I woke up, knowing instantly I wasn’t alone. Maybe it was the heavy arm that was pinning me by the waist, or the huge leg that was pushed between mine from behind. I stayed silent, not wanting to disrupt my big, warm cocoon.
Andrusha had slept with me. And now he was cuddling me.
Amelia may have been engaged to him at one point, and he may have slept and cuddled with her, but now I was the one with his arm wrapped around me.
Last night, while Amelia stood by, Vlad had told me that no one here wanted me around and that they were all actively working on a solution to get rid of me. He also told me that my presence was putting Andrusha at huge risk. So when Vlad suggested that I leave on my own to save Andrusha’s life, I knew it was the only choice I had. I didn’t want to be responsible for any harm coming to Andrusha. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
Andrusha’s deep, slow breaths pushed his chest against my back. I could feel the heat of his skin through the thin material of my tank top.
It made me think of when he had stripped me naked and pushed his face between my legs. I felt myself flush as my body remembered exactly how that had felt.
“How long have you been awake?” Andrusha asked.
I lifted my head. “How did you know I was awake?”
His arm tightened, and he nuzzled my neck. “You’re breathing changed.”
I felt his hard arousal press against my butt cheeks. I felt teeth dragging on my neck, and then his hot mouth. My stomach pitched wildly in anticipation.
“Why does your neck always smell so good?”
“I don’t know,” I gasped when his tongue hit a nerve.
He ground himself into me for a couple of hot seconds before he rolled away. “I need to leave you alone.”
I almost protested but instead buried my face into the pillow. I had no idea what I wanted, but the bed felt alone and cold without him.
I watched him disappear into the bathroom. If he hadn’t stopped, would I have made him? I flushed as I thought about his touch. Would it be a crime if I let him do more things to me?
I flopped on my back, confused about my thoughts. I had held onto my virginity hoping to share it with someone I loved. Andrusha was wrong on so many levels. He didn’t love me. Half the time I wasn’t sure he liked me. So why did his touch tempt me so much? I knew I was playing with fire. I needed to stay away from him.
My decision to stay away from Andrusha lasted about three hours. Then I found myself leading Sasha into Andrusha’s office.
“Hey,” he said, not looking up from his work.
I chewed my bottom lip, not sure why I was here. “Is it okay if we hang out here?”
He didn’t glance up. “Sure.”
I sat on the couch beside Sasha with my book and discreetly watched as Andrusha worked at his desk. He was concentrating deeply as he read something on his laptop.
He didn’t look up from his screen when he asked, “What’s up?”
I swallowed, trying to think of something to say. “What are you reading?”
“The different weights of polystyrene and polyethylene.”
“What are those?”
“Types of industrial packing material.”
“That sounds boring.”
He looked up at me, unimpressed with my interruption. “What’s going on?”
“What makes you think something is going on?”
“When is the last time you asked me about my business?”
I couldn’t hold his gaze. “Do you have to work tonight?”
He sounded like he was working to be patient. “I don’t know. Why?”
Because I hate it when you leave. “Just wondering.”
His eyes narrowed on my face. “You have plans?”
I felt my face get hot so I ducked my head, pretending to pluck at a loose thread on my shirt. “I might be watching a movie.”
“What time?”
My eyes met his. “After dinner.”
“I’ll come up.” My heart jolted at the thought of getting to spend alone time with him, away from his work and interruptions. Would he show me again the easy-going side of him, when he wasn’t working and intently focused?
“I can make popcorn.”
A ghost of a smile passed over his lips. “It’s a date.”
The day dragged. I ate alone in the loft and then waited for him. The later it got, it dawned on me that he might not show up.
When the door opened, I nervously shot to my feet.
His gaze looked at the television. “Did I miss the movie?”
I shook my head. “No.”
He looked around the loft. “Thought you were going to make popcorn.”
“I was waiting for you,” I flushed as I moved to the kitchen.
While I made the popcorn, I discreetly watched as he took off his guns and settled down on the couch. He leaned his head back on the couch and let out a long sigh.
A few minutes later, when I carried our drinks to the couch, I found him in a dead slumber. I stood there looking down at him, wondering how he worked all the time and never seemed to sleep. I curled up on the chair across from him with the popcorn and my textbook, but they were mostly props. I was really there so I could get a front-row seat to watch him.
Asleep, he looked younger and more at peace, reminding me of the guy who laughed with Mica. Most of the time, he seemed so intense. I should be more wary of him, but I couldn’t seem to stop hinting for his attention.
Twenty minutes into his nap, his phone rang, waking him within seconds.
“Yeah,” he answered, looking over at me. Our eyes met as he listened.
“Give me ten.”
He sat up and rubbed his face. “How long was I asleep?”
“About twenty minutes.”
He looked at the mostly uneaten bowl of popcorn, his tone a touch sardonic. “I missed our movie date.”
“It wasn’t a date.” I lied. “And it sounds like you would have missed it anyway.”
He stood up and re-holstered all his weapons, while looking down at me.
“What’s on the agenda for our next date?”
Next date! I worked to keep my expression neutral. “That’s up to you. You get to plan the next one.”
“When is this thing?”
I shrugged, pretending that my heart wasn’t racing. “That’s also up to you.”
I waited to see what Andrusha would plan. Would it be like when he flew me to Alberta to eat BBQ in a tiny restaurant in the middle of nowhere? Would he show me that carefree guy who smiled with ease and asked me what I wanted out of life? As the days slid into each other, Andrusha all but ignored me. He seemed to have a hair-trigger temper that made everyone around him scramble. He left late at night, taking teams of heavily armed men with him to do whatever it was he needed to do. He didn’t crawl into bed with me and he didn’t ask me questions.
But four days later, when I was standing outside, watching Sasha sniff the ground, he appeared behind me. I glanced back at him, gauging his mood.
He crossed his arms as he looked across the yard. “Ready for our date?”
The words jolted my body. “Right now?”
“Right now.”
Andrusha’s idea of a date was to take me down to the shooting range.
With dismay, I stood beside the table that had various weapons laid out, and watched as Andrusha picked up a set of ear protection and plastic yellow glasses.
“What are we doing here?”
He motioned for me to put on my gear. “You need to learn to shoot a gun.”
I watched as he picked up a gun. “No I don’t.”
He held out the gun for me to see. “This is the chamber. This is the safety. When this is pulled back, the gun is locked and ready to go. Now you try.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No.”
He gave me an exasperated look. “It’s not loaded.”
I crossed my arms sounding like a petulant girlfriend. “This is my date?”
“I need to know that you have a basic understanding of a gun.”
“I don’t want to have a basic understanding.”
“Humor me.”
His impatient tone made me gingerly take the gun from his hands. I practiced putting the safety on and off and then let him show me how to aim the gun.
“Ready to shoot some bullets?”
“No.”
He took the gun from me and loaded it before handing it back to me. I felt him step behind me and lift my arms. Then he put the gun in my hand and steadied my arm. “Now squeeze the trigger.”
Afraid, I stalled. “You do it first.”
Bang. He fired the gun.
It was loud, even with my ear protection.
“You try now.”
With shaking hands, I squeezed the trigger.
Bang.
He dropped his arms, but he steadied me by pulling me back until I stood with my back against his chest. “Try again.”
Andrusha made me practice loading the gun and then I had to shoot an entire box of bullets. When I finished, my arms were shaking.
He took the gun away from me and pressed a button so my target paper came closer.
Together we stared at the sheet. Dead center was the one shot Andrusha had made. I could see no other marks on the paper.
He lifted his hand to the sheet and pointed to the very edge, where a tiny edge of the paper was ripped. “You hit the target here.”
“Why do I have to learn to shoot a gun?”
“It would make me feel better.”
I was done with this gun business. Without looking at him, I pulled off my gear and tossed it on the table.
He looked unimpressed. “We’re just getting started.”
“I’m done here,” I told him, not caring how he reacted. I hated guns and I was done with this so-called date.
He reached out and grabbed my wrist, tugging me back to him. “We’re done when I say we’re done.”
I twisted my wrist hard in his grasp and gave him a flat stare. “I hate guns and I hate violence.”
Something flared in his eyes as he pulled me hard against his chest. “Don’t test me.”
My breath pushed in and out of my lungs as I stared up at his smoldering gaze. “I’m not.”
His nostrils flared, but he dropped my wrist and stepped back from me. “You need to stay out of my way.”
I was tempted to argue that he had come and found me, but the look on his face stopped me. His eyes glittered with danger, reminding me of a big animal that was about to pounce. When he was in this kind of mood, it felt dangerous to push him. Without speaking, I turned and fled up the stairs, leaving him standing alone in the gun range.
Two nights later, I was lying on the couch reading when Andrusha stalked in. I watched him over the top of my book as he dropped his guns and holster on the island before moving to the bar. Our eyes met as he unscrewed a bottle and poured a healthy amount of vodka over ice.
“Bad day?” I quipped, wondering why I couldn’t seem to keep my mouth shut around him.
He tossed back the vodka and stared at me. “Why didn’t you give lap dances at your club?”
My entire body stilled under the intensity of his look. Because it was too intimate. “I don’t know.”
He poured more alcohol into his glass. I scrambled to a sitting position as I took in his mood. There was a dark edge to him tonight. His energy didn’t scare me, it attracted me with its promises of hot kisses and forbidden touch.
I studied him before pushing him a bit. “Why are you asking about lap dances?”
He walked across the room and stopped in front of me, looking down at my upturned face. A cheap thrill shot through my body when he slid his big hand around my neck and tugged my hair further back. “Why do you tempt me?”
Why did I like it when he got bossy? “I was only asking a question.”
His hooded eyes studied my face. “I want my dance.”
My heart thudded heavily in my chest. “What kind of dance?”
“A lap dance.”
A lap dance would lead to us having sex. I think part of me knew that I had always wanted him to be my first, but now that the moment was here, nerves washed over me. Stalling, more than anything, I confirmed, “You want me to give you a lap dance?”
He hesitated, his nostrils flaring slightly. “Yes.”
“Can I get ready?”
He caressed my neck as he removed his hand from me. “Take your time.”
I stood up and carried a chair to the middle of the room. Had I just agreed to give Andrusha a lap dance? In a panic, I looked around the room. I needed to dim the lights.
I paused as I looked back at him. WE were about to pass the point of no return. “I can’t dance without music.”
He handed me his phone. “Pick a song.”
I picked one of my favorite songs before handing his phone back to him. I think I was more nervous now than my first night dancing at the club. “I’m just going to go change. When I’m ready, you need to turn on the music and sit in the chair.”
His eyes never left my face. “I can do that.”
I stared in the bathroom mirror at my reflection. I had curled my hair until it fell down my back in a riot of waves and I had applied heavy eye makeup before changing into my best underwear. I put a sheer dance skirt over my hips and placed a scarf strategically around my neck. Then I sat down on the edge of the tub to put on my heels.
I should tell him I’m not going to do this. I fussed with the scarf before I ripped it from my neck and tossed it on the counter. Even if I was beyond nervous, I wanted this to happen.
I took a breath and reached for the doorknob. The shrill sound of his phone over the Bluetooth speaker made me pause.
I listened at the door knowing what was about to come.
I heard him speak in Russian and hang up.
There was a sharp rap on the door. “Olivia.”
“You have to leave.”
“Can you open this door?”
I caught sight of myself with my big hair, heavy make-up, and no clothes. There was no way in hell he was seeing me like this, not if he was leaving. “No.”
The door rattled and then he spoke through the door. “I’ll be gone an hour, tops. Trust me, I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to.”
I leaned against the door. “An hour?”
“Have a drink. I’ll be back shortly.”
I could have a couple of drinks, practice a few moves, and be waiting on the edge of the bed for him to come home. Maybe he wouldn’t even need the dance.
“Fine.”
I waited until I heard the door of the loft slam before coming out.
