Things only got worse from there.
“I figured it was something big when they called you in. You know this is a way to control you, right?” Jessie said to me when I told her the news.
“I know.”
“This is your chance to leave,” she reminded me.
I shook my head.
Yeah, I had money saved up, but if I wanted a place in LA, I’d need every cent I could get. The sale of my last book would put me over the line for being able to afford a down payment for a decent place here, but then I’d have to figure out if my income was sufficient enough to actually afford a mortgage.
If I was going to do this, I needed that last book sold and all of my inheritance.
“I can’t leave yet, but next year . . .”
Jessie only sighed.
After that, I had to tell my agent I was moving, and they freaked out, asking me a million and one questions on my plan to finish my book and keep my real name under wraps. I didn’t know the answers to any of that yet.
And Sebastian?
He wasn’t any help at all.
He came home late, and I wondered if he had been with Heather. Instead of saying hello, he handed me a stack of photos of houses.
“Pick from these,” he said.
They were only the outside shots of homes: all two-story boxes with different color siding and the same floorplan; the land they were on was tiny, and there was no yard.
I couldn’t find a single one that I cared about.
I didn’t even care about Nashville. It was a smaller city in a new state that would mean nothing to me. I knew I needed to simply pick the prettiest house and move on, but I couldn’t.
The next day, I tried doing research on the city I was moving to. It didn’t really help my mood. It was known for country music, which was not something I listened to. People loved the calm vibes and southern hospitality.
But I craved the city. I liked movement and loudness. If Nashville was known for being a city with small-town vibes, then it was the opposite of LA and what I liked.
Needless to say, I still didn’t pick a house.
When we were in the airport, I randomly chose three and told Sebastian we would look at those. He didn’t answer me, so I figured he was in just as bad of a mood as I was.
As always, we had first-class seats, which Jessie would say was a huge waste of money. It was worth every cent to me, as it meant we collectively had more space and I had breathing room away from my fuming husband.
When we landed, I gagged when I saw the airport was filled with cowboy hats. People pushed past each other like they were all late to the same event. It was like the worst parts of LA combined with terrible fashion. It was so crowded that even Sebastian had to grab my hand to prevent me from being inadvertently ushered away from him.
“Where y’all heading?” our Uber driver asked. I couldn’t help but grimace at the accent.
Sebastian told the woman the address of the first house on the list. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip to stop my emotions from exploding out of me.
“I think I’ve seen y’all before,” she said. “Famous?”
Ugh. Of course she’d notice.
“You might have seen my wife on Instagram.”
Sebastian looked at me expectantly. This is where I was supposed to gush about my “passion.”
“Oh yeah,” I said, ignoring the hot wave of nausea in my stomach. “I do a lot of traveling and photos and . . . lifestyle stuff. Sebastian here also works for Miller Industries.”
“Oh, is this for the new electronic company office opening here?” she asked. “I saw that on the news. Everyone is so excited. We love new job opportunities.”
My dad would be livid if he knew that people recognized this new office under the Miller Industries title.
Instead of correcting her, I nodded. “Yep, that’s the one.”
“The actual name will be Electronic Point,” Sebastian added.
“Oh yeah,” the driver mused. “I think I remember that name. They have Miller Industries on the building that’s going up.”
I had to hide a laugh. This was what my dad deserved.
“I think my sister is going to apply,” she said. “Would she like it there?”
“As long as she likes working,” I replied. It was a nicer way of saying what I really thought about Miller Industries.
Sebastian glanced over at me, eyebrows raised. Usually, I gushed about how much I loved our parents’ companies.
“I’ll have to let her know I met y’all! Maybe my sister can get an interview.”
There was a lull in the conversation, and I knew this was where I would oftentimes jump in. I was supposed to be the outgoing one, but I wasn’t feeling up to being that right now.
Instead, we drove in painful, awkward silence.
When we arrived at the first house, I blinked up at the boxy, weird design. In photos, I knew this place looked modern, and barely had a yard, but it was so much worse in person.
“Hey!” our real estate agent called as she climbed out of her car. “Nice to meet you guys in person. I’m Jordan.”
“Lily,” I said, mustering up a plastic smile.
Late summer in Nashville was brutal. Since I was from LA, I was used to heat, but this was the wet, oppressive kind. I had never dealt with this before. It was like wearing another layer.
“So, what do you think?” Jordan asked.
“It’s spacious,” Sebastian said.
“More house than yard,” I added.
“Yeah, some of the people who move here don’t want to maintain a yard,” Jordan said. “From what your husband said online, y’all don’t either.”
I glanced at Sebastian, who was too busy looking at the house rather than at me. If we did have a yard, it would either be me or mowers doing the work, since Sebastian was too busy for it. On the outside it looked like another chore, but every one of the older homes had a much bigger outdoor space.
Jordan caught me glancing over at the smaller, older homes.
“Oh, those are the original homes. A lot are remodeled, but some are original. They usually have larger yards, and developers buy them and demolish them to make room for three or four of these.”
“They put that many onto one lot?” Sebastian asked.
Jordan shrugged. “Yeah, but gets more houses for people to live in, I guess.”
I looked over at the neighboring houses, which were right on top of ours. We all shared a driveway.
In LA, we lived in a secluded, modern home. We had neighbors, but nothing like this.
The inside of the house was nice, though I was more excited about being in an air-conditioned room than anything else.
Everything was grey and white. There was no furniture, and everything was builder grade.
It was made as a cash grab. It was made to accommodate people who weren’t even from here. It was boring.
The next two houses we saw were the exact same. The third one was even in the backyard of the second one we viewed. I tried to pretend to like what I saw, but Jordan could tell that I wasn’t into any of them.
Sebastian didn’t seem to care, once again.
“Are you sure you want a newer home?” Jordan asked after the third viewing. “I know your hubby said you liked newer things, but it doesn’t seem like you like any of these at all.”
I glanced over at Sebastian, who was on his phone. “Let me talk to him.”
“Which house do you want?” he asked when I approached him.
“Why did you only choose new houses?”
“They’re the nicest ones here.”
I shook my head. I knew I shouldn’t really care about the house we’d pick, but I did. If I was doing this, then I wanted one thing I could enjoy. I didn’t get to pick out the house Sebastian and I lived in now. He already owned it when I met him. This time, I wanted to have a say beyond the same three canned designs.
“What?” Sebastian said, looking up.
“They’re . . .” Dull. Unvaried. Boring designs created in mass to produce as many houses as they could with the smallest investment they could muster up. “Basic.”
“I thought this is what you’d like.”
“This? The newest, ugliest thing in town?”
“It’s the closest thing to houses in LA,” he said.
I shook my head. “This isn’t LA. These houses are misplaced and horrendous. They look like wooden shoeboxes with stapled siding that would blow us out of this dimension if we were in a storm. I don’t like them.”
Sebastian only blinked at me.
Shit. I wasn’t supposed to have opinions. I wasn’t supposed to make metaphors and use descriptors.
I was supposed to use that only in writing.
“If we’re putting down roots,” I said, trying to make my voice light and airy like he was used to, “then we should do what the locals do.”
He nodded, and without any further questioning, he turned to Jordan.
“Let’s look at the older houses.”
“Oh, I have some beautiful ones then!”
The one she chose wasn’t far from us. It was nestled on a corner lot and had a large yard. There was one neighbor, and their house looked original.
It had painted blue siding and a long, stone pathway leading up to a red door. When I saw it, my heart reached out for it. I didn’t think I could want anything in this town, but this I loved.
“All right, here we are!” Jordan announced. “It’s two floors, but a little smaller than what you’re used to. It’s move-in ready and has some of the original detail of the house.”
I blinked up at it. “Can we go in?” My voice was hushed, awestruck.
What I was feeling from seeing the outside only doubled when we walked inside.
Beautiful wood flooring, arranged in intricate geometric patterns flowed from the foyer into the deeper parts of the house. Gorgeous, shiny, wooden planked steps led to the second floor. The wallpaper was new, and a gorgeous, picture-ready emerald with ornate floral designs.
I almost cried.
“It’s nice,” Sebastian said. I blinked, trying not to show how much I wanted this.
“There are three bedrooms,” Jordan said as she walked us into the foyer. “One is a master, which is downstairs, and there are two others and a bathroom upstairs. The kitchen is back here,” she said as we walked through the living room, “and it’s been updated with new appliances and countertops.”
The kitchen was gorgeous. The countertop was butcher block on the island and quartz on the rest. The cabinets were two-toned, the top light blue, and the bottom navy.
“That’s the look I like to see,” Jordan said, glancing at the deep interest on my face.
Sebastian followed her gaze, and I tried to squash my amazement that something in this town could be so beautiful.
“It’s . . . nice,” I said. I could think of a hundred other words to call it, but I kept them in.
“She’s near tears!” Jordan said, laughing. Sebastian looked at me again, his face entirely unreadable.
He stared at me for a moment, and then turned to Jordan. “This is the one,” he said.
“Oh! You’re quick deciders. Before I write up an offer letter, you need to see the other bedrooms. They’re lovely too!”
The master bedroom was spacious and had a large tub in the adjoining bath, but one of the bedrooms upstairs had a reading nook that I needed in my life. With so much natural light, inspiration immediately flowed through me.
I wanted that one.
“Congratulations!” Jordan said as we signed paperwork to put the offer down and told my dad which one we wanted. “Thanks for working with me today.”
She left us in the driveway of what would be our future home, and I couldn’t look away.
“You really like this house,” he murmured.
“It’s good for photos,” I muttered, even though that was definitely not why I liked it.
“Right,” he said. “I’m sure it will look great on Instagram.”
I nodded, but the ache in my chest wanted me to holler from the rooftops that I hated social media. I wanted this house because it was beautiful, not because of what it could do for me. Reach out, it told me. You want this.
I shook it away. I didn’t want to have conversations with Sebastian. I wanted to be free from my family and write my books in peace. Anything else was a lingering hope that should have died four years ago.
Sebastian and I rode back to the airport without another word to each other.
As we did so, I looked at all the restaurants Nashville had to offer. I was surprised that it rivaled LA in diversity. If I were by myself, I would have stopped and tried as many of the restaurants as I could.
I saw ramen places, hot chicken restaurants, and brightly lit taco trucks. Maybe I’d find time to try some of them while Sebastian toiled his nights away at the office.
But for now, we were going back to LA for the last time.
After our flight, I was exhausted. I walked through the monotone colors of Sebastian’s house, and went to my room, which was on the opposite side of the house. It was one of the last times I’d sleep there, and I couldn’t bring myself to care. It was all I could do to post a photo on Instagram before I flipped off my light and went straight to bed.
Photo: Sebastian and Lily on their last vacation.
LilyRMiller: Throwback to my vacation with this hunk! We’ve been SO busy planning our new lives in Nashville. I can wait to share more with you!
SebandLily4ever: When are you going to have babies?? I saw the article and I CAN’T stop thinking about it!
Cupcakedevourer: The way people talk about your relationship is gross. I am so sorry guys…
SebandLily4ever: They share it with us because they love us! They want us to comment!!!
