I waited downstairs for Stetson, pacing from one side of the living room to the other. Nerves spiked my blood with adrenaline. My ex might have been in the dark about his father’s activities, but that didn’t make our conversation any less intimidating. In fact, if Stetson had known, he might at least begin to understand my perspective. Instead, I would have to explain to the man I’d been dating for a year why I’d broken his heart for seemingly no reason at all.
At some point while wearing a path in the wood floors, I texted Keir to let him know what was happening. I wasn’t used to updating someone on my activities. Stetson and I had never had a relationship like that. But I knew Keir would want to know, and I enjoyed knowing it mattered to him. That I mattered.
I’m so happy for you, Ro. You deserve joy in your life.
Ivy’s presence was a soothing balm to my nerves.
I stepped over to a mirror near the entry that I usually avoided and smiled softly at my reflection. Ivy was here with me. I’d always felt like my face reminded me of what I’d lost, but suddenly, I realized it was also a rare gift. My very DNA enabled me to keep her with me always.
I tilted my head down and studied the blond roots starting to show at my part. How would it feel to let it grow out? To let all the hurt and guilt and blame grow out until it no longer suited me, and I could start fresh with a new style. A new me.
That sounds awfully drawn out. Two-tone is so yesterday. How about we go to a hairdresser and just bleach it back to blond?
I snorted with a laugh. I’ll consider it.
The doorbell chime wrenched me out of my lighthearted thoughts, dunking me back in a vat of oily dread.
I expected the security guard out front to let Stetson inside. When that didn’t happen, I hurried to the door and opened it. Stetson stood on the other side, his face unusually solemn.
“Hey, come on in.” I stepped back to allow him room, then peered around the landing, surprised to find the security guard unexpectedly absent. Had he run an errand or been called away? I would have asked Mom, but she was on the third floor in the library doing whatever Mom did to keep busy.
I closed the door and led us into the living room. “Stetson, I’m so, so sorry about everything. I never wanted to hurt you.” I perched on the edge of a club chair, my hands clasped tightly together—partly out of worry and partly to keep my tattoo out of sight.
Stetson didn’t sit. He stood several feet away, his arms crossed with one hand rubbing his jaw. “You know, Rowan, that’s the thing. Your actions didn’t just hurt me. You made me look fucking pathetic in front of the whole damn city.” The malicious glint in his eyes shocked me.
I shot to my feet. “If you’ll let me explain—” I had no idea how exactly I’d explain anything, but I never got the chance.
“Sit. Down.” His words were blades taking me out at the knees.
Something wasn’t right. I felt like a stranger stood in my living room. Weeks earlier, when I’d found Keir in the house, I hadn’t felt a lick of fear. I wasn’t sure if I’d changed that drastically since then or if an innate sense of intuition had kept the emotion at bay, but either way, this was different.
Fear licked up my spine and sent waves of unease tingling down to my fingertips.
“You would have made a perfect wife,” Stetson mused. “No questions. No opinions. Pretty enough and intelligent but undemanding. And the best part? You were utterly devoid of emotion. I didn’t have to deal with you getting your feelings hurt over the slightest fucking thing like so many women do.” He smirked and chuckled to himself. “It was a shame things didn’t work, but I could have found someone else. There’s always someone willing to play the desired role when enough money is on the line.”
I kept my lips firmly sealed, afraid to say a word. This was insanity. I’d been locking away my emotions to protect myself, but Stetson’s cool demeanor was sheer depravity. An inability to understand emotion at all. That sort of disconnect was unpredictable. Terrifying.
He tsked, continuing with his monologue. “But then, you had to grow a fucking conscience,” he said slowly, prowling closer. “I hear someone crying, Stetson,” he mimicked my statement weeks earlier, mocking me in a whiny, hapless voice.
Shock tore through me.
He knew that I’d found her, which meant … he knew about the girl. He’d known all along.
Sticky nausea curdled in my belly, clotting into a heavy mass as true fear set in. I had mistaken a frozen pond for an open field, and now I was stranded out on thin ice, the air filled with the creaking sound of my impending death.
“How could you?” It was all I could say, and in a whisper at that. Horror had scrambled my thoughts.
“You should have let it go, Rowan.” The words were soft with a touch of remorse, not preparing me for his sudden attack. His hand whipped out and clamped around my throat, yanking me to my feet. “You should have let it go!” he screamed in my face, his features contorted in rage.
He was a psychopath. He knew about the girl, and he didn’t care. How could I have been so blind?
You weren’t in the right headspace, Ro. Don’t blame yourself. Not again.
Ivy’s words together with the stinging in my lungs brought tears to my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I rasped, clutching his hand at my throat, my stubby nails scraping for purchase. I wasn’t even sure what I was sorry for, but I had to try to calm him.
“Sorry changes nothing, Rowan. When Dad told me you’d uncovered my little secret, I swore you wouldn’t be stupid enough to make a fuss. Not my Rowan. She knows how to stay in her lane. Then you started to pull away. Not ideal, but whatever. I could have dealt with that. But no, you had to go and do something monumentally stupid. Everyone in the goddamn city saw the photos of you whoring it up with that thug. How do you think that made me look?”
I tried to shake my head. “Not you, me.” I wanted to tell him they’d only think I’d gone crazy, not him, but I didn’t have the air. Black dots danced in my peripheral vision. Dizziness clouded my thoughts.
I was about to pass out, but when I heard my mother’s steps approaching, a renewed surge of adrenaline gave me the boost I needed to stay alert.
“Stetson! What’s going on! Let go of her,” she cried from across the room.
I used the distraction to plunge my knee up into his groin, then shove him away. I coughed in a lungful of air and stumbled to the other side of the coffee table, but before I could make it to my mother, I heard the terrifying click of a gun cocking.
“Take another step,” he rasped, still hunched with an arm hugging his middle. “I dare you.”
I’d never heard more chilling words spoken. He meant it. He’d kill me where I stood.
I didn’t want to die. Keir had helped me with that realization, and now, I felt the truth down to my bones. In the past, dying meant being with my sister again. Reunited and whole. How could I have feared that? But now … I wasn’t ready to go down that road yet.
Ever since meeting Keir, my world had changed, and for once, I’d started to feel true happiness again. I didn’t want to lose it. I didn’t want to lose Keir.
A month ago, I might have challenged him. Walked right up to the gun and dared him to do his worst. Now that things were different, I kept every muscle perfectly still.
“What’s happened?” Mom asked in a thin, terrified voice. “Why are you doing this, Stetson?” She didn’t know about his family’s proclivities. I wasn’t surprised. Dad would have wanted to protect her from worrying.
“It’s okay, Mom,” I assured her. “Just stay there. We’ll work this out.”
Stetson grimaced. “I’m afraid there’s nothing to work out, Rowan. What’s done is done. All that’s left is punishment. You can’t be allowed to walk away without any repercussions for your actions. Not when you’re so damn unpredictable at this point.” He lifted the gun, then swiveled his aim to my mother. The gunshot exploded in my ears the second the barrel pointed her direction.
I screamed, surging toward her as if I could somehow beat the bullet.
Mom’s body jolted, sending her stumbling to the ground. He’d shot her in the side. Crimson blossomed across her blouse, her face scrunched in pain.
I dropped down to my knees beside her and pressed my hand to the wound. “Stay still, Mama. Don’t move. I’ll get you help.” My heart practically vibrated in my chest it beat so frantically.
This can’t be happening. Not again. I can’t lose Mom, too.
Panic and desperation ignited like kerosene, my fury setting them ablaze. But before I could react to the emotions, a hand fisted in my hair, yanking me back to my feet.
“You’re not doing anything except learning your place,” Stetson spat in my face. “I hear American pussy goes for a premium in some countries, and I just happen to know someone in the business. It’s time to make a deal.” A malignant grin darkened his face before he tugged me toward the entry.
My eyes strained to keep sight of where my mother lay on the ground. She’d bleed out alone, just like Ivy, all because of me.
Something in my mind snapped. Civility. Humanity.
Everything that made me me faded away until I was nothing but primal rage.
A cry tore from my throat, so feral and unhinged that I didn’t even recognize my own voice. I swung my body around and slammed both hands into his forearm, knocking the gun to the ground. It slid several feet away, but I hardly paid it any mind. All my focus was trained on Stetson.
He yanked on my hair to no avail. In my animalistic state, I felt no pain.
Baring my teeth, I turned and kicked him in the side with all my strength, then reached for a nearby ceramic candlestick thick as my fist and swung back around for his head.
Finally, he was forced to release me in an effort to protect himself. “What the fuck?” Stetson growled through gritted teeth.
I never paused, grabbing a table lamp next and launching it at him to give myself enough time to dive for the gun.
It wasn’t enough.
He dodged the lamp while also surging toward the discarded weapon. I reached it first, but he was right behind me. My hands gripped the cold metal, his hands wrapped around mine.
“It’s fucking cocked, Rowan. You’re gonna shoot us both.”
“Good,” I growled. “So long as you fucking die, I don’t care what happens to me.”
We strained through grunts and labored breaths, fighting for control of the gun. Despite the extra strength my rage afforded me, I would be no match for his size the longer our struggle continued. I had to find a way to stop him.
Come on, Ro! Ivy urged me on. You gotta fight dirty, or this asshole’s gonna win.
No. Fucking. Way.
My head dove forward until my teeth clamped down on his forearm. Stetson screamed as I gnawed through skin and flesh, a metallic tang flooding my tongue. The second his concentration wavered, I twisted us around, praying it was enough, and pulled the trigger.
