I didn’t see it coming — which, now that I know, I feel stupid because it’s obvious… It’s so fucking obvious and it makes everything about them, all their fucking issues, all the ways they couldn’t figure out how to let each other go, them disappearing that week at school — all of it, it just makes them make sense, which honestly — and I mean this — they never have until now.
They had a baby. Beej and Parks. In high school, they had a baby.
Truthfully, I’ve been pretty fucked up about it since I found out.
It makes why Beej was how he was with me and Parks make more sense too.
Makes what me and Parks almost did back in March way worse.
I want to be pissed at her for that, but how can I be, all things considered?
I chew on it for a couple of days, whether I should talk to Beej — feel like it’s the right thing to do.
He’s been around our place a bit lately. Usually we’d spend more time at their place, but I reckon he’s trying to catch a glimpse of her.
He’s been quiet since they told us, even in the group.
Hen and Jo are playing Red Dead Redemption 2 and Beej is out on the balcony, sitting by himself with a scotch.
“Oi.” I stand in the doorway.
He cocks his chin towards the boys. “You leaving them alone in there?”
I shrug. “They’ve gotta figure it out.”
“Are they talking?”
I shake my head.
He rolls his head back, looks at the sky and sighs. “I can’t work out whether it’s better or worse than you and me—”
I fold my arms over my chest. “It’s worse. Parks wasn’t torn.” He flicks his eyes over at me. “For her it was always you. But Taura—” I shrug. “She doesn’t know what she wants.”
Beej nods, thinking it through, and I sit down in the doorway, sighing.
“I didn’t know, man—”
He looks up and shrugs. “Yeah, I know—”
“If I had—” I shake my head. “I never would have — you know—”
“Yeah, alright—” He scoffs, tossing me a dirty look. “Let’s just us pretend that’s true—”
I roll my head back, blow some air out of my mouth. He can be a little prick when he wants to be. I want to smack him in the face for a second but I fight the urge.
“Are you okay?” I ask instead.
He sinks his drink. Stares at the empty glass. “No, man—” He shakes his head. “Not really.” Flashes me a quick look then looks away again.
“It’s typical Parks.” He breathes out. “She comes home, fucks me up immediately.”
“It is.” I sniff a laugh, then feel myself frown as I watch him. “Why didn’t you tell me about the baby?”
“We didn’t tell anyone.” He shakes his head.
“But if you’d told me then I wouldn’t have—”
“Stop.” BJ shakes his head. “It’s bullshit. I know it’s not true—”
“Bro—” I sigh, ready to defend myself but he locks on to me, staring over darkly.
“You didn’t know we had a baby, I know. But like, you knew what she was to me.”
I shake my head but I guess it’s sort of true.
“Didn’t stop you, man. It didn’t matter. You just wanted her too.”
My eyes drop and a guilt I haven’t really felt before for loving her drips through me.
“I’m sorry.” I tell him, and I mean it.
He flashes me a quick smile, nodding as he looks away. He looks tired. Stressed, maybe. Then he looks back at me with a crease between his eyebrows that he really only gets when it’s about her.
“Did you know?” He asks. “That she was staying?”
“No—” I look at him confused, shaking my head. “How would I know before you?”
He gives me a long look. “Never know with you two.”
Parks
9:52am
9:52am
I don’t want to make this about me, I know it’s not—
But I’m pretty pissed
Why?
How could you not tell me?
We never told anyone!
But me?
Christian
No
Shut up. With what we were? And what we did?
And New York?
Like, what the fuck, Parks?
Neither of us knew when we first started
back then that it was anything
more than a few kisses…
back then that it was anything
more than a few kisses…
Yeah but when it obviously stopped being that?
I couldn’t tell you
Why not
Would you have still been with me?
Honestly, probably.
Oh.
But you should have told me because
he’s my best friend and you had a
baby with him.
he’s my best friend and you had a
baby with him.
Isn’t Henry technically your best friend
Magnolia
Well he had sex with my best friend and he
knew he had a baby with me.
knew he had a baby with me.
You’re un fucking believable
Don’t be cross!
I am
Don’t be!!
This makes New York so much worse
How?
I don’t know it just does
Should we tell him?
Oh! Perhaps…!
Tell me, do you feel like dying today?
A bit.
Same, actually 🙂
Sorry.
Are you ok?
He’s not happy I’m staying.
Not true
You didn’t see his face
