I didn’t get the most overwhelming response from the boys when I told them how it went down with me and Daisy.
Jo and Henry thought she was overreacting a bit, not as much as I did.
BJ said I need to stop listening to the other two because their longest-standing relationships are with their own hands.
Henry didn’t like that — said he’s had girlfriends, and BJ said, “for more than a month?” And then they started arguing and Henry said “What about Romilly?” and BJ rolled his eyes and said something about it being ten years ago, and then Henry went weird the way Henry always goes weird about Romilly Followill so then I left to go see Daisy because my fuse isn’t that good in general, let alone when I’m fighting with her.
When I get to her house, Koa answers the door.
“Hey.” I nod my chin at him.
“Hey—” He sort of frowns. Guess he’s shitty about the sex tape too.
“Daisy here?” I walk past him.
Kekoa nods slowly. “She know you’re coming?”
“No?” I shrug and walk up the stairs to her room.
I don’t knock, because why would I knock? Worst thing that could happen is that she’s naked and then that’s great.
Can’t imagine she’ll be taking her clothes off for me anytime today so if I burst into her room and she’s changing, that’s just a softened blow for me, all things considered.
So I swing open her door.
“Dais, listen, I—” I start, but then I stop. Freeze on the spot.
Have you ever seen the person you love in bed with someone else?
I have before, seen it with Parks and Beej. They were in bed all the time, even when they “weren’t together” — they’d be in bed together. But she was his so even though I hated it then, this is different.
This is Daisy.
Mine. The girl I love more than anything else on the planet, sitting in bed with her ex boyfriend.
There’s space between them. It doesn’t look overly romantic. The TV’s on. Ghostbusters is playing.
And me and Dais, I think we’ve made some strides. I’m honest; I’m upfront. In my opinion, I think I’ve been forthcoming with my feelings for her. I think I’ve communicated to her how much I love her and what she means to me. And some fucker stealing and streaming a sex tape of me and a girl I used to shag that we made while Daisy and I were broken up, that’s not a big deal to me.
I had sex with Vanna. I know I did.
Did I want Daisy to see it? No, I’d prefer that she didn’t. I’d prefer that it wasn’t the most watched adult film in the country at the minute too, but here we are.
It is what it is. I did it. I didn’t cheat on her to do it. And I don’t really get why she’s so upset about it.
It doesn’t make sense to me. This kind of upset, all things considered, seems disproportionate.
This upset and running to fucking Rome? She can piss off.
I scoff and her eyes go wide. Launches herself out of bed as I turn to walk away. She’s fully clothed, I guess that’s something. Sweatpants and a singlet.
“Christian!” She runs after me and I spin back to face her in the hallway, getting up close to her face.
“You’re going to have a crack at me about a sex tape I made before we were back together when you’re over here in bed with your ex-boyfriend—”
She rolls her eyes. “We’re not in bed—”
“You’re literally in bed!” I yell at her.
“Not like that!” She yells back. “You know it’s not like that.”
“How the fuck would I know that, Daisy?” I give her a look. “The last time we had a fight, you ran off and fucked him — why not now?”
“You were in love with Magnolia!” she yells. “He’s my oldest friend!”
“Are you telling me that you can’t see how fucking hypocritical you are; angry at me for something I did when we were broken up when you’re here with him, in your bed, that you used to actually fuck him in—”
“Nothing happened—” Romeo says. Standing behind her.
I give him a steep look. “Oi, I’m trying to have a private conversation with my girlfriend— do you want to go get back into her bed and wait for her to be done out here with me—” I nod my head back towards her room. “That’s your thing, right?”
I look between them, eyebrows up, and Daisy scowls at me.
“Fuck you.”
I point at Romeo. “Nah, maybe you should fuck him.”
And then I turn and leave.
I regret saying that. Immediately I regret it. I feel sick about it, because what if she does it? She could. Girls can be like that. I fucking hate girls. They’re monsters, all of them. They don’t ever do good, they just fuck you up.
I slam the door as I leave and peel out of their driveway as fast as I can.
My first thought is I want to get even.
I want to do something that’s going to make her feel how I feel — and then something kicks in my stomach and I know that’s not true. I don’t want to make her feel how I feel, even if a bit of me does.
I can’t believe she did that. Running to Romeo? It’s fucked. As rich as it is fucked.
Of all people, Rome. Probably would have preferred her to run to Tiller, if I’m honest, because I can’t beat Romeo. What they have, I can’t top it. That ancient history, fabled shit like Parks and Beej, so much trauma in their pockets, too much life between them to properly pull them apart.
Do you know what it’s like to love someone who always has a fallback guy? A tug back towards someone who isn’t you? It fucks you up.
It’s fucked me up before. It’ll fuck me up now.
It already has.
