Thursday morning, and it felt like a hazy film had been wiped away.
The piece of information given to me by Elise had been the start of uncovering the nefarious, destructive conspiracy that had been going on right under my nose. Once that initial thread was pulled, it all came unraveling in a surprisingly swift and complete deluge.
The past three years, the lead of my California field team had been accepting bribes from Brian Lewis to falsify his inspection reports. He actually hadn’t set foot in that factory in more than two years. Without oversight, Brian had been cutting corners to save money, illegally disposing of waste into the environment.
When my field team went to inspect Dominic Peters’s factory during our negotiations, he’d been offered the same deal: cash in hand to look the other way, allowing Dominic to ignore our strict policies.
No doubt he would have accepted, but our negotiations had gone awry and Andes had contracted a third factory.
Dominic Peters proved to be the underhanded, duplicitous scumbag I had first appraised him as. When he didn’t get our business, he decided to get even by going to the press.
Through all this, Marisol had been beside me, most likely shaking in her boots while playing the supportive friend. The fact of the matter was, she’d been in charge of the field teams on the West Coast and all this flying beneath her radar was impossible to believe.
My team scoured her computer, uncovered proof of her negligence, and she’d been escorted from the building, her access to both Andes and me revoked. The last acknowledgment she would ever receive from me was my signature on her letter of termination.
A lot of people’s lives were going to be turned upside down, some ruined, but I couldn’t help being relieved. Now that we knew exactly what we were dealing with, we had a path to recovery.
And now that the haze was gone, a sudden and acute sense of clarity washed over me.
I had made a massive mistake with Elise. I had been aware that I was, but I’d been on a single-minded mission to save Andes. I hadn’t had the mental headspace to halt the ball I’d started rolling.
I got off on the seventh floor. Now wasn’t the time to beg for her forgiveness, but I couldn’t spend another day in my office without at least seeing her. Absent the haze that had been keeping me apart from everything but my goal, the pressure in my chest became intolerable.
Without Elise, I couldn’t breathe properly.
She was my breath of fresh air. My body had become dependent on her. How could I have gone two weeks without breathing her in? It was inconceivable.
To my great fucking disappointment, Elise’s desk was empty, her computer screen black. I was late arriving at the office. Most people were already working. She should have been working.
I strode around the floor, checking the break area and stairwell, not finding her. Eyes were on me, including Elise’s friends, Rebecca and Simon, who were huddled together near the collab table. They straightened when I approached them, their whispered conversation cutting off abruptly.
“Hello,” I greeted.
They mumbled greetings back, with none of the friendliness I was used to from them. But then, they were Elise’s friends. They’d no doubt heard how badly I’d neglected her.
I cut to the chase.
“Do either of you know where Elise is?”
They exchanged glances. Rebecca blinked at me.
“I’m sorry, who?”
I cocked my head in confusion. I needed to sleep for about thirty hours to catch up on all I’d missed. Had I said the wrong name?
“Elise Levy. Do you know why she isn’t at work?” I pressed.
Simon scratched his chin. “I wish I could help, but I really don’t know who you’re talking about.”
I pointed at her empty desk. “Elise. The woman who sits at that desk every day. Where is she?”
Rebecca tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I really don’t understand what you’re saying.” She turned to Simon. “Do you?”
He shrugged. “Not a single clue.”
Understanding dawned on me. Violence rose in my blood. They were giving me the same treatment Patrick had been given by Elise’s friends in Chicago.
“That’s enough,” I bit out. “I’d like you both to remember who you work for. I won’t be disrespected in my own company.”
Rebecca lifted her chin. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to threaten your employees because they won’t discuss their coworker.”
Simon linked arms with her. “I agree. If there’s nothing else, we’re busy.”
They walked away from me without another word. But then, there was nothing left to say. I shouldn’t have been in a position to beg my employees to tell me where my girlfriend was.
And yet…
Where the hell was she?
Once I was in my office, I asked Renata to check with Elise’s direct boss, Salma. She reported back that Elise had taken two days off and would be back Monday. She did not tell me where she was.
I spent the rest of the day fucking floundering. My concentration was shot, and the pressure in my chest only mounted as the hours slipped by.
It wasn’t as if I had nothing to do. It was that I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore, not now that I’d fully wrapped my head around the bomb I’d dropped on my own life.
I went through the motions to get through the day. As listless as I was, and as badly as I ached to tear out of here and hunt Elise down, there were still calls and meetings that required my presence, if not full attention.
By the time I walked into my apartment that evening, my chest felt like there was a herd of elephants stomping on it. I kicked off my shoes, leaving them where they landed, and yanked the tie loose from my throat.
Miles was at my dining room table, a few take-out containers scattered around. His mouth fell open in surprise when I sank down into the chair across from him.
“You’re home early,” he muttered around a mouthful of lo mein.
“Where is she?”
He swallowed hard and wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. “Now you’re asking?”
My fingers flexed on the table. He knew. “Tell me where she is.”
“Have you bothered calling her? Asking her yourself?”
I swiped my phone awake and slid it across the table. He picked it up, squinting at the chain of unanswered texts, then put the phone face down and slid it back.
“She isn’t around.” He met my eyes with a hard glare. “That’s all you’re getting from me. If she wanted you to know where she was, she would have told you. I guess since you broke up with her—”
I slapped the table, black shrouding the corners of my vision. “I didn’t break up with her. Goddammit, I would never break up with her. I couldn’t—”
“You ignored her for almost two weeks, Weston. You don’t have to say the words ‘I’m dumping you’ for it to be true. You withdrew from the relationship, and since a relationship requires two people for it to exist, I’d say yours is over.”
I shot up from my chair, shoving my fingers through my hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. That’s not—”
“Don’t say it isn’t what you meant to do. You made a choice, and that was to give everything to your company. Own that shit, Westie. That’s who you are.”
I opened my mouth to explain what had been going on but fuck that. Miles worked there. He had to be well aware.
“I had to give everything to Andes. There was no other option.”
He shrugged. “All right. Well, as someone who’s never been in a serious relationship, I’m not going to sit here and dole out advice.”
I heaved a sardonic laugh. “Thanks for that.”
He held up his hand. “But from a layman’s perspective, you’re a complete piece of shit.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Maybe.” He balled up his napkin and tossed it on his plate. “But I do know I’ve been staying here a while, and I saw you going to bed every night alone. How many nights did you spend alone before all this went down? I’m guessing none. I’m guessing you were with Elise, then suddenly, boom, something big happens and you won’t have anything to do with her.”
“I told her I couldn’t have distractions—”
Miles winced. “Yeah, again, I’m no expert, but calling your girlfriend a distraction is not the vibe. And you know what? I’m glad she’s not around. If this was your plan of approach, you would have failed miserably. I want to dump you, and you know, I’m not your girlfriend.”
“Why are you here?” I rammed the heel of my hand into my forehead. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be? I said a week. It’s been a hell of a lot more than that.”
“I didn’t think you noticed.” He got up from the table, gathering his dishes. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gone soon. Then you can be all alone with the love of your life, Andes.”
Two weeks of frustration and all of the anger I’d been tamping down swelled until I couldn’t stop myself from exploding. One second, I was pacing behind the dining room table. The next, I had my brother shoved against the wall, my fist reared back to slam into his face.
His eyes locked with mine, and he raised his chin as if to give me a clearer target.
“Shut up,” I hissed. “Why do you always have to talk? You don’t know anything.”
“I know what I’m seeing. You’re screwing up, and for what? What, Weston?”
I leaned into him, pressing him hard into the wall. “What would you have me do? Let my company fail and end up like Dad, a lazy drunk who doesn’t care about anyone but himself? Would that be better?”
“Is that your only choice? One extreme or the other? You end up alone either way.” He pushed me off him and backed away, his hands up in defense. “For being an asshole and laying your hands on me, you can clean up the mess you made me make. I’m going to my room.”
His dishes and food were scattered all over the floor. I stared at them blankly, Miles’s parting shot rattling around my head.
You end up alone either way.
You end up alone either way.
You end up alone either way.
I got out the broom to sweep up the noodles and rice and acknowledged Miles was right. In my efforts to be nothing like my father, I’d become just as destructive as he was.
Now what?
I could crawl to Elise and beg for her forgiveness, but my hands were empty, and my promises meant nothing anymore since I’d already broken the ones I’d sworn I never would.
It eviscerated me to even think it, but how could I not wonder if Elise was better off without me in her life?
She deserved someone who would be able to always choose her.
Maybe my absence was a favor to her.
None of those thoughts sat right with me, but that didn’t make them any less true.
It had been a while since I’d made it to a gym session. Friday morning, I finally had the time. When I walked in, Luca jerked with surprise. I nodded to him, continuing toward the weights, where Elliot was lifting.
He watched me approach in the mirror. Expression unreadable, his muscles flexed as he curled a dumbbell to his chest.
“Hey,” I greeted him. “How are you?”
He dropped the weight in the rack and walked away without a word. My head fell forward, shame heavy on my shoulders.
He was pissed, and rightfully so.
I’d hurt his little sister. If I were him, I’d tear me apart.
Luca sidled up beside me. Leaning his back against the mirrored wall, he watched as I picked up a weight.
He lifted his chin. “You dig yourself out of your hole?”
“For now.” My eyes slid to him. “It’s been a hell of a time.”
“I wouldn’t know since I don’t read the newspaper.”
“You’re in line to take over a multibillion-dollar company. You should, at the very least, read the financial section.”
He folded his arms and made a chuffing sound. “Right. Good advice. I was referring to the fact that I haven’t heard a word from you. Radio silence for two weeks is absolute bullshit.”
I dropped the weight back in the rack. “I’m sorry if your feelings were hurt—”
“My feelings aren’t hurt. I’m used to you dropping off the face of the earth to tend to your priorities. I count myself lucky I don’t depend on you for any type of emotional support because I would have been waving like a flag in the wind. The thing is, I would have been there for you. You know that, right?”
I cupped my nape and heaved a sigh. “Thank you. I do know that. I wasn’t thinking about seeking support while I was in the middle of it. Now that we’re starting to come out on the other side—”
“You finally remember the rest of us?” He shook his head. “Elliot’s categorically displeased with you.”
We both looked across the gym. Elliot was running full out on a treadmill. His fierce expression and the tightness in his shoulders most likely had nothing to do with how hard he was pushing himself.
“What does he know?”
“That you broke up with Elise—”
“I didn’t break up with her.” Miles’s words vaulted to the front of my thoughts. I had withdrawn. There was no denying that. “We didn’t end things officially. I don’t want to end things.”
“Wow.” He turned his head, his gaze unfocused. “For a smart, successful man, you really are a bumbling fool. You dumped her and broke her fucking heart. Have you even faced that?”
My heart hammered against my ribs. This wasn’t anger, though. A wave of panic mixed with helplessness slammed into me.
“That wasn’t my intention. I didn’t think—”
“No, I know what you were thinking about.”
He didn’t say it, but we both knew where my thoughts had lain.
“I don’t know how to be any different.” That was the stark, raw truth. This had been my entire identity for so long, changing was incredibly fucking daunting.
But the alternative, losing Elise forever, was unacceptable.
And I might have already done that.
“Then you need to figure it out. At this point, you haven’t only lost Elise. Where she goes, Elliot goes too.”
With that parting shot, Luca sauntered off, heading toward the treadmills.
I had a lot to think about. Serious changes to make if I wanted a chance at making things right with Elise. And Elliot, for that matter.
What Marisol said to me when she rejected my marriage idea had been laughable then, but now it struck a powerful chord. I was proud and loved what I’d built with Andes, but compared to my love for Elise, one didn’t come close to touching the other.
It was Elise. It had always been Elise.
I still wasn’t convinced I was good enough for her, but I was certain if I lost every other thing in my life and only had her, I would have absolutely everything.
I had a lot of work to do. Luckily, work was the one thing I was good at.
