After that day, things changed.
It started as a smile when he got home from work, and then a conversation as we ate dinner together.
He kept me up-to-date on The Fair Originals news, which I was barely able to keep a straight face at.
It was hard not to blurt out something incriminating, but so far, I hoped my awkwardness only came across as not being used to talking about my interests.
Now that I knew he’d read the series, it would be easy for him to pick up on what I was doing if I ever did write around him. This new development ensured I only ever did so outside of the house, more often than not at the coffee shop. Because I was already out of our home, whenever I’d get stuck on a scene, it was easier to find a park to walk through, which made me gradually get to know Nashville better.
As I explored, I began to get used to our house’s interstate exit. I knew where to go to get a good breakfast, as well as where to buy the cheapest gas. As it all became familiar, I found it growing on me just a bit. Even though I had no friends here, I still enjoyed it.
And while I missed Jessie, I gave her the space she asked for. If she was truly done with watching me sabotage my life, there wasn’t much I could do to change her mind.
I kept up with social media as best I could. I hated it, and now that Sebastian knew I did, I was worried about asking him to pose with me.
It was easier when we both thought the other was fine with it.
But as comments started speculating about our lack of new photos, Martin told us to get it together.
And that was that.
It was late September. The air was cooling in ways I wasn’t used to. The humidity was getting lower and the bugs were going away. It was still warm during the day, but nights were chilly.
Pumpkins were everywhere, and I had set up for a photoshoot at Cheekwood botanical garden. It was popular with the locals, and I knew it would look good if Sebastian and I were getting out and seeing the Nashville sights.
I was intending to say something cheesy along with the perfect shot, thanking Martin himself for introducing us. People would eat it up.
The day of, I got ready at a snail’s pace. My outfit was all cream and burnt orange, perfect for fall. I was wearing a tighter dress and a loose sweater with my usual photoshoot makeup painted on.
When I walked into the living room in heels, looking perfect, I could have sworn Sebastian was almost disappointed.
“You look . . .”
“Photo ready?” I finished. “Yeah, I have to be. With your father breathing down our necks, this needs to look good. I can’t afford to take shortcuts here.”
“Right,” he said. “I mean, you look good, but not like you.”
I shrugged. “This is the side of me I have to show.”
He nodded.
“Let’s get this over with before the sun comes out and ruins the lighting,” I said, uneasy at Sebastian’s words.
It didn’t make sense. He should like me when I was at my best. Him liking me when I wasn’t was a hard thing to accept.
“Can we stop for coffee first?” Sebastian asked as walked out of the house.
“I know a place we can go,” I told him, giving him the name of the coffee shop I frequented.
It was busy, and I hoped we wouldn’t get a barista I’d talked to before, but when I saw Riley, the manager, I knew I’d be recognized.
Riley was sweet and talked to me every time I came in. I was pretty sure she wondered what the hell I worked on all day but I had no clue what she would say to me.
“On second thought,” I told Sebastian, realizing that she could out my activities here, “maybe we should go to Starbucks.”
“Why?” he asked suspiciously.
“Uh, I’m in the mood for a large chain?”
He crossed his arms. “You’re lying. You don’t want me here for some reason.”
Shit. Why did he have to notice so much now of all times?
“No, it’s not that, I just . . .”
“Hey, Lily!” Riley called from the front counter. “Want your usual?”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow at me.
There was no going back now. I could only hope Riley wouldn’t spill the secret about my writing to Sebastian.
“Um, sure.”
“Wow, you look so good today. Not that you don’t always look good, of course. Are you heading to do something fun?”
“Oh you know.” My family has me married to a man and contractually obligated to take cheesy, annoying photos for social media. “I just wanted to dress up.”
“It looks nice.” Riley’s eyes landed on Sebastian. “Who is this?”
“This is my husband,” I said.
“Oh, you’re married?” she asked.
I panicked. Sometimes when I was alone, I hid my wedding ring. I always thought it looked out of place on me. If I’d had a choice, I would have gone for something way simpler than the shiny, large diamond on my hand.
“Uh, yeah,” I replied. “I’ve been married for four years. This is Sebastian.”
“Sebastian,” Riley said, smiling. “Nice to meet you.”
Sebastian looked tense, but he at least smiled back. “You too,” he said.
“I guess you’re not going to be sticking around like you usually do today?” she asked.
“Nope, not today!” I said, begging for her not to say anything else. “Um, Sebastian would like an Americano,” I said. “We’re excited to get to Cheekwood for a date before it gets too busy.”
“Oh, it’s so nice this time of year. I take my family all the time.”
I took out my card to pay without thinking, chewing on the inside of my cheek nervously. I just needed to survive this interaction with my writing still a secret. It shouldn’t be too difficult.
Fortunately for me, Riley was pulled away to help one of her employees, and I went to the pickup window gratefully.
As we waited, he said, “You must come here often.”
“Uh, yeah,” I told him, not able to look him in the eyes. “To . . . read.”
“You can’t do that at the house?”
“I could, but a change of scenery is nice sometimes.”
The excuse sounded weak to my own ears.
Sebastian only looked at me. I didn’t know what he wanted me to say, but thankfully we got our coffee orders from one of the other baristas, and I nearly ran from there.
I climbed into the car without another word, thankful my makeup was covering my red cheeks.
Sebastian let out a long breath in the car, almost as if he were exhaling the entire coffee shop from his lungs.
I couldn’t think of anything to say without blurting out that I was there to write.
His expression was pinched, and I couldn’t help but think it was because Riley knew me and things that he didn’t. I wanted to tell him, and perhaps if I wasn’t dumb enough to base a terrible character off of him, I could have.
The Fair Originals was filled with tidbits of my life that should never have seen the light of day. If people knew it was me behind it, they’d tear apart every word to look for details about my life. I’m sure my sales would spike, but my family would try to take a piece of my work’s profits if they knew they inspired me in any way.
Even if it was inspired by the pain they caused me.
We drove in silence until we pulled into the graveled parking lot of Cheekwood. It was busy, which was going to make photos tricky, but I pushed back nervousness to try to make the day the best it could be.
Cheekwood was beautiful. There were pumpkins everywhere. Food trucks and a pavilion with live music lined one side of the property. I ached to experience the food and the fields of the estate. I heard there was a mansion and old secrets I could find if I looked hard enough.
It was almost too bad that I was only here for photos.
The pumpkin patch was right at the front. Kids were running around, trying to convince their parents to get some of the outrageously expensive gourds on display. I couldn’t help the grin that made its way onto my face.
I turned to find Sebastian looking at me with his head tilted, one eyebrow raised.
“What?” I asked.
“You were smiling at those kids. Not your camera smile, though. Your real one.”
“They’re funny.” I looked at him. “I mean, I’m sure their parents don’t think it’s funny that they’re running around, but I think it is. They’re so innocent. They ask for what they want without thinking about what others will say about it.”
“You like kids?” Sebastian asked, a hint of disbelief in his voice.
“Yeah, I do,” I told him.
My mother’s advice flashed through my head again.
“But maybe I wouldn’t be a good mom,” I added quickly. Guilt spread through me, as if I had been following through with my mother’s plan unintentionally.
“I didn’t peg you for a kid kind of person.”
“And I didn’t peg you for the kind of guy who liked The Fair Originals.”
Sebastian’s eyes twinkled.
“That’s true.”
A knot of tension released in my stomach at his smile. Whatever had transpired in the coffee shop seemed to be passing, and I felt a little lighter.
Spurred on by our truce, I gestured to a picturesque scene decorated with pumpkins to tell him it was time to take photos. Sebastian followed and helped me set up the camera, which he usually didn’t do. It was an act of patience to wait for the perfect timing where no one was around, but we did it.
I got a few shots using a tiny remote in my hand, hidden from view. Sebastian put his hands on my hips and leaned in closely, like he always did, which usually came with a lot of awkwardness.
But his hands were warm and his body so close.
Other than the times we had slept together, Sebastian and I literally only touched each other in front of a camera, and only if we were performing. That meant every touch had to look good, not feel good.
But this felt a little different. He was tense and my body enjoyed feeling his chest against mine.
I almost forgot to snap the photo.
When we leaned in for a cheesy, romantic kiss, it felt different than others. His lips closed over mine and the warmth of his body in the cool fall air gave me goosebumps.
I wanted more.
But we had photos to take. We took a bunch, all in different positions. I knew from experience that the one where Sebastian’s head leaned on my forehead and the one of us kissing would be the most popular.
My body was humming, and all I could think of was him against me. My brain unhelpfully flashed images of his hands all over me, and the pleasure that usually came after.
“Okay,” I said. “We’re done. I have all that I need.”
Sebastian nodded, putting his hands in his pockets. When he stepped away, I was disappointed.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked.
I bit my lip. Despite feeling warm from his touch, I wasn’t exactly ready to go back to our different floors in our home. I wanted to try the food trucks and listen to the music. I wanted to feel like I wanted to be here, not forced to be.
“Um, you can go if you want,” I told him. “I’ll Uber home.”
“Why?”
“Because it looks fun here,” I replied. “But you were only here for the photos, so I understand if you want to get some work done at the house.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No,” I said, “but I’m about to try every food truck and explore. I might be here awhile. You’re welcome to join me, but I don’t know if this is something you’ll enjoy.”
He watched me for a moment, his expression pensive. A part of me wanted to stay and see if the buzz of having him around would stick with me. For once, I was enjoying his company as well as the sight of him. But if he did leave, then maybe I could cool down and not make a fool of myself by coming on to him.
After a moment of staring at me, he looked around the gardens, truly seeing it for the first time.
“Maybe . . . maybe I’ll stay. But can we put the camera in the car?” he asked. “I don’t want to use it anymore.”
I nodded vigorously. “Yes, please. This thing is heavy.”
After dropping off the camera, both of us felt lighter. We were no longer the married couple there for photos, we were just two people hanging out together.
At the car, I ripped off my thick sweater, feeling overheated as the sun peaked out from behind the clouds. I removed my heels as well, trading them for flats. The final adjustment to my appearance was braiding my hair to get it out of my face. The simple changes only took me a few minutes, and I felt a lot better.
When I turned to Sebastian, his sleeves were rolled up and his top button loose. He’d also run a hand through his hair, messing it up. I had to look away from him before he caught me staring hungrily.
We walked back to the food trucks, my stomach begging for food. I immediately spotted a gourmet grilled cheese truck and one for waffles and ice cream.
“What do you want?” Sebastian asked.
“I was serious when I said I was trying everything.”
“Oh,” he said. “Isn’t that going to ruin your diet?”
I glared at him.
“Not that you should be worried about it!” he quickly corrected. “It’s just that for our entire marriage, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat ice cream, much less ten things from ten different food trucks.”
“I don’t like being forced on a diet,” I replied. “I love eating. I’ve been wanting to try everything in Nashville since the moment we arrived. I’ll photoshop every picture if it means I can finally eat a fucking waffle.”
“Okay,” he said. “Then we’ll do that. Let’s get everything.”
“You don’t have to do this with me, you know.”
“I know,” he said, smiling down at me, “but I’ve been meaning to try the food here too.”
“You haven’t already?” I asked. “Nothing when we first moved?”
I wanted to add “when Heather was here,” but we were getting along so well today I figured I shouldn’t ruin it.
“No,” he said. “I haven’t known where to begin, and it’s not exactly fun going to new places alone.”
“I could go with you,” I said. “If you wanted.”
“I’d like that,” he said, smiling again, “but we need to figure out what to eat here first.”
“Definitely the loaded hash browns,” I said, pointing to the left-most truck. “Then I want some of that hot apple cider. We can end on the other side with the ice cream and waffle truck.”
“I like the way you think, honey,” he said. “Lead the way.”
My entire body heated at his use of the pet name he only used during sex, but I walked ahead of him anyway, trying to focus more on the food and less on my husband’s borderline flirtatious words.
“Oh my God,” I said the moment I saw the menu. I grabbed Sebastian’s arm and pulled him to stand next to me. “They have Philly steak hash browns.”
“I don’t know how authentic that is, considering we’re not in Philly.”
“Who cares about authenticity? It looks good.”
“Then we’ll get that.”
“We?”
“I figure if we’re eating everything, we should probably stick to one item and share it, but we can get our own if you want.”
I wasn’t against sharing, but this was the most couple-like thing we’d ever done with no cameras around us.
It didn’t do anything to calm my needy heart.
“Sure,” I said. “Sharing is fine.”
We waited in line for a few minutes, Sebastian standing close enough that I could feel his body heat next to me. I found myself wanting more of it. When I wasn’t walking, the air was chilly enough to have my skin erupt in goosebumps.
I wondered what he would do if I fully leaned into him, if I simply gave up having any space between us. Would he wrap his arms around me and smile, or would he awkwardly shuffle away and tell me there was someone else?
Unfortunately, I didn’t have long to think on it, because Sebastian was ordering our food and paying.
The food truck was obscenely fast; right after we placed our order, it was ready.
The minute I saw golden brown, crispy potatoes topped with steak, cheese, and peppers, all thoughts of romance flew out the window.
I was starving.
I reached for it, but Sebastian held it up over his head.
“Hang on,” he said, laughing. “We need to find a picnic table, or we’ll make a mess.”
I didn’t like that he was right. If I tore into the food, my dress would be covered in cheese. It didn’t take long to find an empty set of seats. Just as a family was cleaning up their mess, he used his long legs to quickly stride thought the crowd and overtake the picnic table before anyone else could swoop in.
The moment we sat down, I had a forkful shoved in my mouth.
“Holy shit,” I said the moment the flavor of seasoned meat and cheese hit my tongue. “This is incredible. The steak is so tender, and even more exquisite soaked in this cheese. And the potatoes; how did they keep them so crispy when smothered like this? I don’t think I’ve had anything this good in the four years we’ve been married.”
He laughed again, a soft, musical chuckle, and took the fork from me. “It must be amazing.”
He took one bite, froze, and said, “Okay, yeah. This is all of those things you described.”
“I could live on these potatoes,” I moaned.
“I don’t know if they’ll last long enough,” he said as I stole the fork from him.
“It’s so good that I don’t even care about how gross I must look right now. I only care about food.”
“It’s fine. I’ve never seen you so . . . excited.”
“I am excited. I wasn’t living until I ate these hash browns.”
“There’s more to try,” he said. “We still have apple cider to get.”
“I can’t believe I forgot,” I said, moving to stand up. “I better go—”
“I’ll get it,” he said, laughing. He took one large bite of food before adding, “You can have the rest of this. I’ll be back with more.”
I paused in my eating as I watched him walk off. Was food a love language? Because I was more attracted to him now than I’d ever been.
It did not help that his pants left nothing to the imagination.
By the time he was back, I’d been watching him for a few minutes, my body attuned to his every motion. I knew what he was like in bed, and him treating me like this made me only want him more.
“Here you go,” he said, setting down a steaming cup of hot apple cider. “I want to at least try it.”
I nodded, picking up the cup and blowing on the liquid.
“I saved you a little,” I said, offering the food back to him.
“Really? I thought you’d devour it.”
“I’m saving room.”
Actually, it was that I was too busy looking at him to remember to eat. If he was making me forget about food of all things, then I was in trouble.
Sebastian took the plate and finished it off as I enjoyed the apple cider. It helped keep me warm from the day’s chill, though I still longed for Sebastian to sit closer to me.
We made our rounds on the food trucks. We got what looked the best from each place and then sat down to eat it. By the time I was done, I was bloated as hell, but in such a good mood I couldn’t be bothered to suck it in.
I wondered if Sebastian would say something about my belly showing in my tight dress, but he never commented on it.
By the time we got to the waffle truck, both of us were decidedly full. I still wanted the strawberry Oreo waffle though, and I didn’t care if I had to eat it by myself.
“I can’t believe every single food truck we’ve been to has been so good,” he said.
“I’m banking on this last one being the best. I haven’t had ice cream in forever.”
“I’ll have a bite,” he said, “but that’s all I can do.”
“More for me,” I announced.
The waffle wound up being huge, so much so that even I would not be able to finish it. It was rolled up like a cone with strawberry ice cream and Oreos mixed together. There was a massive dollop of whipped cream on the top that immediately fell on my hand.
I licked it up, tongue darting out to catch the sweet liquid.
Sebastian’s eyes were on my mouth, and he looked interested. Which didn’t make sense, considering how messy and loud I’d been all day.
No one should like me this way, yet I was starting to wonder if he did.
“Want some?” I asked, holding out the cone.
“Uh, sure,” he said, blinking out of his stupor. He took a bite, and then nodded. “This is also amazing. We’ve really been missing out.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m never going to a chain again.”
“So, we’ve tried all the food trucks,” he said. “What’s next?”
“I want to see the mansion,” I said, pointing in its direction. “Want to join me?”
“Yes,” he said. “Let me finish this first.”
Sebastian downed the soda he’d gotten at the fourth food truck, and I found my eyes drawn to his throat as he drank. I really needed to get it together before I jumped him in this park. Him on top of me was all I could think of.
Maybe he would want something from me. After all, Heather wasn’t in town and hadn’t been for a while. I wasn’t sure if she was moving here, but I hoped not considering how well Sebastian and I were getting along.
“Okay,” he said, his voice a little rough from his drink. “Let’s go see this mansion.”
I had to stop myself from launching at him right then and there, and I forced myself to focus on leading us through the gardens. As we looked at different rooms of the mansion, he stood close to me, his body heat reminding me exactly what I wanted.
It also didn’t help that he was being more expressive. I liked how much he smiled at me and seemed genuinely interested in whatever I had to say. I always thought he was good looking when he was straight faced and serious.
But this? It was way worse.
As we finished touring the house, I was about to explode.
“Let’s explore some more,” he said. “I want to find that outdoor observatory the tour guide told us about.”
“Sure,” I said, but the words went in one ear and out the other. My mind was in another place entirely, and I was wondering if his car had a dark enough tint for us to do something there. I didn’t even think I could make it back to the house.
We eventually found what must have been an old night sky observing deck. It was the wrong time of day, and no one seemed to come in or out. We had been by ourselves for a long time while exploring because the clouds had turned dark and most of the other visitors went to the mansion in case it rained.
When we got inside the concrete building, Sebastian craned his neck up, giving me another good look at his fucking amazing jawline. I snapped.
When he turned to me, I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him to me. I kissed him roughly, a bubble of fear in my gut that I’d be rejected, but also a feeling of relief that his body was touching mine.
I hadn’t touched him in so long that this felt like a necessary release.
He responded quickly, kissing me back with the same amount of perfect force.
But then he stopped.
“Lily,” he said, nearly panting, “we’re in public.”
“No one’s around,” I replied.
“Are you suggesting we continue this here?” he asked. “What’s gotten into you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I like the nerdy guy who’s nice to me.”
“I didn’t realize it was so simple for you.”
“Please?” I begged. “It’s been too long. It’s about to rain so no one’s out. We would hear someone way before they would see us.”
His eyes were dark as he stared at me. “And this is what you want? To have sex in the rain where anyone could catch us?”
“Well, we wouldn’t be in the rain. The angle of the roof would keep us dry.”
“That’s not a no to the rest of it.”
“It’s you,” I said, my eyes trailing over his face, “so of course I’d want you, no matter where we are.”
Sebastian turned toward the entrance, jaw ticked as he considered. There was no one coming and ran began to gently fall. Cheekwood was quiet.
That seemed to cement his decision.
Sebastian kissed me again, one hand on my hip to pull me close. I pressed my body against his, my skin begging to be touched. Our lips moved against each other’s, and I instantly opened to him when his tongue swiped my bottom lip.
Sebastian moved, turning us so I was against the wall, and he was pressing me into it. The hand on my hip moved to trail the exposed skin on my legs, causing goosebumps to erupt from his touch.
I hiked my other leg around him, pressing him closer to me. My dress hitched dangerously high, and I could feel air on my center through my lace thong.
The hand on my leg moved to my core and he groaned quietly when he touched part of my bare skin.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Were you planning this?”
“Not really,” I said. “But I’d say it worked out.”
His hand slipped past my thong and touched my center, causing me to whimper.
“You’re going to have to be quiet if we’re doing this.”
I shut my mouth.
He circled my clit in the infuriatingly perfect way he always did. My whole body came alive, and I was more than ready for him to fuck me.
“Sebastian,” I whispered.
“Shh,” he said, silencing me with a kiss. “Let me do this for you.”
“I want you in me,” I whined, struggling to keep my voice low.
“That can be arranged,” he said, pushing one finger into my entrance. I was so turned on he slid in easily, and his fingers found my inner walls, right where my G-spot was. I bit his shoulder, trying not to let any noises escape me. He fucked me slowly with his fingers, using his index finger to enter me, and his thumb to circle my clit.
“M-more,” I whispered, and he added another finger. It wasn’t as much as I needed, but the pressure inside of me was enough to build me toward something.
Something I needed.
But as I got close, I realized I needed more than his fingers could provide. I was right on the edge, but I needed him and nothing else.
“Sebastian,” I whispered. “I need you to fuck me. I can’t . . . I can’t finish without you today.”
“If you insist,” he said, and he unzipped his pants. He paused when he did.
“I don’t have a condom.”
“I have an IUD,” I told him. “And I’m clean. I get tested regularly.”
“I do too,” he said. “Are you sure?”
“Please,” I said. “Please, I need you in me.”
Sebastian nodded and lined himself up with my entrance. I shivered as I felt his cock press into me.
As he eased in, I heard him curse to himself. He went slow, but it looked like he was struggling not to lose control.
I moved my hips and he slipped further inside, nearly to the hilt. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I felt full.
Finally.
Sebastian pushed more into me, finally bottoming out. I gasped as he began to move his hips, giving me the delicious friction I needed.
I was on my tiptoes to be near his height, and from where he stood, he drove himself up into me, his body hitting me right where I needed him. He wasn’t gentle this time, and I didn’t need him to be. I wanted him to fuck me harder because my body was crying out for it.
As he moved, I felt myself build again, but this time it didn’t stop. I leaned my head against the concrete roughly while my orgasm hit me, pulsating through me, giving me wave after wave of pleasure.
I grew wetter for him and his thrusts started making noise. He only sped up and I felt him slam into me with a quiet groan as he finished inside of me.
We both stared at each other, heaving as the reality of what we’d just done hit us. We’d never fucked in a public place, and it was otherworldly. Had us talking and getting along led to this? Was this something we could have each time?
My body was shaking, and he pulled out of me right before my legs couldn’t take the position anymore. I had to keep them closed to prevent anything from falling out, which somehow wasn’t a turn off.
Sebastian looked at me, almost as if he couldn’t believe what we’d just done.
I was thinking the same thing.
Photo: a montage of Sebastian and Lily. They’re kissing in one, holding each other in another, and looking happy in the final shot.
LilyRMiller: Look at these gorgeous photos! I never imagined I could find such a lovely place in Nashville. Definitely check out Cheekwood before the beautiful season is over!
SebandLily4ever: These look soooo good! Look at those heart eyes!
Diehardfan21: these two give me the creeps.
User293847203294: hey girl, why dont you send me a dm instead
