There’s a hand on my neck. Another one on my back, pushing me down. I try to scream, but my throat is raw, and it hurts. Not that anybody is coming for me. More hands now. Clawing at me. Pushing me. Violating me.
“No!” I scream, waking up from the same nightmare I’ve been having for the past two years.
“Kat,” a deep voice speaks against my ear.
“No, get off me,” I shriek, twisting in the covers as I try to get away from the monsters that are still here. But I can’t. I’m being pulled up, wrapped in strong arms and pressed against a solid wall of muscle.
“Kat, it’s just me. Just you and me,” he says softly, his breath dusting over my ear as he sits up and pulls me onto his lap.
“Dante,” I breathe out, sagging against his chest at the realization that it was just a dream. I’m here in the house of the most powerful man in the city. Except that it’s not just a dream, is it? It’s a living, breathing, all-encompassing memory. And I’m pretty sure a part of me is actually still stuck in that hellish basement. A part of myself that I will never get back.
“I’ve got you. You’re safe,” he whispers as he runs a hand over my hair.
I nod, my cheek brushing against his chest. It’s wet with tears I don’t recall shedding. “I didn’t know you had a sister,” I say, wanting to talk about something that doesn’t involve me being a freak. “She’s not talked about like you and your brother are. I mean, everyone knows who you are.”
“Yeah, and we kind of like it that way.”
“Why?”
“Because Lorenzo and I can take care of ourselves, but Joey… Anyway, I have two sisters.”
“You do?”
“Well, Toni is my half-sister. We were born within a few days of each other.”
“Oh? That must have been awkward at Christmas.” I laugh softly.
“Exactly,” he laughs too. “Lorenzo has always hated her for it.”
“Are you close with her?”
“Kind of. We were when we were kids, but she moved to LA when we were thirteen. She’s an MMA fighter.”
“No way. That is so cool.”
“Hmm. She is kind of cool. She’s back in Chicago right now actually, but she’s training for some big thing so…” He clears his throat as though he’s said too much — shown me too much of his real self. Then he turns to the conversation so expertly back to me. “You don’t have these dreams when you’re in my bed. Is there something about this room that’s a problem for you?”
Heat flushes over my cheeks. It’s not about the room at all.
“Kat?” he asks again.
“It’s not the room,” I breathe.
He’s silent, waiting for me to explain. I feel like such a fool for even admitting this, but… “It’s you.”
“But I’m here with you now?”
“But you weren’t holding me,” I whisper as my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I can’t believe I’ve become so dependent on this man who basically kidnapped me — a man who has made it abundantly clear that I am nothing more than a warm body to him.
The muscles in his chest tense, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. God, I’m such an idiot.
He lies back down, wrapping his arms tighter around me as he pulls me with him until I’m lying on top of him.
“I’m okay now,” I mumble, feeling like the world’s biggest fool. I try to push myself up, but he tightens his hold.
“Go to sleep, kitten,” he says softly.
Accepting defeat, I lay my head against his chest again and listen to the steady thrumming of his heartbeat against my ear. He strokes my hair and whispers something in Italian that I don’t understand, but the deep, soothing timbre of his voice makes me feel safe and protected.
I’m falling for this monster even though I’m trying my damn hardest to keep him at a safe distance. I’ve kept my heart behind a wall for so long, but he makes me realize that wall was only made of glass and he’s shattered it without even trying.
He’s an enigma. And the contrast between the man he is now, holding me and making me feel safe, to the one who ignores me and makes me feel entirely worthless, is going to break me. I don’t think I can handle being broken for a second time.
This is why I need to leave.
