KONNOR IS A BUTCHER BOY.
I cover my mouth with my palms, smothering the gasp that tries to escape. Oh my God. I think everyone in the room just stopped breathing. Max’s arms tighten around me, enveloping me, grounding me.
Konnor immediately turns ashen, appearing to be flooded by nausea. ‘Fuck.‘
Moving over to his spot on the lounge, Butch sits down slowly and leans forward, his arms resting on his knees. ‘Dustin must never find out. He’ll want revenge and he’ll come for my family. Made-men don’t lie to made-men. It is a law. He’ll come for Cassidy. He’ll come for your brothers.’
‘My brothers. . .’ Konnor grips his forehead, and when his knees buckle, he slides down to the floor. Leaning against the leg of the table, he stares straight ahead. ‘Brothers.’
‘Fuck,’ Max says louder this time.
Oh my God. I feel dizzy.
‘There will be casualties on both sides if this gets back to him,’ Butch states empathically. ‘That is what we have been trying to avoid for over a decade.’
‘At my expense,’ Konnor mutters, outwardly trying to comprehend all this information.
‘No.’ Butch stands and walks over to him, squatting down at his side. ‘At mine.’
Fingers peel my hand away from my mouth, allowing sweet air to rush into my lungs. I didn’t even realise that I was holding my breath. I can’t see Max’s face, but I can feel his heart’s hammering rhythm against my back.
Konnor is his brother.
Butch fixes Konnor with his serious stern blue eyes. ‘Konnor, Ben gave you a far more peaceful life than I ever could. And that is what Madeline wanted. She begged me not to drag you into this world. I gave her my word that I would stay away. For her, I did. . . I’m actually surprised you stopped looking for me.’
Konnor glares at him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘A few months back,’ Butch says with a raise of his salt and pepper brows, ‘you were asking questions. I thought you’d find out. I’d even hoped you wou-‘
‘You told him!’ Konnor barks at our dad. ‘You just ran right over here and-‘
‘I did no such thing, Konnor,’ Dad states defensively.
‘You’ve got a temper on you.’ Butch chuckles easily. ‘You get that from your grandfather.’
Konnor looks queasy again, his head doing a slight roll against the table leg. ‘How did you know that I was looking for answers?’
‘One of my men told me,’ Butch states simply.
Anger flares in Konnor’s eyes. ‘You have people watching me!’
‘I have people watching over you,’ Butch corrects. ‘I have people watching over all my boys.’
‘Who?’ Konnor demands. ‘Is it someone I know? A spy?’
Butch nods. ‘Your doorman – Adolf.’
Konnor blinks over and over again. ‘What?’
‘He was Madeline’s captain of security.’ Butch straightens and takes a step backwards. ‘He was very fond of you as a boy. He is now too.’
‘This is too much.’ Konnor stares straight ahead at the wall, seemingly wanting to disappear into it. ‘I moved on. I gave up caring about you. You, you fucking didn’t give a shit about-‘
‘Rispettu! Respect, son!’ Butch barks, and I flinch. ‘In this household we respect the head. I did give a shit! I wanted you and her more than anything. When I found out she was pregnant, I wanted to take my boys and her and leave the fucking country.’
‘What stopped you then?’ Konnor sneers, locking eyes with him.
‘Your goddamn life! Your safety. We’d always be looking over our shoulders.’
Konnor scoffs. ‘But I wasn’t safe.’
‘We didn’t know what would happen,’ Butch says through a tight jaw. ‘Madeline thought Dustin would be a good father to you if he thought you were his. I gave him my son with that hope too.’
‘He found out I wasn’t his,’ Konnor murmurs, his voice fracturing.
‘Rumours in the District; it is like a plague. . . I should have never left her with him. He was blindly infatuated with her; he’d rather see her dead than in another man’s arms. He said as much on several occasions. If I didn’t have my own boys to protect. . . choosing one over the other all this time has not been done without considerable pain. And if Dustin believed the rumours, then what happened to you could have been his doing.’
But there is no proof. ‘But there is no proof,’ I find myself saying out loud. ‘That’s the issue, right? That’s why we can’t touch him. He does all these terrible things, but no one can be sure it was him.’ My lower lip shakes uncontrollably.
‘I want you to go outside,’ Max orders quietly.
‘No,’ I breathe. ‘I want to be here.’
‘Do you want me to drag you out?’ he threatens.
I squeeze his bicep. ‘Please, Max. Just keep hold of me.’
His arms tense up, but luckily, he doesn’t fight me on this. Yeah, luckily, because I wouldn’t have retaliated if he had scooped me up and carried me to our room. I’m done pretending for the day, ignoring the lies in every smile. The pity in every congratulations.
I just want to be with my husband. Want to cry in his arms. For Konnor. For Butch. And for everyone who has been living with these secrets weighing them down like stones shackled to their ankles.
But I need to know the truth. So I’ll stay.
‘That’s right, Cassidy. We don’t know anything for sure,’ Butch confirms as he rises and holds his hand out for Konnor to take. ‘And that is why we are telling you this now.’
Konnor stares at Butch’s hand as if its existence is a complete mystery to him. After several seconds, he swallows hard and accepts it, letting Butch pull him to his feet.
‘Why?’ Konnor shakes his head. ‘Why now?’
‘Because Ben and I have a favour to ask.’ Butch exhales, seemingly regretful. When he turns to face us, my eyes widen. ‘Of Max.’ Feeling the earth tilt again, I lean further into my husband for support. Please don’t say the P word. Please don’t remind me again that I’m losing him. That soon he will be gone. That I’m losing half of myself. The reality of our situation has been locked away in a dark pit inside of me, and no matter how many times it tugs at my nerve endings, sending shocks of sorrow through my entire being, I force the truth back down.
I fight it.
I fight it so that it doesn’t creep into my chest, leaving nothing in its wake but a gaping hole where my heart used to pump.
Max’s biceps contract around me, but he’s warm and sturdy in every other way. Butch continues and his pained eyes physically hurt something raw and maternal within me. ‘It is something I shouldn’t ask of my son. Not now. Not when he should serve his time and think of no one but himself while he is in there. But it might be our only chance and I know he’ll do it.’ He spares a glance at Konnor. ‘He’ll do it because you’re his brother and nothing matters more to my boys than their blood.’
‘What is it?’ Max asks tightly.
Butch sighs slowly. ‘There is a man in the maximum-security prison you will be sent to,’ he states, looking at Max firmly. ‘Donavon Knight. He is responsible for kidnapping Konnor. Holding him in a basement. He is a lying sack of shit, and the cops couldn’t get a straight answer from him. He pleaded guilty all those years ago with no trial. He was more afraid to snitch than he was to do hard time. Max, I want you to find out why he took your brother.’ Butch grins ominously. ‘And who he’s so fucking afraid of.’
