Present
“FASTER!” I SHOUTED, the speedboat bouncing over the water as I spotted the yacht ahead.
The lights in the hull glowed purple on the black water, making the large white vessel look like a star out in the night.
“It’s at top speed,” Will threw back, his face twisted in worry. “Relax. He left that note for a reason. He wants us to find her.”
“That doesn’t mean he’s not hurting her,” I gritted out. “Hurry!”
Gusts of wind hit us as we raced over the water. Kai and I had to hold the dash and windshield to keep steady as the small, black speedboat gained on Pithom.
Fucking Trevor.
When I’d gotten to Rika’s apartment, she hadn’t answered the door, so I used my key and barged in, finding the whole damn place dark and empty with nothing but a note lying on the floor.
One word. Pithom.
I flew out of the apartment and called the harbormaster as I sped out of the city. He confirmed that Pithom was in Thunder Bay today and Trevor had, indeed, had a small crew take it out this afternoon. I then called Will and Kai, telling them to meet me at the docks, where Kai’s family kept a speedboat. My family’s speedboat was probably with Trevor—and Damon, who was no doubt in on this, too.
I love you, Michael.
My chest shook, and I ran my hand through my hair. “Rika,” I murmured to myself. “Please be alright.”
The yacht got bigger as we got closer, and Will slowed the engine, circling the craft all the way around to the stern where we slowed to a crawl. I immediately jumped out, while Kai secured a line.
I spotted my family’s red speedboat on the port side and turned to Will. “You stay here,” I told him. “Keep an eye on the speed boats and blare the fog horn if you see anything.”
I didn’t want Trevor or Damon trying to take off with her.
He nodded, reaching into the compartment near the steering wheel and pulling out the horn.
I looked at Kai, gesturing up. “Top deck,” I ordered. “And keep your eyes open. They know we’re coming.”
Kai took the stairs to my right while I walked across the deck, past the pool, and into the salon. I didn’t blink, forcing myself to go slowly even though every muscle in my body wanted to charge ahead, looking for her.
A Glock was tucked into my black pants, loaded with all ten rounds, but I kept it hidden under my T-shirt. Chances were they’d see me before I saw them, and I wanted the element of surprise.
I darted my glare to the white camera in the ceiling, the small ball rolling and zooming in.
He knew I was here and exactly where I was.
Treading lightly and keeping my eyes open, I crept across the room and into the dimly lit passageway. There were two cabins on the left and one on the right. She could be anywhere, and I hoped Kai, who was on deck above, had found her already.
I took a step to the left, grabbing the door handle, but a whimper stopped me in my tracks, and I listened.
A grunt followed, and I turned toward my parent’s cabin and threw open the door.
Rika laid on my parents’ bed, struggling with the ropes that were tied to her wrists. She jerked her head toward the door, noticing me, and sucked in a breath, her face cracking.
“Michael,” she cried softly. “No, you shouldn’t have come.”
I charged over and grabbed the rope, seeing the broken glass. “Goddammit, what did they do to you?”
Her hands were tied above her head, bleeding, and her hair was damp with sweat. Little pools of blood sat in the creases of her hands, and she held a shard of glass in her fist.
“I needed to cut the rope.” Her voice shook, and I noticed that the glass in the headboard was shattered. She’d broken it, trying to escape.
I took the shard out of her hand and sawed the remainder of the thread. “I’ll get you out of here. I’m so sorry, baby.”
A horn blared outside, and I shot my head up, my veins firing. “Son of a bitch.”
Something was wrong.
I severed the rope, tossing the shard on the bed, and pulled her up, the binding still wrapped around her wrists.
“Come here.” I took her hands and turned them palm up.
But she pulled them away. “I’m okay,” she insisted. “We have to get out of here. They wanted you to find me. They could be anywhere.”
My arms ached with the need to hold her, but I held back. We couldn’t waste time. Will needed us, and she was fine.
I turned around but held her wrist, keeping her close behind me as I walked through the door, looking left and right to make sure it was clear.
“Damon’s with Trevor,” she whispered.
“I figured.”
“He’s the one that took me from my apartment.”
I shook my head, trying to keep the anger at bay. Rika’s hands were shredded, because she was saving herself. Not waiting for me.
I’d always wanted that for her, hadn’t I? To fight for herself?
But all I felt was rage now. They’d taken her from me, and they could’ve taken her forever.
I may never have found her.
“Come on,” I urged, pulling her through the salon again, toward the sliding glass doors and the stern.
But as soon as we stepped on deck, I spotted Kai on the ground, and I straightened, bracing myself. He was breathing heavily with blood coming out of his nose and mouth. Damon stood over him, glaring at me, and I shot my eyes to the speedboat behind him.
It was empty. Where the fuck was Will?
I inched out into the still air, pushing Rika behind me. Shit.
Kai and Rika were hurt, Will was missing, and I had no idea how the hell was going to get us out of this.
Then I saw Trevor. He stood next to the side of the yacht, with amusement in his eyes as he stared at me.
He crooked a finger, urging us over.
Rika tried to inch around me, but I tightened my grip on her arm, keeping her there. Leveling my gaze on my brother, I stepped over to the side and peered over.
“Will.” I lost my breath.
He was in the water, his head barely staying above the surface. I spotted a line of rope coming out of the water near him and followed it as it trailed up the side of the boat, over the edge, and onto the deck. The end was tethered to two cinderblocks at Trevor’s feet, and there were also two more sets of blocks with ropes secured to them.
Jesus.
“He’s got my hands tied behind my back, man!” Will shouted.
Which meant he couldn’t untie the other end of the rope, most likely secured around one of his feet or both.
Will bounced in the water, trying to stay afloat with his legs, but he was struggling.
I lurched for Trevor.
But he pulled his hand out, holding up a pistol, and I stopped, glaring at him.
“What the fuck?” I yelled.
“Did you know that the average depth of the Atlantic Ocean is 10,955 feet?” he asked calmly, ignoring my anger. “It’s dark. Cold. And when something goes down there, it’s not coming back up.”
And then he glanced at Will in the water before turning his eyes back on me. “You would never find him.”
I shot my gaze to Kai. He rested on his hands and knees, trying to stable himself, and I could see blood streaming down the side of his face.
“Are you okay? I rushed out.
“I’m fine,” he bit out, but I could tell he was shaky.
“I should’ve done her before you got here,” Trevor went on, gesturing to Rika behind me. “But really, what fun is it if you can’t watch, right?”
“What the fuck are you doing, Trevor?” I asked as I slowly reached behind me and tapping my back, signaling to Rika.
She slid her hand up the inside of my shirt and pulled the gun out, slipping it into my hand behind my thigh.
“I don’t know,” Trevor answered, fake confusion on his face. “But I’m certainly enjoying myself.”
What the hell was the matter with him? He hated me. I knew that. But Will? Kai? Rika? He couldn’t get away with this. Had he lost his fucking mind?
“Go ahead,” he challenged, pointing the gun at me. “Rush me. You’d take a bullet, but you’d still take me down.”
I shook my head and turned my eyes on Damon. “Don’t do this,” I implored. “Will and Kai have never hurt you. Rika’s never hurt you.”
“But hurting them will hurt you,” Damon retorted, planting his foot on Kai’s back and shoving his back to the ground.
Kai grunted, squeezing his eyes shut. From the way he grabbed his side I could guess he had a few broken ribs.
“You’ve never suffered,” Damon snarled. “You’ve never had to lose, and this will change your life forever. You should never have chosen her over us.”
“You’re a fucking coward!” Kai shouted at him.
Damon just scowled at him and then looked up at me again, an ocean separating us. I didn’t even recognize him anymore.
“Tell me you’ll let her go,” he demanded. “Tell me everything can go back to the way it was in high school.”
I steeled my spine, squeezing Rika’s arm behind me.
“She has no place with us, and you give her too much power over you,” he continued. “Tell me she’s nothing. Tell me you’d choose us over her. Or better yet…” He paused, a glint in his eyes. “Tell me you’d trade Rika for Will and Kai.”
My throat tightened, and my heart hammered in my chest.
“Choose,” Trevor pressed. “Rika can take Will’s place, and the four of you can be like none of this ever happened.”
I heard her breathing behind me, shallow and fast, and I knew she was scared.
I could feel her everywhere. On my skin, in my chest, in my hands…
The sweetness of her lips as she panted against my mouth in the steam room….
I love you, Michael.
“Will and Kai will be fine,” Damon assured. “But you have to sacrifice her.”
Sacrifice her. I can’t…
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
She was everywhere. Always everywhere. Years and years, and there was no shaking her. Every time I closed my eyes she was there.
It feels like you.
Sixteen and looking at me like I was God.
You’re in everything.
The moment I knew that heart of hers was mine, and I couldn’t wait to be inside of her.
Yes, it turns me on.
Seeing her go over that edge and trust me to jump with her as I felt her from the inside for the first time and she come apart in my arms. God…
I dropped my eyes to Kai, seeing my friend, and I could hear Will calling us from the water, begging, and what the fuck was I supposed to do?
But Trevor didn’t wait for an answer.
He reached down and hauled up the blocks, sitting them on the edge of the yacht.
“No!” I shouted, letting go of Rika and holding out my hand. “Stop! Just…just wait!”
He tilted the blocks back and forth, toying with me.
“Stop!” I growled. “Just…” I ground my teeth together, my head swimming. “Fuck you!”
If I shot one of them, he would still have time to dump the blocks, and Damon could make short of Kai before I even had a chance. I might be able to get Rika out of here, but I wouldn’t be able to save them.
“Why are you doing this?” I bared my teeth, seething. “Why?”
“For this!” Trevor finally growled, showing his anger. “For this, right here. To see you exactly like this. You’re so fucking desperate, it’s priceless.”
He took his hands off the blocks, leaving them to sit on the ledge, teetering and threatening to fall with the slightest vibration.
“I could say it was all the attention laid on you for your basketball career,” he explained, “the way you always finished things I could never even start, or the way Rika always loved you, not once ever looking at me the way she did you.”
He hung the gun at his side and glared past me to Rika, who had stepped up next to me.
“But really?” He gazed at her. “I think it’s because the great Michael Crist is so fucking helpless right now, and I want to see the look in her eyes when she knows it’s about to end and that you can’t help her.”
I breathed in and out, my lungs getting smaller and smaller.
“Don’t worry,” Trevor soothed. “You’ll join her soon.”
And then Trevor shot out his hand and pushed the blocks off the ledge. I growled, raging as I rushed forward, swinging out my arm, and firing the gun three times, hitting him.
But I didn’t see where.
I threw the gun down and leapt up to the ledge, diving off just as Will’s head disappeared under the surface.
I crashed through the water, my body immediately submerging and going cold with the rush of the icy black October sea.
I opened my eyes, seeing Will just ahead of me, sinking fast, and struggling against his ropes. I kicked and pushed my way through the water, reaching out and grabbing him by the shirt.
But when I tried to pull him up, kicking and fighting my way to the surface, the purple light overhead was only disappearing.
We were sinking.
I dived back down, keeping hold of his clothes as my lungs stretched, growing desperate for air. Reaching his foot, I worked the knot, the fucking weight of the blocks making it hard to get the rope to thread back out.
Will twisted and fought, keeping his eyes on the surface, and I yanked and jerked at the rope, trying to get him free.
But the water was only getting blacker. The lights from the yacht were all but gone, and Rika and Kai were up there alone.
I growled, the sound muffled in the water as I pulled and thrashed.
Fuck!
I couldn’t let him go. Please.
Not again.
Squeezing the rope between my chilled fingers, I worked and pried, tearing my skin until…
It gave way. The rope dislodged, and I quickly unraveled it, pulling it apart and letting the blocks and rope sink away into the clack depths. I kept hold of Will and pulled him to the surface as he kicked.
We broke through the water, sucking in air, and I darted my gaze up, seeing Kai with his hands around Damon’s neck. He pressed him against the edge of the yacht and then pulled his fist back and punched him.
Rika.
“Go over there!” I shouted at Will, gesturing to the speedboat.
“What about my hands?” His body was shaking from the water.
“I have to get to Rika.” And I swam for the yacht again.
But then something crashed into the water on my right, and I looked up to see a rope draping down the side of the boat.
What the…?
Two blocks came spilling over the edge then, sinking into the ocean, and I jerked my head up, seeing Trevor hunched over and heaving. But there was a twisted smile on his face.
“Fuck!” I bellowed. I dived down, shooting my arms out in front of me and pushing the water back, struggling through the icy sea as I fought and kicked.
Rika.
I darted my eyes everywhere, looking for her hands, her white T-shirt, her hair, but…
I swam down, down, down, as fast as I could, looking side to side and not wasting a second.
But as the moments passed, and I didn’t see her, fear thundered in my chest. I was going to lose my fucking mind.
Where the hell was she?
Pressure built in my lungs, and my eyes blurred. I heaved, needing air, and bellowing into the water, I shot back up for the surface and sucked in a hard breath as I came through.
“Rika!” I raged, spinning in a circle to see if she came up. “Rika!”
Nothing.
I shot my head up, seeing Kai hanging over the edge, breathing hard and looking exhausted.
“Kai, get in here!” I yelled. “I can’t find her!”
He looked up, narrowing his eyes in worry. I couldn’t see Damon or Trevor, but I didn’t fucking care anymore. Will was still tied up, and Rika was…
I dived back down, hearing the distant sound of Kai entering the water seconds later, and we descended, pushing through the water and into the black.
So far.
It was so far down.
She was down there already, getting farther and farther away from me, and I would never find her.
Ever.
Please, baby. Where are you?
And then my heart stopped, seeing a flash of white.
Rika was rising faster and faster, her arms pushing her up and her legs kicking, as she came into view, getting closer every second.
Kai and I grabbed hold of her arms and pulled her up. We broke through the surface of the water, and she coughed and gasped, trying to take breaths. I held her up, touching her face.
“Rika,” I breathed out, my heart aching like I had a knife lodged in it. “Are you okay? How did…?” I trailed off, feeling my stomach coil at how close I’d come to losing her.
She nodded and started to shake, her face cracking as he started to cry. “He hit me after you shot him,” she choked out. “It knocked me out long enough for him to tie me up. By the time I came to, he was forcing me over the edge.”
I pulled her along, swimming back to the yacht. We climbed up onto the deck, Kai holding her as I pulled her up.
“How did you get free?” I asked.
“The shard.” She opened her fist, shivering. “I took it after you tossed it on the bed.”
I pulled her into me, wrapping my arms around her and squeezed her so hard, my body shook.
“Where’s Damon?” I asked Kai, seeing him pull Will up and untie his hands.
But it was Will who answered. “He took off in Pithom’s speed boat while you guys were under.”
I just closed my eyes and squeezed Rika in my arms.
Kai and Will climbed the steps to the main level, and I pulled her along. She needed a hot shower, a warm bed, and me.
We walked across the deck, and I spotted Trevor laying at the edge of the pool, bleeding and struggling to get up.
He could barely lift his head.
I didn’t know how many shots he’d caught out of the three I’d fired, but the blood spilled over the deck and he was breathing heavily.
“Michael,” he said, sounding out of breath as he held his hand against the wound on his chest. “Take the boat into port. I’m bleeding.”
Kai and Will stood near, watching him, while I held Rika in my arms, anger and hatred boiling inside of me.
None of us made a move to help.
He’d nearly killed her. Tried to kill Will, Kai, and threatened to kill me.
“Michael,” he pleaded. “I’m your brother.”
I stood there, not seeing a brother. I saw blocks go over the edge. I saw Rika dumped like she was garbage and Will sent to the bottom like he was nothing.
I could’ve lost them. I could’ve lost her.
Forever.
Where was my brother then?
Something fell behind my eyes, and I didn’t blink. I may not have been able to choose between the lives of Rika and my friends, but I had no trouble choosing between them and my brother.
Raising my foot, I planted my shoe on his shoulder and shoved.
He grunted and grappled for my leg, fear rounding his eyes before he rolled and fell into the pool, his arms flailing as he sunk lower and lower. He tried to struggle. Tried to grab at the water like it was a wall he could climb.
But only his eyes broke the surface as he drifted to the bottom, peering up at us and seeing his hope only feet away, not coming for him.
“Michael.” Rika looked at me, breathing hard. “You…please. You’ll have to live with this forever.”
But I just turned my gaze back to Trevor, keeping my feet planted where they were.
I knew she didn’t want me to do it. I knew she worried I’d regret it, and I’d suffer consequences. I knew, no matter what, that Trevor was my brother, and he’d been a part of both of our lives.
I watched as he struggled and tried to take in breaths, his body too weak from the blood loss to save himself and swim back up.
And when he stopped moving, going still in the water, I closed my eyes and let my fists slowly uncurl.
“You would never have been safe,” I told her.
She buried her face in my chest, and I held her as her body shook with silent sobs.
I turned my eyes on Kai. “Get the boat into port, okay?”
He nodded, holding his side. “Just take care of her. We got this.”
I took Rika’s hand and pulled her through the salon and back down the passageway again, taking her into the cabin designated for me when I was on the yacht.
I ran my hand through my hair, slicking back the wet strands and feeling like my heart was about to jump out of my chest.
I almost lost her.
Squeezing her hand, I headed straight into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and started throwing open cabinets, not sure what I was looking for.
“Here.” I went to her, rubbing my hands up and down her arms. “You’re freezing. Get out of these clothes.” And then I turned around, checking the shower temperature. “I’ll run it hotter, okay?”
“Michael,” she said gently, trying to stop me.
But I pushed forward, feeling my stomach roll. “We’ve got towels here for when you get out.” I gestured to a cupboard. “Unless you want a bath instead. I can run one. Maybe soaking would be better.”
“Michael.”
“I just…” I rubbed a hand down my face, trying to find my words. “I’ll just try to find you some clothes. My mom probably has things here that you can wear, so—”
“Michael,” she said louder, reaching up to take my face in her hands.
But I tore myself away, leaning back on the sink and bowing my head, feeling pain everywhere.
Was this what she wanted? For me to be vulnerable and feel the fear I felt tonight?
Is this what she felt for me?
“I thought you were gone,” I said, barely audible. “The water was so black, and I couldn’t find you. I thought I’d never get to you.”
She came up to me, taking my face again.
And I looked up into her blue eyes, knowing that would always haunt me. What if she had never come back up? What would I have done?
I slid a hand around the back of her neck and wrapped my other arm around her waist, taking her lips in mine and kissing her so deep the heat of her mouth filled my entire body.
I could kiss her forever.
Touching my forehead to hers, I ran my thumb across her face, caressing it. “I love you, Rika.”
I’ve always loved you.
She broke out in a smile, tears streaming down her face as she circled her arms around my neck and pulled me in close. I squeezed her tight, burying my face in her hair, never wanting to let her go.
After all the years and all the times when I should’ve known, it took her nearly getting killed for me to realize what she meant to me. For me to realize how ingrained in every moment of my life she was and how she’d always been there, right in front of me.
Her, riding her bike around my driveway when she was five. Her, learning to swim in my pool. Her, running around and doing cart wheels in my backyard.
Her, biting her nails when I entered the room.
Her, sitting next to my mother at every basketball game in high school.
Her, refusing to even look in my direction when I hung out with a girl.
And me, barely able to hold back the smile at the little looks she stole and how nervous she was when I was close.
She was always there, and it was always us.
Trevor made me want to resent it, but it was seeing her with Kai last night that made me feel it. Nothing could shake us. She was mine, and I was hers, and it would never break.
I inhaled a deep breath, finally feeling my stomach unknot. “Did they hurt you in any other way?” I asked.
She pulled back, shaking her head. “No.”
“Damon’s still out there.”
“Damon’s gone,” she stated, so sure.
She took the hem of my wet shirt and pulled it up, over my head.
“How are we going to tell your parents about this?” she said, worry written all over her face. “About Trevor?”
“I’ll handle it,” I told her, pulling her shirt off as well. “I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
And I scooped her up, wrapping her legs around me and sitting on the sink edge, just holding her close.
She hovered her lips over mine, sinking her body into me like she was about to melt. “You really love me?”
I closed my eyes, breathing her in. “I love you so much,” I whispered, tightening my hold on her. “This is where I live.”
