The sound of voices outside the tent startled me.
Sitting up in bed, I watched Elias go to the door. Moments later, I heard him thank someone, then he came back in carrying… a cot. And blankets.
What?
He set up the makeshift bed on the other side of the tent and draped a blanket over it, then came to the bed where I was and retrieved his favorite pillow.
“Were you going to use this one?” he asked.
Speechless, I moved my head back and forth, my hair sliding over the remaining pillow.
He put his on the cot, plumped it, and stretched out, pulling a second blanket over him.
“Good night, Miri. Sleep well.”
I lay there in stunned silence. There was no end to the surprises with this guy. He almost never did what I expected him to do.
And while I appreciated the fact that I wouldn’t be forced into anything, I was also deeply wounded by the confirmation that no—something was not better than nothing as far as Elias was concerned.
He preferred the nothing.
I wouldn’t have to make a decision after all tomorrow about whether to reject Elias. He’d already decided to reject me.
A tear leaked from the corner of my eye followed by a matching tear on the other side. I swallowed hard, trying to quell the ache in my throat.
Fighting to stay quiet, I pressed my face into my pillow to muffle the sound.
On the other side of the tent, Elias lifted his head. “What’s that noise?”
I didn’t answer.
“Mireya. Is that you?”
“No.” Unable to control it, I sniffled.
He sat up and threw off his blanket.
“Are you… crying?”
“No,” I lied again, hurriedly wiping my cheeks and beneath my eyes with my fingertips.
Elias got out of his hammock and came to my bedside, kneeling so his face was level with mine. Unfortunately at this close range my lies were exposed.
His voice softened as he spotted my tear tracks and trembling lower lip.
“Why are you crying, Miri?”
This time I didn’t protest his usage of the nickname. For one thing, it sounded really nice in that gentle tone he was using.
For another, I was afraid if I opened my mouth to correct him, a sob would come out instead.
“Do you miss your parents?” he guessed. “Your friends?”
I nodded and swallowed. “Yes.”
That was all I said—all I could say. Apparently it wasn’t good enough for Elias. He kept studying my face.
“That’s not it. Are you crying about today? You wanted to be chosen by one of the other guys?” he asked, shocking me.
“I know Titus is a lot better looking, and Dann is taller,” he said.
What? “No. Of course not. I don’t even know them.”
Also, I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone taller than Elias, and Titus was definitely not better looking. Elias was incredibly handsome—the best-looking guy I’d seen in all the Haven.
“What is it then?” he asked.
Attempting to answer, I shocked myself by bursting into tears again.
Elias looked concerned. He rubbed my back with one hand. “Look whatever it is, we’ll work it out. There’s always a solution.”
“Not to this,” I managed to say between sobs. Finally I blurted out the real problem. “You’re stuck with me.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
My next words came out in a rapid stream. Now that the dam was broken, there was no stopping it.
“I was the only girl left, and you had no choice, and clearly I was the least appealing one because I was last,” I said. “And now you’re stuck with me, and your friends were all laughing because they’re sorry for you, and you’re so disgusted by it and so tired of having me around that you had a different bed brought in so you wouldn’t have to sleep with me anymore.”
For a second Elias was quiet, processing my rambling stream-of-consciousness tirade.
And then he laughed. Really laughed—which only made me feel more humiliated.
I scooted away from him, moving to the other side of the bed and scrambling to get out. There was no way I could stay here a minute longer. I had to get away from him—even if I had to leap off the edge of the platform.
Elias lunged forward over the bed and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back down onto the blanket. I thrashed, struggling to break his iron grip.
“Miri—stop. Stop trying to get away. Let me talk to you.”
“No! You’re laughing at me.” My voice sounded as miserable as I felt.
Elias sobered. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you. I was only laughing because it’s so ridiculous. I can’t believe you think the things you just said.”
Finally I went still.
“Sleeping with you is my favorite thing in the whole world,” Elias said. “For one thing, you’ve completely cured me of the nightmares I’ve had basically every night since we escaped the base.”
He paused and leaned closer. His eyes at this range were a dark, velvety brown and so deep they seemed bottomless. My breathing stopped as I waited for him to continue.
“For another, you’re beautiful—much more beautiful than the other two girls.You look amazing and feel amazing and smell amazing.”
My heart twisted and writhed in my chest. It was the most exciting sensation I could ever remember experiencing—and the most uncomfortable. I didn’t trust it.
“You’re just saying that because I had a flower bath.” I pouted. “And you want to make me feel better so I’ll stop crying and keeping you awake.”
“I’m not. I swear.”
He bit his lip and looked off to the side before letting out a big exhale. “I have a confession to make. It’s my fault you were the last to be chosen.”
“Your fault? How could it be your fault? The Choosing goes in order of top scorer to third place, right?”
“Yes, but…”
Elias looked and sounded reluctant but he went on. “I talked with Titus and Dann in the winners’ circle. I told them… I told them you were … difficult to live with. I told them you snore and chatter constantly and… smell weird.”
“Okay, so I guess you don’t want to make me feel better.”
I started to get out of the bed again, but Elias once again pulled me back. This time he got in the bed with me—on top of me in fact, straddling my waist so I couldn’t move.
“Will you please stop trying to leave? Let me finish.”
I went limp beneath him, and not just because of his request. Having him on top of me like this made me feel weak all over.
“I was lying,” he said. “I said those things because I was sure they’d choose you. And I wanted you to still be standing there when it was my turn.”
“You… manipulated them?”
He shrugged and gave me an unrepentant grin. “I’m not above a little friendly manipulation when there’s something I want.”
The rich, dark eyes seemed to look right through me, as if speaking directly to my soul.
“And I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you,” he said.
My tears were a distant memory at this point, supplanted by a feeling of shock so profound that I was struggling for air.
I still wasn’t sure I believed Elias, but his tone was completely serious, and the look on his face made me feel hot and shivery all over.
“Is that true? You really wanted me?”
“Yes. I have since the first time I saw you,” he said. “And I’m not talking about a few days ago in the clearing. When I saw you the very first time, bathing in the stream, the weirdest thing happened.”
He raked both hands through his hair, shaking his head and wearing a look of wonder.
“Nothing like it had ever happened in my life. A voice inside my head said, ‘Mine.’ Just as clear as if Zee had been standing next to me and said it, but I was alone. Then when you came back here to the forest, I knew it was no accident. It wasn’t a coincidence. It was meant to be. That voice was telling the truth.”
My heart shivered like a leaf in the wind, and my breathing definitely wasn’t normal.
“So you’ve felt that way this whole time? You wanted me to be… yours?”
He nodded. “I knew the Trials would have to happen. I told myself I couldn’t compete. I was going to let the games happen, obey the rules, let someone else win you, and make myself let you go to keep peace and order around here. Well… you see how that turned out.”
He laughed at himself. “I think I would have thrown my hat into the ring at the last minute even if Speck hadn’t been in the winners’ circle. It was inevitable. I just couldn’t let someone else have you.”
“Elias,” I whispered, tingling all over with amazement and some other warm and fluttery feeling I couldn’t quite identify. “I don’t know what to say.”
He gave me a wry smile and extended his hand as he’d done during the Choosing.
“Say you’ll accept me as your champion—and mean it this time.”
Now I returned his smile. “Yes. I accept you as my champion, Elias.”
His smile became even more brilliant. He placed a hand on either side of my head, bracketing my pillow.
Slowly, he leaned forward until his upper body hovered above my chest and his face was over mine.
“Now… say I can kiss you,” he whispered.
