My alarm sounds from the side of my bed and I groan, rolling over as I slam my hand down on the stupid device. Today is my first day of classes and I’m not exactly thrilled about it. I’ve only been living here for a week and have yet to make any friends that don’t play on the ice hockey team. But then again, it’s really not much different from the rest of my life.
I want it to be different here, though. I don’t want to just be an extension of August—like a fifth limb. I want to be my own person, with my own life and my own friends. It might sound selfish, but I sacrificed a lot in my life because of everything my parents were doing for August and for the sake of him doing something with his natural ability on the ice.
There was never really much focus on the things I was interested in or wanted to do. I missed a lot of birthday parties and sleepovers at other friends’ houses because we had to travel a lot on the weekends. Since our dad used to play professionally, he was very devoted to making the same dream happen for August.
My parents attempted to get me on the ice when I was little. I knew how to skate—because what sibling of a hockey star doesn’t—but it wasn’t something I was passionate about. It never stuck and wasn’t something I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing. My mom tried to encourage me to try different sports to see if there was something I was interested in, but there was literally nothing.
I was just the quiet kid who liked to read and sketch. I was mediocre, at best, so art was never something I attempted to pursue as more than just a hobby. Now that I’m in college and have the opportunity to explore things by myself, I plan on revisiting that.
Which is why my first class today is a clay and sculpture class. It’s something I never really tried, and even though it doesn’t pertain to my major in teaching, I don’t even care. It’s something I want to do for me—something that doesn’t involve August—and I’m at the point in my life where I’m ready to be selfish.
As I slip into the hallway, the rest of the apartment is quiet and the bathroom door is open. I quickly shuffle down the hall and head into the room, shutting the door behind me. I don’t bother attempting to lock it, because that was one thing Logan failed to mention, but it didn’t take long for me to figure it out. They didn’t lock the door in here because it was broken.
And them being them—neither made an attempt to get it fixed. They both just rolled with it and went along with life like it didn’t matter. Me, on the other hand? It feels a little uncomfortable knowing someone could walk in here at any given moment. But at the same time, it’s just my brother and his best friend. The one guy who I knew like the back of my hand.
I strip out of my clothes and jump into the shower, cranking the water up until it feels like it’s scalding my skin. Closing my eyes, I step back, letting the hot water run over my long hair. Beads of water trickle down my face as I grab my shampoo and work a lather into my hair. August and Logan shouldn’t be up for a few hours, so I take my time washing my hair and my body.
The warmth of the water wraps its arms around me like a comforting blanket. Growing up in the mountains in Vermont, our summers never felt like they were long enough. You grow accustomed to the cold over time, especially when you’re born in the snow, but sometimes, there’s nothing quite as comforting as the heat.
My parents always found a reason to take us on a summer vacation, somewhere away from the cold, and it was the one thing I was very fond of. I looked forward to it every year, especially after constantly feeling like a walking ice cube. We always went somewhere south—far enough away that you couldn’t detect the frigid temperatures we lived in.
I should have picked a college in a warmer state. I don’t know why I decided to come to Wyncote University. Maybe it had to do with the fact that my brother came here and I couldn’t seem to stop following around in his shadow. Or maybe, subconsciously, it was because of Logan. I would never admit it aloud, but I would follow him anywhere that he asked me.
The door to the bathroom suddenly opens and I freeze in the hot water. I throw my arms over my chest, feeling completely exposed behind the glass door as I turn my back on the intruder. “Get out!”
I hear the sound of his chuckle and I glance over my shoulder, noticing his dark hair through the foggy glass. Fucking Logan. Of course, it’s him. I’m embarrassed as hell and in a position that I don’t want him to see me in.
“I just gotta take a piss and I’ll leave, okay?”
“Logan,” I grit his name through clenched teeth, attempting to shield my body with my hands, even though he probably can’t see anything but the tone of my skin because of the condensation on the glass shower walls. “If you can’t tell, I’m freaking naked right now. So, please, just go pee outside or something.”
He glances over his shoulder at me and I can’t make out his expression, but I hate being under his gaze right now. It sends a warmth straight to the pit of my stomach and I clench my thighs together, fighting against the shiver that runs down my spine.
“I know that you’re naked in there…” His voice is hoarse and strained as if the thought alone pains him. He clears his throat and flushes the toilet before moving over to the sink. “How are you getting to class this morning?”
His question catches me off guard. “August said I could take his car,” I tell him, shifting under the water as it grows colder.
“Let me drive you,” he says quietly as he leaves the sink running and dries his hands before brushing his teeth. He turns around, leaning against the counter as he faces the shower.
“You don’t have to do that.”
I can still feel his eyes on me as I shift and turn off the water in an attempt to get him to leave the bathroom since I finished showering minutes ago. If I don’t get out of here soon, I’m going to be late to my first class. The chill from the cold air runs over my body, sending a shiver through my flesh as goosebumps erupt over my skin.
Covering my naked breasts with my arms, I turn to face him, staring at him through the condensation on the shower door. Logan pushes off the counter and grabs my towel from the hook on the wall before tossing it over the top of the door. Keeping one arm over my chest, I catch it with my other hand before it hits the wet floor beneath my feet.
In haste, I wrap it around my body, ignoring my soaking wet hair that hangs down my back. Logan moves out of the way as I push open the door and step out into the coldness of the room. I don’t have time to worry about the way he’s looking at me and be embarrassed by him walking in on me in the shower.
Ignoring him, I step to the counter, pulling my long hair over my shoulder as I stare into the mirror. Logan steps behind me, his eyes finding mine through the glass. “I know I don’t have to drive you, but I want to.” His voice is soft, his ocean blue eyes tormented as they search mine. He lingers for a moment, before turning away with a sigh of defeat. “I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to go.”
I watch through the mirror as he disappears from the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind him to give me some privacy. I’m left alone with my conflicting thoughts and I’m not sure how to decipher the interaction that just happened between us.
I can’t let him mess with my heart and my head again… not this time.
