The party was at one of the managers’ homes. They had a nice house, but much further into the suburbs than I was used to. It was picturesque, lit beautifully in the darkened sky. I arrived in full makeup and a dress and sweater combination that was going to look great in photos.
Sebastian even went so far as to match my outfit, and as much as we both hated dressing up for things and taking photos, we looked good together.
This was the perfect chance to update my feed with current photos of us. A few commenters had noticed I wasn’t posting very many shots with Sebastian and me in frame. A Christmas party was the perfect chance to look like we were a couple.
“It’s good to see you again,” an older woman I barely recognized greeted. I racked my brain to try and remember when I would have met her before.
“Oh, hi,” I said, putting on a warm smile, even though I had no clue who I was talking to.
Sebastian leaned close, whispering in my ear. “That’s Carol, honey. We met her at the welcome party.”
My skin erupted in goosebumps and I hoped he didn’t notice what his voice did to me.
“It’s so good to see you again, Carol,” I said. “Your house looks beautiful.”
“Oh, thank you! I figured if I was hosting everyone then I could at least make it look nice. I was surprised we didn’t do this where you two live. I bet you have a gorgeous home.”
“Oh, that’s for us only right now,” he said. “We don’t have it set up for guests yet.”
I never wanted to have it set up for guests. The idea that our home was only ours made my heart stutter in my chest.
“There they are!” another woman exclaimed, walking over. She was closer to our age, maybe only a few years older. “Hi, Sebastian. Hi, Lily. I’m Sierra. I was at the welcome party.”
“Oh, I’m sure she remembers you,” Carol said, rolling her eyes good-naturedly.
I definitely didn’t.
“I forget names,” I said, laughing. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Sierra is the manager of accounting,” Sebastian said. “Carol is the director of marketing. We wouldn’t know what to do without them.”
“No, we wouldn’t know what to do without you.” Sierra smiled. “I’m sure you notice how hard he works,” she said to me.
“I definitely do. I hear someone in the office has been getting him home on time, though.”
“That would be me,” Carol said, looking proud of herself. “I want us all to have time with our families.”
“Well, I certainly appreciate it,” I said, threading my arm through his.
“It’s boring at work!” Carol said. “We’ve got good people and they do their jobs. He doesn’t need to be there all the time.”
Sebastian was right—these people were nothing like those in LA. Back there, no one talked to me at work events. They were all more interested in getting on Sebastian’s good side, even after he had been their boss for months. Carol and Sierra had a respectful camaraderie, one that I was grateful for.
“Hang on,” Sierra said. “You two look too good not to get a photo of. Get over by the tree!”
Sebastian bristled, but I knew it was a perfect opportunity. I thanked them and gently guided him over to the tree.
“Just a few and then we’re done,” I said softly.
“I know,” he said. His gaze landed on my upturned lips, and I could have sworn his tense muscles loosened a little.
But I knew I shouldn’t look for signs like this. I’d only get my heart broken.
Sebastian wound his arm around the small of my back, pulling me to his chest with ease. For once, I was glad for the makeup so he couldn’t see the blush rising on my cheeks.
“All done!” Sierra said after snapping a few photos. “I’m putting this on the company Facebook page.”
“I need to get a few for myself,” I said. “I’ll go get my camera.”
“I’ll help you,” Carol said. “Is it a professional model? I do photography in my free time.”
“Really?” I asked. “You’re probably better than me then.”
“I can take them for you,” she offered kindly. “You shouldn’t have to worry about all that here.”
“That would be great, thank you,” I replied.
Carol helped carry my camera in, and Sebastian met me back by the tree for the photos. He still looked tense, but when Carol began talking animatedly about what she wanted us to do, it helped.
“You guys are so cute,” she said as she snapped photos. “Talk to one another so I can get a candid.”
“This actually isn’t as bad as it usually is,” he said lowly.
“I know. I don’t think my calling was photography.”
“You’re amazing at it, but Carol is surprisingly good at defusing an awkward situation.”
“Think we can hire her?” I asked, half joking.
“I think she’s getting enough for the rest of the contract. You’ll just have to photoshop the tree out.”
“You give my photoshop skills more credit than it needs. All I can do is click buttons and hope it works.”
He laughed. “Really? You never took a class or anything?”
“I fake it until I make it.”
“I’d have never guessed,” he said, still smiling.
“Yes!” Carol called. “Take a look at these.”
I walked over and looked at the camera screen. Carol started giving me editing tips, but my eyes were caught on the last photo she’d taken, and the world fell away.
Sebastian and I were smiling at each other, and we looked . . . happy. Like we really loved each other. There wasn’t that fear in the back of my eyes. Sebastian’s gaze was warm as his eyes fixated on me.
It was the best photo we had ever taken.
And I knew in that moment that it would never see social media. This was ours.
I could pick from the others to throw in a post. I’d probably do it before bed as I always did.
“Oh, I hope you like them,” Carol said. “You have a great camera. I need to get one of those.”
“I love it,” I said, voice distant. My throat was tight at the only photo I’d seen. I was sure there were others I could find to post. “Do you have any water?”
Sebastian’s eyebrows drew together as Carol led us to her kitchen. After getting a drink, Sebastian pulled me aside.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” I said, shaking off my awe at how happy we looked. “I just really liked the photos, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded, but then another employee interrupted us, asking how we liked the party. I was grateful for the distraction.
The party was in full swing, and others came to chat with us, which kept me busy enough to let my emotions pass. In a few minutes, I was my normal self again.
Sebastian never left my side. Even if I went to get a snack, he was there, hand on the small of my back, touching me in some sort of way.
It felt right. This didn’t feel like we were faking our marriage. For the first time, it felt real.
And then Martin walked in.
I saw him come in the front door, and the entire room went silent. I stared in horror, wondering why we were so unlucky. Sebastian looked to be thinking the same thing.
“Wow, Sebastian,” Carol said. Her voice was kind, but she seemed a little panicked. “You didn’t tell me the CEO was going to be here.”
“Hi, dad,” Sebastian said, looking uncomfortable. Sebastian’s hand settled on my hip, and he gripped me to him. I wasn’t sure if it was for show, or if it was because he needed me to ground him.
All I knew is he’d never done this before.
Martin gave us his brightest smile, one that was more of a sneer. “I’d thought I’d pop in and see my newest office having a party. It’s so lively here.”
Carol whispered something to Sierra, but then put on a big smile as Martin introduced himself to everyone.
“I didn’t know he would be here,” Sebastian said under his breath.
“I know,” I replied. “We just need to make it through this and whatever he has to say after.”
“We haven’t done anything wrong. We’re here. We look nice and we took photos.”
“I posted yesterday,” I added. “Maybe it’s just a visit?”
As I said it, I knew it was a pipe dream.
“He’s never here for just a visit,” he muttered. He put his hand on my back and led me to his father to join the conversation. Carol and Sierra were praising Sebastian, speaking on how hardworking he was. They conveniently left out the part where they often forced him to go home early.
Like they knew what not to say to the CEO. Eventually, Martin addressed us.
“You two look happy,” he said. “Like you’re in love.”
People whispered, and I wanted to run. Anxiety made its way into my stomach.
“Here’s to hoping we all have a nice future ahead of us,” he added.
I froze, and so did Sebastian. Neither of us liked to mention our future.
And we really didn’t like it when Martin did.
I cleared my throat.
“To what do we owe this surprise visit?” I asked kindly.
“I have some business here this week. There’s a few tech companies who want to speak with me. Plus, your five-year anniversary is soon. I wanted to deliver the news that your mother is planning quite the party, Lily.”
Ice ran through my veins. “But that’s . . .”
“Months away? Yes. Well, we will have much to discuss until then.” He sounded so cryptic, but both Sebastian and I knew the meaning.
As soon as he began speaking to someone else, I made a break for the bathroom. I felt sick to my stomach, and if I wasn’t in one of Sebastian’s employee’s houses, I’d probably throw up.
Instead, I hyperventilated.
“They’re going to put us into another contract,” I said. “Goddamn it, I can’t ever be free.”
“They can’t force you.”
“I know, but they’ll definitely guilt me into it! Why can’t leaving just be easy? Why can’t they be content that I was their show pony for five years and cut me loose?”
“Because they know they need you,” he said.
“I don’t care. I want out.”
“You should get out,” he said, his voice cool. “You should get out and never look back.”
I was tired of this. I was tired of random visits, of putting on a happy face when I really was upset. I didn’t think I could do much more.
And yet they wanted me to.
“I need to get back out there,” I said, my voice rough from my nerves. “If he catches even a hint that I’m upset, I’ll hear about it.”
“Lily, we can go—”
“No.” I looked at him. “Me freaking out is not worth the grief we’ll both get. I’ll be fine. I’ve done things feeling worse.”
“When was it worse than this?”
“Our wedding comes to mind,” I said. “I was throwing up before the ceremony.”
Sebastian looked at me with a horrified expression.
“I brushed my teeth before I kissed you, don’t worry.”
“I don’t care about that. It had you that upset that you were physically sick?”
“I was fine,” I said.
“We went on the honeymoon right after!”
“And I didn’t throw up again or anything. It was just nerves at signing my life away for five years. The show must go on.”
“What have your parents done to you?” he asked, the horror only growing. “This isn’t normal.”
“It’s my normal. At least until this contract is up.”
“Lily—”
“Please, not right now. I know it’s bad. I know I need to get out, but we have to get through this party.”
“Okay,” he said, but it sounded like it pained him, “let’s just get this over with.”
I managed to plaster on a happy face for the remainder of the evening. Under Martin’s calculating gaze, I struggled to keep my composure.
We left as soon as we could, and the car ride home was mostly silent.
“I’m sorry he came,” Sebastian said. “I didn’t know he would.”
“I know you didn’t.”
“We were having such a great time until he showed up.”
“We were. But it was his attitude that ruined it. Not you.”
“I know,” he replied. “I hate that he came. I hate that you were so upset, I wish I had known so I could—”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Like I said, it’s normal.”
“It won’t be normal after this. You’re getting out.”
Hearing that someone was going to help me get out rather than judging me or keeping me trapped had me feeling more relieved than I thought possible. Sebastian being on my side through this made it all the easier.
I let out a shaky breath “Thank you.”
“You deserve freedom,” he said, reaching across and squeezing my hand. He was right. I did deserve to be free, though I couldn’t help but remember that when this was over, I wouldn’t have him anymore. We wouldn’t be married, and nothing would be tying us together.
I’d always had mixed feelings about leaving this contract; the idea that he and I would be over made it so much worse.
Photo: Lily and Sebastian in front of a Christmas tree. His hand is on her hip, and they look to be talking.
LilyRMiller: Had the best Christmas with this man. I couldn’t ask for a better person to be by my side.
MartinMiller: Was so good to see you and discuss your future, Lily.
SebandLily4ever: YESSSSS! I KNEW YOU’D FEED US. KEEP THE PICS COMING
ConcernedReviewer: Wow, this is the first candid where I actually think you like each other.
