It had been almost a week since I moved into the small cabin and whatever it was that happened with Brooks on its inaugural evening.
I tried not to think about it, but every time I let my mind wander, I came back to how his arm felt under my hand, the way his hands felt on my thighs, and the way he looked at me like he wanted to devour me.
Brooks had always been a ladies’ man. It had taken less than a minute of all his attention being on me to understand why.
He was intoxicating.
I can’t believe I was so close to letting Luke Brooks—the man who had probably slept with over half the women in Meadowlark within spitting distance of his age—kiss me. Thank god Wes showed up when he did, or I probably would have.
Gross.
I’d seen his truck a few times on the ranch since then, but never him. I mostly stayed in my cabin, where I was currently halfway through unpacking my clothes. Wes was fine with me secluding myself in my cabin as long as I came up to the Big House and ate dinner with him, but Gus wouldn’t be when he got back in town.
I should have been relieved that Brooks and I weren’t crossing paths. I didn’t even like him.
So why did I feel disappointed?
Snap out of it, Emmy. Remember how you broke up with your boyfriend via Post-it last weekend? You don’t need to be kissing anyone.
Especially Luke Brooks.
The thought about my ex took me by surprise. Stockton and I weren’t together very long—a few months. He lived in the same apartment complex as me. At first, I liked him because he wasn’t like any man who had ever been interested in me. He was from a big city, he worked in tech, and he wasn’t a cowboy.
He’d never even been on a horse.
He was nice, but over the past month and a half or so he’d started doing things I didn’t like. He checked up on me constantly and would get really touchy whenever Teddy would call, so I wouldn’t end up answering the phone. A few weeks ago, we went to a restaurant and he tried to order my food for me.
Not only that, he tried ordered me a steak.
I didn’t even eat red meat.
I would tell him that, and he would say, “Just try it.”
I didn’t need to “try it.” I literally grew up on a cattle farm. But we weren’t at a point in our relationship where I felt like I could talk to him about my sensory issues—especially if his response was going to be “just try it.”
Honestly, I would’ve broken up with him eventually anyway.
My injury and subsequent spiral just sped up the process.
There was a knock on my cabin door. Before I could answer it, Teddy came in like a tornado.
“Hello, lovey!” She had a few shopping bags. “I come bearing gifts!”
“Why?” I asked. I didn’t mean to sound annoyed, but it came out that way.
“Because you haven’t been answering my texts, so I needed to make sure you hadn’t regressed to a Sweet Home Alabama situation”—I rolled my eyes at that—“and just in case you did: gifts.” She held up the bags she was carrying.
Teddy loved gifts—buying them or getting them, it didn’t matter.
“I love you, you know that?” I said.
“Obviously. And I love you, which is why I’m not going to say anything about the attitude you gave me a few seconds ago.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. I meant it.
“Accepted. Do you want to see your presents?”
“You know I do.” Teddy gave an excited mini-squeal and clapped her hands together. She started walking toward the scene of the Brooks incident, otherwise known as the kitchen table, and I followed.
“First things first.” Teddy reached into the biggest bag of the bunch. “New bedding! I’m assuming your attitude isn’t great because you haven’t been sleeping well. I know Wes probably brought you down the run-of-the-mill ranch set.” She was right. “That shit is scratchy, and we know how you feel about scratchy textures against your skin.”
The bedding Teddy brought was cream colored and very, very soft. Sometimes I forgot how well Teddy knew me, but the lump in my throat was a good reminder.
“I love it, Ted. Thank you.”
“We are just getting started,” she said. “Also, I brought a mini coffee pot, your classic Folger’s, a lot of dill pickle potato chips, and these new leggings that I think you’re going to love. They literally feel like you’re just walking around naked.”
Teddy and I hadn’t lived in the same place since college. Even though I could never forget what it felt like to be loved by Teddy, I think I did forget what it was like to be near her.
“You didn’t have to do all of this.”
“Blah blah blah.” Teddy was a star at giving compliments and praise—not great at taking them. “I’m happy you’re here, even when you don’t answer my texts, and I just want you to know that I’m here for you, Em. Whatever you need.”
Teddy was my best friend.
I could tell her anything. That was the whole point of having a best friend. Plus, I had to tell someone or I might explode.
“I wanted to kiss Luke Brooks,” I blurted out. Teddy went totally still. I didn’t even know she was capable of that.
“WHAT.” Teddy’s eyes almost burst out of her head. “Start talking, now.”
Shit.
“It’s hard to explain but there was an injury and adrenaline and his biceps are just so…you know, and his face isn’t bad either and—”
Teddy cut me off. “Where did this happen?”
“Where you’re sitting.”
“Holy shit.” Teddy leaned back in her chair and kept her eyes on me. “So you wanted to”—she paused for a second—“kiss him?”
I swallowed. “In the moment…kind of?”
“What about now? Like, now that the moment has passed?”
“Of course not.” That was a lie. I was a dirty little liar.
“Okay. Okay.” Teddy shook her head in disbelief.
For the first time in our lives, I think Teddy was at a loss for words. “I mean, I don’t blame you,” she finally said. “He’s got that whole bad boy cowboy thing going for him, and you did just break up with someone, so it makes sense.”
“It does?”
“No, but let’s pretend it does. It’ll make you feel better.” Ugh. I buried my face in my hands. “So do you, like…like him?”
“No!” I said quickly. Too quickly. Teddy gave me a look that said she didn’t quite believe me.
I didn’t quite believe me either.
There was another knock at my cabin door—well, at the door frame, since Teddy had left the door open.
“Emmy, how many times have I told you not to leave the cabin doors open?” Gus made his way into the cabin, which was way too small for three people, especially when two of those people were Teddy Andersen and August Ryder.
“Sorry, Gussy,” Teddy called. “That was me.”
Gus’s steps immediately halted as he shot daggers at Teddy.
If Gus were a few years younger—and smiled more—we could be twins. But my eyes didn’t have his dagger-shooting ability.
Gus was even sporting a neatly trimmed beard that really made him look like a younger version of our dad. He didn’t have that the last time I saw him. “Theodora, I thought I banned you from Rebel Blue,” he said. He was very obviously annoyed.
“I thought I told you if you called me that I would shove a fence post down your throat,” Teddy said in a sickly sweet voice. “And that’s the last thing you’d need considering you’re looking a little worse for wear these days.”
Teddy batted her eyelashes for good measure. She made that gesture look so condescending.
“If I get you a bridle, will you shut up?” Gus snapped.
“A bridle? Ooooh, August Ryder has a kinky side,” Teddy responded.
“Okay,” I interrupted. “It’s not even 10:00 AM, so maybe let’s cool it on the verbal warfare.” Teddy and Gus both looked at me, remembering I was there. When they got like this, they could go all day.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to make a loser out of Gus so early in the morning,” Teddy said. She flipped her copper hair over her shoulder. “I just came to check on Maverick.” Maverick used to belong to Teddy’s dad, but he couldn’t ride anymore, so Teddy looked after the horse. “I’ll call you later, Emmy.”
“Bye, Ted. Love you.”
“Love you more.” On her way out of the cabin, Teddy stopped in front of Gus. “What’s that?” She pointed at his shirt, and like an idiot, he looked down. She flicked her finger back up and hit him in the nose.
Gus growled. Literally growled.
I heard Teddy’s laugh until she shut her truck door.
“I really can’t stand her,” Gus said to me.
“Well, she can’t stand you either.” I looked at him for a second before rushing over and giving him a big hug. “Welcome home, big brother.”
Gus gave me a squeeze. “You, too, little sister.” He used one of his hands to ruffle my hair. Gus had the tough guy bit down pat, but underneath it all, he was a softy, even though he’d never admit it. If I said that to him, he would double down on being an asshole just to prove me wrong.
“How was Idaho? I thought you guys weren’t getting home until later?” I was happy to see him, really happy. But I’d been hoping for a little bit more time to mentally prepare myself before seeing him and my dad.
“We got an earlier flight. Dad’s dying to see you.” Their early arrival did mean I got to hug my dad sooner, and that was something I needed. There wasn’t anything a hug and a home-cooked meal from Amos Ryder couldn’t fix.
“Where is he?”
“He’s at the house making the world’s latest breakfast for us. He told me to come get you. Ready?” I nodded, and we started toward the Big House. For Gus’s sake, I made sure to put on a show of shutting the door and locking it.
While Gus and I walked up to the house, he told me about the conference he and my dad had gone to in Idaho. Apparently, Gus got a lot of information on guest ranches and horse rescues. From the way he was talking, it seemed like he was pretty into the idea of both. Rebel Blue had the space for them.
Wes was going to be stoked about this potential change of heart about the guest ranch.
“Is Riley here?” I asked.
“No, she’s with Cam. I’ll go get her tomorrow.”
“I saw the last part of her lesson on Saturday. She’s a natural,” I said, thinking back to how brave and confident she looked while riding Cheerio. She looked how I used to feel when I was riding.
Thinking about that made my heart hurt. I wondered if riding was something that was behind me now, but Gus’s response pulled me out of my own head before I could make it too far down that spiral.
“Yeah, she’s good. Brooks is a good teacher, too.” Of course Gus would bring up Brooks. I’d brought up the riding lesson, and I recognized bringing up the instructor was the natural progression of what we were talking about, but it still bugged me.
Luke Brooks was taking up enough of my headspace. I didn’t need him taking up airtime in my conversations, too.
“I still can’t reconcile Brooks the riding instructor with Brooks who was known for a different kind of riding,” I said, mostly without thinking. Gus looked at me like I just grew a second head.
He was the second person who had given me a look like that today, and both times, it had to do with Luke Brooks.
“Gross, Emmy. I don’t want to hear that coming out of my sister’s mouth.”
“I thought we were on this level, considering you’re the one who asked me whose bed I was in last week,” I retorted.
“Point taken.” Gus changed the subject. “Wes tells me you’ve been sulking in your cabin,” he said. It wasn’t a question.
“Why does everyone always think I’m sulking?”
“You’re a sulker, Emmy. It’s what you do,” he said matter-of-factly.
I scoffed. “You’re one to talk.” But it galled me that he was right, and that he’d called me out on it. I was a sulker. It was just easier for me to retreat into my own head than anything else. It was the path of least resistance—at least for a while. “But yeah, I have been spending a lot of time in the cabin. Just settling in. It’s a big change.”
“So you’re moving back? This isn’t just a ‘break’ like you called it on the phone?”
“It’s still technically a break,” I insisted. “But yeah. I think I’m moving back. At least for a while.” I knew I was staying when I talked to him on the phone, but he didn’t need to know that.
“You know I’m going to put you to work, then, right?”
I sighed. Of course he was. “I know.”
“We’re down a ranch hand, so between you and Brooks, you can fill in for that spot until we fill it. Okay?”
I didn’t love the fact that Brooks and I were a pair in this situation, but I nodded anyway. If I agreed to working, Gus would be happy.
“Alright, then. I’m happy you’re home,” Gus said. Predictable. Work was always at the top of Gus’s mind. The only thing that beat out the ranch was Riley.
We made it back to the Big House, and Gus pushed open the back door for me. And for the second time since I’d been home, I ran into a man’s rock-hard chest.
My luck in avoiding Brooks had just run out.
I looked up at him. His face was mostly blank as he steadied me, just like he had after the first collision. Blank stare or not, I could drown in his deep-brown eyes.
This was truly the worst.
“Hey, Emmy,” he said. Cool. Neutral.
Annoying.
I would honestly rather he use his arrogant voice. This cool indifference was infuriating, considering he’d been relentlessly occupying my thoughts for days. It really sucked that he was so good looking. That shouldn’t be allowed.
“Hi.” Two could play the cool game.
“Spud? Is that you?” I heard my dad’s gruff voice from the kitchen. It was the only thing that could pull me from my standoff with Brooks. I ran for my dad, and as soon as I saw him, I launched myself into him, giving him the biggest hug I could muster.
His arms circled around me and he lifted me off the ground. Being in his mid-sixties had nothing on him. Amos Ryder was tough as nails.
Maybe it was the yoga.
His skin was weathered and his green eyes were dark. He was wearing his usual flannel button-down with the sleeves rolled up. He had a swallow tattooed on each of his forearms. After a lifetime in the sun, they were faded. I loved them.
Even though I’d been home for a week, it hadn’t truly felt like it without my dad. Now I really was home. He laughed into my hair. It was hearty and gravelly. “I missed you, too, Spud.” I wrapped my arms around him tighter for a second before I let go.
He lowered me to the ground.
I looked at my dad. He looked older than when I last saw him—a few more wrinkles around his eyes, and the salt in his hair had made it further up. It was more salt than pepper these days.
“Did Maple make it back okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, she’s in the stall next to Moonshine.” Maple made it back to Rebel Blue a few days ago. Her transport took a little longer than expected, but she made it.
I’d been riding Maple since the beginning of my professional career. Before her, I had Moonshine. I had tried a few horses in between them because I was waiting for Maple to be ready to ride, but none of the other horses were the right fit for me. Most of them were still at the ranch, like Gus’s horse, Scout.
Not every horse was built for the barrels, but Maple was. She was an expressive horse, and when we raced, I could tell she felt the same way I did.
The way I used to feel, anyway.
“I’m sure they’re happy to be reunited,” my dad remarked. They were. Moonshine was made to be a mother, and she loved Maple like she was her own.
Honestly, seeing them back together in the pasture almost made me want to ride.
Almost.
“They are. I’ve been letting them pasture together.”
“We’ll have to take them out for a trail ride soon. I’m sure Moonshine would rather ride with Maple than Cobalt.” Cobalt was my dad’s horse. He was a black-and-white American Paint Horse—easily the most beautiful horse on the ranch. Cobalt and Moonshine had a love-hate relationship. They both thought they were the alpha of Rebel Blue.
I couldn’t bring myself to answer my dad’s suggestion of a trail ride. It was our favorite thing to do together–at least, it used to be, so I just nodded.
The front door opened again. It was Wes. He was in his work clothes. This time of day was usually the boys’ lunch since they were up at the ass crack of dawn.
“Weston, you’re just in time. Food’s ready.”
I sat at my normal seat at the table. I’d forgotten it was the seat directly across from Brooks.
Great.
