Lamb awoke just as dawn was lightening the sky. It was still early, the light vague and shadowy in the room. She glanced at the clock. Five in the morning. Then she remembered where she was.
She glanced behind her. Azriel lay with an arm draped loosely over her body, not pinning her in place or anything, just in a casual possession that made her want to smile with happiness. Unfortunately, she knew this was the very height of stupidity on her part. How could she possibly have done this a second time? Sure, he’d said he wasn’t married and didn’t have a relationship with anyone, but how much did she believe? And was that even the point? No matter what kind of bullshit she’d fed herself the night before, sex with Azriel could only end in heartache for her.
And the stuff he’d fed her during sex? Did she really believe he was going to stay with her after this weekend? She wanted to, but Lamb knew better. No. This was bad judgment run amok if ever she saw it.
Carefully, doing her best not to wake Azriel, Lamb slipped from under his arm and out of bed. She was naked so hurrying out wasn’t an option. She had to at least find her bag and the change of clothes she kept there. She’d get the rest of her stuff later. Or not. The only thing she was worried about right this second, was getting out of this bungalow and back to the mainland. From there, she’d have to rent a car or something to get back to Rockwell. An unscheduled flight would not only cost her an arm and a leg, but would probably be impossible to find. She could do this, though. Leave this paradise. And Azriel.
She tugged on clean underwear and snagged a clean change of clothes from her open suitcase. She’d just started to tug on her pants when she heard Azriel stirring in the bed.
“Lamb?” He sounded sleepy and confused. “Lamb? You OK?”
“I’m fine,” she said, trying to sound cheerful. “I just thought it might be better if I go on home.” It took every ounce of effort she had to keep the tears at bay. Thinking about leaving and actually telling Azriel she was leaving was harder than she suspected it would be. Leaving James had been a little wistful, but it hadn’t filled her with such sadness. Like she was leaving part of herself behind. She’d known she hadn’t loved James, but she’d thought she’d had pretty strong feelings for him. Now, she realized what she’d felt for him had been nothing. Not when compared to what Azriel had brought to life inside her in such a short period of time. He was completely off-limits. Yet here they were.
“What? Why would you think that?”
She thought about lying. Telling him she had forgotten a meeting or something, but she could never lie worth a damn. She could deflect and dodge, but she couldn’t seem to actually lie. Maybe that was why she hated being lied to so much.
“I guess the harsh light of day made me realize what a horribly bad idea this was.”
“It wasn’t a bad idea, Lamb.” Still lying in the bed, the sheet over his body and one leg bent and out from under the cover, he reached out a hand for her. “Please don’t leave me.”
Had he phrased it any other way, had he demanded she stay with him, she might have been able to hold the course she knew she needed to be on. But he’d said, “Please don’t leave me.” Like she was important to him. Like he was the one who would be hurt if she didn’t stay.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she managed to whisper, looking down at her feet. She wasn’t dressed, but she at least had a T-shirt covering her. “I — I don’t belong here.”
“I know,” he said, scrubbing the hand he’d been reaching for her with over his tired face. “You don’t belong here, but it was the safest place. It’s not so bad, though.” He looked around and winced. “Little small. Not nearly what you deserve.”
“That’s not what I meant, Azriel.”
He sat up, swinging his legs over to sit on the side of the bed. “I know what you mean, Lamb, and you couldn’t be more wrong. More than any person I know, other than Merrily and her daughter, Bellarose, you belong in my world. Hell, the three of us, my brothers, we don’t deserve the good fortunes we have, but we hold on to them ruthlessly. Alex found the woman who means everything to him in Merrily. If he hadn’t had all the wealth he does, she wouldn’t have all the things he can give her.” Once again, he held out his hand to her. “I want to be that for you, Lamb.”
She sighed. “I don’t want all that. I just…” She swallowed. “I just want something… I don’t know. Something real. Nothing about this situation or you is real for me, Azriel.”
He dropped his hand, scrubbing the other one over his face. “It’s real, baby. I swear to you, what I feel for you is so fucking real it hurts. Just give me a chance to prove it to you. Just one chance. It’s all I’m asking. It’s all I’m begging…”
Azriel looked at her with such pain and longing in his eyes, on his face, Lamb found herself taking a step toward him before she even realized it. Somehow, she managed to stop herself from taking another.
“You’re my doom,” she whispered. “Nothing can come of this but heartache for me. I might enjoy myself, might fall completely in love with you. I know I’ll enjoy every second, and that’s the whole problem. It will make the ending that much more painful.” She clutched one fist to her chest. “It already hurts, Azriel.” She was mortified when she realized tears were tracking slowly from her eyes down her cheeks.
“I need you, Lamb,” he admitted, looking at her with a kind of dark possession. He hadn’t changed his tone or his expression, but there was something there that hadn’t been before. Lamb knew in that moment he wasn’t letting her go. She might run. Might even make it back to Rockwell, but Azriel would be there. Waiting on her when she arrived. Then she recognized the relief blossoming inside her. She didn’t want to leave him. It was so different than when she’d left James in the Keys. She’d thought about their time together fondly on her drive home. If she left Azriel, it was quite possible she wouldn’t make it home. Hell, she probably wouldn’t make it past the pier. The next thing she knew, she’d find herself on a beeline right back into Azriel’s arms.
“I made a fool out of myself once. With James. It was a little place much like this in the Florida Keys. He made me think he felt something for me, though he never outright said anything to the effect. He didn’t give me a way to contact him or promise we’d always be together or any bullshit line. Just told me how he loved being with me. That I was intelligent and hardworking. That he hoped we could become very good friends. Even said he hoped that, when my time at Argent was done, I would consider working for the company he used to run. Rush Developments. When I left the Key and him behind, I had no regrets.”
She swallowed, blinking back another tear, determined not to let any more fall. Especially not because of James Luxemberry. “When I saw him again at the party, I was happy. I thought maybe we’d have a chance to work out a relationship between us. No matter the age difference, I really thought there was a shot. Older men like younger women. Right? But not five seconds after I inserted myself back into his life, he introduced me to his wife. The betrayal, more than anything, hurt me. I didn’t care about James. Only had an infatuation with him. He had money, power, and even though those things didn’t matter to me, the way he wore them did. His charisma drew me to him, much like you do.”
She took a breath. “Finding out I was sleeping with a married man was only part of the reason I felt betrayed. He made me believe I was special. Being singled out by a man like that was thrilling, I’ll admit. Finding out he was just using me for sex made the whole week feel slimy and dirty. I promised myself I’d never feel that way again. So, if sex is all you’re after, just tell me now. I can deal with it and accept it. But I can’t let you make me feel like I mean something to you only to find out I’m a means to an end and disposable afterward. It made me angry with James. With you, it would shatter me.”
There. She’d said it. It probably made her look weak and definitely made him aware how susceptible she was to him, but she had to lay it all out. In her heart, she didn’t believe Azriel was the type of man to intentionally hurt an innocent, especially not a woman. He might be brutal to his enemies, but not to people who had never done anything to him or his.
“I understand, little Lamb. Now, please. Don’t make me beg a second time. I’m not sure my fragile pride could take it.”
There it was. His humor. The one thing that could make up her mind and ease the tension between them in only a few simple words. How could any woman resist him? She knew the answer to that without even thinking. They couldn’t. At least, she couldn’t.
With a sigh, Lamb walked back to him, taking the hand he offered the third time. Azriel moved her hand around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her middle and buried his face in her belly. For long moments, they didn’t move. Lamb rested her cheek on the top of his head while he clung to her just as tightly as she did to him. This had been her chance. Her one chance to make a clean break and deal with her emotional fallout. It would have been hard. She’d have cried herself into an exhausted stupor, but it would have been over in a few weeks. Maybe. Now, she knew she was throwing herself into whatever Azriel had planned for her. She could never get this close again. Not and keep her heart somewhat intact.
After what had to be a full minute, Azriel moved. He pulled off her shirt and slid her panties down her thighs. Once she was as naked as she was, he pulled her to straddle him on the bed. Tangling his fingers in her hair, he pulled her to him gently to kiss her. The taste of his kiss never ceased to thrill her. It was a combination of wild man and sinful sex. She didn’t fool herself into thinking there was love in there. She wasn’t entirely sure the man was capable of it. Given the string of broken hearts all over the country — according to the tabloids — she doubted it.
There was also possession. The more she kissed him, the more she tasted it. For some reason he’d fixated on her for the time being. How long remained to be seen, but Lamb knew there was no point fighting it. Men like Azriel always got what they wanted.
* * *
The next three weeks were the busiest, fastest, and most exciting of Lamb’s life. Not only was she brought in on several more projects, but Azriel was rapidly becoming an obsession. He came to her tiny office every afternoon and insisted she leave with him. Then he took her to dinner. Sometimes he took her out on the town. Sometimes they stayed in. Didn’t matter at which of their places they stayed. Sex was always involved. Heavily. A few times, Lamb cooked for him. He always loved it when she made dessert. She loved it when he made dessert. Out of her.
Life as she knew it was the best she’d ever known. The only thing that marred her happiness was James Luxemberry. He still tried to contact her. Never when Azriel was around, so not often. But he was determined to accomplish something. Lamb just didn’t know what.
Today was the first day Azriel hadn’t picked her up at her office. He’d stopped by earlier in the afternoon to tell her he had a meeting that would last late, but he’d call her afterward. She found she was actually relieved at the same time she was disappointed. She was beginning to feel more for Azriel than she should, which was dangerous for her heart. No matter how he reassured her, there was still a little niggling of doubt. Something that tickled at the back of her mind saying there was more going on that she knew.
With Azriel not with her, she was free to run some errands, the most pressing of which was going to the grocery store. When she cooked for Azriel, she only let him buy what she needed for the meal, though he’d sometimes slipped things into the cart he’d noticed she was out of. Or, rather, had the delivery boy slip it in. This time, she was free to go in and do her own shopping. Strange that she found she’d missed it when she used to hate it. Probably was the fact that Azriel hadn’t let her spend a penny of her own money since they’d started seeing each other. She didn’t have to be so careful with every choice.
She was loading her groceries when a sleek little Jaguar rolled up to park directly behind her in the parking lot. Even if she could get inside her car before he hopped out of his, she was blocked in.
“Lamb!” He called to her as he hurried around the front of the little sports car. “Lamb!” When he reached her, he gave her that megawatt smile of his, opening his arms like he fully expected her to step into them. Lamb pulled her shopping cart solidly in between them.
“What do you want?”
“Come now, my love. Is that any way to treat an old friend?”
“When did we become friends? We fucked. We parted ways. No one had expectations we’d continue. Besides, that ship sailed when I found out you were married. I can’t be your friend without your wife getting hurt, and she’s innocent in that business.”
He waved her argument away. “I already told you she and I have an open marriage.”
“Well, my relationship isn’t so ‘open.’ So, I need you to leave.”
“Relationship? With Azriel Ivanovich?” James grinned at her, his smile full of pity. “Sweet girl, don’t you know he eats young little things like you for breakfast? I’m not sure what he’s doing or what he’s told you, but, rest assured, he has a reason for it, and it isn’t love.”
“I never said I was in love with him, or that he was in love with me. We have merely enjoyed each other’s company.”
“Like there’s no sex involved. I realize I’m not the greatest lover in the world, but surely he hasn’t completely blinded you with sex.”
It was quite possible he had. Lamb found herself more and more relaxed with Azriel every day, letting her guard down when she never had before. Not that she was going to admit it to James.
“I’m well aware I’m not the kind of woman men like him settle down with. Or men like you. But I am, after all, human. I have needs. So does he. He scratches my back. I scratch his. Only he’s not married or involved with another woman.”
“That you know of,” James countered. “You can’t tell me you’ve spent every single minute with him, because I won’t believe it. Does he act secretive? Insist he has places to go without you?”
“We’re not married. He can go wherever he wants. So can I. Sometimes we go together, other times we don’t. I don’t see your point.”
“I just hope you realize you can’t trust him.” He tried to look like he had her well-being at heart, but Lamb knew better.
“Any more than I can trust you?”
For long moments both of them just stared at each other. Lamb saw a myriad of emotions cross his face. Aggravation. Frustration. Anger.
“You’re really not going to believe me, are you? I have to say, Lamb, I thought you were more intelligent than this. I thought you’d see through even the great Azriel Ivanovich. I can tell you’re starstruck, though. If you’re looking to score his money, you won’t.”
“Why does everyone insist I must be out for the money? Didn’t land one fish, I must have moved on to a bigger fish. Why can’t you just accept the fact that maybe I just want to be with someone I can relate to. Not in lifestyle, but intellect. I’m not saying I’m as smart as a man like him or you. But I can hold my own, and I know my field of study.”
“I’m fully aware you do, my love. That’s one of the reasons I’m here. I want to offer you a job with Rush Developments.”
“You know I’m contractually obligated to offer Argent first refusal.”
“We can buy out your contract.”
“And be locked in to Rush for the rest of my career? I don’t think Azriel would make me stay anywhere I didn’t want to be, but if he tried to and I left like that, he could blackball me anywhere else I wanted to go.”
He grinned like he’d finally proven a point. When Lamb just stood there, he pointed at her. “When did he become Azriel instead of Mr. Ivanovich?”
“When I started having sex with him? I’m sorry you don’t approve, but I didn’t ask your permission!”
“Which brings me to the second reason for my visit.” He tried to move the shopping cart away, but Lamb held it fast. Finally he just sighed. “I want you to come home with me, my love. I can’t get you out of my head. You got to me body and soul. Whatever Azriel Ivanovich is giving you, I swear I’ll do anything in my power to do for you, too. Sexual or material. I don’t care. If you need something, I’ll figure out a way to provide it for you.”
Lamb couldn’t believe this. “Why? Why are you doing this? And nothing changes the fact that you’re still married! Or that you lied to me! What the hell, James?”
“I just don’t want you to make a mistake with a man like Azriel. He’s… not right for you.”
“Oh, and I suppose you are.”
“I’ve never claimed to be, but I’ll be better for you than he will.”
“Not from where I’m sitting, James. Does he have secrets? Yes. I’m fully aware, and I make a point not to discuss work with him because I don’t want him to have to lie to me because I’m being nosey. As to the implication that we’re together for the long haul? I won’t deny that I really like him. I might even feel more for him than even a deep friendship. I have no idea if I love him or if he loves me, but that’s for us to figure out. If he’s really stringing me along, he’ll eventually tell me to get lost. So, yes. I know what I’ve gotten myself into. I also know that I’m not throwing it away because you say I should. You’ve already proven you’ll lie if it suits your needs. While I have no doubt Azriel is capable of lying if it suits him, I’ve not caught him in one. Until that time, I’m going to continue to believe in him because of what I feel for him.”
Lamb closed her eyes and took several calming breaths. The more she let escape, the more ammunition James had and the more she realized just exactly how much Azriel meant to her. When she had herself better under control, she opened her eyes. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her phone and hit the one-touch dial for Azriel. With the phone on speaker, she heard the ringing line. James heard it, too. His eyes narrowed.
“If he’s in a meeting, like you say, he won’t answer.”
“Maybe not. But I can leave a voice message and he will get back to me.”
Just when Lamb thought the phone would go to voicemail, it was answered. There were some men talking in the background in what sounded like a heated discussion, but she couldn’t make out the words. Then the noises faded, and she heard the faint closing of a door.
“Sorry about that, little Lamb.” Azriel’s voice was comforting to her. Lamb’s knees nearly buckled she was so relieved. “Is everything all right?”
“I — yes. No! I mean…” Lamb started trembling. James was unnerving her more than he should, but the look in his eyes now promised retaliation. If she told Azriel, she had no idea what he would do. She didn’t want to really cause James trouble, but she also wanted to know what Azriel’s reaction was. Would he be angry at James? At her? Would he ask her what she wanted him to do about it? Would he give a damn? “I’m at the grocery. James has me blocked in with his car and is between me and the driver’s side of my car. I have a shopping cart between us. I don’t exactly feel threatened –”
“I’m on the way. Sean should be there in less than three minutes. Do not close this connection. Am I on speaker?”
It was James who spoke. “You are, Azriel. I’m in the process of making Miss Newsome an offer she can’t refuse.”
“Keep talking, James. Sean will be there before I will so, by all means, keep talking.”
“Are you threatening me? Because your girl here isn’t the only one with a phone.”
“I never threaten, James.”
Tires squealed in the distance, and Lamb saw a car speeding up the back of the parking lot in their direction. It turned down their aisle and came to a screeching halt. Sean stepped from the vehicle, a gun in his hand aimed at James. Not wanting to get caught in the crossfire, and not wanting to give James anything to hide behind, she stepped backward away from the shopping cart and toward the Rolls-Royce where Sean stood.
“Put the car between you and Mr. Luxemberry, Miss Newsome.” Sean’s voice was quiet and calm. “Mr. Ivanovich will be here in another three minutes.”
“How did you get here so quickly?”
“He’s got your car tracked, my love,” James said, his arms up and away from his body. Obviously he wasn’t giving up on her. “I told you, he’s using you for something. There’s no need to be loyal to him when it’s obvious he’s got more up his sleeve than simply showing you a good time.”
“Be that as it may, I’m not going anywhere with you. Not now. Not ever.”
“Be very careful what you decide in the heat of the moment, Lamb.” There was something in James’s expression that sent a chill through Lamb straight to her bones. “I’m offering you a chance at a top-level position at one of the leading technological companies in the world. If you stay at Argent, your talents will be underutilized, and you’ll be used for your mind and not given the proper recognition.”
“Not interested,” she said without hesitation.
“Why do you trust him so readily?” Now James looked furious. Sounded it, too. “He’s using you!”
“And what’s your motivation? I’m not qualified for a top-level position. What’s your motivation for putting me there?”
Just as James opened his mouth to answer, another car came screaming around the bend just out of sight. Soon after, though, the car could be seen along the same path Sean had taken. James swore under his breath and hurried around to the driver’s side of his car.
“I’ll be seeing you again, Lamb. Next time, have the right answer.” Then he slid inside, slammed the door, and sped off.
Azriel’s sleek little Aston Martin screeched to a halt just behind the Rolls. Azriel stormed out of the car, his own gun in hand. He moved straight to Lamb, but his eyes were on the retreating form of Luxemberry’s car.
“Did he hurt you, Lamb?”
“No,” she said softly. Lamb didn’t hesitate to go into his arms when he reached for her. He kissed the top of her head, his gun still at his side in his free hand.
“Sean, get someone to take Miss Newsome’s car back to her apartment.”
“I’ll see to it, sir.”
“I’m perfectly fine, Azriel. I have groceries in the trunk.”
“I’ll see to those as well, sir,” Sean answered before Azriel could give him more instructions. Lamb didn’t offer her key and Sean didn’t ask. Which meant he had a way into her apartment. It wasn’t really surprising since Argent owned the building, but it did lend credence to what James had said.
“Are you keeping tabs on me, Azriel?” she asked in a small voice. “How did you know where I was?”
“Honey, you know I’m keeping tabs on you. I’ve not been secret about my interest in you, and we’ve been all over the city together.” He didn’t hesitate at all in answering her question. “I put a tracker on your car and your phone. That way, if something like this happened, or if one of my enemies got to you, I’d know where you were.”
“Oh. I never thought of that.”
“Of course you didn’t, baby. That’s what I’m for. You’re coming home with me tonight. No arguments.”
She didn’t want to argue. Same as she didn’t want to believe anything James had said. But he’d planted the seed of doubt, and her imagination was very fertile.
The ride back home was quiet. Azriel held her hand the entire way, only moving when he had to shift gears. When they reached his house, he escorted her inside. She knew the place well, having been there several times, and he’d given her free rein to explore. Mrs. McDonald met them at the entrance to the pool area with a smile.
“Mr. Ivanovich, the pool is yours. You and Miss Newsome won’t be disturbed. So good to see you again, dear,” she addressed Lamb. “I look forward to you being here more often.” The older lady patted her cheek in a motherly kind of way before taking her leave.
“I think we need a soak and to relax a bit.” Azriel held the door open for her before taking her hand and leading her to the hot tub. It was half in, half out of the room, with the outside part truly being outside among plants and a furnished patio. Along the back side of the area was a bar. Lamb longed for a glass of wine, but didn’t say anything.
Azriel pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as he rested his chin on her head. “How close did I come to losing you today? Is James about to win you over?”
She stiffened, then pulled back to look up at him. “Azriel, James is a swine. He offered me a ‘top-level position’ at Rush. I’m not qualified nor am I interested in anything like that. Also, I’m not interested in being his mistress or whatever other arrangement he has in mind for me on a personal level. If you lose me, it won’t be to that sorry bastard.”
“I’d think a top-level position would be tempting, even if you weren’t qualified.”
“I also signed a contract with Argent. You guys are holding up your end admirably. I’m learning so much, and everyone has gone out of their way to make me feel like one of the family. I don’t go back on my word, no matter how much I don’t want to. With Argent, the thought hasn’t crossed my mind.”
Azriel caressed her cheek gently with the backs of his fingers. “Did he tell you why he was doing all that? What he wanted from you?”
She shook her head, then frowned. “I think he might have been going to say something, but you were screaming through the parking lot and he decided to get out. But, no. He didn’t say why.”
He smiled down at her. “Get undressed and into the hot tub.”
She nodded and did as he asked. When Azriel sank behind her into the hot, bubbly water, Lamb sighed and leaned back against him. She groaned when he used his fingers and thumbs to press into the tense muscles at her neck and upper back. And when she felt his hard, thick erection pressing tightly into her back and pulsing with every moan she made, she looked back over her shoulder at Azriel and smiled.
“You want me.”
“Always, my little Lamb.”
“I want you, too.”
His smile was both gentle and carnal. “All you have to do is ask, baby. I’ll give you as much as you can handle.”
“I can handle quite a bit,” she answered, her grin growing larger.
“I had a feeling you might.”
She showed him that she could, indeed, handle what he needed to give her.
