I don’t know how I find myself back at the house.
Though I have an idea.
Yan and Boris must’ve dragged me back in while I kicked and screamed and cried.
My energy wanes as I sit down on the sofa, my limbs shaking. The heat tingles against my frozen extremities, but it can’t reach inside and melt the ice that’s been forming frosty layers around my heart since the moment Adrian’s car vanished in the snow.
A warm cup touches my hand and I glance up to find Yan staring at me. “It’s hot tea.”
“I don’t want hot tea.” A wave of fresh tears blur my vision. “I want to go to Adrian.”
“That’s impossible, Lia. You’ll be killed as well.”
“I don’t care. I’d rather die than live without him.”
“How about Jeremy then? How will he survive without the both of you?”
A sob catches in my throat at the reminder of our son, at how Adrian said I should raise him well for the both of us.
No.
He’ll do it with me. He has to. There’s no way he’ll leave me all alone after everything we’ve been through.
“I’m sorry.” Yan sits beside me, still cradling the drink even as Boris stands across from us in his inflexible position.
“About what?” I sniffle.
“I was drunk and ended up telling Kolya about what I heard the night I was shot. That’s how Boss managed to put together everything concerning you and Luca.”
I shake my head. “I don’t care about any of that. It would’ve come to light sooner or later.”
“Is it true?” Boris asks.
“Is what true?”
“Did you betray Boss?”
“Boris.” Yan shakes his head at his colleague.
The other guard glares at him. “What? He went to the Pakhan ready to die for her. If she betrayed him, I want to know.”
“For what reason?” Yan slams the cup on the table and jerks up. “You gonna go against your boss’s order and hurt her? Because you’ll have to get through me first.”
I grab Yan’s arm and tug with the little strength I have left so he’ll sit down. He complies hesitantly, and I shake my head at Boris. “It’s true that I talked to Luca, but I would never hurt Adrian. I know you don’t believe me, but I…I didn’t.”
Boris thins his lips but says nothing. Like Kolya, he has only ever been loyal to Adrian and always sees things from his boss’s perspective. But I understand his skepticism about protecting me when he thinks I’m the reason behind this whole mess.
Focusing back on the situation at hand, I face Yan. “Surely we can do something?”
“No.”
“If I talk to Sergei and tell him about what happened in the shelter…”
“If that were an option, Boss would’ve considered it.”
“You can’t possibly be suggesting that we all sit here and do nothing?”
“For the time being, that’s what we will do. Kolya will bring you and Jeremy different identities and then we can go to another place—”
“No.” I cut him off, jumping to my feet and glaring at both guards. “You claim to be so loyal to your boss and yet, you’re content with just sitting here, waiting for news of his death.”
“Believe me, Mrs. Volkov.” Boris grits his teeth. “If it were up to me, I would be out there with him, dying for him if need be.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“Because his last order was to protect you and Jeremy.”
A whole body shudder overwhelms me and I’m shaking all over again. “I can’t stay here and do nothing. I won’t.”
Yan sighs, his shoulders drooping. “Boss said—”
“Your damn boss left me and went to his death, Yan. His opinion doesn’t matter.” I pace the length of the room, my legs trembling and tears stinging my cheeks. “There must be something we can do.”
An idea springs to my head and I stop, staring between Yan and Boris. “My father.”
“Your father?” Yan asks.
“Lazlo Luciano. You said that his lack of cooperation with the Bratva is part of the reason why Sergei, Vladimir, and Igor are mad at Adrian.”
“No, Lia.”
“Yes, Yan. If I talk to him, he might help.”
“Or he might lock you the fuck up. He’s childless and if he finds out that he’s had a daughter all along, he won’t let you go. Not to mention that he’ll figure out Adrian married you to get to him.”
“I won’t know unless I try.”
“This is a bad idea.”
“It’s the only one we have.” I stare at Boris. “What do you think?”
“I think Boss will kill us.” He pauses. “But he won’t be able to do that if he’s dead.”
Yan squares his shoulders. “I’m against this.”
“Your opinion doesn’t matter.” I stand beside Boris. “It’s two to one.”
Yan points a finger at Boris. “I’ll stand by when Boss gets your balls.”
“I’ll gladly let him if he stays alive.”
Both guards glare at each other, but even with Yan’s stoic expression, I know that deep down, he realizes this is our only chance to rescue Adrian.
That is, if he’s still alive.
The thought of his death brings a new wave of tears to my eyes.
No. I would know if he’d died. I would’ve felt it in the corner of my heart with his name engraved on it. That corner has been bleeding since he left.
“Mommy?”
My attention snaps to Jeremy, who’s rubbing sleep from his eyes and approaching me slowly. He’s wearing his pajamas with spaceships drawn on them and his hair is disheveled.
His chin trembles as he stares up at me. “Why are you crying?”
I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands and crouch so I’m eye level with him. “It’s nothing, my angel. Mommy is just a little sad, okay?”
My heart skips a beat at how I said ‘okay’ and I’m about to correct myself when I recall that Adrian isn’t here. There’s no vocabulary police to worry about and that brings a new surge of heartache.
Jer pulls the sleeve of his pajama top down his palm and dabs it against my cheek. “It’s okay, Mommy. Papa and I will make it better.”
It takes everything in me not to break down then and there, because those words? They’re the truest I’ve ever heard. Adrian and Jeremy have always made it better.
No matter how hard it’s gotten, having them by my side has always helped, even when I was too blind to see it.
“Where’s Papa, Mommy?”
I hug Jeremy to my chest, smoothing his hair. “He’s not here, my angel, but Mommy will get him back.”
