I’ve given head a hundred times. It’s something that I usually enjoy, but that was something else. Holy fuck, that was something else. I’m too used to the narrative where the guy thrusts his cock into my mouth without making a sound. The guy takes pleasure from me without giving me any inclination that he is enjoying himself. Only when he finishes, do I know that he had a good time while I was on my knees.
This time, though, Finn made me feel like a fucking blowjob goddess. I wanted nothing more than to make him cum and only because I knew he would praise me with his words and noises. His moans feel like rewards that I have been granted for doing a good job, and it lights a fire inside of me that I didn’t even know had been burnt out long ago.
I feel like I’m waking up a part of my body that has been asleep my entire life. I know sex can be good, but at the very least, I want it to feel equal. I want to feel the same pleasure that men are allowed to feel, and if I don’t, then it isn’t worth it to me to fuck someone.
This feels different. I’m not ticking boxes and hoping we get the same amount of pleasure, because his pleasure makes me so fucking hot. I didn’t realize that watching Finn fall apart would make me feel more satisfaction than an hour’s worth of jackhammering from a rando from the bar. I wasn’t aware that I could feel this strong and powerful during sex. I didn’t realize it was less about the quality of sex and more about the quality of the man.
And let me fucking tell you, Finn Declan is a fine quality man.
I finally raise from my knees, with a helping hand from Finn, and his mouth is on mine before I can even say anything.
In the past, men have been worried about kissing me after oral, especially after they cum in my mouth. It has always been a point of contention for me. I went through the trouble to suck your dick, and now I get denied a kiss because you think it’s gross? Yet, when I got ready to be denied a kiss, Finn reached for me. He kisses me like he would walk through fire to feel my lips on his and I relish the feeling.
That’s a feeling I could get high on. As if he will stop at nothing to have his hands on me, and his mouth on mine. That’s more powerful than any drug I have tried.
I can feel his confidence growing with his movements. When we first started, he didn’t want to make many choices. He wanted me to lead the way, but I can see the more time passes, the more confident he gets in his ability to turn me on.
Probably because he has been turning me on this entire fucking time.
He pushes me against a wall, lifting me up so my legs can wrap around his torso in the most delicious way. His cock is still out, but his pants are finally all the way off, so it’s just my pants stopping him from being inside of me.
He kisses me with a passion I have never known. I have been led to believe that men don’t enjoy kissing the way that I do. I thought they only did it to get to the fucking faster. Yet, here I am, getting kissed like my life depends on it, and it’s getting me so fucking wet I can’t believe it.
Too many times I have been in a situation where someone tries to stick their dick in me, and there’s a tug and a pull and a whole lot of skin pinching, all because they did nothing to prep the area other than slapping their dick across my face, which did a lot more for them than it did for me.
When Finn fucks me, we won’t have that problem. He is going to slide right in with no issues. The thought makes me want to close my legs, desperate for some kind of friction. Any kind of friction at this point.
His hands are in my hair and on my ass as if he can’t get quite enough of me. As if he needs to touch every part of me now or he will fucking die. I have never felt hotter. I have never thought about my appearance less. I have never had this good of a time during sex, and he hasn’t even fucked me yet.
His lips leave mine and I hold back a whimper. “Where’s your bedroom?” he asks, barely above a whisper. God, that voice alone could ruin my whole fucking life. I point in the direction of my room, at least I think it is the direction of my room. I can’t be too sure of anything right now when my head is filled with thoughts of Finn’s cock doing nasty things to my body all night.
He moves me easily with strength I haven’t seen before. I wouldn’t call myself a small person. I’m a normal-sized adult, but he can still carry me to my bedroom without a problem, which turns me on even more. I think everything this man can do is going to turn me on, and I just need to face that fact now.
When he lays me down on my bed, his lips join mine again, making me actually whimper this time.
“Jesus fucking Christ, make that fucking sound again,” he grunts out from what I believe are gritted teeth. His tone of voice starts building pleasure at the bottom of my spine. I can’t believe the way his words make my body feel fucking alive.
“Make me,” I say back, humor dripping from my voice. Although I am trying to be funny, a huge huge huge part of me wants him to do it. I want him to make me squirm. I want him to use his body against mine in chemical goddamn warfare. I want to be at his mercy like I never have been before, like he was just at mine.
His mouth leaves mine suddenly. I stare up at him, waiting for his next move. His eyes dart between mine, looking for an answer to a question he hasn’t asked yet. I wait, as patiently as I can, for him to tell me what exactly he is thinking. I want to ask him why he stopped the best experience of my fucking life.
“Can I—” he mumbles, unsure of his own words. I say nothing, trying to give him the space to ask for what he wants. I don’t know if he has ever done this before, communicating to the extent that we are right now. If I’m being honest, this level of communication is new to me too. I haven’t had someone be so open sexually, in my entire life. It’s liberating at the same time as it is scary.
I can feel my pussy throb, desperate for him to touch me, but I continue waiting. I want to give him time to find his voice. I don’t want to push. I don’t want to tell him what to do. I want to give him the space to ask for what he wants, exactly how he wants it. I want him to be an active participant in this, not just someone trying to blow a load into a warm hole.
“Can I eat you out?” he finally asks, sounding like a parched man who has finally found a glass of water.
“You want to?” I ask, completely unsure. I’m not used to men being on the cusp of begging to eat my pussy. Usually, it feels more like a chore for men than anything. He nods his head instantly, reassuring me that he actually wants to do this. I nod back at him, trying to dampen the nerves that always come with receiving oral.
Although I like oral, it has always felt like something men do to check a box instead of a privilege for them. The way Finn is looking at me, with so much excitement and sexual energy, makes me feel the way I have always wanted to feel. I have always felt like giving oral is just a step right before sex, but Finn looks enthralled at the chance to eat me out.
“I’ve never—” he cuts off. I look him in the eyes, trying to understand exactly what he means. He can’t mean he’s never… gone down there? Right?
“You’ve never?” I ask, hoping it’s not what I think it is.
“I’ve never eaten pussy before,” he says sheepishly, avoiding eye contact. I train my face to avoid showing shock. I don’t want to embarrass him. “No one ever asked for it. Usually, the women I have slept with want it over quickly so they can tweet about it,” he mumbles, unsure of his words.
Although the feelings flooding my body are fucking carnal, I realize now that this is incredibly vulnerable for Finn. He is doing something he hasn’t done before, and he’s trusting me with that. It feels like a fucking award that he would trust me with something so personal, but I dampen down the feeling, trying to focus on my reply.
“You can eat me out,” I say, trying my best to sound encouraging. He gives me a hesitant look, before lifting me up far enough to take my shirt and bra off. He does so quickly, giving me zero time to care about how I look. With the top half of my body bare, Finn starts trailing kisses down my body.
Starting on my neck, he pecks, licks, and bites his way to the core of my body, leaving me in so much anticipation that I’m desperate by the time he reaches the hem of my pants. He taps my thigh, in a signal to raise my ass up, and pulls my pants off with ease and speed. Suddenly, I’m in front of him completely bare.
I hold my legs together, nerves dancing in my stomach. Usually, with a new person, nerves are present the entire time, keeping my orgasm far away, but with Finn, the nerves sit in my stomach, making the entire experience more exciting.
Finn takes in my body, running his eyes down slowly, soaking in every inch of exposed skin that I have on display. I feel the heat of his gaze, making a path down my body until it hits my legs, still closed out of either instinct or nervousness, I’m not totally sure.
“Spread your legs,” he says, the most forceful he has been all night. The words slide through the room like fucking honey, making me melt into them. I want to catch those words and put them in a jar. I want to eat the words alive, letting them sustain me for weeks.
I do as I am told, spreading my legs for him to see the most personal part of my body.
I don’t even think about how wet I must be. He has been using and edging my body in more ways than one for what seems like hours. The foreplay started at the bar, and it has been making me desperate for him ever since.
When his eyes rake across my open legs, his face contorts into pain, bliss, desire, and need all at once. A hundred emotions dance on his face but one stands out against the rest, complete and utter desperation for my body. The thought alone makes my orgasm start to build, and he hasn’t even touched me yet. The look on his face alone will be used as spank bank material for years to come.
He moves his body to the floor, pulling me closer to the edge of the bed so he can taste me. He pulls me with force, moving me quickly. My skin slides across the bed, adding more sensations to the ever-growing desire inside of me. I feel so sensitive. Finn’s touch on my ankle is incredibly soft but deliciously desperate. The soft sheets under my body ground me back to earth. The cool air hits my nipples, making them hard and desperate for someone to touch them. For Finn to touch them.
Even though I am spread in front of him, he goes impossibly slow, making me grateful and frustrated. Part of me needs a second to catch my breath. I have never had sex like this, and it is something I want to hold on to for my whole fucking life. But I’m also so fucking desperate for this man to touch me. I am so desperate to show Finn what sex can be, even if I am just finding out for myself.
He trails kisses up my legs, getting closer and closer to where I need him. Although I am frantic, part of me wonders if Finn needs a deep breath too. Living your entire life the way he has must make vulnerability hard. I can only imagine.
His hot breath on my thigh makes me whimper, wishing he would finally put me out of my misery.
