My head pounds as I slowly begin to wake up the next morning. I slowly peel my eyes open, feeling the burn from the sun that shines brightly through the apartment windows.
“Fuck,” I mumble, pulling a pillow over my face to block out the light. It’s too much and a wave of nausea rolls through my stomach. I drank a lot more than I planned last night and I’m really regretting it right now.
I don’t fully remember getting back here and I sure as hell don’t remember ending up on the couch. It’s been my new bed so it’s not surprising, but it’s too quiet in the apartment. Something feels weird and off. Pulling the pillow away from my face, I squint my eyes against the sunlight and my head screams in protest as I sit up.
It feels like I was hit by an eighteen-wheeler and I can feel it in every fiber of my body. I don’t know the last time I felt hungover like this but in this moment, I swear I will never drink again. Jesus Christ.
Turning around on the couch, I glance over at the bed, expecting to see Stella, but she isn’t there. The covers are thrown back in a haste, like she quickly climbed out of bed in a rush. I instantly get a head-rush as I turn to look around the rest of the studio apartment. I can see every part of it from where I’m sitting.
And there isn’t a single sign of Stella.
The bathroom door is open, so I know she isn’t in there. Panic washes over me, mixing with a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Where the hell is she?
It’s a Saturday morning. Unless she went for a walk, I have no idea where she would be. Grabbing my phone, I check to see if she texted me to let me know, but there’s nothing from her. It takes every ounce of energy that I can muster to get off the couch and walk around the apartment.
As I walk toward the bedroom, that’s when reality slaps me in the fucking face.
She’s gone.
All of her things are gone. My feet move quickly, carrying me over to her dresser. I rip open drawer after drawer, the wood creaking and breaking as I do, and I find each and every one empty. Looking under the bed, I see that her suitcase is gone.
I jump up, ignoring the way the room spins and bile rises in my throat. I move around the apartment frantically, looking for any sign of hope that maybe—maybe—she didn’t actually leave.
Everything is gone from the bathroom. And when I step into the kitchen, my entire world crumbles to my feet as I see her key sitting right next to mine on the counter. I can’t stop the bile as it quickly rises and I rush over to the sink, reaching it just in time to spill the contents of my stomach down the drain.
I don’t stop until I’m bent over, dry heaving. My stomach lurches until there’s nothing left to come out. My entire chest is on fire and my throat burns from the damage I’ve just done to it. Combined with all the alcohol I drank last night and finding Stella gone, there was no way I could have stopped it from happening.
I’m out of breath as I stand upright and run the water, rinsing my mouth out before wiping it with a paper towel. Turning around, I press my back against the counter and let myself slide down the cabinets until I’m sitting on the floor. Folding my legs, my knees are by my face and I hang my head heavily between them.
“Where the hell did you go, angel?” I mumble out loud as I pull out my phone and scroll through it. I find the message thread between us and send her at least five in a row. Each one simply just says delivered.
Tapping on her name, I press the phone icon to try and call her. It goes directly to voicemail.
“Fuck!” I yell out, chucking my phone across the room. It hits the back of the couch and falls to the floor with a loud thud. I don’t even care. The entire screen could be shattered and the damn thing could stop working.
It doesn’t fucking matter, not if Stella is gone.
“What do you mean you don’t know where she went?” Olivia questions me through the phone. Sterling was the first person I could think to call. Stella is his sister and his fiancée is Stella’s best friend. One of them has to know where she is.
“I woke up and she was gone.”
Olivia is silent for a beat and Sterling still hasn’t said anything. “Okay… do you remember anything that happened last night? Why would she just up and leave like that?”
I’m sitting on the couch and I rest my forehead against my palm with my elbow propped up on my knee. “I was upset about how things were between us and I went to the bar and got shit-faced. I honestly don’t remember much of what happened after I got home. Just bits and pieces.”
“Well, what happened? Maybe that can give us an idea of where she might be.”
This is the second time I’m on the phone with Olivia today. I called her a little bit ago and she promptly tried to call Stella, but she ran into the same issue that I did. Her phone is still turned off. Sterling reached out to their mother but she hadn’t heard from Stella either.
Sitting in silence, I close my eyes as I replay the night before through my mind. It’s like quickly scrolling through a video tape that had been damaged. I don’t remember a lot of what was said between the two of us. Hell, there’s a lot of gaps, thanks to the alcohol, but there’s one thing that sticks out in my mind.
And as soon as I remember the words, I instantly regret them and hate myself.
“Fuck…”
“What is it?” Olivia questions me with panic in her voice.
I swallow roughly and open my eyes, staring blankly at the wall across from me. “I told her that she should just go back to California.”
Sterling finally speaks and tense tone slices through the silence. “Why the hell would you do that?”
He has every right to be pissed off at me right now. Hell, I’m equally mad at myself for what I said to her. And that’s just the one thing that sticks out in my mind. I know I told her I was in love with her, but that doesn’t even matter at this point. I’m sure me telling her to leave practically washed away me professing my love for her.
I’ve never felt more regret in my entire life before. “I don’t fucking know,” I admit with a defeated sigh. “I was drunk and I guess I let my emotions get the better of me. I have no clue why I would say something that goddamn stupid.”
“Yeah, and you should know Stella well enough by now to know she took that to heart.” Olivia pauses for a brief second, whispering something to Sterling in the background. “She may act like she doesn’t care about stuff sometimes, but her hearing that probably made her run.”
“You’re a fucking idiot,” Sterling scoffs. “You better make it up to her, Simon. I’m not blind or stupid. I’ve known about the two of you since that one night when you went upstairs together. Stella and I might not always get along, but she’s my sister. I have no problem fucking you up if you fuck her over.”
Sterling is right, but I was too drunk last night to think about it. Although the thought had definitely crossed my mind this past week, it’s not something I planned to ever say to Stella. It wasn’t a thought that I would have actually entertained enough to wish it into existence.
Abruptly, I rise to my feet, putting Olivia and Sterling’s call on speakerphone as I walk over to the bedroom area. Grabbing a backpack from under the bed, I begin to throw clothing into it. I take the bag in my hand and move around my apartment, grabbing the essentials I will need. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but a change or two of clothes should be enough.
“Are you still there?” Olivia’s voice breaks through the silence.
“Yep, I’m just packing some shit.”
She’s silent for a fraction of a second. “What are you doing, Simon?”
Picking up my phone, I open a new tab in Safari and begin to search for flights. I find the first one that’s leaving from the closest airport and select it. It leaves in approximately two hours so I need to hightail it to the airport.
“I’m going to California and getting my girl back.”
“Don’t fuck this up, Simon,” Sterling warns me.
Fuck this hockey camp. Fuck the tournaments that are set to begin in literally two days’ time. The only thing that matters right now is making things right with Stella, and hopefully winning her back.
“Don’t worry,” I assure him. “I won’t.”
I’m about to play the most important game of my life.
And I play to fucking win.
