I looked in the mirror. Gus had given me a hell of a shiner, but I couldn’t blame him. The outer edges of it were starting to yellow, but it still looked pretty gnarly.
It had been a few days since divisionals, and I still hadn’t seen Emmy. I wanted to give Gus some more time to cool down, but I had no intention of giving Emmy up. Ever.
Even though I hadn’t seen her, we talked every day. She was mine.
I needed Gus to get to a point where I could talk to him without him throwing another punch. Emmy didn’t like it, but I had a feeling it would take a lot longer for Gus to speak to me if he kept seeing me with his little sister.
Teddy was staying with Emmy at her cabin, which made me feel better. I had been effectively barred from Rebel Blue for the time being. Emmy was pissed at Gus, and Gus was pissed at me.
I felt like shit.
When Emmy left with Teddy after everything went down, Amos went to one of the concession stands and got me an ice pack for my eye. He didn’t ask me when it started or what the hell was wrong with me, which was what I was expecting. Instead, he walked with me back to my truck and said, “He’ll get over it.”
“I don’t know if he will,” I responded.
“I do. Emmy came home broken, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who helped her put herself back together.
“Thank you,” he continued, “for taking care of my baby girl.”
“She can take care of herself,” I said.
“I know she can, but you made sure she didn’t have to do it alone.”
I wasn’t really expecting a ringing endorsement from any of the Ryders, but Amos actually seemed happy about Emmy and me. That was enough to get me through a few days without her, even though I missed her like crazy.
It was weird, thinking about how I’d known Emmy for nearly my entire life, but we had just been living our lives semi-adjacent to each other. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I was so caught up in her.
I loved her. Deeply.
And I hadn’t even gotten to tell her yet.
My phone buzzed on the bathroom counter. It was Emmy. She had sent me a picture of her phone screen. She was listening to Brooks & Dunn.
Emmy: Good morning.
Emmy: I miss you.
Luke: At least you’ve got another Brooks to keep you company.
Luke: I miss you too, sugar.
My doorbell rang then, which was weird—no one ever came out to my house. Most people didn’t even know it was here. If someone needed me, they looked at The Devil’s Boot or Rebel Blue first. I walked out of my bathroom, giving my black eye one more good prod before making my way to the front door and swinging it open.
It was Gus. He looked disheveled, like he hadn’t been sleeping. His beard, which was normally trimmed neatly and close to his skin, was longer than I’d ever seen it.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
I leaned against the door frame and folded my arms over my chest. “I don’t know,” I said. “Are you here to blacken my other eye?”
Gus looked at his feet. “No. I’m here to talk about Emmy.”
That wasn’t what I was expecting. I moved out of the doorway, giving him the go ahead to come in. I hated that it felt awkward between us.
“Do you want a cup of coffee?” I asked. It was early, around seven, or else I would’ve offered him a beer. I might need one to get through this conversation.
“Yeah, that would be great.”
I went to the kitchen, where my coffee pot had stopped brewing the pot I’d put on when I woke up this morning. I poured a cup for each of us, and we sat at the kitchen table.
This was so fucking weird. In nearly two decades of friendship, there had never been an awkward moment between Gus and me. There hadn’t even been a fight that lasted longer than a few hours. We sat in silence for a few beats. Gus was the first one to speak.
“I’m sorry I punched you,” he said. Apologies from Gus Ryder were a rare thing. “But you know that’s my first instinct when I see someone kissing my sister.”
“I’m sorry you had to find out that way,” I said, and I was, but I wouldn’t apologize for kissing his sister. No matter what, Emmy was mine.
We were silent again.
“I’m sorry. For what I said to you at divisionals. I didn’t mean it.” I didn’t know what to say to him. Gus’s words had fucking stung, even though I’d tried to let them roll off of me. Gus looked down at his coffee cup before he said, “You’re one of the best people I know.”
“You know where to hit a man where it hurts,” I said.
“I really am sorry.”
“So am I.” I sighed. I hated that this was all so fucked up, and I knew it was my fault for falling in love with Emmy, but I could never regret that. I would never regret crossing the line with her. We’d crossed the line together, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
“How long has it been going on?” Gus asked.
“It started a few weeks after Emmy came home,” I answered honestly. Gus pursed his lips. I could tell he wanted to get angry, but was holding back.
Thank god. I didn’t want to take another punch or another verbal assault.
“And you never thought maybe you should tell me that you were into my little sister?”
“Of course I did, and I was going to as soon as Emmy was ready, but can you honestly say you would’ve reacted any differently?”
Gus blinked slowly. “Wait.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Did you say you were going to tell me as soon as Emmy was ready?” I nodded. “So you weren’t the one who was keeping it a secret?”
“No, Emmy wanted to wait before we told anyone.”
“You weren’t the one who wanted to hide it?”
“No. As soon as I realized what was going on between us, I wanted to tell you.” That was true. I just didn’t know how to do it.
“So what is going on between you two?”
I took a deep breath, hoping what I said next wouldn’t earn me another punch, but Gus needed to hear the truth.
“I’m in love with her. Like, really fucking in love with her.” Gus’s eyes widened. He was my best friend. We talked. He knew I’d never loved anyone the way I thought I was supposed to, that I didn’t even know if I knew how to, but that was before Emmy.
She was everything.
“Does she love you back?” he asked after a second.
“I don’t know. I haven’t told her yet,” I admitted.
“You haven’t told her?”
“Well, I was about to, but then some asshole punched me in the face. It kind of ruined the moment, you know?”
Gus gave me a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his neck. “Listen, it’s fucking weird that you’re with my sister, but she’s been mopey as hell since divisionals. She refuses to talk to me, and she has been doing all of her work on the ranch solo. I hate it when she isolates herself like this.”
That was Emmy’s go-to when she was upset.
“And I’m pissed that you lied to me, especially about the one person on the planet who should have been off-limits to you, but I didn’t think I had to tell you that. I’m not going to lie to you and say I’m okay with this, because I’m not.”
Ouch.
“But, I think…” He sighed. “I could be. Someday.” I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Emmy is on heifer watch on the south side of the ranch this morning.” I must’ve looked confused, because he went on, “I’m telling you so you could find her if you needed to, to tell her that you love her or whatever.”
Was he being serious?
I wasn’t about to look a forgiveness horse in the mouth. He didn’t have to tell me twice. I stood from the kitchen and grabbed my keys from the hook by the front door. I came back and outstretched my hand to Gus, hoping he would take it.
He did, and we shook hands.
As I ran out the front door, he called after me, “Just so you know, if you break my sister’s heart, a black eye is going to be the least of your worries.”
