Her husband was a total bastard.
Every feather had been picked from the floor by hand, collected in a bin to be repurposed. Claire’s morning spent on her hands and knees chasing fluff as it shifted around the room each time she moved.
At midday, Dr. Osin invaded—as the psychiatrist did any time Claire attempted to miss a session—and she found the Omega still plucking feathers, one at a time, from the carpet.
“You were to meet with me at two.” Ever the Alpha, the no-nonsense statement fell without sympathy for the mess.
Wiping her hair from her sweaty forehead, Claire sat back on her heels and let out a breath. Unsure if she was more annoyed by the task at hand or the interruption, she cut a glare over her shoulder. “Yeah, well, Shepherd decided to be Shepherd.”
Still standing on the threshold of the room, Dr. Osin sniffed the air. “It smells as if you recently mated.”
“He calls it making love.” Sarcasm thick, Claire reached for another feather. “Making love as he destroys my nests and disregards my feelings.”
“The only thing Shepherd regards is your feelings. Therefore, one might assume your assumption is incorrect.”
Tossing her hair and turning back to her work, Claire gave the Alpha her back. “I am not in the mood for your Shepherd ass-kissing propaganda today. Either help me clean up this mess or leave.”
“I have brought lunch. Your mess can wait until after you have eaten. Shepherd informed me that you had forgotten. He also informed me your breakfast was cut short.”
Of course he was checking in on her, the man couldn’t seem to go a day without stalking his wife in every possible way. “Cut short is one way to phrase it. Or one might say I made a reasonable request, was manhandled, tossed into my nest, and fucked so hard I’m sore. Then in a show of complete insanity, he tore my favorite pillow in half and scattered feathers that I now have the honor of cleaning up.”
Unmoved by the agitation of the Omega, Dr. Osin said, “We were discussing your eating habits. We’ll save your sex life for another session.”
Three more feathers gathered, Claire brushed off the old woman’s usual abruptness. “I didn’t forget lunch. I prefer not to eat when I’m anxious.”
As if anything Dr. Osin might offer could possibly tempt her, the Follower said, “I brought a popular local dish from the Dome’s best Omega restaurant.”
Picking another feather from the rug, Claire swiveled to her hip, staring down the intruder again as she spun the feather between her thumb and fingers. “Greth has Omega restaurants?”
Unabashedly observing the state of her charge, the old woman nodded. “Omegas are plentiful in this Dome and catered to. Spoiled. My mate would have swanned around and smirked at me quite a bit had he seen the life here. You’d know that if you ever went outside these grounds.”
The dig wasn’t missed, but it also wasn’t effective.
Even if she were willing to venture into the city, Claire would not step anywhere near a public Omega space. The very idea was ludicrous. Alphas would lurk. Omegas would be harassed, stalked home, cornered, taken. Heaven only knew how Shepherd would react if someone so much as whistled in her general direction.
Furthermore, there was a reason Omegas didn’t have public places. There was a reason that being Omega meant to either adapt to the Beta population or avoid Alphas unless one desired a pair-bond. Even mated Omegas kept their heads down if they were smart. They shopped for groceries in the daylight, most likely with a family escort. They didn’t tour the promenade alone or sip coffee in the breeze.
Not unless they lived as Claire had lived. Not unless no one knew they were Omega.
“What are you thinking, Claire?”
Pressing up from the ground, she brushed a few straggling feathers from her skirt. “I’m thinking it sounds too good to be true. Therefore, it’s a ploy. Wise Omegas only congregate in private, in secret. It’s sacred. I don’t believe there is such a thing as an Omega restaurant unless it’s managed by Alphas trying to lure in easy prey.”
“If you’d bothered to read the chapters I prepared for you on the local population, Mrs. O’Donnell, then you would know that there are more Omegas per capita than Alphas in Greth. They outnumber their matching dynamic. Competition for mates is fierce. Omegas walk freely, dress provocatively—”
“Enough.” Claire put up her hands to end the madness. “I don’t have any interest in discussing this topic. Grethentine Omegas can do what they want, but I am Thólosen, and we don’t speak about our dynamic with Alphas.”
Cocking her head, Dr. Osin said, “You not talking about Omegas is the reason they are all dead back in Thólos and not living a good life here.”
Her fingers curled into fists, Claire clenching her jaw so hard it ached. “Shepherd really did send you with the mission to piss me off today.”
Leaning against the door, Dr. Osin crossed her arms over her chest. “You think more clearly when you’re angry. No point in denying it.”
Snarling, Claire showed teeth. “Then I am clearly telling you to go fuck yourself. I don’t want your Omega fancy food. I’ll make my own fucking lunch when I fucking feel like it.”
“How long has it been since you’ve thought about the Omegas you saved back in Thólos? Nona, wasn’t that the name of the one you were close to? The murderess?”
Claire’s blood went ice-cold, her eyes narrowing. “I think you need to leave now.”
Instead, the doctor took another step inside Claire’s room. “Isn’t this where you try to explain? Don’t you want to tell me about the Omega sanctuary and how the survivors gathered up all the broken women? Didn’t they keep them like caged birds in a pretty building that won’t have power by the end of the year? Did they drug them like they drugged you? What happens when the rest of the survivors realize that all the pretty Omegas live in luxury while they all suffer in the Undercroft? Infected with Da’rin and eating mold. A gruesome end awaits those Omegas because of you.”
Stalking right up to the vicious Dr. Osin, Claire snarled, “I refuse to bear the blame for what Followers did to Thólos. I will NOT feel guilt for doing the right thing and keeping good women away from Shepherd’s men!” Red-faced, raging, she stuck a finger in the old woman’s face and screamed, “We chose what we wanted. We all did. Not one of us chose you!”
Batting away the finger Claire had put in her face, Dr. Osin shrugged. “And now all your friends are dead, stranded, mated, or missing. And you are so frightened of connecting with anyone that you are terrified to attend a social setting. What might you see when you get there? Who are you going to want to save with your misguided hero complex?”
She had gone past agitation, and known moments of rage, and now… now, Claire was still as a viper ready to strike. “You want me to say what we all already know. I am aware that to Shepherd, when it comes to his mate’s friends, a person has the same worth as the pillow he tore apart this morning. Nothing but a tool he could use to make a point or destroy at will. What point is there in having a friend that he will threaten and terrify? I will not allow him to use my affections to force me to do things against my judgment.”
“Your judgment is flawed.”
“And you are a sycophant drunk on the punch. Shepherd is not a God. I love him as a man, but I want nothing to do with his cult.”
“I am hearing a whole lot of excuses for ‘I’m scared to go outside because I am a fragile Omega who can’t handle her mate.’”
“Handle Shepherd?” Claire actually laughed. And then she laughed some more. “How many times has he threatened your life specifically in relation to me?”
Dr. Osin did not hesitate to answer. “Five.”
Which was both hilarious and completely insane! “And you say it as if it were normal.”
“It is normal. Shepherd is a king, responsible for the wellbeing of an entire Dome, caring for his recovering, difficult Omega, and beholden to his Followers—who put their lives and the lives of their families at risk so all of us might live free. Shepherd has the responsibility of the entire world upon his shoulders. And you—pretending there is no work to be done—you think a fancy nest will solve his problems? You add to his burden, Claire O’Donnell, by refusing to be the strong, worthy mate an Alpha of his stature needs at his side.”
Oh… Dr. Osin was going to get it.
“When I look at you, all prim and dressed in black, do you know what I see?” There was no backing down from such an insult, Claire moving closer so that unless Dr. Osin wanted to be brushed with the scent of furious Omega, the old woman had to step back. And then she had to step back again as Claire continued to sneer and pursue. “I see bodies hanging from trees. I smell corpses piled up on causeways. I hear children crying for their parents. I taste rot in my mouth. Go live free in Shepherd’s new world. I know my sins, and I will not repeat them. I will not inflict him on anyone else. I will stay here, and the Dome will be a safer place for everyone.”
Having backed the Alpha female to the door of her home, Claire snarled, “Now, get out!”
It was the first time Claire had seen an Alpha look even slightly intimidated by an Omega, and it felt good to cow the old bitch. It felt better to slam the door in her face.
When her COMscreen began to instantly ring, Claire lifted it up over her head and slammed it down on the floor, pleased at how broken bits of it scattered. Then she went back to her bedroom and continued cleaning up the feathers.
No new nest was prepared. Shepherd could sleep like a Beta for all she cared.
He arrived at dusk, just as he said he would. A new COMscreen in his hand for his mate. Claire was in her garden, sitting in the very nook where she had wanted to host a romantic moment for them. Still angry, watching the Alpha approach, hurt obvious in her tense body language and sullen stare.
Setting the COMscreen on the wrought iron table between them, he lowered his bulk into the adjoining chair. “You are right to believe that I would use any personal attachments you formed against your wishes, if I believed it was in your best interest. But consider, our situation in Thólos was dire. You consistently placed yourself in danger. You tried to kill yourself, little one.” Gravity weighed down his voice, it weighed down the man. “And you would have continued walking forward on that ice had I not held the safety of your friends over you.”
Claire couldn’t deny any of it. Couldn’t even summon an argument to counter.
Gray eyes held hers, as Shepherd softly added, “I kept my word, Claire.”
Wiping her cheek with the back of her hand, Claire said, “I know. Dr. Osin kindly reminded me that the Omegas trapped and dying in Thólos are thanks to my opposition to your regime.”
“That is not what I am referring to.” His fingers drummed the table, as if the Alpha debated reaching for her hand or giving Claire her space. “Maryanne is alive. She is in Greth. And she will remain alive, because that is what I promised you.”
Expression stunned, Claire stumbled over her words. “Why… wasn’t I—”
“You know why.” He did reach for her fingers then, gentle as he placed his hand atop hers. “The mere mention of Thólos in those first months sent you into a dangerous psychosis. You’ve come so far, little one. Your spark, I can see it inside you. The same fierce flame that walked into the dark Citadel to face down her tormentor.”
The nervous question came from an anxious woman. One who feared the worst. “How is she?”
“You would be surprised to see how well she’s doing. Structure and discipline have slowly turned a lackluster, selfish monster into—”
“—a Follower.” The word tasted like mud.
Shepherd blinked but didn’t respond.
The link felt so strained, so out of harmony, that Claire unconsciously pulled her hand from his and placed it where her sternum ached. “I want to see her.”
“Maryanne must serve five more years of her sentence. The time is well-spent and engaging. It employs her skillset while she monitors communication feeds and the people of this Dome. The lock on her door is simple, she could have escaped into the city at any time. Yet she has chosen to stay. Meanwhile, her work has kept many good people, including yourself, safe. It has kept Greth at peace during the transition of leadership.”
Rubbing her chest all the harder, Claire said with more force, “I want to see her.”
Turning his hand over and offering his palm, he motioned with a cock of his head for her to take it. Claire hesitated. She hesitated, looking down at his waiting hand, frowning. But she did tentatively reach forward and lay her fingers on his.
Only to hear him deny her.
“No.” Trapping her by his grip, Shepherd softly repeated the word. “No.”
Lip curled in disgust, the Omega grumbled, “You are going to force me to go see your film in exchange for Maryanne.”
“Little one, if she is ever going to reach her potential, Maryanne needs a structured life right now that doesn’t involve you. I give you my word we will revisit this when her sentence is served, but for now, you must leave her be. More importantly, she cannot be distracted from her current task, as it involves the safety of another person you care about.”
“You’re in danger?” Her hackles went up, Claire glancing around the courtyard as if some villain might rush forward and harm her mate.
“Jules was sent on a diplomatic mission to a Dome in Europe called Bernard. There has been an incident. Maryanne is working day and night to assure he survives it.”
The bottom dropped out from under her, Claire sucking in a breath as she realized just why the pair-bond hurt so much in that moment. Shepherd was… he was melancholy. Not that he would ever show it, but grief was all around him. And she had added to it that day.
Even if her reasons were sound, it was as Dr. Osin said. She was a burden on a man already weighed down with so much. So she placed her other hand atop where theirs were joined, and said, “Tell me what happened.”
He gave her fingers a squeeze, gray eyes tracking to where his Omega offered comfort despite her indignation. “There isn’t enough information yet to state a hypothesis as fact. But I will say, if my suspicion is correct, he will never return to Greth.”
What was a girl to say to a mass-murdering tyrant who lost what might be the closest he would ever have to a friend? “I am sorry, Shepherd.”
In a very human gesture, the man rubbed his face, closing his eyes as he drew in a deep breath. When he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, Claire grew unnerved.
Only once had she seen Shepherd emote on this level, the night he handed her to another Alpha so she might be transported safely away from him. The night he was going to give his life for her and their son.
“Shepherd, whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it.”
His lashes parted, gray eyes liquid—as if they stung. “I’m thinking that Collin would have celebrated his second birthday this month.”
A pained sound hitched in Claire’s throat, her heart splitting right down the middle.
But it was as if the Alpha didn’t see her grief at the mention of their dead son, he was too wrapped up in his own. “Every day, I watch Followers’ families thrive. I watch them play with their children. And I envy them. They live, and I cannot even entice my perfect Omega, my beautiful wife, to attend a film with me. I have never known normal, Claire O’Donnell. And I grasp that you will punish me for the rest of our lives for my sins. The irony is not lost.”
With that, he left her in the garden alone. Entering their home as if he desired to be alone.
