I rolled my truck into Teddy’s driveway around four in the afternoon. I had strict instructions to not bring any “going out” clothes for later, which meant Teddy already had something in mind and she would not be deterred.
Teddy loved to make clothes, and she was good at it. She started embroidering flowers on the back pockets of our jeans in junior high.
In high school, she started selling reconstructed vintage denim jackets out of the bed of her truck at the Meadowlark farmers market.
In college, she majored in business, but tacked on a double major in fashion merchandising.
She was insanely talented, and tenacious. If anyone could make it, it was Teddy.
I knocked on the door before letting myself in. The entry to the Andersen home led right into their living room, where Hank, Teddy’s dad, was sitting in his chair watching That 70’s Show reruns. His long black hair was mostly gray these days, but his blue eyes were as bright as ever.
Hank was a rockstar—literally. He was on tour as a drummer when he met Teddy’s mom. They had a magical night before going their separate ways. Eleven months later, she showed up at a show with a month-old baby who she hadn’t even bothered to name.
According to Hank, he loved Teddy from the moment he saw her. He named her after a famous jazz singer: Theodora King. He left his band and took his baby girl to a small town he had passed through in a tour van a few years earlier. He got a job, and the two of them started their life as a family of two.
The town was Meadowlark, Wyoming, and the job was at Rebel Blue Ranch.
Neither of them ever saw Teddy’s mom again.
I wondered what my life would have been like if my dad had decided not to take a chance on the wide-eyed drummer with a baby and absolutely no ranch hand experience.
“Hey, Emmy. How the hell are ya?” Hank’s gruff voice was cheerful.
“I’m good, Hank. How are you?”
“I’m survivin’.” He meant that literally. Hank didn’t say things he didn’t mean. That’s where Teddy got it from.
Before Teddy, Hank lived the “sex, drugs, rock n’ roll” life. At this point in his life, it had resulted in a lot of health issues. He currently had at-home care and used an oxygen tank.
That’s why Teddy decided to live at home after college. She didn’t want to leave him.
“And looking damn good doing it.” Teddy appeared in the hallway. When she made eye contact with me, her eyes became laser focused. “You look particularly glowy today, Clementine.” God dammit. I truly couldn’t get anything past Teddy. “What did you get up to last night?” The tone in her voice told me she already knew.
“Teddy, she just got here,” Hank chimed in. God bless him.
“Yeah, Teddy, I just got here,” I said innocently.
Teddy continued to stare at me pointedly. “We’re going to talk about this when we’re no longer in my father’s company.”
“I appreciate that,” Hank said. “I don’t need to know about any dalliances having to do with Emmy and Luke Brooks.”
My jaw dropped and my eyes shot to her. “Are you kidding me, Teddy?!”
“I didn’t tell him, I swear.” Teddy’s eyes were wide, and she raised up her hands in surrender to emphasize her point.
“She didn’t tell me,” Hank admitted before turning to Teddy. “But you should consider shutting your door when you’re on the phone.”
I slapped both of my hands over my face, wishing I could crawl into a hole and disappear. Teddy let out a quiet “whoops.”
Hank just laughed. Reveling in his keen ability to embarrass the hell out of Teddy and me. “Your secret is safe with me, Emmy. Just don’t keep it a secret for too long.”
Jesus. Had Hank heard mine and Luke’s conversation this morning?
“I won’t,” I responded. I hoped I meant it.
“Well, on that note,“ Teddy said, “I thought we could make dinner and dessert together before the evening portion of the birthday extravaganza.”
“That sounds great, Ted.” Teddy and I made dinner for her birthday every year. It started when we were in college. It was our freshman year, and we had moved in the day before.
We made her entire eighteenth birthday meal with a microwave and a drip coffee maker. It was the worst pasta either of us had ever eaten, but we had such a good time that it didn’t matter.
Teddy walked over to her dad and helped him out of his chair. He struggled, but he tried not to show it. Once he was up, Teddy gave him a kiss on the cheek. She looped her arm through his, and they started walking toward the kitchen. I followed.
Once Hank was settled in a chair at the counter, Teddy turned to me and gave me a big hug. “Sorry for accidentally ratting you out to Meadowlark’s biggest gossip,” she said into my shoulder.
“Forgiven.” I pulled back from the hug. “How does it feel to be twenty-seven?” I asked.
“Like I’m just getting started.” She flashed me a signature Teddy smile.
Teddy had all the supplies to make chicken cutlets and pasta with a spicy vodka sauce, sticking with the pasta tradition–but now we made dinners that were edible.
I was on sauce duty, Hank was masterfully tossing together a Caesar salad kit from the grocery store, and nothing could come between Teddy and her focus on her chicken. That was fine with me. Even though I ate chicken, I couldn’t stand touching any raw meat.
Touching it made my gums feel weird. It didn’t make sense to anyone but me, but Teddy never pushed on it. Being an adult with sensory issues was a weird thing. How could I tell someone that if I touched a piece of chicken while the music was too loud, and I could hear somebody breathing, it would send me into a spiral?
Hank had turned on the Eagles. “Peaceful Easy Feeling” floated through the bluetooth speaker in the kitchen, and the smell of garlic and onions had me counting down the minutes until dinner was ready.
There was just something about food and the way it brought people together. That’s why my dad loved to cook, even after he spent the whole day working on the ranch. Growing up, family dinner was a non-negotiable. Both Hank and Teddy used to join us at least once a week after Hank finished his day at the ranch.
“How’s baling going at the ranch, Emmy?” Hank asked as we all sat down to eat. Hank worked at Rebel Blue as my dad’s right-hand man until he physically wasn’t able to, so he knew the schedule as well as Amos Ryder himself.
“We’re actually a little behind, which is driving Gus up the wall, but he’s got a plan to catch us up next week.”
“He runs a tight ship,” Hank remarked.
Teddy groaned. “Dad, please don’t launch into your ‘Gus Ryder is a fine young man’ speech on my birthday, please. Today is sacred.”
“Hey now, I’ve watched Amos run the ranch for years. I used to be the right-hand man, so I know what it takes to be good at it, and Gus is going to do a fine job of it. That’s all I was going to say.”
“He does a good job,” I said. “Dad wishes he would loosen up a little, though.”
Hank let out a hearty chuckle.“He is a bit of a hard ass, isn’t he?”
“Understatement of the century,” Teddy mumbled. “Oh, by the way, I sent Wes an email about a designer I think would be good,” she continued, changing the subject. “She was in a few of my fashion classes before she transferred. She’s talented and has a huge following on social media. Having her on the project might also be a good way to get your name out there as a guest ranch.”
“Wes didn’t mention anything today, so I’ll poke at him. I don’t even know if he uses his email.” Which was true. We all had a Rebel Blue email, but I think Gus was the only one who regularly used it. He’s the one who insisted on them.
“What’s her name?” I asked.
“Her name is Ada. She’s great. Remind me to show you her socials later.” Hank, like Amos, had a strict “no phones at dinner” policy.
The three of us chatted for a while longer before Hank clapped his tattooed hands together. He had “theo” on one set of knuckles and “dora” on the other. He was covered in tattoos, but I knew those were Teddy’s favorite, even though she never went by Theodora.
“Emmy, can you help me up?” Hank asked. “I’ve got a surprise for the birthday girl.”
Teddy started to get up. “Dad, I can help yo—”
“Sit your ass down, Theodora. It’s your birthday.” I went to help Hank out of his chair.
“Where are we headed?” I asked.
“Just to the pantry.” We walked in that direction, and Hank opened the pantry door. He moved a cereal box to reveal a plate of what I assumed were oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, Teddy’s favorite. I grabbed the plate and handed it to him so he could be the one to put them in front of Teddy. “Thanks, Emmy,” he said.
We went back to the table where Teddy was impatiently waiting. Hank set down the plate of cookies in front of a smiling Teddy.
“When did you even have time to make these?”
“While you were at work yesterday. I had to open all the windows to make sure you couldn’t smell them when you got home.”
“Thank you, Dad.”
“It’s been a while, so they might taste like shit.”
Teddy picked up a cookie and took a huge bite.
“They’re perfect,” she said. Her voice was tight, like she was holding back tears. “Dammit, Hank.” She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Love you, old man.”
“Love you, too, Bear. Now, both you ladies grab a cookie and go get ready. The birthday beverages at The Devil’s Boot aren’t going to drink themselves.” Hank leaned down and gave Teddy a kiss on her temple before grabbing his cane that had been hanging on the back of his chair. Both Teddy and I got up and watched him get to his chair in the living room before we walked down the hallway to her room.
Teddy’s room was an extension of her. It was a decor maximalist’s dream. One of her walls was inspired by a gallery wall, but it didn’t have any actual frames or art pieces hanging on it. It was just paintings of frames, filled with things she painted herself.
She had a black-and-white checkered rug on the oak floors, a deep emerald bedspread, an excess of multi-colored pillows, and more stacks of books than the Meadowlark library.
“God, leave it to my dad to make me cry over a batch of cookies,” she said, trying to shake off the tears.
“I’m going to cry over the damn cookies and they weren’t even for me,” I said.
“Don’t think tears will get you out of telling me what happened with you and Brooks last night.”
I groaned. I was hoping she forgot.
Wishful thinking.
I flopped onto Teddy’s bed and draped my arm over my face. She was not deterred.
“Spill,” she demanded.
“Why do I have to tell you if you already know?” I whined.
“Because it’s fun to make you admit things. Plus, it gets more real after you say it out loud.” She paused, waiting for me to do exactly that.
“Fine. I slept with him.” She was right, it did get more real after I said it out loud.
“Slept with who?”
“You are literally so annoying, did you know that?”
“I’m just trying to make sure you’re not throwing me a curveball.” I rolled onto my back and looked my best friend in the eye. “I slept with Luke.” It was out in the open now, and I couldn’t shy away from it. Not that I really wanted to, but all of this just felt so new to me. I was expecting some sort of regret or uneasiness to bubble under my skin when I told Teddy about me and Luke, but it didn’t.
All I felt was…happy. Content, even.
“I fucking knew it. You nearly blinded me with your afterglow.” Teddy put her hands over her eyes like she was blocking out the sun.
“That’s not a real thing,” I argued, pushing her hands away from her face.
“It absolutely is,” she replied, grabbing onto my hand so I had one less arm to cover my eyes with. Teddy wasn’t going to let me hide from this. “And you have it. How many orgasms did it take to achieve? Three? Four?”
“Five,” I mumbled.
“Five?!” Teddy shook her head in disbelief, and I couldn’t help but breathe out a laugh.
“It could’ve been more,” I started, “but things came to an abrupt end when Wes knocked on my cabin door this morning.” Teddy’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “Please tell me your brother did not catch Brooks in your bed. I’m assuming he didn’t, considering I haven’t heard anything about a murder today. Not that Wes would murder anyone, but he would tell Gus, and that would be that.”
“No, I made Luke hide in the bathroom, but I answered the door wearing his shirt without realizing it.” Teddy’s jaw was still on the floor. “You’re lucky he went for the plain black t-shirt yesterday, or you would’ve been fucked. In a bad way. Not the good way you obviously were last night.” I felt a blush creeping up my neck. She wasn’t wrong about either of those things. “So what are you going to do now? Are you and him, like, an item?”
I’d been dreading that question, but I knew it was coming.
“I don’t know,” I said. Recalling how Luke had said he cared about me, and that he didn’t want to be my secret. “He said he wants to see where this goes.”
“What else did he say? You’re holding back.” I loved her, but damn, her human lie detector was annoying as hell sometimes. “How do you know that?” I demanded.
“Because you look like you’re constipated.” Okay, fair. “He said—” I hesitated for a second. “He said he didn’t want to be my ‘dirty little secret.’”
Teddy plopped down on the bed next to me. “Is that what you want him to be?”
“What? No, of course not.” And I meant that. I didn’t really know what I wanted Luke to be, but it definitely wasn’t that. “This whole thing is just a lot. Three weeks ago, Luke Brooks was the one person I would’ve punched in the face on demand. But now, he’s telling me he cares about me, and the way he kisses me makes me feel like I’m floating, and I just don’t know how to deal with it.”
The words poured out of my mouth without giving me a chance to breathe. Once they started, I couldn’t stop them. I covered my eyes again.
“I don’t want him to feel like he’s a secret, but I also don’t want to announce this to the world and watch his friendship with my brothers implode while I’m still trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Because the reality of the situation is, I don’t actually know him that well, and I don’t know if this whole thing is as real as it feels when I’m with him.”
Teddy let out a low whistle. “So, that’s a lot to unpack, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“He didn’t ask you to run and tell your brothers right away, did he?”
“No.”
“Good, because it’s reasonable for you to want some time, and it’s reasonable for him to tell you about his concerns. Right?”
I finally uncovered my eyes and looked at Teddy’s ceiling. “Right.”
“Okay, then. This is what we’re going to do. We’re not going to worry about it tonight. I know you feel like you have to make a decision right away, but you don’t. Everything looks different after a few days, so just give it a little time to work itself out in your brain. Okay?”
“Okay.” I turned my neck so I could look at Teddy, who was laying right next to me on her bed. “Sorry I had a mini freak out.”
“I think you should have more of those. They’re healthy. I’m happy you’re talking to me about this, Em. You don’t have to go through this season on your own—coming home, figuring out your next move, and unexpectedly catching feelings for your brother’s best friend is a lot for anyone to deal with at one time.”
And Teddy didn’t even know the half of it. Guilt gnawed at me over all the things I hadn’t told my best friend.
I just needed some time.
“Do you want to go somewhere else tonight? Get some space?” The plan was to go to The Devil’s Boot with Teddy and a few of her friends from the boutique.
Maybe I should have wanted some space from Luke, but I didn’t. I wanted to see him, get a glimpse of him through the dusky Devil’s Boot interior. I wanted to go there. Even without Luke in the picture, it was the only place that could be counted on for a good time, and I knew Teddy loved it.
The duality of Teddy was that she could simultaneously be the center of attention while constantly focusing on other people’s needs and comfort. I needed to be better about paying attention to hers. She would gladly give up The Devil’s Boot and all of her birthday plans if she thought for even a second I didn’t want to go, but I did.
I shook my head at Teddy, telling her I didn’t want to go anywhere else.
Her mouth stretched into a smile. “Good. Wait until Brooks sees you in the dress I made.”
“Isn’t it weird to you that you made me a dress for your birthday?” Teddy looked at me like that was the stupidest thing to ever come out of my mouth. “Alright, never mind.”
Teddy walked to her closet and pulled out a black garment bag. She brought it over to the bed and laid it in the spot she had just moved from.
“Open it before I explode,” Teddy said.
I sat up and pulled the zipper on the garment bag down. I was immediately met with a beautiful, rich crimson color.
I pulled the entire dress out to find a simple, but beautifully constructed, sundress. It looked like it would hit a little below the middle of my thighs. The bodice was tight with a square milkmaid neckline and thick tank top straps. Teddy knew I liked the way necklines and straps like these looked against my collar bones—just like with the swimsuit I wore to the springs with Luke. Teddy is the one who helped me pick it out.
“Teddy, this is beautiful. I love it.”
“I knew you would. Red is your color, but you don’t wear it nearly enough.” I couldn’t even think of another red thing I owned besides my swimsuit. Maybe one of Gus’s old Budweiser t-shirts? Definitely not anything like this. “And I know linen scratches your brain in the wrong way, so the top is lined with jersey knit. It’s light, though, so you shouldn’t get hot or anything.”
“I seriously love it. Thank you.” I gave Teddy a hug. “I’m dying to put it on.”
“Not yet.” Teddy said. “We have a whole birthday slash rom-com-getting-ready-montage to complete before you can put it on. It’s the finale.”
“We do?”
“Yes. We need to make sure I get the present I wanted.”
“And what’s that?”
“Watching Luke Brooks fall to his knees the minute he sees you.”
