When I plotted this, I had one thought in mind—get to Adrian.
I didn’t care whether I got his anger or his wrath, as long as he expressed it instead of bottling all his emotions inside as usual.
To ensure I had everything prepared, I brought out the candles, the sheets, and the lingerie I bought a year ago but never had the courage to use. I had to hide them at the back of the closet as if they were some sort of disgrace.
Back then, I was more afraid of the idea of him and didn’t want to fully give in to my feelings or to him.
A part of me still battles that. Still whispers in a corner of my head that Adrian is a monster and there’s nothing that will change it.
However, that part is what made me lose my mind, because I denied something I wanted so much, and in doing that, I screwed up my head.
So now, as he holds me by the arm, the dark gray pools of his eyes shining with malice, I don’t run away.
I stare.
I fall.
I just stay in the moment.
Which isn’t so hard since Adrian is able to confiscate my entire attention by merely being there.
Goosebumps erupt on my flesh from where he’s gripping me. The shadow on his sharp cheekbones gives him a darkened, lethal edge.
He’s such a handsome man with a quiet beauty that creeps up on you out of nowhere and a physical perfection that gets better with time. I might have been a bit infatuated with him for years.
Okay, a lot.
“What do you think you’re doing, Lia?”
I love the sound of my name on his lips. In fact, I love it so much that I may have leaned closer merely to hear it clearer in the tenor of his voice.
Snap out of it, Lia.
“Just dinner,” I say with nonchalance.
“This doesn’t look like just dinner to me.”
“You’re the one who called me earlier wanting a date, remember?”
“Who said I want it anymore?”
I ignore how his words sting, especially since we’ve never really had a date before, but I tamp it down. “Well, I want a date.”
“If by a date, you mean you’ll either answer my questions or I will get your ass red, then fine, Lia. Let’s have a date.”
“And they say romance is dead.”
“Drop the sarcasm. It doesn’t suit you.”
“I think it suits me just fine.”
“Lia…” he warns. “Don’t talk back to me or your ass will pay the price.”
A jolt of excitement goes up my spine and I feign indifference, trying hard not to rub my thighs together. “The dinner is getting cold.”
“What are you playing at? Are you going to seduce me in order to ask for something later? To get out so you can meet the fucker, maybe?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I never cheated on you, Adrian. I swear.”
He grabs me by a fistful of my hair and I wince as he tugs backward. “So this is your new game? Denial?”
I hold onto his wrist, not to remove it, but to touch him, to establish a connection with him so that whatever vulnerable thread exists between us doesn’t break.
“How about I treat you the same, Lia? Should I bring in a mistress, too? I’ll tie you to the bed and fuck her right in front of you while you watch. Is that what you want?”
“No!” Tears fill my eyes and a green-eyed monster rears his head from the depths of my soul.
I have no doubt he’d do it just to teach me a lesson, to hurt me as much as I hurt him, and I don’t think I would ever survive the sight of Adrian touching another woman.
It’d break me to the point of no return.
“Why not? You sent your lookalike in my direction, so isn’t that what you expected to happen? For me to fuck her?”
Bitter tears slide down my cheeks and I clamp my lips together to prevent them from trembling.
“Answer me, Lia.”
I choke on a sob before I speak. “I wasn’t thinking straight back then.”
“You weren’t thinking, but you obviously thought hard enough about having her take your place. Did you imagine her in my bed? Did you like that image?”
“No…no! No!” I dig my fingers into his skin. “Don’t torture me like this.”
“You mean, like the way you’ve been torturing me for months?”
“I didn’t cheat on you and I’d never be able to. Not when you own every part of me.”
“I own every part of you?” His eyes darken to a frightening hue.
I nod, though it isn’t very noticeable with the hold he has on my hair.
“Let’s prove it then.”
He hauls me to the bed, kicking away the carefully situated pillows I put there.
I don’t protest as he forces me to my back on the mattress. Instead, a spark of twisted excitement rushes through me like never before.
Adrian’s hand bunches the robe and he rips it off me. I haven’t been able to change into anything sexy or get fixed up.
My nakedness is completely visible to him and I revel in his darkened gaze, in the promise there.
I have that effect on him. It’s not another woman who breaks his frigid façade and yanks out the man inside, it’s me.
Only me.
My husband straddles me and grabs both of my wrists in one hand, then slams them over my head, using the sash of my robe to tie them to the bedpost. My heart shivers with each of his sure, methodical movements.
He’s melting me piece by piece, and there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to resist him.
Not that I want to.
If anything, I need this side of him. I need the unrestrained pleasure and the unstoppable passion.
I need him to not hold back.
Usually, he proceeds to punish or fuck me when my hands are tied.
Not this time.
Adrian gets off me, reaches for the nightstand, and retrieves some pieces of rope. Before I can decipher what he’s doing, he heads to the foot of the bed and ties one of my ankles to the post, then does the same to the other so that I’m spread-eagle for his view.
A foreign sense of arousal shoots through me at the position. I’m completely naked, tied, and the only one who’s able to save me from this is the same one who put me in it.
My husband stands across from me, in direct view of my pussy, as he unbuttons his shirt. The hard ridges of his chest are revealed with each button until the material is hanging open. He rips it off his body and throws it beside him.
I get an unrestricted view of his naked chest and the full sleeve tattoos that always get my nerves in a bunch.
His abdomen muscles ripple and I want to clench my thighs together, but I’m unable to due to my position.
Adrian removes his belt, but not his pants, then loops the leather around his strong veiny hand as he walks to the side of the bed.
Or more like, he stalks like a giant cat with his sights set on a prey to devour. A thousand shivers explode on my skin and the torturous anticipation makes my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth.
“What are you going to do to me?”
His ash eyes feast on my nakedness as he speaks with veiled nonchalance. “What do you think I’ll do?”
“Punish me?”
“Cheaters deserve more than mere punishments.”
“I’m not a cheater.”
His belt whooshes in the air before it comes down on my hardening nipples. I shriek, the sound echoing in the silence as a searing pain explodes in my sensitive peaks.
Holy. Shit.
“With every lie out of your mouth, I’ll whip you.”
“I am not a cheater.”
He slaps my breasts again and I wail, but this time the sting doesn’t stay at the surface level, instead getting deeper and darker to reach the sick, twisted part of me that only Adrian can touch.
A sob wrenches from my throat and I choke on it. “I’m not…ahhh—”
My voice is cut off when he whips me again. I buck off the bed, but the ropes bring me right back down, preventing my escape. My nipples are blood red and pink welts spread across my breasts.
Adrian glides the tip of his belt over a tight bud and I arch my back. A jolt of pleasure rips through me and settles at the base of my stomach. Equal amount of pleasure and pain rush through me all at once. I’m delirious, sobbing and begging for more.
“Did he touch these nipples, Lia?”
“No…I swear…”
“Who do these nipples belong to?”
“You,” I let out a strangled murmur.
His belt comes down on them again. “I didn’t hear that.”
“You!” I cry out.
“Correct.” His belt glides down the hollow of my stomach and I brace myself, sucking in a breath and sniffling through my tears that leave hot streaks on my cheeks and neck.
Adrian has the ability to turn me into a mess with a mere touch. It’s insane how much he turns my body against me, then makes me enjoy his depravity.
Crave it, even.
“When did you start your affair, Lia?”
“I didn’t…there was no affair…ahhh…” My voice ends on a cry when his belt meets my stomach.
“Let’s try again. When?”
“I never…never…”
Slap!
I arch off the bed, my eyes filled with tears until my vision is blurry, but I meet his gaze head-on. “You can whip me to death, but I won’t tell a lie…I never looked at any man but you.”
“Never looked at any man but me?” Slap! “Then who was the man you were kissing, Lia?” Slap! “Who the fuck was he?”
I’m wailing and bawling by the time he finishes. Any sound I make is broken by the force of my sobs. My thighs are shaking, my nipples are throbbing, and a bizarre state of painful arousal takes hold of my entire being.
“Adrian…please…stop…”
“You’re the only one who can make this stop by giving me what I want. Stop fucking protecting him.”
“I’m…I’m not protecting him.”
“Is that why you refuse to tell me who he is?”
“It’s because he’s dangerous …I…I don’t want you hurt.”
He laughs, the sound harsh, humorless, and tugs on my heartstrings. “You’ve already done that plenty, Lenochka.”
“You hurt me, too…” I whimper between my sniffles. “You crushed me when I learned you only married me to use me against my father.”
His belt pauses at the valley of my legs. “Did I ever use you?”
“You could have. I was living in damn anxiety expecting you to do it at any time.”
“Answer the question. Did I fucking use you, Lia?”
“No…”
“No, I didn’t. I wouldn’t. If I’d planned to, I wouldn’t have married you. In fact, I got rid of every fucking member of the Rozettis who knew about your existence and then hid you from your father. Including the bastard you saw me kill that first day in your apartment’s parking garage. He was following you and I finished him.”
My jaw falls open and even though it’s hard to focus on his words with the amount of pain and constant arousal plaguing my body, I let them filter into my conscious.
“You…you were following me?”
“For a few months before I met you, yes. So if I’d wanted to use you to get close to Lazlo, I would’ve done so around that time.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because you became fucking mine.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that when I first confronted you? Why did you have to hurt me until I had to hurt you back?”
“Someone from the outside helped you and you said he was your lover.”
“He’s not…”
His belt comes down on my pussy and I gasp, my mouth remaining open.
“Don’t lie to me, Lia.”
“He’s not!”
Slap!
“Ahhh…please…I believe what you said just now. I trust that you didn’t intend to use me, I really do. Now you have to believe me…please…please…”
Because if he doesn’t, we’ll be caught in a vicious, toxic cycle that will destroy us both.
“Why should I? You insisted on cheating, remember?”
“Adrian…take it as if I’m begging you. Don’t do this to us.”
“Do what?”
“Kill us again.”
Hard lines etch his features and I can tell he’s on the edge of something—what, I don’t know.
He glides the belt between my legs, across the sensitive flesh of my thigh, but he doesn’t whip me. If anything, his touch is soothing, taking away the pain and replacing it with carnal bliss. One that beats beneath my skin and connects with my bones.
I pull on the bindings at my wrists and ankles, but that only tightens them around my tender flesh.
“Give me something, Lia.”
“S-something about what?”
“About him. If he’s not your lover, then you shouldn’t be protecting him.”
I suck in a sharp breath as his belt glides up and down the wetness of my pussy. Luca has never helped me since I got involved with Adrian. In fact, he used me and I turned a blind eye to it because he reminded me of Grandma and my childhood.
If it were up to me, I would’ve kept him and Adrian as far away from each other as possible. But knowing my husband’s closed off nature, he’ll continue to torture me and himself until he gets the answers he needs.
Since he’s going to get them, anyway, why should I deny him?
“Luca,” I whisper. “His name is Luca and he was my childhood friend. We lived in the same neighborhood when Grandma was alive and went to the same school.”
If he appreciates the information, he doesn’t show it. His expression is as blank as his demeanor. “Why did you have to meet him in secret?”
“Because he runs with the wrong crowd.”
“What crowd?”
“I don’t know. I kept away from his life because it’s dangerous.”
“But you ended up in mine.” There’s a softer edge in his tone and I nearly cry with gratefulness.
“You said it yourself. I didn’t have a choice.”
“And if you did have a choice?”
A sob of relief leaves me. “I’d choose this, Adrian. I would choose you.”
He closes his eyes for a brief second, grunting. When he opens them again, he rasps, “Fuck, Lenochka.”
“Yes, please.”
“Yes, please, what? Fuck you? Whip you? Own you?”
“Any… All…” I struggle against my bindings to no avail. “Please.”
He throws the belt away and undoes his trousers as he settles between my spread legs. I’m so wet that I feel it dripping between my thighs and onto the mattress.
“You want me to fuck that tight cunt of yours until you scream, Lenochka?”
“Yes…”
He grabs me by my hips and I arch into his touch. The stimulation from his belt has left me turned on to the point of oblivion so that even the slightest blissful flicker of touch will be enough to detonate me.
“You’ll scream for me, Lia.”
“I will…ohhh…” my word ends on a moan as he plunges inside me with the delicious ruthlessness that I’m used to from him.
My body bucks off the bed as he thrusts inside me with increasing intensity. His rough handling leaves me gasping, sobbing, and bawling.
It leaves me feeling alive.
The welts from his belt spark bursts of pain into my nipples and stomach. It mixes with the pleasure, coalescing in my belly and core.
His punishments have a curious overpowering effect that make me delirious and beg for more.
I will always want more with Adrian, even more than he can give me.
Like his heart.
His soul.
It’s only fair after he confiscated mine. He’s holding them in the palm of his hand, whether he’ll squash them or revive them, no one knows.
But I continue holding onto the hope that the six years we’ve spent together mean something.
They have to.
Adrian drives all the way into me, hitting my sweet spot before he pulls out, then powers in again.
I fall apart with no safety line.
And at this moment, I don’t want one.
I’m tied down, completely and utterly helpless, and yet I haven’t felt this free in such a long time.
The orgasm comes with a sudden blast that I don’t feel until it hits me. There’s no warning, no hazard sign.
Just…freedom.
“Adrian… Oh, yes…yes…”
“Fuck, Lia,” he grunts as his movements turn harder and longer. “Say my name again.”
“Adrian…”
“Say that you’re mine.”
“I’m yours…yours…”
He grunts and comes inside me then, his hot cum filling me.
My husband collapses on top of me and I expect him to take a moment to catch his breath, but instead, his lips find mine.
Adrian is kissing me.
I know he did it when I thought I was Winter, but this one is different. This one is meant for me. His tongue meets mine, and I kiss him with abandon, letting him devour me whole.
So what if nothing is left at the end? I know he’ll be there for me.
He’ll pick me up again.
He’ll kiss me again.
After I told him I cheated on him, Adrian stopped kissing me, and that killed me slowly. Now that he’s back to it, that must mean he believes me, right?
When he pulls back slightly, I’m panting, but my eyes are drooping. I could fall asleep kissing him, letting him explore me all night long.
“Don’t fall asleep, Lenochka. We haven’t even gotten started yet.”
