God, do I feel like shit.
Every muscle in my body aches and every smell makes me gag.
“Si, I’ve made you a smoothie Keller left the recipe for. I’m under strict instructions to make sure you at least try to drink this. I’ve added extra strawberries, so it doesn’t taste rank,” Maddie says as she hands me a God awful thick browny green gloopy concoction. It actually looks worse than the one Keller makes. Great.
I swallow down the bile that creeps up my throat just looking at it. Covering my mouth with my hand, I shake my head at her. If I open my mouth to reply, I’m positive I will throw the small amount that remains in my stomach up all over her.
She gives me a sad smile, places the devil juice on the floor, and crouches down to my level, softly stroking my hair.
“Si, I’ve never seen you so sick. How long have you had this bug for now?”
“I-I don’t know, feels like a lifetime,” I croak out.
She pinches her features together. I can almost hear her brain ticking as she thinks.
“When was the last time you had a period? Jenny at work was just like this when she was really early pregnant with little Bobby. She could barely even stomach water without throwing it back up.”
The blood drains from my face as I start to think back to when I last had a period. I am on the pill, but I know I’ve missed a few on the odd occasion over the last few months. I always just took a couple the next day and thought that would cover me. I usually get excruciating period pains for days before I’m due and for the life of me, I can’t think of the last time I even had to use my hot water bottle.
Shit.
“I-I don’t know. Shit Maddie, I don’t know.”
My heart rate starts to quicken and suddenly I feel like the room is 100 degrees.
I don’t even know if Keller wants kids. Fuck, what if he thinks I’m trapping him? I told him not to use a condom. Fuck fuck fuck.
The room starts to spin. “Maddie, I don’t feel too good.”
Concern washes over her face as she jumps up to help me sit up.
“Take some deep breaths with me, Sienna. It’s just a panic attack. You’re okay, I promise. Everything’s okay. Just breathe. Focus on the breath going in and out.”
Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I breathe in for four and out for four with Maddie. After a couple of minutes, my body relaxes slightly. Passing me a glass of cold water, I take it from her with shaky hands, letting the cool liquid trickle down my throat.
“I think I should go get you some tests. Whatever the outcome, we’ve got this, okay? But you need to know one way or another. If you’re not, then I’m calling a doctor. If it’s a bug, you’ve had it far too long now.”
She’s right, I’m an adult. I can pee on a stick, easy.
“Okay.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay if I pop out for 10 minutes? I’ll just run to the shop and come straight back. If you need me, just call me.”
I nod in response and flop back down on the sofa, Enzo had to go and sort out some personal emergency, but Nico was on his way up to take over. I’m sure it will be fine.
Maddie tucks me into the fluffy comforter and hands me the TV remote after flicking it onto the news.
“Hey look, it’s a special program on Keller’s fight. You can drool over your man while I’m out.”
I let out a laugh. It hurts to do it but I can’t help it.
“Why do I need to drool over him on the screen when I have him in bed every night?” I wink at her.
“At least this bug hasn’t killed your dirty sense of humor, Si.”
With that, she grabs her coat and bag and heads out. The elevator pings as I settle in and watch my man on the screen.
Keller, the big softie, has been pandering around me like a mom for the last few days. I can tell he’s worried about me. I doubt he’s ever really had to care for someone else other than himself up to now.
I had to physically rip myself away from him this morning so he could make his flight to Vegas in time. I’m absolutely gutted that I have to miss his big fight. I promised I would make sure I was awake to watch it and cheer him on from here. He knows he has my heart no matter where we are.
Since he left two hours ago, I have already had ten texts and a phone call. I love that he is so obsessed with me, I can’t lie. It feels good to be wanted. To be loved wholly and completely for exactly who you are.
I quickly type out a reply to Keller’s latest message, asking how I am.
ME
I’m just watching your fight promo, cuddled up on the sofa. You are looking FINE in these videos, Champ.
SEX GOD KELLER
Fine is my middle name, Baby.
Shit, what is his middle name?
Another text pops up straight away.
SEX GOD KELLER
I don’t have a middle name, in case you were wondering.
ME
Phew, I was panicking, thinking I didn’t know you at all.
SEX GOD KELLER
You are the only one who knows me, really knows me.
ME
Good, let’s keep it that way.
SEX GOD KELLER
I see this bug hasn’t taken your sass away. I miss you already.
ME
Aww, my big, bad boxer boyfriend misses me.
SEX GOD KELLER
I think big bad boxer husband sounds better, don’t you think?
ME
If you are going to propose, you better think of something better than a text Champ.
In all seriousness, I would say yes in a heartbeat without even a ring. But I do draw the line at a text proposal.
SEX GOD KELLER
Oh trust me, Baby, you’ll know when I really propose to you. We’re making our way to the airstrip soon. I love you always and forever. I’ll call you when I land. xxxx
ME
Don’t make me wait too long…. I love you too Champ, my everything, always. Have a safe flight. Xxxx
Nothing could stop the grin forming on my face and the butterflies floating in my stomach. The elevator pings. I roll my eyes. Maddie must have forgotten something as per usual.
“What have you forgotten this time? You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached?” I shout.
Weird, she doesn’t respond.
Sitting myself up, I slowly pad out of our bedroom and into the living room, making my way to view the elevator.
All the air sucks from my lungs as I come face to face with him.
It’s Jamie.
There’s a murderous look in his bloodshot eyes. His face is gaunt, and ashen, and his eyes have sunken into their sockets. Gone is the well-groomed businessman. A crazed drug addict stands before me. His thin lips slide up over his teeth into a sadistic grin, and shivers race down my spine. Fear spreads through my veins. I can’t move, can’t speak. I just stare at the creature my ex-fiancé has become. He stands still, his arms slack at his sides, staring at me. His expression, though, is bloodthirsty.
“I told you I’d be back for you, Sienna.” His voice is gravelly. I barely recognize it.
“What-what do you want? How did you even get in here?” I say, attempting to sound brave, as I inch my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie, pressing the unlock button on my phone.
Jamie’s wild eyes catch my movement, and he stalks toward me surprisingly fast. I back away from him until my shoulders bounce off the wall. Shit. Almost right in front of me now, his stench of BO laced with sickly aftershave assaults my senses, making me feel nauseous. When he reaches me, he trails his nose along my cheek and inhales deeply. I hold in my breath so I don’t move. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.
“God Si, I’ve fucking missed you. I can’t wait to have you back. And this time you won’t ever be leaving me.”
He’s finally lost the fucking plot.
I try remembering Keller’s words in our self-defense sessions. God, I wish I spent more time actually practicing the moves rather than fucking him.
No, I take that back. I regret nothing.
Mustering all the strength I have left, I slam my knee up connecting with his balls. As he doubles over, I take the second of opportunity to run. My lungs squeeze as I gulp for air. My bare feet slip and squeak on the tile floor as I round the corner and heading toward the bathroom. I reach out for the round doorknob, but my fingers only brush the metal and catch air as my hair is yanked, causing my head to snap back with it.
“No more running from me, Sienna.” He’s there again, pressing up behind me, his stink making me gag. “We need you to get the message across to your boyfriend and his brother.”
We? Who the fuck?
Holding the back of my head, I try my hardest to wriggle free, clawing at his arms with my nails. He slams my forehead into the doorframe. Pain sears through my skull and stars twinkle in my vision. Tingling starts as darkness creeps in around me.
“Sleep now, my Sienna. We’ll catch up later.” I can barely hear him as the world starts to spin, and the floor rushes up to meet me.
My vision is hazy, as if someone is blowing smoke in my eyes. A sharp throbbing pain pulsates across my forehead, spreading around my temples. The sudden hit of ice cold liquid smothering my face snaps me into consciousness and instinctively I gasp for air.
A dark figure comes into view and I blink quickly, to gain some focus but it’s no use. It’s then I register the sharp pains radiating up my arms from my wrists. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end.
Oh my God! I’m tied up!
Panicking, I jerk to pull my wrists apart, almost shaking myself off the chair. I’m freezing and exposed. Oh fuck, I’m near naked too! Goosebumps spread over my skin and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying and failing to cope with the panic rising in me like bile.
Memories of Jamie smashing my head against the door frame in Keller’s apartment flood my brain and my body starts trembling.
No, no, please no.
I refuse to let him see me cry, but fear grips me tighter. I cringe and try jerking away as I feel his rough, icy fingers tuck my hair behind my ear.
“Well, well, well. Look who’s finally decided to join the party,” Jamie says, his voice dripping with malice.
My vision begins to clear as his face crowds mine. The stench of stale cigarettes almost chokes me with his mouth just inches from my nose. Looking past him, I recognize my surroundings immediately. It’s the same white kitchen counter where I caught him cheating. I’m bound to the same wooden dining chair I’d sat on for most evenings with him. Scanning the room, I spot at least seven other men all dressed in black suits with the similar slicked-back hair. They could all be related. They look so similar. All watching me and Jamie. Their faces expressionless. Similar to the men Luca brought around to Kellers not long ago.
More mafia men.
Snapping my eyes to his, I search for something, anything, to plead with the old Jamie that might be in there somewhere. But the man crouching before me is just the shell of the one I was once with. His eyes are wild and his pupils are dilated. He seems oblivious to the constant muscle tick by his temple. He just squats, and stares at me, with a sadistic grin etched on his face.
“Jamie, please.” I try to sound sincere. Deep down I want to tell him to fuck off, but I don’t want to rile him. He’s too unpredictable. We’ve underestimated him once before. Who knows how far he will take this.
He doesn’t respond, he just continues glaring at me with his crazed eyes. It’s like a scene from Insidious.
“Why are you doing this, Jamie?”
A shiny object catches my attention and my gaze flicks to his hand. The sickening realization hits me. A fucking knife. The lunatic in front of me has a knife. As if noticing my fear, he runs the cool metal along the inside of my calf. I can feel the burning sensation of bile rising in my chest again.
“I can hear your heart pounding, Sienna. Not so brave now your big bad boyfriend isn’t here to protect you. You fucking whore.” A laugh skitters out of him and scrubs the back hand across his nose.“You don’t realize what you’ve cost him, do you?”
This can’t be happening. Tears sting the back of my eyes and I shake my head in disbelief.
“Why are you doing this to him? What’s he ever done to you?” I croak out.
“It’s not just me. Your boyfriend and his God Almighty himself brother have managed to piss off the Falcones.” He tucks in his chin with an evil laugh.
“The Falcones?” My lips quiver. I’m so cold, it’s hard to speak.
“Oh. Don’t act dumb Sienna. It doesn’t suit you. They’re your boyfriend’s rivals. You know. Your hitman boyfriend? You really picked a keeper this time.” His voice drips with anger.
“I don’t understand. How does any of this involve you? You’re a corporate lawyer, for God’s sake, not part of the mob?”
He shifts uncomfortably at my questioning, and his head does a quick jerk to the left. I’ve clearly hit a nerve.
“Well,” he says, tapping the cold knife against my inner thigh, which makes me inhale sharply.
“I may have got into a little of debt with Marco Falcone. I stumbled across some illegal substances and may or may not have taken them home with me. Turns out, the mafia don’t like when you steal from them. I overheard them talking about Keller at the meet and came up with a brilliant idea, knowing that you were fucking him. ”
“This is why you’ve been stalking me, sending me burned roses and sending me all those texts?”
His eyes drop to where he’s dragging the knife point along my delicate skin.
“Well, to start with, it was just to scare you. Enough to get Keller to give me some money to pay Marco off myself. But then Marco came up with a better deal. I kidnap and kill you. That breaks Keller and then shatters the entire organization around Luca. In return, I get a lifetime supply and all my debts paid.”
The room spins as I take in Jamie’s words.
He’s going to kill me.
“You don’t have to do this, Jamie!” I sob, my chest heaving.
“What have I ever done to you to deserve this?” I know it sounds desperate, but I am. I know Keller’s not even in the same State right now. I don’t have my protector.
I’m never going to see Keller again. The realization hurts more than any of the physical pain I am in.
Jamie doesn’t respond; he merely chuckles and glides the cool metal’s razor sharp edge across my abdomen. Burning pain radiates in the wake of the knife cutting my skin. I watch in horror as a warm trickle of blood follows. God, I can’t watch but I can’t look away.
This isn’t real. Wake the fuck up Sienna!
“God, you look fucking edible in this lacy underwear. How come you never wore anything like this for me?” Jealousy is clear in his voice as his tongue sloppily trails behind the knife lapping up the blood.
He’s clearly sick in the head. I’m never going to see Keller again. He’s going to kill me. The horror of it settles in me and I shake my head vigorously.
“Keller will kill you for this,” I spit, disgusted by him. If he’s going to kill me, I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing my pain. I’m not the weak little Sienna he used to manipulate. I’m stronger now.
“Pretty hard for him to do in Vegas, don’t you think, Sienna? Do you really think we didn’t plan this? I’ve been waiting outside his penthouse for two days. Waiting for the fucker to leave. Even so, do you really think he could take on all of them?” he gestures to the men surrounding the room, watching.
He’s grinning at me now, his teeth stained red with blood. My blood. Slipping his phone from his pocket, he shoves the camera in my face.
“Smile Gorgeous. Loverboy needs to see my handy work.”
He takes me by surprise and I stare into the three small black cameras on the back of his phone. The camera clicks and he laughs to himself whilst typing and shoving the phone back in the pocket of his baggy tracksuit bottoms.
Zoning his attention straight back to me, a murderous glint flashes in his eyes as he lowers his head to mine, taking in a loud breath.
“What’s the matter Sienna, cat got your tongue? I’ve never seen you this quiet,” he says, his eyes boring into mine.
“Fuck you!” I spit out at him, saliva splattering across his face before he wipes it off in disgust.
“You fucking stupid whore!” he screams as he hikes his leg up and smashes his boot into my ribcage.
Pain shatters through me as I tumble back with the chair, bouncing off the tiled flooring and landing on my left side. I let out a scream on impact, my whole body throbbing in agony, my ears ringing so high-pitched I can barely think. All I can see is his black steel-toed boots staring back at me as I lie helpless on the floor. I try with everything I have to free my wrists and ankles of my ties, but it’s no use. They won’t budge.
It feels like everything is in slow motion as he draws his left foot back off the floor.
“NOOOO!” I scream. I scream so loud it burns my lungs. Maybe, just maybe, someone will hear me and call for help.
His foot connects with my ribcage again, and pain sears through me, burning throughout my entire body, taking my breath away. All I want to do is wrap my hands around my stomach, an overwhelming need to protect our baby, but I can’t. I can’t free my hands. That in itself is killing me.
His foot connects with my ribcage again and I’m gasping for air. All I can think about is the baby. I would have been a better mother than my own. I would have loved my baby more than life itself. Now, I’ll never get that chance.
“Please, Jamie, stop!” I manage, coughing pathetically. Each word splintering in my chest. I have to try anything to get us out of here.
“Shut the fuck up!” he shouts, lifting his boot again, this time right in front of my face. He slams his foot forward, the impact straight into my cheek.
The pain is now taking over, consuming my entire body until I can no longer take it. I can feel my life draining out of me onto the cold floor.
My only thoughts in this moment, Keller.
He provides the warmth and the love I need to slip away. I can feel a small smile on my lips as I drift off.
I just hope he knows how much I loved him.
I imagine being wrapped in his embrace until I finally feel nothing.
