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Cytonic: Part 4 – Chapter 36


A short time later, Shiver, Dllllizzzz, and I flew in low toward the Superiority base—escorting Peg, her sons, and Lorn. The rest of the unfrozen pirate vessels formed an ominous presence higher in the sky.

Surehold turned out to be bigger than I’d expected. The campus sprawled across an unusually large and thick fragment marked by hills and rocky crags. I counted four separate acclivity stone quarries, each attended by a variety of modern machines. The central section of the base comprised about a dozen buildings, and while it wasn’t large in comparison to the crowded Starsight, it was almost as big as the entire DDF headquarters.

After making certain their large antiaircraft guns were offline—control transferred to Peg—we landed and let her and Lorn disembark. Curious workers stopped on the flight deck to watch, though Lorn—the base commander—waved a winged arm to calm them. Together Lorn, Peg, and her two sons entered a nearby building, the base security structure. Inside she could be given full and permanent control over the base, with her own overrides and passwords.

After a tense few minutes—during which I stood ready to blast open the wall and try to grab Peg if something went wrong—a call to quarters went out on the Superiority channel. Martial law was declared. Peg’s sons prowled out of the building a moment later, armed and armored, with Lorn guiding them. They’d secure the few people on base he thought would be trouble.

Quick as that, it was done. I hadn’t expected there to be trouble—the real fight had been the one with starfighters. We’d left most of the Superiority pilots in their ships, which were locked up without friendly tugs to unfreeze them, guarded by trustworthy pirate flights.

Still, I remained on watch—hovering—for another half hour as Peg and her sons took full command of the base. Finally, as the word came that all was clear, some of the pirates began to land on the flight pad. Hesho settled down beside us in his own ship, but didn’t move to leave it.

I glanced back at Chet. “What do you think?” I asked.

“It’s looking good,” he said. “But if anything were to go wrong, this would be the time—when we’re flat-footed and assume we’ve won.”

“Agreed.”

So the two of us, paranoid as we were, waited another good half hour. But it seemed that the final stage of Peg’s plan had indeed gone off without a hitch. As the pirates unloaded from their ships, Peg’s voice came over our comms and the flight deck loudspeakers.

“No looting,” she ordered. “This is our home now. Regular base personnel have been confined to quarters; if you encounter a locked room, leave it alone. But you’re free to investigate the place, pick an empty room in the barracks to claim as your own, all that fun stuff. Just be warned. I get word of you harming base personnel or breaking stuff, and I’ll be…upset.”

Most of the pirates made for the barrack building. I asked Hesho to stay put and keep watch while Chet and I climbed free, then Chet pointed toward a large set of doors ahead of us. The shipping warehouse, where the portal would be.

You still here? I sent to my pin. I’d confirmed, upon coming close, that it was here.

I got back a contented, quiet impression. Hiding now. Seek me later.

Okay… Well, I had a job to do at the moment anyway. Chet used some controls to open the large bay doors of the warehouse, revealing a vast room with a tall ceiling. It felt vacuous despite the other end being piled high with raw acclivity stone waiting to be shipped to the Superiority.

On the wall closest to us was the portal. It was much larger than the others I’d seen in here—covering a square that looked about six meters on each side. Chet and I stood there staring at it for a good long while. As I started toward it, Chet put his hand on my shoulder.

“Miss Nightshade,” he said. “Might I inquire what the delvers told you? Before they left?”

“They…offered me a truce,” I admitted. “They want me to proceed no farther inward than Surehold. The next step on the Path would take us that way, wouldn’t it?”

“Almost assuredly.”

“Well, they don’t want me doing that. They made a promise. If I stay here, they’ll leave me alone.”

“And your people in the somewhere?”

“They implied they’d halt attacks, though it wasn’t clear if they understood completely what that means. They did promise to stop listening to Winzik and Brade—the two people they’d earlier made a deal with on the enemy’s side.”

Chet sighed and settled down on a box. He suddenly looked old to me, his mustache drooping and in need of a wax, his skin…wan. He gave me a smile, but something about him seemed worn out. And when he spoke, some of the facade—the persona—had faded, leaving a normal man.

“That’s a good offer,” he said. “Better than I ever thought they’d make. They’re frightened.”

“That’s what I decided as well,” I said, pacing before him in the cavernous warehouse, helmet under my arm. “Which makes me think I should refuse the offer. They’re desperate. I should keep doing what I’m doing, because it’s worrying them.”

“Except?”

“Except ostensibly, I came in here to find a way to stop them! And now I’ve found it. Shouldn’t I take it? Isn’t it my duty to at least try this?”

Chet nodded slowly.

I paced back the other direction. “How trustworthy are they, do you suppose?”

“I’m not sure I can say,” he replied. “I do get the sense that they live in the moment, but I know they also never change. So as long as they continue to be afraid of you, they should continue wanting the same thing—which means they’d persist in upholding any promise they made.”

“That’s not as strong as I’d like,” I said. “But…yeah, that makes sense. They don’t have honor—it’s not a thing they even comprehend. And they are backing out of a promise they made to Winzik. They could do the same to me.”

I paced back the other way, arms folded. This felt like a lot to put on one person still in her teens. How did I decide what could be the fate of not merely my people, but the entire galactic civilization?

“It feels like I should at least try them out,” I said. “If I can remove the delvers from the war… Scud, it would mean so much. It’s more than any pilot, no matter how skilled, could ever hope to accomplish.

“But if I take their deal, what then? Do I go back to the somewhere? How? Sneak through this portal into a Superiority base?”

“You’d need to remain a threat to the delvers,” Chet said. “Always on the cusp of doing the thing they’re afraid you’ll do—that is the best chance at keeping them honest.”

I nodded, though my stomach fell a little. That meant remaining in the nowhere, at least until the war against the Superiority was won. Could I really do that? I paced back the other direction.

“I worry that this is the wrong time to make concessions to the delvers,” I said. “Beyond that, our biggest advantage against Winzik is the fact that his coup is still relatively new. He’s securing power, Jorgen says—and doesn’t have full control yet. This seems the best time for me to press forward, continue learning about my powers. Exploit the fact that our enemies’ balance of power is unstable.”

“A difficult position,” Chet said. “Could I maybe…offer you another option? I don’t want to complicate the issue further, but I find I must speak.”

I glanced across at him, sitting on the box. He gave me a smile. Not an overly cheerful, toothy explorer’s smile. A tired, hopeful smile.

“What?” I asked.

“Come with me, Spensa,” he said, “and explore the nowhere.”

I froze in place.

“As I’ve been wandering alone,” he said, “I’ve started wishing I could pass on some of what I know. Wishing for a student, someone who shared my enthusiasm, my love of all things new and exciting. What if we didn’t continue on the Path of Elders? What if we turned away and just went off on our own?

“We could see what the farthest reaches hold! I’ve heard of distant fragments with creatures that sound strikingly similar to dragons! I’ve heard of water fragments full of caverns with air pockets, connected by transparent stone!”

Some of his old boisterousness returned, and his voice changed, more clipped—with a faint accent—as he stepped up to me. “Spensa,” he said, “we have an entire galaxy in microcosm. Worlds to explore. We could even return back here to Surehold on occasion. Scratch that flying itch! Spend time with the Broadsiders. Why, you could teach me to fly again! I show you a galaxy, and you show me who I used to be! A pilot, yes, and presumably friends to an AI. Me! Ha!

“Wouldn’t that be incredible, Spensa? Wouldn’t it be amazing? We could watch the delvers, see that they don’t attack your friends. As you guessed, they’ll be much more likely to keep their word if you’re within striking distance of continuing your quest. You wouldn’t be giving it up. No, merely a delay! A little…time off. To travel this wondrous place.”

It hit me like a punch to the stomach.

During my travels in here—the exploration and the fighting alike—something had been building in me. A sense of disconnect between the person I was becoming and the person I’d always imagined myself becoming.

In that moment, I was shocked—physically—by how badly I wanted to stay. I really loved it here. Exploring the belt? Going on grand adventures? And beyond that, fighting in the sky without the stress of losing those I loved? Being a hero, the best pilot in literally the entire universe?

“It sounds so nice,” I said to Chet. “Exploring, dueling…like…”

“Like a story?” he said softly.

I nodded. “Why do we remember the stories, Chet, but not our families? Why is that?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I wish I did.”

Together we turned to face the portal looming on the far wall. When I’d joined the DDF as a pilot, I’d imagined glorious battles and storybook heroism. I’d imagined new worlds to conquer. Instead I’d found pain. Friends dying. People struggling at the end of their stretched-thin nerves. I’d found complications, anger, fear.

I’d discovered I wasn’t a hero. Not like in the stories. But here…I could be that. And it felt so, so very right for me to stay and claim it. This place sang to me, like beautiful music from Old Earth. It vibrated my soul.

Didn’t I deserve to stay? Hadn’t I done enough? I’d saved Detritus from the bomb, and then from the delver. Wasn’t that enough for one woman? And now I had the chance to escape into a story…all the while providing a vital service to my people. I traded my future in the somewhere for holding back the destructive force of the delvers.

It was perfect. Except.

Jorgen. My friends. Could I…

“Chet,” I said, “you’ve always been afraid of the Path of Elders. Why?”

“I worry that if I walk it,” he said, “I’ll stop being myself.”

“Why?”

“Because every path we walk changes us, Spensa,” he answered. “This one more than most. Please, just think about my offer. Let’s not rush into this. There’s no harm in taking a few hours, is there?”

“No,” I said. “No, there’s not.”

He squeezed my shoulder in thanks, then bowed—something I don’t think anyone non-kitsen had ever done to me before—and quietly withdrew. I sat down on a box, looking at the portal. It felt wrong to be here and not discover what it had inside it. Yet…I hesitated.

It felt like I should know before I continued. Scud. Was I really thinking about turning away now?

Yes. I was. I remembered the pure joy of “sailing” across that ocean fragment with M-Bot and Chet. I remembered the thrill of discovering ruins that humans had built. I had loved the fights against Hesho, at least before buildings began appearing around me.

Being here was living an adventure. While being in the somewhere was… It was about pain. And scud, deep down, I realized I was so tired.

I’d been running since I could remember. Dashing from disaster to disaster. Desperately working to get into flight school, fixing M-Bot in secret, being a double agent on Starsight, confronting the delver…

It had worn me thin. Yet in here I’d found wonder, adventure, and excitement.

I sat there for a time, until footsteps scraping stone made me spin around. A large figure lumbered my direction, wearing a plumed hat. Peg smiled at me as she stepped up, a gun slung over her thick shoulder.

“The base is ours,” she told me. “Well and truly. I almost can’t believe it.”

“You earned it, Peg,” I said. “That was an amazing plan you put together.”

“Thank you,” she said, grinning. She nodded toward the portal. “Find what you wanted?”

“Both yes and no,” I said softly. “I’m honestly not sure yet.”

“I…heard that you might be staying.”

I glanced at her, frowning. In turn, she gestured toward the top of the wall. “Cameras,” she said. “I saw you two going this way, and had to make sure you didn’t accidentally open the portal and reveal what we’d done to the Superiority. I’m sorry to not give you and Chet privacy, but this is too valuable an asset for that.”

Right. Security officer. I tried not to feel offended. I mean, I hadn’t asked her to leave us alone—and she had a point about the portal.

“What would it take,” Peg said to me, “to get you to stay with the Broadsiders?”

I sighed. “I don’t know, Peg,” I said. “This is all a little overwhelming right now.”

“Fair enough,” she replied. “Grow igandels in thought—it is a good time. While you do, let me ask you something. Do you know why I was willing to come in here when no one else was? I knew the truth of what the Superiority was doing here. Not letting people out. Forced labor in another dimension. I came anyway. You curious to know why?”

“Yes, actually.”

“Out there, I was a killer,” Peg said, her voice softer. “In here was a new life. A fresh life. I didn’t know I was pregnant with my boys; that might have changed my mind. All I wanted was an escape from my old life, and coming in here offered it.

“Things out there are messy, Spin. Everybody arguing, fighting. Killing. But a lot of the things they argue over, well, they don’t matter in here. We don’t need food, and there’s plenty of space. Politics…ideology…those are things we can make up for ourselves in here. We can make this place whatever we want it to be.”

She turned, waving toward the complex. “I’ve known for years now that if I could just get this base—grab it by the throat and start building it up as a home, not a prison—we could make it wonderful. We could make a society. I want you to help me do that.”

“But Chet wants me to go exploring with him,” I said.

“I know, and I think that’s an excellent idea!” Peg said. “I’d want to put you on that kind of assignment frequently, between training seasons. Do you know what is out there? Past the empty stretches?”

“No.”

“I don’t either,” Peg said. “It’s hard to fly that far; when you hit the enormous gap between fragments it starts eating up your ashes, and you risk losing yourself. But I’ll tell you this—there are three other Superiority mining bases in the nowhere. I was given that information when I was applying for this job.”

“Only four total?” I said. “For the entire Superiority?”

“Exactly,” Peg said. “And this is the largest—which is why I’m certain they’ll meet my demands. But I’m also worried. If they use those other three bases—and somehow load them with enough reality ashes to cross the empty stretches—I could still get invaded. Plus Vlep is still out there, a real danger.

“I need fighters. More importantly, I need trainers of fighters. Then I need someone crazy enough to go explore, to discover how to cross the vast gaps.” She looked back at me. “You are the right person, Spin. The somewhere is a mess. But the nowhere can be something better. I want you to help me make it so.”

I…

Scud, I didn’t need this too. Not after what Chet had said. I knew they hadn’t coordinated it; Peg was just acting at a convenient moment. I felt double-teamed regardless. Triple-teamed, actually. Chet. Peg.

And my own heart.

“I reserved one of the officer suites for you,” Peg said. “You don’t have to make any decisions. But for now, why not go grab a shower and relax a little? Think over your options. You can at least stay there until we locate Surehold’s reality icon, and I can give you those ashes I promised.”

I considered. And scud, she was right. I needed some time. Plus, a shower sounded so nice. I called M-Bot and Hesho to let them know, then went to the room Peg indicated. It was an enormous suite—of the ridiculous type.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to the shower. I made the mistake of lying down on the bed first. And after the fighting, the chaos, the tension of my decision…I just found myself unable to stay awake.

And so I drifted off.


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