After a shower and food, which Keir insisted I eat, I was overcome with exhaustion unlike any I’d ever felt. I lay down to rest my eyes for a few minutes, only to wake the following morning in a panic.
“I can’t believe I slept so long,” I berated myself, hopping on one leg while trying to slip on a pair of jeans. I’d jumped out of bed the second I realized what had happened and ran straight to the closet. “I have to get to the hospital and check on my mom. How could I have left them there alone?”
Two large hands gently clasped either side of my face, forcing me to still.
“Your mother is fine. She made it through surgery and is resting. I would have woken you if you needed to be there.” He spoke in that preternatural calm he was so good at, almost hypnotizing me with the sound of his voice.
I nodded dazedly. “I need to see her, though.”
“And we will. Let’s get you some food, and we’ll go.”
I nodded again, but he didn’t release me. His gaze did a lazy sweep of my face that felt as real as any physical touch.
“You were so fucking brave yesterday.” His words were a warm blanket around my heart the same way his kiss heated my skin.
“I was terrified,” I whispered, recalling the deranged glint in Stetson’s eyes. “He wasn’t at all who I thought he was.”
“He’s gone now, so you don’t ever have to worry about him again.”
“Gone?” I stiffened. “Did I kill him?” I’d been so worried about Mom that I hadn’t even thought about what happened to Stetson. What would happen if I killed him? Would I be prosecuted? It was self-defense, but they might still charge me. And how would I feel knowing I’d ended his life?
A blur of emotions thickened in my chest until Keir shook his head.
“Stop, Rowan. You didn’t kill him. I promise.” He tried to lead me out of the closet. “Let’s get you some food so you can see your mom.”
I held my ground. “But he’s gone?” What did that even mean?
When Keir’s stare returned to mine, he allowed me to see beyond his mask to the merciless vengeance beneath—a blond-haired, blue-eyed archangel prepared to inflict God’s wrath.
I shivered from head to toe.
I did a quick evaluation before speaking to determine how I felt about what Keir had just implied and discovered that I was glad he would handle the matter. Stetson and his father would have manipulated the justice system every way possible. I would have spent years looking over my shoulder. And after seeing how warped his mind had become, I was confident no amount of therapy or punishment would fix him. Better to end his worthless existence before he hurt anyone else.
“Breakfast sounds good.”
A smirk teased at the corner of Keir’s lips.
Over the next half an hour, I learned about the insanity Keir had faced the day before—about how his cousin’s wife had betrayed them and the unexpected murder of her brother by the mysterious Russian. I felt like I was listening to a movie synopsis rather than a retelling of his day.
“That’s so wild. And I feel so bad for Oran. What’s going to happen to Caitlin?”
“As far as I know, that hasn’t been decided yet.”
“And what about the girl in the attic? Do we know if the police got her out of there?” I mentally cringed, afraid of his answer. It had been days since I’d last seen her, and if the Wellingtons knew I’d been up there, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they moved her.
“They got her out last night, taking Lawrence into custody at the same time.”
The mountain of worry I’d been carrying on my shoulders crumbled into dust. “Oh, thank God.”
“She confirmed that she was brought over in a container on a ship, but there’s no way to prove it was Wellington’s ship or that he was involved in any way. For now, it looks like he’ll be charged as an accessory to Stetson’s crimes but nothing major since he wasn’t the primary perpetrator. It’s not ideal, but at least it’s something.”
Yeah, it’s definitely a good thing Keir took care of Stetson because that’s some bullshit. Maybe he should take care of Lawrence, too.
“Ivy!” I blurted, then looked wide-eyed at Keir. “She hates to think of Mr. Wellington getting away.”
He took a sip of coffee and peered at me over the rim of his cup. “I’m not sure if these little conversations you two have are endearing or disconcerting.”
I would have been insulted if his eyes weren’t brimming with amusement. “I suppose it’s irrelevant. You married me, and now you’re stuck with me.” I infused extra snark in my tone.
Keir took my coffee from my hand and placed it on the table, then tugged me onto his lap. Oxygen fled from my lungs in a whoosh, first from the sudden movement, then from the blistering hunger in Keir’s eyes. Our faces were inches apart, his large body enveloping me in warmth both inside and out.
“I knew exactly what I was getting into from our very first conversation. Maybe not the specifics, but I knew nothing with you would be dull or ordinary. I chose that—I chose you—and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
I couldn’t breathe. Every warm, gooey emotion I was capable of filled my chest so completely, there was no room for air.
If you don’t kiss that man right this second, I will.
She didn’t have to tell me twice. I slammed my lips on his. A part of me felt it was wrong to feel so much peace and happiness in the wake of such tragedy, but I couldn’t help it. Being with Keir was an injection of liquid elation right to the heart, and I was quickly becoming a junkie.
“If you want to see your mom, you need to stop, or I’ll have you naked in my bed instead.” His strong hands kneaded my ass, his words coming out as thick and heavy as the cock pressing into my thigh.
I grinned and rested my forehead against his. “Thank you, Keir,” I said softly.
“For wanting to fuck you?”
“No.” I laughed, then sobered. “For helping me when I needed it. For not giving up on me and for accepting me the way I am. Maybe that most of all because I was too scared to do it myself.”
We sat motionless for a pregnant moment. I was about to pull back to see what he was thinking when he launched to his feet, keeping me tight in his arms.
“That’s it. You’re getting fucked.”
I threw my head back and laughed as he marched toward the bedroom. “But what about my mom?”
“She can wait. I only need five minutes.” He tossed me on the bed, his molten stare devouring me. “Maybe ten.”
He took thirty. I didn’t complain.
I hated hospitals. I was in a hospital when Dad first told me Ivy was gone. Just walking through those sliding glass doors dropped a cinder block on my chest. I had to take slow, shallow breaths to keep from hyperventilating.
Having Keir at my side helped in more ways than one. Aside from the death grip I kept on his hand, he did all the talking to help us locate Mom in the intensive care unit. She was stable, but they didn’t want to transfer her to recover yet.
Dad was with her when we finally found her room. I was relieved he didn’t look as bad as I’d expected. He was tired, and Mom was pale, but otherwise, the two were in decent shape.
“Hey, Ro! I’m so glad you’re okay.” Daddy pulled me against his chest, hugging me close to the point of suffocation.
My grin nearly split my face in two. “I’m more than okay. I hope your night wasn’t too terrible.” I pulled back to meet his eyes again before giving my mom a gentle hug.
“Sleep is hard to come by around here, but that didn’t bother me so long as your mom was stable.”
Mom gave me a groggy wink. “He’s been hovering over my bed since they woke me up.” Her gaze drifted over my face as though searing it into her memory, then she looked passed me to Keir in the back of the room. “Thank you, Keir. Thank you so much.”
“It was all Rowan. I was just the cavalry showing up after the fact,” he said quietly.
Dad extended a hand, and the two shook. “You did a hell of a lot more for us than that, and you know it.”
Keir’s eyes drifted to mine. “Can’t say it wasn’t worth it.”
Something inscrutable yet profound passed behind my father’s eyes. “Well, now that you two are here, I can make a quick run to the cafeteria. Keir, you willing to walk with me?”
“Happy to.”
I watched them walk away, praying they were all right alone together, then sat on the edge of Mom’s bed. “Are you in much pain?”
“Not at all, though I’m sure that will change once my meds wear off.” Her speech was lazy, but she was present enough to talk, and I needed to get some things off my chest. So much time had already passed with a chasm between us that I hated letting even one more day go by without trying to fix it.
“I was so scared I would lose you.” My words grew thin, sticking in my throat on their way out. “I love you so much, and I don’t tell you that nearly enough. I’m so sorry.”
She rolled her head from side to side. “When I saw Stetson pointing that gun at you, I realized how stupid I’ve been.”
“Not stupid, Mom—”
She raised a hand. “I couldn’t change anything about Ivy being gone, but losing you to my grief was my own fault. I didn’t see it until that moment. I could have lost you before I ever truly got to know the woman you’ve become.” Tears trickled down her cheeks, but she smiled, and for once, it glowed all the way to her gray-green eyes. Eyes that Ivy and I had both inherited. “I love you so much, baby girl.”
This time, I leaned in and hugged her with more force than before. I couldn’t help myself because what I was about to say might have made her look at me differently, and I hated for that to happen when we’d only just found one another.
“Mama? I have to tell you something,” I said into her hair, not able to look her in the eye. “It’s eaten at me all these years, and before we can move forward, I think you need to know what happened that day. The day Ivy died.” I pulled back, my gaze dropping to my fingers as they worried at my sleeve. “It was my fault.” The words were nothing but breath and guilt, yet they cleaved me in two.
“What?”
“I dared Ivy to jump the curb that day. I knew it was dangerous and did it anyway. I know I was only a kid, but she’d still be here if I hadn’t done it. It was all my fault.” Finally. I’d finally spoken the truth. And in a way, it was a relief.
Cleansing tears streamed down my cheeks, and my chin quivered, my body overcome with emotion.
Mom’s brows knotted together. “Baby girl, nothing was your fault.”
“I knew you’d say that because—”
“No.” She cut me off. “I don’t think you do know. Sweetie, your sister had an aneurysm. That’s why she fell off the bike. She passed before she’d even hit the ground.”
My ears began to ring as my brain attempted to process what she was saying.
“Don’t you remember doing a brain scan not long after she died? With you two being identical, we had to have you checked, but they didn’t find anything. All the doctors could say was that it was a fluke. One of those mysteries of nature.”
My lips opened and shut like a fish stranded on shore. “I … an aneurysm? I remember … a loud machine.”
“That’s the one.”
“But I didn’t know what it was for.”
Sorrow lined her already pale features. “I’m so sorry, Rowan. You were young, and we tried to explain, but communication was difficult between your age and our grief. As the years went by, it never occurred to us that you might have blamed yourself. I’m so incredibly sorry.” She gripped my hand with all her limited strength.
“I—” A sob choked back my words. “I didn’t … It wasn’t me…”
“No, baby. Not your fault at all.”
I lost it. Every emotion I’d ever felt about Ivy’s death poured out of me in a sobbing, heaving mess of tears and snot. My head bowed into the edge of Mom’s mattress as I gave myself over to the cathartic release.
“That’s why I wanted to be so perfect for you guys.” I hiccupped once the worst of the sobs subsided. “If I’d taken Ivy, I felt like I owed it to you to be the perfect daughter.”
“Rowan, you are and always will be perfect, just the way you are.”
