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(Dis)content: Chapter 4


When I lifted my head from Ethan’s shoulder, I saw it was just us in the field.  The others had moved toward the cars once again.  The mountain was no longer a wolf.  He was a shirtless, angry man dressed in loose black slacks.

I stepped away from Ethan and wiped at my face.

“There’s no point to that,” he said.  “You’re a complete mess.”

I stopped wiping and gave him a look.  He grinned at me.  I almost grinned back.

“Did I hit you anywhere too hard?”

“Not too hard.  Just enough to remind me to keep up with you.”

“I’m—”

“Isabelle,” he said, stopping another apology.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and he completely ignored it to jerk a thumb over his shoulder.

“Get your butt to the car before tall and half-naked goes caveman on you and drags you there by your hair.”

I snorted at Ethan’s description of Carlos.

*    *    *    *

The car was quiet.  Now that my nose wasn’t pouring blood and my head felt less like a drum, I looked around at what we passed—fields, open plains, and occasional wooded areas.

“I apologize,” the woman said suddenly.

I glanced forward and caught her gaze in the mirror.  “For what?”

“For preventing Carlos from helping you.”

Carlos hadn’t wanted to help.  He’d wanted to hurt Ethan.  But I didn’t point that out.

“So, what exactly are you guys?”

She grinned slightly.

“I think you know.  My name is Winifred Lewis, by the way.”

“I’m Isabelle.”

I felt Ethan’s humor a moment before he closed himself off again.  His control was impressing me.  It had been too long since we’d last seen each other.

“Why did you come for me?” I asked.

“Bethi can probably explain better than I can.  However, according to what she has told us, you are one of six women with special abilities.  There is a group—Bethi called them Urbat—that is trying to find you all.  Their leader held Michelle, one of the young women riding in the car behind us, for a time.  And, according to Bethi, he has the last one of you with him.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t really answer my question.  Why did you come for me?”

“Bethi said we needed to protect you.”

I watched Winifred in the mirror and felt a wisp of some emotion from her.  It was sour like regret and anger.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“We need your help.”

My help?  I was a bruised and beaten mess.  Ethan, my best friend, was more so.  How did they think I could help them?

Ethan’s fingers threaded through mine.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“A friend has a place about an hour from here.  Gabby had been watching the area and thought we should be okay there for a few hours.  Bethi will want to talk to you,” she said, looking at me.

I nodded and glanced at Ethan.  We shared a look, and I wondered if he was hearing the faint chords of dueling banjos like I was.  They wanted to take us to a remote place to tell us why they needed me.  The words of the letter continued to play in my mind.  Were these the people the letter tried to warn me about?

I curled my right hand into a fist and winced.  My sliced palm hurt.  So did my wrist.  Ethan, still watching me, looked down at my hand.  He picked it up and started probing the wrist, somehow knowing the cut wasn’t the issue.

“Did anyone happen to grab our bags from the other car?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, no,” Winifred said.

The bags probably had my spare gloves and some wraps.  Without the gloves, I’d continue to hurt my wrist.  He and I both knew that taking a break from fighting wasn’t an option.  I’d just need to change my style.  Ethan hated kicking.

*    *    *    *

I saw the barn as soon as we pulled up.

“Oh, yeah,” I said under my breath.  Ethan and I had a new hang out.

As soon as the car stopped, I had my door open.

“I’ll be in the barn for an hour,” I said over my shoulder.

“We need to talk first,” Winifred said.

I stopped and turned back to her.  Carlos was already standing beside the car, his gaze focused on me.

“No.  There’s no way I can sit in a room with a bunch of people right now.”

The second vehicle pulled in and parked.  The door immediately opened, and the dark-haired girl jumped out.

“It’s okay, Winifred.  Let her go.”

I didn’t wait for Winifred’s permission but continued toward the barn.  Ethan was right behind me.  The structure was built into a hill, and we were at the top.  I pushed one of the double doors open and stepped into an empty hayloft.

The floorboards held firm as I walked several feet in.  Ethan’s steps scuffed behind me.

“Shirt off, handsome,” I said, turning on him.

His brows rose.

“I’m not lifting a fist until I see what I did to you the last time.”

He hesitated a moment then pulled his shirt over his head, using just his left arm.  That alone told me how badly I’d hurt him.  The blue covering his right shoulder said the rest.  I looked down at the floor for several minutes.  Ethan moved close with a sigh and gently touched the bruise on my cheek.

“It’s the price we pay.  You know that.”

“No, it’s the price I should pay.  Not you.”  I met his gaze, feeling pity for both of us.

“None of that.”  He took a step back and brought both hands up.  “Let’s go.”

Shirtless, I could at least see if I did him any more damage.

“Fine.”

We started out with a slow rhythm.  It only lasted a minute.

“Ethan, this isn’t working.  You’re blocking too slow.”

Ethan dropped his arms and rolled his shoulders.  A blast of frustration hit me.  He quickly stifled it.

“Sorry.”

“S’okay.”  But it wasn’t.  My head was starting to hurt again.  If I only had a few hours here, I had to empty myself.  Of everything.  After that, I would need a nap and probably a bag of ice for my wrist and my face and Ethan’s neck and his shoulder…

Ethan’s gaze flicked to the double doors.  Carlos stood there, arms crossed while he watched us.  I hadn’t even noticed that he’d followed.  Not only was he quiet, but the country was quiet, which meant less emotional noise to notice a void.  Plus, he was far enough away that I wouldn’t have pulled in any emotion if he’d actually projected anything.

“Hey, big and broody,” Ethan said.  “Come here.”

I smirked.  Ethan always tried to rub people the wrong way.  He was a product of his upbringing.  He didn’t make friends; he made frenemies.

Carlos walked toward us without any indication that Ethan had gotten under his skin.  And maybe Ethan hadn’t.  I certainly didn’t feel anything from Carlos.

“My shoulder’s not going to cut it.  I need you to step in.  But there are a few rules.”  As he spoke, he walked around me.  “You can’t take it easy on her.  Ever.  Got it?”

Carlos looked from Ethan to me and nodded.

“This isn’t a fight.  This is a spar.  A very fast, very intense spar.  The goal isn’t to hurt one another.”

Carlos nodded again, and I turned to grin at Ethan.  He was worried the big guy would hurt me.

“And no aiming for her face.  She doesn’t look good with bruises.”

Carlos gave another stoic nod.  I still didn’t feel anything from him.  If I didn’t feel anything, it would be a lot easier to exercise the emotions I held.  This might actually be fun.

Ethan must have been thinking the same thing.

“Go get him,” he said with a slap to my butt.

Before I could move, Carlos blurred.  One second he was standing across from us; the next, he was standing before Ethan, his hand wrapped around Ethan’s throat.  Ethan’s feet dangled in the air, and his hands flew to the fingers squeezing the oxygen from him.

Fear for Ethan made my temper snap.

“You son of a…”  I let loose on Carlos.

His kidneys were my punching bags.  I hit hard and managed five rapid blows to each before he dropped Ethan and turned on me.  I punched him in the throat and brought him to his knees.  He wheezed and looked up at me.  I kicked him in the face.  Once.  Twice.  The third time brought him to the ground.  I straddled him and drew back, ready to remodel his face.

“Girl, that’s enough,” a voice said.  “He’s not fighting back.  He won’t.”

I looked up and saw the man with the bright grey eyes standing in the doorway.  Carlos moved ever so slightly underneath me, bringing my attention back to him.

His face was marked from the last kick.  Why did I feel guilty for that?  He’d had Ethan by the throat.

“No one touches Ethan.  Ever.  Got me?”  I punctuated my words with a poke to his very hard chest.

Carlos nodded slowly, and I rose from him.  I backed up a step and glanced at Ethan, who sat on the ground rubbing his throat.  He gave me a thumbs-up.  When I turned back to Carlos, he was standing, too.

“If he has more bruises from that, I’m coming after you.”

“I will let everyone know Ethan’s under your protection,” the grey-eyed man said.  “Though, we’re all family here, so I don’t think that’s even necessary.”

“Really?” I said.  “Was that an example of how your family treats each other?  Some family.”

“Carlos misunderstood the situation when the boy patted your backside.”

The man’s worry carried a hint of humor with it.  I didn’t find anything funny.  I glanced at Carlos.  He was so damn hard to read, but I was pretty sure he didn’t find anything funny, either.

“Ethan knows me.  He knows my limits and what I need.  There are no situations to misunderstand because when it comes to Ethan, he’s none of your business…unless he’s giving you advice about what not to do around me.  Then, you might want to listen.  He’s trying to save your lives.”

“I think they get the idea,” Ethan said.

I doubted it.  Ethan had pushed me to the edge more times than I could count with his persistent interference.  There’d been times I’d wanted to strangle him myself.  But love always stopped me.  And even when angry, I always knew, deep down, he was saving me from myself.

I turned to look Ethan over.  There were new marks on his neck.  I narrowed my eyes, and Ethan grinned at me.  He knew what I wanted to do.

The mountain would go down for those marks.

“We sparring or not?” I said, focusing on Carlos again.

He lifted his hands.  Good.  I was ready to make good on my promise.  Behind me, music started playing, and I flicked Ethan a dirty look.  If he didn’t cut it out, his body was going to hit the floor.

I turned, shifted my balance, and began.  Putting my fists up, I edged forward.  At the last minute, I kicked out and connected with Carlos’ side and thigh in rapid succession.  He tilted his head and studied me as I hopped back and guarded for his attack.  Nothing came.  Clever.  He was learning my moves.

He wouldn’t learn much, though.  I wasn’t going to keep this routine.  I darted in and clipped his jaw with my damaged hand.  He didn’t even try to block the swing.  I wanted to follow up with a swing from the other side but wasn’t sure my wrist could take it.  I would be a mess if I started to rely on my fists.

The music changed to violin pop.  I grinned.  Ethan was telling me to use my legs.  He knew.  Fine.  I shifted my balance again and went for Carlos’ head.  He let one kick through but blocked the next.  My momentum didn’t stop.  I twisted and kicked again.

When we were younger, Ethan recorded our fights so I could see how I moved.  He compared it to a dancer.  I compared it to a cat.  Either way, I moved while in the air, looking for an opening and lashing out with feet, knees, or elbows.

Carlos started to block them all.  His moves were different from Ethan’s.  Softer somehow.  It didn’t mean he was less of a fighter.  He moved incredibly fast.  There was something else to his touch each time we connected; it was like he was trying to maintain the contact, hold onto me.

Sweat trickled down my back, and I noticed a slight glisten on Carlos’ forehead.  Good.  The music changed again.

I moved faster, spinning and bending, dodging and striking.  Carlos and I moved together.  It was as if he could read my mind.  He met each move and pushed for more with his dark gaze.  Several times, I unintentionally left myself open and felt the drag of his fingers on my cheek or sides.  Was he just playing with me?

My breathing shortened from the exertion, but I didn’t slow until Ethan called for a break.  Someone had brought us water.  Ethan handed me a glass.  I knew better than to gulp it.  But I took a healthy drink.

“Can I borrow that?” Carlos said from right behind me.

I turned and saw he was looking at Ethan’s phone.

“Sure.”  Ethan handed it over, and Carlos walked away for a few moments.  When he turned back, he tossed Ethan the phone.

“Play that.”

Ethan looked at the screen, frowned for a minute, then caught my gaze and grinned.

“Back in there, kitty cat.”

I gave him my glass and turned just in time to block a quick jab from Carlos.  Why did that make me smile?

Music started behind me.  It wasn’t a song I knew, but I listened to the words as Carlos and I went through the motions.  The beat was perfect and the lyrics inviting.  He wanted me to come with him to lose myself tonight.  And I did.

The coiled tension that I hadn’t managed to fully exercise with Brick began to ease as I fought Carlos.  The relief made me smile as I kicked yet again.  Then, Carlos changed the game.  His hands closed over my ankle and held me there.  His thumb rubbed a slow circle on the exposed skin.  Something ignited in me.  It wasn’t anger.  And it scared me.

I pulled myself from his hold; and without a word, I turned and left the barn.  Though my steps were measured, I was all over the place in my head.  What the hell had he been trying to do in there?  He’d ruined a perfectly good spar, the best I’d had in a long time, by being touchy feely.  Idiot.  Hadn’t he listened to a word Ethan had said?  I breathed deeply, just a normal, human cleansing breath, and focused on my surroundings.

Outside, the light was starting to fade.  Across the yard, the three vehicles were still parked in front of a small house.  Ethan and I were stuck with these people.  We had no car to get away from them.  And, honestly, unless they proved to be a threat like those other things chasing us, I was starting to think we might be better off with them on our side.  Except for Carlos.  He’d gotten under my skin in there.

I headed in the direction of the house, glad I’d landed a few shots in the beginning that would leave a mark.  The feel of his fingers lingered on my ankle, and I began to doubt why he hadn’t landed any hits.  Like Ethan, I had a feeling Carlos hadn’t wanted to.  Something about that thought had my stomach flipping weirdly.

“Wait up,” Ethan said, jogging to catch up to me.  “I thought it was a good fight.  But you’re acting like it wasn’t.  What’s going on?”

I rolled my shoulders.  I was tense again, but not because of an overload.

“I don’t know.  I’m drained.”  In that regard, the fight with Carlos was the best match I’d ever had.  But something about him bothered me.  Probably the way my stomach was acting.  Then again, I hadn’t eaten anything after emptying it.

“I think I just need some sleep and something to eat.”

“I’ll find the food.  You see if you can find a shower.  You need it.”

I snorted and shook my head at him.

“You love my stink.”

“I do.”  He grinned and pulled open the door for me.

Everyone was in the kitchen when we walked in.  A few sat at the table but most leaned against counters or lingered in doorways.  Their anxiety, fear, and impatience made me itch as much as their sudden silence and regard.  Ethan moved close to me and threaded his fingers through mine.

“Are we interrupting something?” he asked.

“No,” Bethi said.  She sat at the table along with Luke.  His gaze flicked down to Ethan’s hand wrapped around mine.

“We’re just waiting around for Isabelle to let off enough steam so we can talk.”

I eased my hand from Ethan’s and pulled out a chair.

“The steam’s been vented.  So talk.”  I sat.  Ethan stood behind me.

Bethi glanced around the room.

“We should probably start with introductions and the basics.”

“Sounds pretty smart,” I said.  I didn’t quite manage to keep the sarcasm from my voice, and the man next to Bethi narrowed his eyes.

“How’s the face, ginger?” I asked him.

Bethi reached over and laid a hand on his leg.

“This is Luke.  My Mate,” she said, watching me closely as if waiting for a reaction.

“I have a feeling you’re not using an English term for friend.”

“No.  I’m not.  Most of the people in this room are werewolves.  A few of us are like you.  Gifted humans.”

“Gifted?  I’d like to return mine.  It sucks.”

She actually smiled at me instead of being offended.

“Mine, too.  I die just about every night.  Fun stuff.”

It sounded anything but fun.

“Anyway, to your right is Jim.”

I looked at the man she indicated, and he nodded.

“Then, Thomas, Charlene, Michelle, Emmitt, Winifred,” she turned to her left, “and Sam.  Gabby and Clay are upstairs.”

“She’s still out?”

Bethi nodded but didn’t say more about them.

“Behind you are Carlos and Grey.”

I turned and eyed the older man.  Everything about him matched his name from his hair to his eyes.

“Grey,” I said.  “Your name I’ll remember.  The rest of you might need nametags for a while.  So, why am I here?”

“Because you’re one of six Judgements.  We’re here to keep the balance between three races.  Humans, werewolves, and Urbat.  Urbat are the ones you met in the hotel room.”

“Okay.  Sure,” I said.  Ethan and I needed to ditch this crazy as soon as—

“I know you don’t believe any of this.  I didn’t either.  Not until I started having the dreams.  I’ve dreamt of our past lives, some so long ago we still wore animal-skin clothes.  Isabelle, I’ve already started dreaming details of our current lives.  I saw the day you and Ethan met on the playground.  I saw you walk him home the day he came to school with a black eye.  I saw you cry when you brought his father to the floor.”

My mouth hung open.  No one knew about that.  Even Ethan’s dad didn’t remember what happened that day.  I’d drained him hard, broken him.

“I’ve been in your skin, felt how tight and angry you get.  I’ve cringed with you over the bruises you gave Ethan when you sparred as children.  And I’ve felt the shame you carried in the belief that you were as bad as his father was.”

“That’s enough,” Ethan said.  He sounded angry, but he was keeping it in so I didn’t feel it.  He gave my hair a gentle tug.  “She’s way prettier than my dad.  A better fighter, too.”

Great.  Now I’d have to listen to him lecture me about how I wasn’t anything like his father.

“Fine.  You dream, I suck emotions. Which one levitates?”

Bethi smirked.

“Michelle is the lotto.  She has premonitions that make other people rich.”

“Why couldn’t I get that one?” I said, looking back at Ethan.

“It’s no picnic,” Michelle said, drawing my attention.  “If I don’t share the information, it’s very painful.”

“Imagine putting your brain in a microwave,” Bethi said.  “It sucks, too.  Gabby can see us in her head.  Like an old sonar.  And Charlene can control people with her mind.”

I swiveled in my chair and stared at the blonde woman.

“If that’s true, control me.  Make me stop absorbing everything.”

She looked troubled.

“I’m sorry.  I can’t.  We’re not like normal humans.  Ethan I could control easily—”

“Hey,” he said indignantly.

“—but we’re different.  Just like the werewolves are different.”

Bethi heaved a sigh, and I felt her impatience.

“The five of us make up Strength, Hope, Prosperity, Wisdom, and Peace.”

I stared at her.  I could buy that she somehow saw our pasts, but the rest?  No way.

“Do I look like I eat bullcrap with a spoon?  What are you on?  Seriously.  I want some.”

“She’s as bad as you are,” Luke said to Bethi.

Bethi grinned at him before focusing on me again.

“I wish I was on something.  It might make some of my nights a little easier to bear.  You asked why you’re here.  You’re here because all six of us need to be together to pass Judgement on the races and end this cycle.”

“Cycle?”

“We’re reborn every one thousand years,” she said as if it were an inconsequential point.  “Isabelle, I think ending this cycle will turn off our abilities.  Completely.”

Now she had my attention.  The idea of walking into a room full of people and feeling absolutely nothing…hell, yes.  Maybe they were crazy.  But she knew things no one could know.  And I’d seen the way the werewolves and Urbat could change from man to dog.  There was at least some truth to this craziness.  And if there was some truth, why couldn’t getting rid of our crappy gifts be true, too?

“All right.  I’m in.”

“Just like that?” she asked.

“Just like that.”  I stood.  “I need a shower.  Can anyone point me in the right direction?”

“To the left, down the hall,” Carlos said from behind me.

I nodded and glanced at Ethan.  Though I was willing to go along with them on the chance of getting rid of what I could do, I didn’t trust them.  Especially not with Ethan.

He gave me a slight shake of his head then turned to look at Carlos and Grey.

“Got any food around here?”

He always thought he was so tough.  He was.  But these people were tougher.

I looked at Bethi.  She watched me closely.

“Go,” she said.  “Shower.  Everything will be fine for five minutes, I think.”

I went down the hall.

*    *    *    *

The hot water felt great as I washed and rinsed.  I’d even brushed my teeth with a new toothbrush I’d found in the medicine cabinet before getting in the shower.  It’d been long overdue.  I felt fresh and, despite the emotions from those down the hall, tension free as I turned off the water.  A towel hung on the bar toward the back of the tub.  I grabbed it and dried off.  Too bad I’d have to put my dirty clothes back on.  I regretted that we hadn’t had time to grab our bags.

When I stepped out of the tub, I found a full set of clean clothes on the toilet seat.  I hadn’t even heard the door open.  I stared at the jeans.  They weren’t mine.  I tended to avoid jeans because they never fit my butt right.

With a sigh, I tried to put them on.  It wasn’t going to happen.  I tossed the jeans aside then put on the shirt and underthings.  I didn’t care if they were someone else’s.  They were clean.

Skipping any form of pants, I opened the bathroom door and squeaked at the sight of Carlos leaning against the opposite wall.

“Creep much?” I said, taking in his crossed, bulging arms.

He appeared completely relaxed as he gazed at my bare legs.

“Jeans didn’t fit?”

His slow, deep words made my middle mushy.  I didn’t do mushy.

“Obviously not.”

“I’ll see if I can find something else,” he said, straightening.  “Stay here.”

He walked down the hall toward the kitchen.

I couldn’t believe he’d just told me to stay.  Did I look like a dog?

I started following him, then stopped at the base of a narrow staircase.  Grief and worry pulled at me.  Sighing, I moved up the stairs into a loft with a slanted ceiling on both sides.

Clay sat on the bed, his back leaned against the headboard.  In his lap, he cradled Gabby.  He didn’t look up as I approached or as I sat on the edge of the bed.

“When I came to, she had my head in her lap.  She was stroking my hair like my mom used to do before I broke her.  It was dark in the van.  I could feel we were moving, driving further away from help.  I felt Gabby’s fear and her barely contained panic.  Not far away, I felt the pitiless lust and eager aggression of the men who drove.”

Clay finally looked up at me.

“I’m so sorry for what I did to her.  But what they would have done…”

“I know,” he said.

“If there would have been another way, I would have taken it.”

He nodded and looked back down at her.  I felt his love.

“Give her a few more hours.  She’s sleeping off the best high of her life.”  I stood.  “And when she comes to, keep her away from me.  I’m crack.  Highly addictive.”

He nodded but didn’t take his eyes from her.  I went back to the stairs.  At the bottom, Carlos waited with a pair of black leggings.

“Perfect.  Thanks,” I said, reaching for them.  He gave them up, and I went back into the bathroom.  Walking around without pants didn’t bother me.  But the idea of being in the open and unstable while putting on pants did.

The hallway was empty when I opened the door again, so I veered for the kitchen.  The same group of people still waited.  Only this time there was a sandwich on the table right in front of an open chair.  I sat and, without asking if the food was mine, dug in.

A sandwich had never tasted so good.  After I swallowed several bites, I figured everyone staring at me wanted conversation.  So I gave in.

“How long are we staying here?”

“It’s not safe to move until Gabby’s awake,” Bethi said.  “But, for all we know, the Urbat could be closing in around us now.”

That wasn’t very reassuring.

“We should be fine,” Winifred said.  Her words lacked conviction.

“If you need her awake, wake her up,” I said.  “A good slap will do the trick.  However, she’ll still be loopy.”

There were two seconds of stunned silence.  I used the time to take another bite.

“Clay can hear you and doesn’t appreciate your advice,” Sam said.  “Neither do I.”

I paused my chewing at the wave of irritation and glanced at Sam’s surly expression.  I definitely felt like the unwanted stepchild.  I stood up and grabbed my sandwich, even though I didn’t want it anymore.

“I’ll be outside.”

Ethan moved to follow me, and I didn’t stop him.  We walked to the barn.

“Keep eating, Z.  They don’t know you.  They don’t understand.”

“Understand what?” I said, hating that he knew I’d lost my appetite.

“How much it’s killing you that you knocked the girl out like that.”

“Whatever.”  I took a bite and chewed.

“They don’t all hate you, you know.  Bethi seems to like you.  And I think that big guy does, too.”

I gave Ethan a dirty look.

“What?  As soon as you disappeared down the hall, he started asking the girls if they had something clean you could wear.  Although, maybe it wasn’t consideration for you as much as consideration for us.  You smelled like puke.”

I shook my head and let out a laugh.

“You’re ridiculous.”

The barn door was still open, and someone had opened the door on the other side.  We went to the opening and sat on the floor.  My feet dangled over the edge as I looked out over the barren fields.  Sunset was painting them gold and orange.

“I know I’m not like your dad,” I said after a few minutes.  “I just hate seeing you hurt.”

“And that’s why you’re not like him.  He could care less if I was hurt.”

“So, you going to tell me when you learned to close yourself off like that?” I said, changing the subject to avoid a lecture.

He grinned at me.  “Since the last time you came to the bar.”

“Does it bother you?”

“It’s not like I’m holding my breath.  I’m just keeping tight control of what I’m letting myself feel.”

“Hmm,” I said with a frown.  “I was going to say that I liked it, but it sounds a little cold.”

He shook his head and looked out over the fields.  “I guess it could sound that way.  But how can anything be cold when it’s done to protect someone you love?”

I studied his profile for a minute and then leaned over to rest my head on his good shoulder.  Behind us, the yard light flickered on.

“When this is all done, maybe you won’t need to turn yourself off.  I hope Bethi’s right and whatever’s wrong with me will go away.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”  He wrapped an arm around my back and kissed the top of my head.  His love for me leaked out just a bit, but I didn’t comment on it.


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