She’s already got me close, and that’s fucking embarrassing.
I pull her head back by her hair and push her back down on the bed. If she kept looking at me the way she was I wouldn’t last.
I push her legs open and align my dick with her entrance.
“Condom,” she blurts.
“I’m not using a fucking condom with you,” I grit. “I want to feel every inch of you on me.”
This is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever done. I always use a condom. But it’s different with her. I don’t want anything separating her body from mine.
She pulls me down onto her. Her small body could be crushed by my frame, but she’s just as eager as me. Her pale skin feels softer than silk. Her fingers dig into my back as she pulls my lips down onto hers. I bite down on her bottom lip, drawing blood. Her tongue finds mine as our lips work one another’s.
I push myself inside her, and her body tenses. I should have given her a warning.
“So fucking wet,” I tell her, breaking the kiss.
Then I thrust my dick deep, but something isn’t right. She’s too tense. I pause and pull out.
Blood.
Sloane is a virgin.
“Shto eto?” What is this? “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me, Sloane?”
Her eyes wander everywhere, refusing to look at me.
“Look at me,” I demand, taking my hand to her jaw and forcing her to meet my eye.
“You wouldn’t have done it if I told you,” she stammers.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t have.” My brow furrows. “Not like this. I would have taken my time with you.”
It makes sense and it doesn’t. The way she spoke to me—she sounded experienced.
She rolls her eyes at me and grabs her shirt, getting off the bed.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“To get water or something, I don’t know.”
“You walk out of that door and you’ll be dealing with a different version of me.”
She walks back over to the bed, and I pull her in by her arm.
“Arms up.” I grab the bottom of her shirt and lift it off. “Lie down,” I tell her. Then I climb on top of her, kissing her neck. “Just relax. You’re too tense.” I rub her clit gently, teasing her entrance. She’s turned on—I can tell by how my fingers glide into her pussy without effort.
Her response to my touch is undeniable. Her soft whimpers make me eager. Once we’re back to where we left off, I slowly watch my length disappear inside her. Her pussy grabs onto my dick with each small motion. It’s as if she were made for me.
“Go faster,” she pleads.
“You’ll only hurt yourself.”
“Please,” she pleads.
My chest begins to pound as I dive into her faster. I bring my lips down to hers, and she crashes onto me. Her kisses are full of angst, need. She whimpers in my mouth and digs her nails into my back from my shoulders all the way down. She’s inflicting pain on me now. “If you leave scratches on my back, I’ll leave marks on your neck.”
“Is that a threat or a challenge?” she asks as her nails dig in deeper, and I move to her neck, biting and sucking on her skin.
I’ve been waiting for her to feel something for me, and now she does, I can’t hold back. I want my body scarred with marks from her nails. Her smell is fucking intoxicating. I’ll never be able to forget it.
“Oh God.” She brings her hand over her mouth to muffle her moans.
I can hardly control my breathing as I pound into her. I watch her breasts move with every thrust I take.
I tear her hand away from her lips and hold her hands above her head. “Let me fucking hear how I make you feel,” I demand.
She cries out in pleasure, and that alone makes it hard to hold back.
I never look at women when I fuck them, but I look her right in the eyes and feel the need to never look away. This isn’t the same girl who spent her days sulking in the room; this is a girl I can see by my side. She’s finally matching my energy, and it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever known.
She tries to turn her face away from me, but I pull her back. She’s fucking beautiful. Her cheeks are rosy, and her dark lashes reach up to her brows. I thrust in and out of her, trying to pace myself to make sure she isn’t in pain. I slow down when I feel her pussy clenching around my dick.
Her hands find my back again, and I throw her legs to the side and push on her pelvis so she comes harder. She rolls her hips in reaction.
I hold onto her body, noticing we’re in sync.
I’ve always been able to last, but she pushes me to the edge quickly. I dive deep and tighten my grip on her thighs as I spill inside of her.
Sloane moves her legs so they’re wrapped around my body. I bring my lips to her neck and bite down gently.
This woman is mine, and only mine.
I pull out of her. My cum drips out of her pussy, and I use my fingers to shove it back inside.
She tries to get up, but I force her to lie back down. “I need to clean up,” she says, trying to move.
“Not while my cum is inside you.” I pull her closer to me so her head is laying on my chest.
In a matter of minutes, her breathing slows as she falls asleep. The tip of my fingers brush in small circles on her back, and I stop when I notice exactly what I’m doing.
I’m fucked.
I’m woken up by a gentle slap on my face, and my eyes widen when I see Max hovering above my body like he belongs in my fucking bedroom.
I don’t bother looking back at Sloane. I know she’s fast asleep by the quiet snore that falls from her lips. A sleeping beauty.
Instead, I throw off the covers and grab Max by the neck, pushing him out of the bedroom. There’s a heavy stomp in my walk, and he has a smile the entire time my hands are on him. “The fuck is your issue?” I ask as I close the door behind me. “The woman lying in my bed is mine. Do you want to take one last good look before I pluck your eyes from their sockets?” I gesture to the doorknob.
“I think you could benefit from therapy,” he mutters before handing me a box. “There might be two parts in your brain that just aren’t connecting.”
I watch him get lost his thoughts and make a face at him. “What is wrong with you?”
He pushes me in the shoulder. “Why do you have to be so hateful?” he asks, but he decides putting a smile on his face will soften his words.
“You’re not her—the fuck do I need to be nice for?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Mikhail. Maybe because I’m the best friend you’ll ever have? Anyway, open the box. You’ll love the surprise, you sick fuck.”
I’d roll my eyes if I hadn’t given Sloane a lecture about the action.
Lifting off the top, I’m hit with an overwhelming smell. Picking up the hand that rests on top of some tissue paper by the finger, I notice it belongs to one of my men. I know it’s from one of my men because of the tattoo on the finger.
“Christ,” I mutter, putting it back down.
“There’s a note,” Max says as if this is an easy conversation to have. He calls me the sick fuck, but I think that title belongs to him.
Written on the notepaper is an address. If I remember correctly, it’s the address of a church. Very fitting.
This is all Lev’s fault. He decided to handle shit in the open, and now we’re left defenseless against Giovanni. He knows where I am now. Staying hidden was the only upper hand I had against the fucker.
I make an annoyed sound. Before I can speak up, Max does first. “I take it you want me to watch the woman lying in your bed?”
“If you try anything,” I threaten him even though I know it’s useless. He hasn’t been able to look at another woman in years because he only wants one.
He rubs the top of my head, and I swat his arm away. “I’m going to get so cozy in your fancy Egyptian cotton sheets.” He laughs. “Remember you can only win something if there are risks.”
Leave it to Max to say some inspirational bullshit right after saying something dumb. “Good thinking,” I say sarcastically and glare at him.
I open the door and head to the closet, ready to change into proper attire. Max follows me inside with his arms crossed. He flashes me a wicked smile as he stands at the end of the bed. He has a death wish.
“You’re behaving like a fucking child,” I whisper.
His brows rise and he glances at Sloane. “You keep doing her and you’ll have one.”
“Enough,” I mutter.
I tuck my gun in the waistband of my pants and leave the room. Making my way down the halls, I bang on Lev and Dimitri’s doors and yell for them to meet me downstairs. I decide not to bring Adrian because he’s already had a bad experience with Giovanni. I don’t need him and his grudge to ruin my plans.
Starting the car, I wait impatiently for them to get themselves together. My fingers tap on the steering wheel when Lev and Dimitri open the car doors.
“Why are we meeting at the butt crack of dawn?” Dimitri asks while he rubs sleep from his eyes.
“Look in the box,” I say, shifting the car into drive.
I hear the box rustle, and they both make a gagging noise. “Yeah, Giovanni says ‘hello.’”
“That’s one hell of a greeting,” Lev murmurs.
We drive for a while until we finally make it to the address on the card. At first I thought it was an odd place to meet up, but now I understand. The church is the one place men like us don’t bring our guns.
It could be a trap, so I’ll keep Dimitri outside just in case.
On top of the church, gold crosses are placed on marble pillars. Intricate details are engraved in the stone, leaving the landscape looking dull. Dead trees and shriveled bushes line the walls. Iron gates cage the church, making it difficult to escape.
I look at my men. “No guns inside the building. Lev stays with me.”
They nod in agreement.
I walk past the gate and enter the church. Colors flood the walls, and large chandeliers hang from the ceiling. Giovanni’s right there, sitting with his head bowed as if he’s praying.
“Interesting,” I say.
He stands from the seat, making his way over to me. “Where is she?”
I stand in the middle of the aisle and hold my hands in front of me. “Where is who?”
His men, Enzo and Carlo, walk a couple of steps behind him. “My sister. Where is she?” he asks in a rough tone.
Does he not know she’s in the house? No. He assumed I’d move Sloane after I became aware he knew where I was residing. But really, all he had to do was have his men enter the house. Why the fuck is he in charge of his people? He can’t even think his plans through correctly.
“What makes you think I have her?”
“Damn it, Mikhail. If you fucking hurt her—”
“If I hurt her, what?” I interrupt. “You don’t even know her. Shit, Giovanni, you had all the resources to find her, but you didn’t. You took your sweet time looking for her. If she’s so important to you, how did I get her first?” A smug smile crosses my face, only frustrating him even more. Anger is getting the better of him—I can see it in his eyes.
“What do you want? You want money?”
I want my land.
“Money?” I laugh. “What makes you think I want your money?” I step toward him. “No, I don’t want a goddamn thing from you.”
His hand reaches behind him slowly.
“I wouldn’t do that.”
I can tell Giovanni is used to how Kirill handled things, but my brother and I are very different. Kirill would have taken the money and got on with his day, but I won’t make a deal until I’ve made Giovanni sweat. I want to show up in his nightmares. I don’t want him to feel a moment of peace. While he’s lying awake at night wondering how he’s going to get his sister, I’ll be taking back what’s mine. I will have my section of the city by the end of this.
“If you deliver another body part, expect one of your sister’s in return.”
He straightens his back. He’s growing nervous. “You wouldn’t hurt her. You need her as leverage.”
“It’s almost as if . . . that’s the whole point,” I say with a smile. “That’s why it’s called leverage. As long as I have her, you can’t really do anything, can you?”
My feelings for Sloane don’t make any sense to me, but that doesn’t mean my threats can’t be empty. He needs to get the hell out of here and run back home to his precious wife. He came all the way here for nothing. There’s no way in hell I’m giving him his sister.
“If Sloane is leverage, it means you want something. Just tell me what you want,” he says, sounding annoyed.
“Jesus fucking Christ, do I really have to hear this shit again?” I ask as a cruel laugh slips past my lips. “Do you honestly think I came here to hear you out? See what it was that you had to offer me?”
He begins to talk, but I shut him up.
“You sorry shits have no idea how good this feels for my ego,” I mutter to him and his men as I place my hand on his shoulder. “Get some sleep. You look like you need it.”
I turn around on my heel. Just as I’m about to leave the building, I turn around slowly. “Oh, Giovanni,” I mutter.
He stands with his hands by his sides. His jaw ticks as he challenges me with his eyes.
“Give Nina my best.”
The second I set foot in the house, I see Sloane standing in all her glory, crazy hair bundled on top of her head. She’s holding a bag in her hands, and she walks up to me and shoves everything into my arms.
“When you leave, you take me with you,” she demands. “It’s six in the morning and I woke up next to Max! Why?”
The bag is heavy, full of her things. I never expected Sloane to have a getaway bag . . . I can’t help but feel intrigued.
I look down at her and smile. The little devil is becoming more and more like me each day that passes. “I had a meeting,” I tell her.
“And you couldn’t tell me that?”
“Yes, I could’ve—” I start, but I’m quickly shut up by her argumentative voice. She starts to ramble on about how I can’t just leave her alone because I’m the only connection she has to her family. I feel bad, but then I remember all the cruel things she’s said to me. While some of them may have been deserved, I do feel she can take it too far at times.
I want to talk back to her and tell her I can do whatever I want, but then I remember what Max just told me. I have to listen while I still can.
Standing in front of her with my arms filled with her things, I listen to her completely shit on my existence and find it incredibly sexy of her. As she starts to run out of breath, I laugh loudly, the sound shocking both of us.
“You think this is funny?” she challenges.
“I never said it was funny.” I lick my lips, trying to wipe the smile from my face.
“My family needs to know where I am, Mikhail. This has gone on for too long.”
“All right,” I tell her.
She crosses her arms and gives me a questioning glare. “All right then.”
I step close to her and pull her bottom lip with my thumb. “And here I was thinking it’s because you wanted to be by my side.”
“It’s embarrassing how much you care, truly,” she says with an attitude.
“Did I say I care?” I question.
“You care enough to answer.”
The corner of my lip rises more, becoming a wicked smirk. “You’re right,” I admit.
“Maybe sleeping with you wasn’t the worst thing ever.”
I stare up at the ceiling and swear under my breath.
“If you expect to be heard, you shouldn’t mumble,” she mocks.
“You should watch your tone with me, Koldunya, or your punishment will change, and I promise you won’t be able to endure it.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” She straightens her posture and holds out her hand. “Phone,” she says.
My tongue rolls over my teeth and I reach into my pocket for my phone. “You know his number? If not, it should be saved under ‘the help.’”
Her eyes lift with anger as she snatches the phone from my hands. I don’t blame her for wanting to keep her family updated.
I don’t mind her talking to them, but she will stay with me for as long as I want.
She turns away from me as if that’ll give her some privacy. “Hi!” she practically screeches, making my eardrums pound. “Well, actually.”
I watch her lips lift with a gentle smile. I want to make her smile like that, but it’ll never happen. Whatever she and I are will only last for a little while longer. We were doomed from the start, and I need to start pulling myself away. If I keep allowing her to dig past my walls, it’ll be fucking difficult to build them back up.
Sighing, I walk over to the couch and take a seat.
“Yeah. He had someone named Knox come help,” she explains to her father. She looks at me and back to the floor, then right back at me. “He wants to talk to you,” she whispers, covering the phone.
I lean back in my chair and hold out my hand. “Give it.”
Sloane does as she’s told.
Lifting the phone to my ear, I hear Ludis arguing with one of Sloane’s brothers in the background. “Ludis, how’s life treating you?”
“What are you doing with my daughter? If you put a fucking hand on her, I swear to—”
I cut him off. “You’ll see her again, don’t worry. She’s safe with me.”
His voice is coated with anger and regret. He’s angry with himself for letting Sloane out of his sight. He’s treated her like a princess locked in a tower her entire life, and that’s not the life she deserves. She needs to see the world. I can tell she craves experience.
“She is kind, Mikhail. She doesn’t deserve to be under your cloud of fucking gloom.”
“Ouch, my feelings,” I say, standing up from the chair to walk away from Sloane so she won’t hear our conversation. “She deserves many things, including knowing the truth about her family.”
Quickly, the phone goes silent on his end.
“You know, Giovanni, Mirabella . . . the whole reason the three families don’t get along anymore . . .”
“What did Pavel tell you before he passed?” he asks.
This time I go silent. He has no fucking right to talk about my father. “You will not speak of him.”
“For how calculated you make yourself out to be, you really aren’t, are you?”
Jesus, this man is shooting me through the phone. “You’ll be seeing me soon. And it won’t be to give your daughter back.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” he asks warily.
“I fucked your daughter, Koziov. She’s mine now.”
He grunts through the phone. I can tell by the static sound he’s trying to crush it in his hands.
“Oh, I’m sorry. We made love.”
“You touched my daughter?” he sneers.
“Maybe I didn’t, but even if I did, it’s not like you could do anything about it.” I hang up and put the phone in my pocket. Turning back to the seating area, I find Sloane standing right by my side.
“Did you just end the call? I hardly got to talk to him.”
“He misses you dearly.”
Her feet grow roots, blocking my way. “I want to say some really not-nice things to you right now.” Her lips press together, creating a fine line.
I knew the sass was coming soon enough. “Say them,” I muse.
“I fucking hate you.”
Stepping closer to her, I say, “That’s not what you were saying when you came on my tongue.” Grabbing onto her waist, I pull her into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I’d be damned if one of my men walked in on us. Her back falls into the marbled wall and her hands grab my chest, pulling me closer. This whole “I hate you” thing is just one of her acts. I know she wants me; she just doesn’t want to admit it. She’ll press her lips to mine, dig her nails into my back, and come on my dick, but she will never bring those words into existence.
“I think I’m a bad influence on you,” I mutter in her ear.
“I don’t fucking care,” she says strongly.
My lips drop but lift quickly when I smile. “You’re even swearing like me now.”
“You’re my only social interaction. You’re like my shadow, constantly following me.”
“And you’re my North Star, always pointing me in the right direction.”
Her brow furrows. “Sappy isn’t a cute look on you,” she says, pulling on the necklace I made for her.
“Eager isn’t a cute look on you,” I bite back.
She leans off the wall and pushes me against the sink. “I can walk out that door easily.”
“Do it then.”
Her head falls to the side as if I insulted her. She walks to the door, and I pull her back, crashing my lips onto hers.
“Fuck you,” I murmur.
My hands snake to the small of her back and I pull her onto the counter. Her tongue fights mine aggressively. She kisses me as if she’s had all the practice in the world. She’s a quick learner. Her lips find my neck, and she sucks on it.
“Kroshka, what are you doing?”
She bites down, gently nibbling my skin. Her small hands venture to my back, untucking my shirt and pulling it up. “Take it off,” she says.
“You’re demanding things of me that I can’t resist.”
“Take it off,” she demands again.
Quickly taking off my shirt, I let it fall to the ground while I pull her sweatpants down from her waist. Before I can help her with her shirt, she pulls it off in one swift motion. I lift her off the ground and set her down on the counter. Wrapping her hair around my wrist, I pull her head back and trail my tongue down her chest.
“One question,” I say roughly. “You want it?”
Her eyes widen, dark lashes fluttering, and her cheeks quickly turn pink. She nods, pressing her lips together.
Good.
Grabbing onto her, I turn her waist so she’s facing the sink and kneel to the floor. Her pussy is dripping for me. I love that I hardly have to touch her and she’s already craving me just as much as I crave her. My hands hold onto her hips, and I pull her down onto my face. She’s hesitant, but she allows me to guide her body.
The moment my tongue touches her clit I feel her legs threatening to give out on her. I could lick her for hours on end and never tire of her taste. It’s addicting.
She is addicting.
She struggles to keep herself up, but I kind of want her arms to give out. “I can’t,” she moans.
“You can.”
She knows she can. Her body wants to crumble, and it’s the sexiest thing I know.
A groan escapes my throat when I feel her pussy throbbing on my tongue.
“Fuck,” she whimpers.
Standing up slowly, I lick her off my lips and unzip my pants. “Grab onto the counter,” I demand.
She does as I say and pushes her ass closer to me impatiently.
“Are you still sore?” I ask.
She nods. “My body will work it out.”
I line myself against her and push in slowly. It takes all of me to control my pace with her. I want to fuck her as if I’ll never see her again. The way her pussy clings to me makes me want to come instantly.
“Look at yourself,” I mumble while I push in and out of her.
Lifting her head up, she looks at herself in the mirror.
“You’re everything,” I say. I wrap my hand around her neck and bring her lips to mine.
“Harder, Mikhail.”
“So fucking demanding.”
Doing what she wants, I slam into her quickly. I bring my lips to her back, holding in the urge to kiss every part of her body. I want to claim her as mine in every possible way. I’ve never felt so infatuated with a person before—it takes over every thought I have. I don’t even remember why the fuck I’m always mad at her.
A loud pounding on the door startles her, and her mouth drops open.
“I need to pee, Mikhail!” Dimitri’s voice floods the room. There are ten other bathrooms in this fucking house—why does he need this one?
“Focus,” I say, turning Sloane’s face back to the mirror. “You’re in here with me.”
When she pushes her ass out further, I bite down on my bottom lip to keep myself from coming, but the moment I feel her pulsating on my dick, I pull out and let everything drip onto her ass.
“You feel so good,” she says, turning to me and pulling my lips to hers. She kisses me eagerly, like she can’t get enough.
I lift her chin and place a kiss on her forehead, but I don’t bother to tell her how good she feels too.
Before I dress myself, I take a washcloth and wipe her down. I almost came inside of her again. I need to gain a bit of fucking control.
She glares at me, and I open the door for her. Dimitri’s leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Sloane slips past us, probably embarrassed.
“Are you kidding?” he asks.
“I plan to fuck her on every surface I can find.”
“That’ll take you a while,” he laughs.
“I have all the time in the world.”
“Move and let me fucking pee,” he says, pushing me out of the doorway. “And look at your computer. I pulled up some documents for you to review.”
“The documents never end.”
Stepping out of the hallway, I find Sloane sitting in my seat with a romance book in her hands. She looks up at me and flips me the bird.
She’s cute when she’s mad—even if she has nothing to be mad about.
I step toward her and place a kiss on the tip of her middle finger. “That’s cute,” I say, turning to look at the things Dimitri was nagging me about.
I’m doing more than my father wanted. He’d be proud of me. Kirill is probably rolling in his grave, pissed at me for taking what was supposed to be his.
Then again, he’s probably proud too.
I’m taking what Giovanni wants.
The day flew past me while I sorted through everything Dimitri gave to me. I stared at the screen for hours before everything started to look like it was copied and pasted. While I tried to focus, I could only think about what Ludis said to me. It almost sounded like a threat . . . like I don’t know what I’m doing. But I do, and I’ll be damned if he’s the one to make me question myself.
I asked Sloane if she wanted to share dinner with me, but she denied me. She’s getting too comfortable in this house and with everyone in it. That pisses me off in a strange way. She found a way to weasel her way into my life without me even noticing.
Max loves her, and they’ve hardly fucking talked. Dimitri does too. The only person I can rely on is Lev. His head is so far up his ass he doesn’t even care about what’s going on around him. At times, I think he cares about my plan more than I do.
I’ve never had someone irritate me more than Sloane does. But I can’t seem to get enough of the mouth she has. I want to hear more from her.
I stare at the ceiling trying to figure her out, but that’s an impossible task. Leaning on my elbows, I look at the clock on the nightstand. Three in the morning and she hasn’t left my thoughts.
I throw the sheets off my body and make my way to the kitchen for a glass of water and a sleeping pill. I don’t normally need pills to put my mind and body to sleep, but I do tonight because of her. When I close my eyes, I can see her vividly. It pisses me off.
I step off the bottom of the stairs and I’m stopped by the sight of Sloane in the kitchen. She’s wearing a large knit sweater and shorts that show every curve of her ass. Her head shakes as she looks back and forth in the fridge.
Fuck me, she’s gorgeous.
What she’s cooking smells good—I don’t know how I didn’t smell it before I got down here. I had no idea she knew how to cook like Mia does.
I take a couple of quiet steps into the kitchen until the island is the only thing separating us. Her body lifts up and down as she hums to a song that sounds familiar, but I can’t remember the lyrics. It’s a song my sister sings all the time.
A lover of music.
“You are all I long for,” she sings so gently I almost can’t hear her, but she sounds angelic. “No, she wouldn’t add this,” she says in her normal tone.
Is she talking to me, or is she slowly losing her mind?
“Yes, she would. She always uses garlic.”
Why the hell is this woman cooking so early in the morning? Is eating a meal with me really that insufferable?
She turns her body in a small twirl, her eyes closed.
Seeing her in this moment is like a breath of fresh air. With everyone else, it’s always business, but she is true to who she is. Sure, she’s a lot to put up with, but there’s something about this moment that makes me forget all her snide remarks. The way she moves her body—it’s as if she doesn’t care who’s watching.
Koldunya.
I want my hands on her every hour of every day, and that’s the most terrifying thought I’ve ever had. It’s like I’m trying to justify my thoughts about her. I’m interested in her, but I can’t stand her—as if that makes my thoughts any clearer.
I move closer to her, unable to stand the distance between us anymore, until her back is only a few inches from me. My hands find her waist and I dig my thumbs into her sides gently. My touch startles her, but she welcomes it.
“What are you doing, Koldunya?”
Her head falls to the side when my mouth comes near her neck. I can feel how warm her skin is even though my lips aren’t even touching her.
“We’re going to talk about what I’m doing?”
“I could get used to this,” I admit.
Her left hand wraps around mine as I tighten my hold on her. She stirs the sauce with her free arm and ignores my comment—which doesn’t shock me. She doesn’t want to let go of her stubbornness as much as I don’t want to let go of mine, but I will for tonight. For her. Tomorrow, things can go back to normal.
Talking to Sloane reminds me of gambling. You throw in cash and say, “I’m done after this one,” but that’s a lie. You can’t help but want to see if one more try will increase your chances, but it never does. That’s why it’s an addiction.
If I try once more with Sloane, I’ll stop. Things can go back to the way they were meant to be. But for tonight I just want to let go. I want to be in this moment with her.
I close my eyes when I smell the shampoo on her damp hair. “Who taught you how to cook this?”
“Ingret did. She’s the closest thing I have to a mother.”
Does she know my brother is the one who took her mother from her? A wave of unease battles in my stomach. Why am I suddenly feeling accountable for my brother’s actions? “She raised you?” I ask.
Sloane doesn’t answer right away, but she nods a moment later. I can tell it brings her pain to be away from her family, but I can’t think about that.
Her hand leaves mine and reaches for a small spoon by the side of the stove. She dips the metal into the sauce and tastes it. “It’s missing something, but I can’t put my finger on what.”
“Salt?” I ask even though I haven’t tasted it. “Pepper? Onion powder?”
“No,” she mumbles. She leaves my arms and opens the spice cabinet. “Can you try it? Maybe you’ll figure it out if you taste it.” She nods to herself as if she’s answering for me.
Sloane brings the spoon to my lips, but I don’t open my mouth. The memory of her throwing the soup I made all over my face washes over me. Her eyes search mine, probably coming up with a bunch of rude comments.
“Try it again,” I tell her. “I want to taste it from your lips.”
She looks at me as if I’ve committed the darkest crime imaginable. As she brings the spoon to her lips her eyes fall to mine. I grab the silverware from her hands and place it on the counter behind her. Then I bring my hand to her face, pushing down on her bottom lip.
“Mikhail,” she says softly . . . as if she’s asking me if I’m sure.
I trail my fingers up her arm then down the side of her body so gently I see her skin creating goose bumps. “Don’t talk,” I say before I pull her face toward mine.
She opens her mouth for me, her tongue finding mine. Her kisses start off as gentle and cautious, but they begin to ask for more. My hands grab onto her waist, pulling her close, but not close enough. I want to bury myself in her warmth. I want to forget about all the ways I’ve wronged her. I want her to forget them. But only in this moment, and this moment alone.
Just one last taste.
“Let go,” I tell her. “Let your guard down for me, just for tonight.”
Her fingers thread through my hair, pulling on the strands gently. Is this her way of letting go? I want to know everything she has to give. All the best parts as much as the worst.
She moans into my mouth, and I nearly lose it. I hold onto her tighter even though that should be impossible. I can feel how hard she’s breathing from the way her breasts press against my chest. Her sweater is the only thing parting her skin from mine.
Sloane lifts to her toes to reach me better. She deepens the kiss, her tongue fighting with mine. I never thought a kiss could say things words never could.
But then she pulls back from me and looks away. That look tells me too much.
It’s a look of regret.
“I can’t,” she says.
I nod even though she can’t see me. Without a second glance or thought, I turn away from her and make my way back to the stairs.
“Thyme,” I tell her before I walk up the steps. “You’re missing thyme.”
