OLIVIA
I’M sure I’m not entirely in my right mind.
It’s part alcohol, but mostly delirious, undeniable attraction to the man currently standing behind me, slack-jawed at the sight before him.
The sight is me, braless, asking him to take my dress off.
And in case he’s not certain of what I’m asking, I place his hands on my hips, sliding them up to the dip of my waist as my bottom lip slides between my teeth.
“Guess you can just slip it off then.”
Who am I? I don’t know. A girl who’s going to take life by the balls, I guess. Or rather, Carter Beckett. I’m going to take Carter Beckett by the balls.
Like I said, I’m not sure I’m all there right now. This feels like something I might regret in the morning, one of those stupid decisions Cara warned me about before walking out of here.
But the thing is…I want him. I like him, as much as I know I shouldn’t. Because this can only end one way: me, heartbroken and disappointed, potentially crying into a Big Mac or a vat of cookie dough. Maybe both.
Preferably both.
I guess I’ve decided the fallout is something I’m willing to deal with, because here I am in Carter’s bathroom, asking him to undress me.
Maybe it was his defeated expression when he talked about the lack of trust everyone has in him. Maybe it was him asking me to stay, promising me movies and breakfast. Maybe it was him sitting there next to me, talking to me, absolutely riveted while he listened to me speak. He wasn’t Carter Beckett, arrogant hockey phenomenon and ladies’ man. He was just…Carter.
And I like him that way, when all the walls fall away, something I’m willing to bet not many get to experience. Maybe that made me feel special. Maybe it put some stock in his words. Maybe…maybe I trust him a little more than I did when I walked through the front door several hours ago.
I don’t know. The only thing I do know is I can’t fight this anymore. I’m tired.
Carter’s hold on my waist tightens, squeezing, and I can’t help but marvel at how effortless it would be for him to wreck me in the most ravenous, drugging way. He’s barely touched me and I already want to come back for seconds.
His chest brushes my back, and I feel the weight of his apprehension with each staggering breath he takes as our gazes stay locked on each other’s reflection. I tip my head back, and when my fingers dance along the curve of his neck, he dips his face and smiles down at me.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and the moment I nod his mouth descends. It’s tender and soft, teasing and tasting, lingering, and I want more. More of this, more of him.
I sink my fingers into his silky waves, tugging him closer, and when his tongue laps at mine, he steals the whimper right from my throat.
His large hand slides up my belly, brushing my breasts before it wraps gently around my neck, fingers lightly pressing in as he keeps me there, like my mouth is his to explore.
When he breaks away, he forces my head up, something both dark and intoxicating in his gaze as it meets mine in the mirror, lulling me into a fake sense of security. I want him to have my body, and I want to pretend he knows how to keep all of it safe.
“Look at you,” he murmurs. “You’re so fucking small and delicate, I’m afraid I might break you.”
“I’m not made of glass, Carter. You don’t have to be gentle with me. In fact, I’d prefer if you weren’t.”
My ass is on the counter a second later, legs wrapped around his lean waist, my curls wrapped around his fist as he pulls my head taut. His mouth hovers so close to mine that I can’t tell who each erratic breath belongs to as we breathe each other in.
Rough fingers scrape up my thigh, slipping below the hem of my dress, pushing it up until it pools around my hips, and when he wraps a hand around my bare waist, my entire body trembles.
Carter’s heated gaze dips to the space between us, and his throat bobs. “Fuck,” he husks, staring down at the damp spot in the center of my panties. His gaze flips to mine as he slowly brushes his thumb over the nub that’s already cramping with need. When I whimper, his mouth crashes down on me.
He shifts against me, a slow grind that makes my head fall, opening up my neck to him as his mouth slides over my skin, hot, wet kisses that have my hips lifting, desperate for the friction of his thick weight between my legs. He gives it to me, hands sliding beneath me, kneading my ass, pulling me closer, and I want these layers gone.
Gentle nips trail my jaw until his lips find my ear. “If we do this, Olivia, there’s no going back.”
I don’t know what that means. No going back from what? If we do this, it’s the beginning of something. Something intimate and feral, and maybe something more, but more than likely, the beginning of the end.
A murmur of grief echoes in my chest, reminding me that this isn’t me, that I want so much more than fleeting nights and good-byes. The steady, quick thud of my heart tells me to give up the fight just for tonight, to embrace it for what it is: one night of guaranteed passion with the man I can’t stop thinking about.
Tucked deep below all that is the part of me with very real fears and insecurities, the part that’s been comparing myself to the women wrapped around his arm in every picture. That’s the part that’s likely to take over tomorrow when I’m sober, kick my inebriated self in the ass for making a decision that leads me further down the rabbit hole.
But the chemistry between us buzzes like a live wire, connecting us, making it impossible for me to think clearly right now. I know what I want, and what I want is this man—inside of me, all over me, taking, possessing, over and over again.
That’s probably why, “If you want me, you can have me,” is what comes out of my mouth.
With one fell swoop, I’m on my feet, back pressed to Carter’s firm body, my dress in the clawfoot tub in the corner of the bathroom, next to the immaculate glass shower. Rough hands slide down my arms, gripping my hips, fingernails biting into flesh as his gaze rakes over me like hot coals.
Soft lips press tender kisses across my shoulder, down the slope of my spine as Carter hooks his thumbs into my panties and slowly lowers himself to his knees, taking the blushing lace with him as he goes.
His warm mouth slides up the back of my thigh as he kneads my muscles, and when one hand slips between my legs where my heartbeat has found itself, I squeeze my eyes shut and hold onto the edge of the counter for dear life.
“You’re nervous,” Carter murmurs, splaying a hand over my lower belly as it quivers.
Nervous, drunk on raw desire, terrified of the generous helping of honest to goodness feelings that scare the shit out of me…All of it swirls inside me, grabbing hold of my heart, clenching it like a fist.
“Fucking stunning.” The words are a wonderous whisper as his fingers glide through the wetness spread between my thighs. He stands, kisses my neck, and holds my gaze. “Flawless.” The hand on my belly coasts up until it palms one breast, rolling my taut nipple. His teeth scrape my ear. “How wet are you?”
“Oh God.” My head lolls forward with a moan, and when he chuckles, I shiver. The answer is drenched, and he knows it. We can both feel it, the heat, the dampness that pools there. “Touch me,” I beg. “Please, Carter.”
His touch ghosts over the area I want him most, and he cups me in his hand, a silent mine that I don’t miss. “Look at me.” When I do, he drags his fingers through my slick folds before sinking one inside. “Fuck.” His mouth opens on my shoulder as I cry out his name. “Such a wet fucking pussy.”
His fingers wrap around my throat as he thrusts inside of me, an achingly slow plunge that has me pleading for more, faster, harder. Red heat claws up my chest, flooding my cheeks as flames spark in my stomach, making everything tingle and boil, like I’m teetering on the edge of a volcanic eruption.
I gasp when a second finger pushes inside, and everything feels tight in the most wonderful way as his hand moves, a steady drive that picks up speed, ferocity, until the heel of his palm slaps against my ass with each thrust.
Carter’s hand on my neck squeezes, a rumble in his chest as I take everything he gives me, including the words he forces down my throat when his mouth takes mine. “Good girl.”
Everything inside me comes to a rolling boil, spilling over, and Carter keeps me locked to his chest as he releases my neck to work the tight bundle of nerves at the cleft of my thighs, smiling against my skin when his name explodes off my lips.
Without hesitation, he bends and circles my knees, flinging me over his shoulder, ignoring my yelp. His hand covers my ass as he marches into the bedroom and tosses me down on the bed with a bounce. He smiles when I giggle, arms sweeping over the bedding as I bury my head in the fluffy pillows and moan.
“I never want to leave this bed.”
He tears his shirt overhead, steps out of his jeans, and crawls over me, kissing the corner of my mouth before I have time to admire how beautiful his body is. “So don’t. Think I could keep you forever.”
I bury the feeling that fuels in my chest and burns in my belly way down deep inside me, because that’s a dangerous thing to think he might mean. I may be slightly intoxicated, but after tonight, I’m 100 percent positive Carter Beckett is a man I could fall in love with.
I’m not a one-night stand girl; I’ve already said that. For me, sex comes after feelings. I might have failed to mention that I rarely catch feelings. It’s a blessing or a curse; I haven’t decided yet. I look for a real connection and those are hard to come by. It also means that in my twenty-five years I’ve only had sex with two men, quite the contrast from Carter’s list.
“Hey.” He sweeps my cheekbone, drawing my gaze to his. “Where’d you go? Kinda disappeared on me there.” Warm lips slide along my jaw until he buries his face in my hair. “And why the fuck do you always smell so good? Like banana bread, freshly baked. I wanna devour you.”
Desire takes flight like butterflies in my stomach, and a heavy ache thuds between my thighs.
“The only problem is I don’t know where to start. I wanna be everywhere, all at once. Like…” He skims a hand down my neck, fingertips ghosting over my breast, my skin erupting with goose bumps when he drags his thumb over my nipple. “Here.”
My lips part with a shaky exhale when his face dips, and he looks me in the eye as his tongue flicks over my nipple.
“But I also wanna be…” Carter trails off, just like his lips and the slow, torturous path they’re taking down my stomach, where he kisses around my belly button. “Here.”
Anticipation shakes every bit of me, wrecking my nerves, and a moan gurgles in my throat as his mouth follows his leisurely path down my body. He pauses to suck on my hip bone, staining my skin with his mark, before he lifts my leg, alternating between the wet slide of his tongue and the touch of his lips as he glides up.
“And here,” he whispers, finishing at the juncture of my thigh.
“And fuck.” It’s a breathy, crackling exhale, one that washes right over my center, and I can’t breathe, “Here, Olivia? Here’s where I wanna be most.”
My head falls back, mouth opening on a moan as he presses his tongue flat to my core and licks one languid stroke right up to the top. The tip of his tongue swirls around my clit before he sucks it into his mouth. My fingers plow through his silky waves as he tosses my legs over his shoulders, buries his face between my legs, and does what he promised: fucking devours me.
The way he eats me is nothing short of ferocious, a meal when he hasn’t eaten in days, hot lashes of his tongue paired with searing, sucking kisses as I hold him to me and grind my pelvis into his face.
“Fuck,” I moan, a fiery heat blazing up my body. My back arches and I gasp as he thrusts two fingers inside me. “Carter, I-I…I can’t.”
“You can.”
He’s relentless, a savage intent on showing no mercy, his chest vibrating with approval as he watches me climb higher, and when he throws me over the edge, I clap a hand across my mouth to stifle my cry.
Carter tears my hand away, pinning my wrists on either side of my head as he looms over me. “Slap that hand back there again and I’ll tie both of them to the bedpost. I wanna hear you scream my name when you come with me inside you. Got it?”
Words have escaped me, so I nod rapidly.
Carter grins, crawling up my body. He hooks a finger under my chin. “No sassy comebacks, Ol? Did I break you?”
Closing my eyes, I pull in a deep breath and let it go. I kiss his lips, then follow his rugged jawline to his ear. “You haven’t broken me yet, but I’m hoping if I’m a good girl, you will soon.”
His gaze darkens. “Fuck, I wanna give you whatever you want.”
I brush my lips against his. “Wreck me, Carter.”
Our mouths collide in a frenzy, scraping teeth, sliding tongues, bruising touches. I shove him down to the mattress and straddle his hips, because I need a minute to properly admire the masterpiece that is his body. He’s broad and firm, solid, corded muscles that ripple beneath his golden skin. I trail the tip of my finger down the etched path in his torso, around each ab, swirling around his belly button before following the path of soft chestnut curls that disappears below the waistband of his boxer briefs.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmur.
“Me?” He runs his palms over my thighs and grips my waist. There’s something in his gaze, something obscure and yet so open, so vulnerable, like he wants me to see it but doesn’t know how to show me. The callused pad of his thumb runs across my lip, his gaze watching the movement before flipping back up to mine. “You’re fucking immaculate, Ollie.”
A heavy, swift drumming in my chest makes everything tight, and my throat constricts as fear grabs hold once again. I don’t know what I’m doing here, why I’m giving myself up. If it weren’t for sheer desire to let go and feel the weight of his need for me, mixed with the drinks we’ve consumed that’s lowered both our inhibitions, I might hit pause. We need to talk, but when all I can see is his body below mine and that heady look in his eyes, I don’t remember how to communicate.
“Hey,” he whispers. “What’s wrong? You wanna stop, we’ll stop. I’ll snuggle the shit outta you and we can watch a movie. I’m cool with that.” There’s nothing in his expression that hints at his duplicity, though the heat of his body gives way to how much he hopes I won’t ask him to stop.
He cups my jaw, and when our eyes connect, I blurt out, “I’ve only had sex with two people.” And because I can’t stop talking, I add, “I only sleep with people I care about.”
I feel so exposed under the weight of his assessment. Not knowing what he’s thinking only makes me more edgy.
“I’m sorry that I can’t say the same,” he finally says. “But I can tell you honestly if I only had sex with people I cared about, I’d be losing my virginity tonight at the age of twenty-seven.”
Surely, that can’t be right. There’s no way I’m the only person he’s ever—
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Never, Ollie. I just want you to consider…consider giving me a shot. Consider me. That’s all I want, Ol. A chance with you.” A gentle kiss sweeps across my knuckles. “We can talk more about it in the morning.” He lifts me off of him and pulls me into his embrace, covering us with the blankets and stuffing his face in the crook of my neck as he murmurs, “Banana bread.”
“Carter.” I’m so lost, which is not at all what I want to be when I’m this turned on. “What are you doing?”
“Snuggling you.” Clearly, and he’s doing it well. I’m surprised; I’m pretty sure it’s his first time. “I’ve never been a snuggler before.” There we go. “I think I’m fucking fantastic at it.” And hello, arrogance.
“You’re doing impressively well. But what are you doing?” And why isn’t his stormtrooper invading my territory right now? Judging by the way it’s poking at my backside, I’d say it’s pretty eager to be inside me, about as eager as I am at the prospect of it.
“Stop…stopping?” His hesitation has me biting back a smile. “Isn’t that what you want?”
“When did I ever ask you to stop?”
“You said…I…well, I guess you…didn’t.”
My hand lands on his collarbone, pushing him back as I crawl over him. I grind myself against him, enjoying his guttural groan and the rough way he grips me. I shift back enough to show him the wet spot I’ve left on his gray boxers, right where he’s straining for freedom.
“You said you wanted to hear me scream your name when I come. Are you going to make me or not? If you’re not up for the challenge, I can take care of myself.”
With a growl, Carter flips me onto my back, pinning me to the mattress. His face dips, teeth grazing the columns of my throat. “Mouthy girl,” he murmurs. “You wanna be wrecked, do you? I can make sure you don’t walk out of here if that’s what you really want.”
“Prove it.”
I’m on my hands and knees before I can comprehend how I got there, and Carter’s palm lands swiftly against my ass, a burst of pain and pleasure rushing through me, pooling between my legs.
“Jesus Christ, this pussy.” He climbs off the bed and pulls me to the edge. I hear his underwear hit the ground, but all I feel is the plunge of his fingers as I go shooting forward with a gasp, clawing at the sheets. He pulls out, leaving a trail of wetness along my hip when he flips me to my back. All coherent thoughts promptly exit my brain at the sight of him standing there completely naked, fisting his cock in his hand.
“Holy shit.” I’m not sure wrecked is the right word for what Carter’s going to do to me. Totally destroy, yes. Obliterate, I think so. He’s so smug as he watches me, that self-assured, crooked smile painted on his face as he watches my eyes grow. When he starts stalking toward me, thick, muscular thighs flexing with each step, I try to swallow my whole damn tongue.
I crawl backward when his knees hit the mattress and he starts slinking toward me, that thing dangling between his legs, dragging across the bedding. Aside from the wild beat of my heart, the only other thing I can hear is the slowness with which it slithers across the bed, alerting me to my impending doom.
“I-I…” For the love of all God, what the hell am I trying to say? I give up on words, instead spreading my arms out, palms facing each other, before I make a tiny O with my pointer finger and thumb. My head wags furiously and my shrug is nothing short of both innocent and sincerely concerned. “It’s not gonna fit.”
Carter’s chuckle is way too ominous for my liking, and I’m still doing the crab walk. My hand slips and I start tumbling over the edge of the bed, legs in the air. He catches me before I can do any damage that might potentially and prematurely end this trip to heaven/hell that I’m so looking forward to, even though Carter’s packing a goddamn missile that’s going to blow my vagina to smithereens.
Taking hold of my ankles, he drags me beneath him, and a pulse blooms in my lower belly as he stares down at me, his cock brushing against my swollen clit. He palms my hip and drops his pelvis, a slow grind that draws all the air from my lungs.
With a fistful of my hair, he brings my face to his. His mouth covers mine, the hot lash of his tongue doing nothing to ease the apprehension his next promise brings. “We’re gonna make it fit.”
He rips my legs apart, swiping the head of his cock through my heat, spreading my wetness. With a crooked grin, he asks, “Any last words?”
I shake my head.
“Good. Hold on.”
His smile slips, emerald eyes glazing over with a lust so dark, so feral, that when he slams inside me with a single punishing thrust, my entire world fades to black. My mouth opens and he swallows my scream before it can escape.
“Oh my God,” I cry, tearing my mouth away. My fingernails bite into his shoulders, holding onto him as he fills me. “Wait, Carter, please.”
He stills inside of me, his hand gripping my throat as his body trembles, like he’s afraid if he doesn’t hang onto something he won’t be able to control himself.
But he’s so big, so thick, so heavy, and every inch of me feels so tight, stretched beyond belief.
He drops his forehead to mine, chest heaving, each breath bursting past his lips. “I’m sorry.”
The pain wanes, a delirious fullness that spreads like flames, heat licking at my skin. I snag my lip between my teeth, moaning as I arch off the bed, taking him a little bit farther as I adjust to his size. My nails rake down his arms, eyes rolling to heaven, as his hips start rolling, a slow grind that coaxes every knot inside me loose, until everything starts unfurling.
He slides a hand beneath me, lifting me to him. His anxious gaze bounces between mine, seeking instruction, permission, control. Control I’m willing to give.
A snarl rumbles deep in his chest as he drops me to the mattress and does exactly what I asked: fucks me.
His skin slaps against mine as he pistons inside me, so deep I swear I can feel him in my belly. His touch is rough, fire that singes everywhere it touches, branding me as his.
Each roll of his pelvis sends sparks through my clit, each plunge of his cock deeper and harder than the last, until I feel weightless. I’m nothing but bones and the sheer pleasure that burns through me from head to toe, lighting me aflame from the inside out.
Carter’s fingers tangle in my curls, dig into my hip, keeping me in place as his body dominates mine.
“Fuck,” he growls, face slick against my neck. “Fucking love fucking you.” He slides a wet kiss across my mouth. “I want more, Ollie. I’m gonna take it.”
I don’t know what more I can give him, but then he lifts my leg and throws it over his shoulder, grabs onto the headboard, and a devilish, roguish grin takes over his face as he pummels into me with everything he has.
“Pill,” he grunts out. “Are you on—”
“Yes.”
“Can I—”
“God, yes.”
A throaty, pleased hum rumbles as he drives faster, and I cry out his name, over and over again, palms sliding down his back, feeling the knotted muscles that move so fluidly. My hands find his firm ass, squeezing him closer when there’s already nowhere else to go, until I accidentally beg for harder.
His eyes sparkle with mischief. “Harder? Haven’t we covered this? I want to keep you, not break you.”
My palm hits his collarbone, shoving him to the mattress, and I sink down his length before he can protest. My head falls backward with a cry of unbridled pleasure, and Carter hisses below, lifting me up and slamming me back down on his cock, over and over again.
He pushes up and cups my breast, taking it into his mouth as I ride him, sucking, nipping, and I nearly yank his hair right out of his head. The look he gives me when he pulls back, brushing my clit, sends me straight off the deep end, and I come all over his cock.
“One more,” he growls, pulling me off him. He flips me onto my belly, pulls my head taut, and jerks my ass into the air before he thrusts back inside me. “You’re gonna give me one more.”
One more? I can’t. My chest falls to the mattress as every bone turns limp, but Carter hauls me back up, hot breath rolling down my neck, shaking my spine.
“We’re done when I say we’re done.”
“Carter,” I whimper.
“Fucking love when you say my name.” His wet mouth glides up my neck, teeth grazing the shell of my ear. “Now scream it.”
His hips slap against my ass as he drives himself forward, once, twice, three more times, and when he hits that spot I can never seem to find, every nerve ending sizzles and pops. I rip the sheet right off the bed and do what he asked: scream his name.
Carter explodes inside of me, burying his cry in my neck, clutching my body to his as my knees quiver and my arms give out, and when he pulls out, he leaves me feeling so empty.
He winds an arm around my waist and tugs me into his side as he collapses to the mattress, and our bodies, slick with sweat and heaving, stick together.
I place my palm over his chest, feeling the steady thrum of the heart below, and Carter covers my hand with his, warmth spreading throughout my belly, crawling up my chest to that vital organ I’m meant to keep safe.
“Can I keep you?” he asks.
“Yes.” My heart skitters to a stop at the simple answer spoken without thought, and only when Carter tilts my chin and captures my mouth with a kiss does it restart.
It’s in this moment that I realize how earth-shatteringly fucked I am.
