I woke up to someone dropping in the bed beside me. Alarmed, I sat up and looked at Andrusha’s form sitting on the edge of the bed.
“What are you doing?”
“Go to sleep,” he enunciated his words carefully. Too carefully. The guy was hammered.
“Are you drunk?” I whispered in a shocked voice.
“Hazard of the job.”
I watched warily as he set his guns on the nightstand and then shrugged off his shirt.
He lay back on the bed with a heavy sigh. I should let him have his bed. I pushed the covers off and was about to swing my legs over the edge of the bed when a big hand clamped around my wrist.
“Where are you going?”
I froze, my heart pounding. “To the couch.”
“Stay here.”
I gingerly lay back down and pulled the covers up, but he didn’t let go of me.
When I tugged at his grasp, his fingers tightened around my wrist. This was ridiculous. Was he going to hold onto me all night? I tugged harder in an attempt to free my arm.
“You don’t want to do that,” he warned.
I lifted my head to look at him. “Do what?”
His eyes remained closed. “Tempt me.”
I huffed and put my head back on the pillow. “How is wanting my arm back tempting you?”
“I told you. I like to be in control.”
Something terrifying and forbidden zapped down my spine. For a moment I wondered what he’d do if I pushed him, but instinctively, I knew that was a bad idea.
I forced myself to try and relax, working to fall asleep.
I opened my eyes. Andrusha’s face was an inch from mine. His eyes were closed, displaying long dark lashes. Sleep didn’t soften his features. He looked as formidable asleep as he did awake.
As if he could sense my stare, his eyes opened showing me the clear blue color of his irises.
His eyes dropped to my mouth. “What am I doing in this bed?”
“You showed up here,” I breathed.
His eyes traveled over my face. “You have no idea what I want to do to you, do you?”
My eyes widened as I looked at him but I didn’t speak. I had an idea, but wasn’t clear on the details. Was he going to show me? Is this where things changed between us? I lay there completely still, while my heart pounded in my chest, wondering what would happen next.
“You should get out of bed while you can,” he warned.
I scrambled out of bed and pulled on my yoga pants and a sweatshirt over my head. “I should take Sasha out.”
Sasha scrambled off the couch and waited for me while I shoved my feet into my shoes. I glanced back at Andrusha, who lay in bed, looking as hot as sin. Our eyes met. My smile felt nervous. I yanked open the door and moved out of sight.
When Sasha and I returned to the loft, the bed was empty. I could hear the shower running in the bathroom. I put some coffee on, feeling self-conscious when Andrusha came out of the bathroom. His hair was wet and only a towel was wrapped around his muscular body. I ducked over Sasha’s dish, my face burning. Everything felt weird. I didn’t know where to look anymore. Or what to say.
“So, uh, what’s on your agenda today?” I called out, inwardly cringing at how wifely that sounded. His day wasn’t any of my business.
I turned, and he was standing in only a pair of jeans while he pulled an expensive-looking dark button-down shirt over his broad shoulders. What was it about a man getting dressed that looked so hot?
“I’m sorry.” I stood frozen, unable to tear my eyes away from the chest beneath his unbuttoned shirt. He walked over to the kitchen. Hard abs and muscles tantalized me from beneath the fabric.
He took a coffee cup out of the cupboard. “I have to go out of town today.”
My heart sunk at the thought of staying here by myself. This place was armed to the teeth, but I never felt truly safe unless he was around. “Okay.”
He sipped his coffee and looked at me. “You might as well come with me.”
I worked to hide my relief, to keep my expression neutral. “Alright.”
His eyes roamed over me before he carried his coffee towards the bed. I poured myself a cup and watched as he shrugged on his gun holster. He checked each weapon before holstering them. He stopped at the island to pick up his phone. “Be ready by four.”
At 3:58 p.m., I stood in the apartment, trying to look casual, but mostly I felt nervous. I had put on my best jeans and an off-the-shoulder top that was a bit sassy. I didn’t want to seem like I was trying too hard, even though I was.
We had a three-man escort to a private airport, and then we pulled around in front of a small jet. It had never dawned on me that we would be flying somewhere today.
“Come on,” Andrusha motioned for me to get out from the backseat.
The pilot shut the door. Viktor moved to the front to sit in the cockpit with the pilot.
Andrusha sat across from me. I watched in silence as the ground disappeared beneath us, and then we were moving up to the clouds. I looked around the expensive interior of the cabin before looking back at Andrusha. He looked relaxed in his dark V-neck sweater and jeans.
“Where are we going?”
His eyes looked me over before he answered. “Alberta.”
“What’s in Alberta?”
He blinked at me, and I wasn’t sure I would get an answer. “I need to meet with someone.”
I woke up as the plane started to descend. Andrusha was reading.
I sat up straight. “Sorry. I fell asleep.”
He put his book down. “I need to work on my conversation skills.”
I felt myself blush hot. “It wasn’t that.”
“Oh, do you fall asleep on all your dates mid-conversation?”
A date! “Uh — no.”
His harsh tone teased. “You’re starting to make me feel bad.’
Flustered, I turned to look out the window, watching as we started to descend. I could handle abrupt, bossy Andrusha, but flirty, teasing Andrusha threw me completely off balance.
I looked over at him. He had returned to his book.
“What are you reading?”
He shut his book and looked at the cover. “It’s about husbandry.”
I worked to keep my expression impassive. “Like farming?”
“Best practices in cultivating crops and breeding animals.”
I held my breath. “I see. Is that what you consider light reading?”
He tossed the book aside. “Just an interest of mine.”
I wanted to ask more questions, but Viktor came back and told us to prepare to land. Viktor and Andrusha spoke in Russian while I watched the plane land at a private airport. On the runway, an empty pickup truck waited for us.
Only Andrusha and I got into the truck. He pulled onto a highway that showcased golden fields and distant purple mountains. The landscape looked too beautiful to be real.
The fact that we were far enough from danger to actually ride without escorts wasn’t lost on me. “Out here, I feel like I can actually breathe.”
He glanced at me. “They call this place ‘big sky country.’” He turned on the radio. Country music crooned out of the speakers.
I looked at him in disbelief. “You listen to country?”
He looked out the window, away from me, hiding his smile. “There are some good songs.”
His smile, and everything else about this situation, disarmed me. I couldn’t reconcile the tough-as-nails criminal I knew with this relaxed, smiling man who drove a pickup truck.
We drove along the highway for almost an hour before we rolled into a small town. I watched as Andrusha pulled the truck in front of a faded building.
He got out and then looked at me. “Wait here.”
“Where are you going?” I blurted out, afraid of being alone.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he hesitated. “Don’t get out of the truck.”
I watched as he made his way into the small building before I looked around. There was no one around, there were barely any cars. I kept watch for anything suspicious, but this town was as sleepy as it seemed.
Finally, Andrusha came out of the building. Without speaking, he got in beside me and started the truck.
“How did your stuff go?” I asked, curious about what he had been doing.
“Fine. Just needed to sign some paperes.”
In this day and age of electronics, that surprised me. “You flew all the way here just to sign something?”
He glanced at me. “Out here people like to meet you face-to-face to shake your hand.”
I watched as he drove the truck down a wide street before pulling up to a small shack with Joe’s BBQ painted on the front in big, faded letters.
I looked over at him.
He killed the engine. “Come on, let’s go eat.”
When we walked into the small restaurant, the waitress yelled, “Take a seat wherever you want.”
My entire body reacted with a shiver when he placed his big hand on the small of my back. He motioned me towards a worn booth and a table covered with a red-and-white checkered tablecloth. I sat down and looked around. A few locals were eating, but no one paid us any attention.
“Do you want a beer?” he asked with another one of those easy smiles that made me wonder who Andrusha was.
I nodded, feeling tongue tied.
He ordered beers for us both, and a beef platter to share that included ribs, brisket, and steak. Cornbread, corn on the cob, and potato salad finished the meal.
When the waitress moved away, he leaned back and studied my face. “It may not be the healthiest meal in the world, but it’s worth it.”
I couldn’t reconcile this relaxed, easygoing man with the guy who fired bullets at vehicles while driving in a car chase. I followed his gaze around the small restaurant. A jukebox played country tunes in the corner. There was a saddle tacked to the wall along with several cans of beer. Everyone, including the waitress, was wearing cowboy hats.
“You will find a lot of Russian men who secretly covet the lifestyle of the cowboy.”
My gaze collided with his. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged, a smile playing on his lips. “Who doesn’t want to own a ranch?”
Said the man whose business required him to have a trauma surgeon on call. I thought about the book he had been reading on husbandry and tried to imagine him in this world. “Do you know how to ride a horse?”
His lips twitched. “I can ride a horse, shoot a gun. I even have a cowboy hat.”
Laughter escaped me. “You’re kidding.”
He gave me a teasing look. “Don’t knock it. That hat looks good on me.”
With that relaxed smile, those cheekbones, and that mouth, I didn’t doubt it. It made me think of that kiss, that had felt like a thousand butterflies had been dancing on my lips.
He watched my face. “What?”
I looked away. He came home with glitter and lipstick on his clothes, and he kissed like a thief. He had money and resources, and his stunning good looks had a ruthless, hard edge. There was no doubt that this man was a hot commodity in certain circles. It made me wonder if any women had seen him on a horse, wearing a cowboy hat. “What kind of women do you date?”
He took a sip of his beer. “That’s a dangerous question.”
“Is it a secret?”
He took in my expression. “I date very casually. My partners and I don’t get serious.”
“You mean, you don’t fall in love?”
“We just have fun together. When it stops being fun, we part ways.”
I couldn’t judge. It’s not like I had much experience of dating. When I was in ballet, I had limited time for relationships, and romance certainly wasn’t my focus. As a stripper, I got asked out by customers all the time. I tried to imagine Andrusha coming into the strip club. If he had asked me out, I would have absolutely turned him down. He was exactly the kind of man I avoided in my real life.
In this setting, I could imagine Andrusha in a relationship. In his real life, not so much. “You don’t want to get married?”
He leaned his arms on the table, focusing on me. “Why don’t you tell me what you want?”
I couldn’t remember the last time a man had asked me that question. “You mean in my life?”
“Yeah, your life.”
I chewed on my bottom lip. “I want to open my own dance studio and get a dog like Sasha.”
“Do you want the whole nine yards?”
My eyes got caught in his stare. “The whole nine yards?”
“You know. Kids, house, family vacations, marriage.”
I didn’t let myself dream of those things. “Who doesn’t want that? But that doesn’t mean I’m going to get it.”
“You can have whatever you want.”
It was easy for someone like him to say that. He was already powerful, with lots of money, and he knew how to survive in this world. No matter how hard I had worked, I still ended up working as a stripper. The kind of men I attracted weren’t exactly the marrying kind.
I gave him a rueful smile. “I used to think that. Not so much anymore.”
His eyes traced over my face. “You know, I’m doing my best to keep my hands off you.”
His admission made my stomach quiver. My eyes dropped to his big hands, and for a split second, I imagined them on my body. Could I handle the intimacy of his bare hands on my naked skin? I knew from our kiss that being with him would require me to abandon control. I wasn’t sure how anyone could handle that.
He watched me like he could see inside me.
Nerves made me watch the waitress instead of looking back at him. “We never talked about what you want.”
He gave a short laugh. “I thought we just did.”
That made my face burn hot.
“You know what I really want?”
That had me turning back towards him. “Tell me.”
“I want to see you dance.”
Out of everything I expected him to say, that was not it. “What kind of dance?”
“Anything you want.”
The idea of dancing for him made me feel self-conscious. “When?”
“Whenever you want.”
We drove back to Calgary mostly in silence. Viktor waited for us at the plane.
“How was the barbecue?” he asked with a smile as I boarded.
I handed him a large takeout container. “We ordered you dinner.”
His eyes lit up. “You didn’t have to do that.”
This time, Viktor sat in the cabin with us and ate his ribs. They spoke mostly in Russian, and I could tell by the change in Andrusha that they were discussing business. He got an edge to him when he worked.
I was more than content to curl up quietly in the big leather chair. I thought about tonight, about how we had felt like different people, living a different life.
Andrusha wanted to see me dance. I lifted my eyes to him. He was listening to something Viktor was saying, but he was watching me. I felt pinned beneath his stare.
Again, I felt that pull towards him, like gravity, dragging me closer. He was a vibrant force that pulled me towards him like an undertow. If we crossed that line, which I knew he wanted to cross, how would I possibly survive him? He would change me. He would rearrange me on a cellular level. And I couldn’t forget that in between all the body glitter and red lipstick, I didn’t—and would never—mean anything to him.
I forced myself to pull my gaze off him and look out the window.
