What the fuck were you supposed to wear when you were having dinner with the girl you like’s family, but that family was also your best friend’s family and his dad was the closest thing you ever had to one?
I had never once worried about what I was wearing at the Ryders’, or even in general. But this felt different.
Everything felt different after kissing Emmy.
I was still having a hard time believing that what happened in my truck was real, or even that the entire day had been real. I still couldn’t get the image of her laughing in the water out of my head, or how she’d looked underneath me.
Fucked. That’s what I was: fucked.
I felt like I was going to walk into the Big House and all the Ryder boys were going to know I kissed Emmy, like someone wrote “I KISSED YOUR SISTER” on my forehead with permanent marker without me knowing.
I ended up in my least worn-out pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt. I spent thirty minutes agonizing, and this was what I came up with? Great.
I did decide to forego any sort of hat, which was a bigger decision than someone might think.
I quickly looked at my phone. It was already six fifty-four. Shit. There was no way I was going to make it on time. I might have grown up a little bit, but being on time was never going to be my strong suit.
I slid on my boots and headed out the door.
It took about fifteen minutes to get from my gravel drive to the front door of the Big House at Rebel Blue. I drove with the windows down and the music loud to drown out my thoughts.
I’d had dinner at Ryders’ house a million times.
Everything was going to be fine.
When I pulled up, I noticed Teddy’s truck was here, too. I’m sure Gus was thrilled. Wes was outside with his dog, Waylon, a big white Pyrenees. He was a marshmallow, inside and out. He was completely devoted to Wes, and he was a damn good farm dog.
“Hey, man,” Wes called.
“Hey,” I said. Waylon trotted up to me, and dropped his tennis ball at my feet. I picked it up and gave it a solid throw into the trees. He took off like a shot.
“Only ten minutes late,” Wes remarked. “Impressive.” I gave him a small smile and shrugged my shoulders. Luckily, I’d always been a man of few words, so me not talking his ear off wouldn’t be weird.
“Why aren’t you inside?”
“Dinner won’t be ready until seven-thirty, and Waylon kept whining by the door.”
“The dinner timing was on purpose, wasn’t it?” I asked. Wes just smiled. The Ryders were well-versed on Brooks Standard Time.
Gus was my best friend, but I was close to Wes, too. I fell right in the middle of their ages, so the three of us were together a lot. They were so different, though. Sometimes, it was hard to believe they were related, but one of their common denominators was how much they loved their little sister. They just showed it in different ways.
“Waylon!” Wes shouted. “Let’s go inside.” A white fluff ball darted out of the trees, and I followed Wes into the house.
When I walked in, I was immediately hit with the smell of home cooking. My mouth was already watering, and I hadn’t even seen Emmy yet.
One set of small footsteps came charging toward the front door.
“Uncle Brooks!” Riley exclaimed as she jumped into my arms. I lifted her up past my shoulders and did a little toss. She squealed with excitement.
“Hey, what about me, kid?” Wes asked. She had run right past him. I loved this kid.
“I saw you already,” Riley said. We walked toward the back of the house. Gus was setting the table and Amos was working in the kitchen. Rebel Blue had a cook, Ruby, who made breakfast and lunch for everyone on the ranch. There was a fridge and pantry that were open to the ranch hands, and they got a weekly grocery stipend since they had kitchens in their cabins. Ruby would leave dinner or leftovers for Amos, but he usually preferred to make his own. He liked to cook.
“Hey, Luke,” Amos called from the kitchen. “Glad you could come.”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” I responded. “It smells like heaven in here.”
“Smothered chicken, mashed potatoes, and veggies are coming your way.”
“I suggested a beef roast,” Gus chimed in.
“Emmy doesn’t eat red meat, though, right?” I said without thinking. Shit. Was I supposed to know that? Had I always known that? Was it weird I knew that?
“No, she doesn’t, and Gus should know that,” Amos responded. “And he should probably stop eating beef at every meal.” He shot a pointed look at Gus. “You’re getting old, and your cholesterol isn’t what it used to be.” I stifled a laugh.
“I’m thirty-four!” Gus exclaimed.
“Dad, you’re that old?” Riley said. Everyone laughed, except for Gus.
At that moment, the back slider opened and in walked Emmy. It was a good thing I was still holding Riley, because if I wasn’t, I probably would’ve dropped to my knees.
She was beautiful. I wondered if there would ever be a time where she didn’t cause my heart to go from zero to one-hundred in one second flat.
Her hair was pulled back away from her face. She was wearing an old, faded Broncos crewneck and denim shorts. I think it was the first time since she’d been home that she wasn’t wearing her boots, just a pair of sandals that she slipped off when she came through the door.
“Hey, Spud!” Amos called from the kitchen. Emmy gave him a mock salute. It took her a second to notice Riley and me, but when she did, her eyes stopped on us for just a breath too long.
I got this weird feeling in my chest when she looked at me.
Maybe I needed some fucking Tums or something.
I saw Teddy come through the slider in my peripheral, but I still had my eyes on Emmy as she gave Wes a hug. When I pulled my eyes away from her, I noticed Teddy staring at me with a smug look on her face.
This was the second time she’d caught me staring where I shouldn’t be staring: right at Emmy.
“Hey, Brooks,” Teddy said. Her tone was amused.
“Teddy.” I nodded at her.
“You look nice,” she remarked. “Any particular reason you’ve chosen to forego the ratty-ass t-shirt and hat you’re so fond of?”
Ruthless. Teddy was ruthless.
“Any particular reason you keep breaking your lifetime Rebel Blue ban?” Gus chimed in before Teddy could hurl another missile my way.
“Yeah, to murder you in your sleep.” Teddy had changed her tone to her sickly-sweet one—the one she reserved solely for insults.
“I would like to remind everyone that there are little ears present.” That was Emmy. I looked over at her. She was standing next to Wes, and she had her arms folded. Her eyes were on Teddy, and she looked like she was trying to yell at her with her brain.
Considering how close those two were, I wouldn’t be surprised if Teddy could hear her.
“Dad,” Riley started, “what’s a murder?”
“It’s a group of crows, sunshine. Like a herd of cattle, but it’s a murder of crows,” Gus responded without pausing. Damn, he was quick on his feet.
“Why is Teddy getting you crows?” Riley asked.
“Because Teddy thinks she’s funny.”
“Teddy is funny,” Riley said, her tone pretty damn matter-of-fact for a four-year-old. Everyone in the room laughed again at Gus’s expense. He looked like he had just suffered the deepest betrayal.
Amos gave a single clap from the kitchen, getting everyone’s attention. “On that note, let’s eat. Everyone come grab a dish and bring it to the table.”
I sat Riley down, and she scampered over to Amos. He gave her the salad. I started to walk over, but Emmy bumped against my shoulder. Her touch stopped me dead in my tracks. I looked down at her. She was giving me a small smile.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hey.” She linked our pinky fingers for half a second before continuing to the kitchen, stopping beside her dad, putting her palms up, and saying, “Dish me, daddio.” Amos handed her a massive bowl of mashed potatoes. Her favorite.
Apparently I’d been storing a lot more information about Emmy over the years than I thought.
We all took our regular seats at the table. I was next to Wes, who was beside Riley. Emmy was across from me, and Teddy took the spot on her right. Amos and Gus took each head of the table. It was physically impossible for me not to look at Emmy. I hoped no one noticed the goofy smiles we couldn’t help but give each other every few minutes.
We all talked for a while. Gus gave Amos some updates on a few ranch operations: estimates for baling season, which ranch hands were staying for the winter, and calving season. Wes had updates about irrigation and fences.
“Emmy,” Amos started, “how are things going at the stables? Maple all settled in?”
“Yeah, she’s good. The vet is coming over the next few weeks for everyone’s end-of-summer check up. She’s doing the boarded horses, too.”
“Anything we should be concerned about?”
“Whiskey’s skin is really dry, so I’ve preemptively started her on some high protein feed.” Whiskey belonged to Emmy’s mom. She was old but still healthy.
“Good. Anything else?”
“Nope. Brooks does a good job down there. They’re all taken care of.” It was a pretty basic compliment, but coming from Emmy, it felt like I just won a Nobel Prize.
Amos turned his attention to me. “Any other updates, Luke?”
“No, sir. The last riding lesson of the summer is on Saturday, and we’ll move them to the indoor arena in November,” I said, stumbling over the first few words.
“Good. Teddy, I trust you don’t have any updates for me?” Amos asked, making sure no one was left out of the conversation. Gus groaned at that.
“None directly related to the ranch, sir,” Teddy said with a smile. I saw Emmy hit Teddy’s leg under the table. Amos looked at both of them for a minute, obviously confused, but brushed it off.
“Alright. You all know we’re here because we’re seriously considering the addition of a guest ranch to Rebel Blue. Is anyone voting no?” The three Ryder children shook their heads.
Wes was beaming.
“Weston,” Amos said with his best ranch-owner voice, “this is your project. You owe a budget and proposal to August, Clementine, and me by the end of next week. Deal?”
“Deal,” Wes responded. You could almost see the excitement radiating off of him. Amos gave a firm nod.
“If the numbers don’t add up, we don’t do it. If they do, you’re going to be expected to carry this project from start to finish. Are you ready?”
“Yes, Dad. I’m ready.” There was no doubt in my mind Wes would blow this out of the water.
“Alright.” Amos picked up his beer. “Cheers to the Rebel Blue Guest Ranch.”
“Cheers,” everyone said as they lifted their glasses, including Riley with her grape juice.
“Hey, Teddy,” Wes started. “Do you think you could help me find someone to do the design work on the old Big House?”
“You know I design clothes, right? Not houses?”
“No shit. But you’re, like, artsy and connected and stuff. Whoever you find is going to be better than who I come up with. I want this to be unique.”
Teddy thought about it for a second. “Yeah, I actually know someone who I think could be really great for something like this. Let me reach out to her and see if she’s open. When do you want to start?”
“Barring any hiccups with my proposal”—Wes shot a pointed look at Gus—“after calving season.”
“Sounds good. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Thanks, Teddy.”
The rest of the dinner was nice. With all of the business talk out of the way, conversation flowed. After dessert, Amos’s famous peach cobbler, we migrated to the living room. Emmy and I ended up on the same couch, something that definitely did not escape Teddy’s watchful eye, and it took all of my concentration not to touch her.
When the clock in the entryway struck half past nine, Gus stood from his chair. Riley was already asleep in his arms, with hers wrapped around his neck.
“We better head out so I can get this one in her own bed. Thanks for dinner, Dad.” Amos gave Gus a handshake as Gus passed his chair and headed toward the front door.
A few minutes later, Teddy got up to go.
“Teddy, I saved some plates for your dad. They’re in the fridge. There’s enough for him and the nurse that’s helping him out tonight,” Amos said.
“Thank you, Mr. Ryder. I know he’ll appreciate it.” I didn’t know much about Teddy’s dad, but I knew he and Amos had been friends for a long time. Both of them were single dads who were just trying to make it work for their families.
“Tell him I’m going to come see him on Saturday, alright?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Wes, help Teddy get all the food out to her car.” Wes, who was laying on the floor with his cowboy hat over his face, let out a sigh and rolled himself up.
“Dramatic, much?” Emmy said with a laugh.
“I was almost asleep under there,” Wes yawned. Emmy stood up and gave Teddy a hug before she and Wes went to the kitchen and then out the front door. Teddy was saying something to him about an interior designer she knew.
“I should probably go down to my cabin, too.” Emmy gave her dad a kiss on the cheek.
“Luke, make sure Emmy gets down to her cabin, okay?” I looked at Emmy. She looked like she didn’t know how to respond to that. I didn’t either.
“Dad, it’s 500 yards,” is what she settled on.
“It’s pitch-dark outside, and I haven’t gotten around to adding some solar lights along the path. Just give your old man some peace of mind, eh? Luke doesn’t mind. Does he?”
“Not at all, sir.”
“Good,” Amos responded. Emmy had a look on her face I couldn’t place. She looked…nervous, maybe? “Have a good night, Luke. Goodnight, Spud.”
“Night, Dad.”
Emmy and I walked back to the slider. I opened it for her and she slipped out first. We walked in silence for a minute before I intertwined my fingers with hers and gave her hand a squeeze.
She squeezed my hand back.
“Did you have a good time tonight?” I asked her.
“Yeah, I did. My first family dinner back. I missed it.”
“Your dad was a ball of light tonight. I think he missed you, too.” She was silent for a second. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say?
“Can I ask you something?” she said finally.
“Shoot.”
“I feel like I need to start this with the disclaimer that I’m not asking you for anything, but what is this for you? Are you just messing around with your best friend’s little sister?” I had to work hard to not let that sting. The truth was, I didn’t know how to do this. I didn’t know how to give Emmy what she needed, or how to be in any sort of relationship. I’d never done it before.
I’d never even wanted to try, but with Emmy, everything was different.
And it scared the hell out of me.
“God, no. Emmy, I would never do that to you or think about you as someone I would just mess around with. I want to spend time with you. Okay?” I was met with silence again.
We were approaching her cabin. I could see her porch light.
She didn’t say anything until we were at her front door. “Okay,” she said softly. “I want to spend time with you, too.”
I turned to face her. “I’m serious, Emmy. I don’t know when it happened, but I like you. I like you a lot more than I fucking should, and I know we shouldn’t do this because a million things could go wrong, but you feel so right.”
She looked up at me. “Okay.”
“Good.” I put my knuckles under her chin so I could tilt her head up toward me and kiss her forehead. Emmy folded herself into my arms, and I held her for a minute. She fit in my arms like she was made for them. I’d like to think she was.
I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me, how much the past few weeks had meant to me, but I couldn’t. Not yet.
Not when I felt like this whole thing could slip away at any moment. She could wake up tomorrow and decide I was nothing more than the screwed up kid she knew, and that I wasn’t worth her time.
I didn’t even know if she was planning on staying in Meadowlark. She could drive back to Denver before I’d even known she’d gone.
And Gus could kill me if he found out about us. That could happen.
“I should get to bed,” she said. “I need to rest up before the Teddy Andersen birthday extravaganza tomorrow.” I chuckled at that, but I didn’t want to let her go.
“Teddy doesn’t do anything halfway, does she?” Emmy shook her head.
“I’ll see you on Saturday? I’m coming to Riley’s lesson.”
“Okay,” I said. I wasn’t ready for this to end. I wanted her so badly. I’d driven myself crazy not being able to be near her all night. She looked so perfect in her little denim shorts. It was like everything about her was designed to drive me crazy.
Emmy pulled away, pushed her door open, and turned back to me.
“I like you, too, Luke.” Those words hit me hard enough to knock the wind out of me. “Goodnight.”
I couldn’t untangle my tongue fast enough. “Goodnight,” I responded, but not until a few seconds after she shut the door. Nice.
I turned and started walking toward the Big House in a daze. I paused and looked up at the big Wyoming night sky. It was incredible how many stars were up there.
I couldn’t believe the universe was so big, and I got placed on this random floating rock at the same time as Clementine Ryder.
Before I even knew what I was doing, I was turning around and starting back toward Emmy’s cabin as fast as I could.
I wanted her, and I’d be damned if I was going to let her get away from me.
