The moment my words register, a wicked grin to match my own appears on his face. Then he pops that little dimple below his mouth in the most addicting way. “Do you even have to ask?”
I smirk, trailing my hand down his chest. My fingers dip under his shirt, pulling the damp fabric over his head and tossing it across the room. It lands with a loud thwap, leaving his skin completely exposed.
“I dare you…” I whisper, letting my fingers glide the length of his spine, before circling around to the front of his jeans, my knuckles dancing over his skin there. The button of his jeans pops open with ease and I smirk when his breath hitches slightly with anticipation as I push them to the floor.
I love knowing what I do to him. The way his body responds to mine when I touch him.
We might be in this weird space between friends and more than that right now, and I might be going insane while trying to dissect it, but I know this. The way my body melts under his touch, sings for him alone.
“You dare me…” he repeats, his eyes igniting my skin. It doesn’t stop when he glances down to where I’m undressing him, painfully slow.
I’ve had this idea in my head for a while, how to separate my emotions from the sex we’ve been having. And with all the emotions swirling around in my brain and chest while we’ve been here on the coast, I think it’s time I try to lock them up and enjoy this for what it is.
Just sex.
It’s the only way to detach. Guard myself, before it’s too late.
Leaning in, I brush my lips lightly against his. Not in a kiss, but a featherlight caress meant to taunt him.
“I dare you to fuck me,” I murmur against his mouth. “And when I say fuck me, I don’t want the way we’ve been having sex, all sensual and shit. I want you to fuck me.”
To prove my point, I rub the heel of my hand against his erection, already stiff and ready for me. It makes my cock twitch against his hip, getting impossibly harder. I want to take my time with him, drive him as wild as he does me on a daily basis with something as simple as a look in my direction and one of those sexy, dimple-popping smirks he reserves just for me.
But God, I’m torturing myself as much as I am him, so I forego the idea of a slow seduction, moving from zero to a hundred in the blink of an eye.
Tugging my own soaked shirt over my head, I let it join his on the floor before swapping our positions and pressing him back against the door. He’s cold against me, slick with the remnants of rain water, and when I go to flick his nipple, goosebumps break out across every inch of his pale skin.
He licks his bottom lip, that grin of his turning downright sinful. “Am I not fucking you good enough for your liking?”
His hands slip into my pants, kneading my ass in his hands and driving me even crazier for him.
“Mmm, that’s not what I said.” I wrap my hand around his cock, giving it a couple slow tugs. “I want whatever you’ll give me…however you’ll give it to me.”
There’s an arch to his brow. “But you want me to be rougher? Dirtier?”
Licking my lips, I nod. “I want the filthiest parts of you, Pen. I want it all.”
Deep blue eyes flare with heat, an unchecked amount of lust and desire swirling in their depths. Then he leans in, whispering against my lips and making my toes curl.
“Then get on your knees, baby. I’m about to fuck your face until you can’t breathe.”
Holy shit.
I’ve never dropped to my knees faster in my life, stripping him of his underwear until he’s standing before me in all his sexy, naked glory.
The expanse of pale skin before me is mouthwatering perfection, and I can’t help but want to touch and lick and worship every inch of it.
I used to tease him about how white he is, always telling him he makes Casper look tan on his best days. Even when we spend weeks on the road where we hike and spend a lot of time outside, he never gets much darker than he is now.
But as I run my hands down his taut stomach and lick at the blue veins popping out near his hip, I don’t think I’d want it any other way. There’s nothing I’d change. I’m obsessed with everything about him.
My tongue runs the length of his cock, working up from root to tip before lavishing attention on the crown, already shiny with a bead of pre-cum. I swirl it around the head and flicking at the nerve beneath, and though I wasn’t going for torture, it must be from the way Pen’s chest rumbles out a low groan.
“Don’t play games with me, Kee,” he mutters, fingers sinking into the hair at the back of my head and tugging me closer. “Open. And swallow.”
With a small smile on my lips, I obey his command and let him slide his cock along my tongue. The moment the head hits the back of my throat, I inhale through my nose and take him further. My nose brushes against his skin, the musky scent of him overwhelming me as he starts to move.
It’s slow at first, controlled as he always is while he lets me get a feel for it. But soon enough, he’s moving faster, hips snapping forward and fingers anchoring painfully in my hair. More pre-cum catches on my tongue, the burst of masculine flavor making me crave more of it.
I’m so desperate for him, it’s insane.
And that makes me so screwed.
My grip on him tightens, holding on for dear life as he starts to fuck my mouth with absolutely zero finesse. The length of him glides across my tongue, slipping down my throat on each thrust, and the look on his face is nothing but sweet, blissful ecstasy as I take everything he has to give me. I swallow around the length the way that drives him wild, and he lets out another sexy moan that goes straight to my own aching cock.
“Shit, don’t do that if you want me to fuck you, Kee,” he rasps, pulling himself free from my lips and yanking me up to stand. He plants a blistering kiss on my lips that makes my stupid, love-sick heart sing before breaking away far too soon.
Fingers weave with mine and he drags me down the hall toward the room where we’re staying, the remainder of my clothes left behind in our wake.
Pen releases me, immediately moving for my bag and grabbing the bottle of lube I keep stored in there. When he turns, his thick length coming back into view again, a shiver runs down my spine.
Anticipation builds more as he crosses the room to me, dropping the lube on the comforter and taking my face in his hands and kissing me.
This kiss is different from the last, more slow and sensual, like it was at the beach when I held him in my arms. Full of emotion and memories and friendship, tasting of the future.
A future you don’t have.
This time, I’m the one to break away because my heart can’t take the way it makes me feel. It’s too much, making my entire body tremble with want and need and love and lust, torn between what this is and what I know it could be. It only escalates when he searches my face, giving me the softest smile imaginable.
“Bend over the end of the bed for me, baby.”
Turning away from him helps ease the ache in my chest, but only just.
I follow his command, and the second I do, I feel slick fingers teasing my hole before the first sinks inside me. There’s a split second where my body tenses, ready to reject the intrusion, but I relax and let him sink the digit in me further.
I’ve become addicted to the stretch my body gives him, the way we fit together perfectly at every turn. I’ll never get tired of feeling it.
He kneels behind me, adjusting his angle before another finger slides into me. He really starts stretching me then, preparing my body for him as he peppers kisses at the base of my spine and across each cheek.
My prostate is easy enough for him to find now, and he plays with the little pleasure button inside me, taking turns tormenting the nerves and scissoring his fingers as he sinks them in and out of me.
It doesn’t take long for him to have me panting and needy as I grip the comforter in my fists. He hasn’t even touched my cock, let alone put his dick inside me, and I already feel primed and ready to explode at any second.
Pen’s not helping matters when every time I think I’m gonna come, he eases off my prostate and goes back to stretching me. It’s the most delicious kind of torture, but damn. I rue the damn day I decided to mess around with edging him.
Payback’s a bitch, and it’s gonna be the death of me.
When my balls seize for what might be the eighth time without being granted release, I let out a frustrated sigh.
“I want you inside me, Pen. I want to feel your dick stretching me. Owning me. Not your goddamn fingers. I fucking need it, so stop playing games and drawing it out. Just give me what I want.”
He lets out a low chuckle, pulling free from my body and trailing his fingers up my back as he stands. My ass clenches around nothing but air, missing him filling me, but becoming more desperate for what’s coming next.
“Someone’s impatient.” He grabs the bottle of lube from beside me, and I glance over to watch him coat his cock with the liquid.
God, it’s a sight to behold.
“You would be too if you were just being edged for the past twenty minutes,” I snap.
His lips twitch for the briefest moment. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I’m about to call him out for being a damn liar, but knowing Pen, he’d only go on to torture me more for his own enjoyment. And thankfully, I’m rewarded for my silence when he kicks my legs further apart and positions himself right behind me.
Lips brush over my spine in a feather-light caress, and another piece of my heart shreds.
I can’t handle the soft touches, knowing they lead to nothing. To nowhere. Because to him, this is just sex.
It’s time I get on the same page.
“I’ll never hurt you,” he murmurs, teeth scraping against my shoulder. “I’d rather die.”
The vulnerability in his words slices me open, leaving me raw and bare like never before. And I don’t have it in me to tell him that he’s already hurting me.
He fucking hurts me with every touch, look, or kiss, painting an impossible picture in my brain.
That this is real.
That he might love me.
But I know he doesn’t.
Not the way I love him.
“You’re not gonna break me,” I tell him for what might be the thousandth time, but the words taste bitter on my tongue, like the lie they are.
He takes them at face value, though, pressing yet another kiss to my skin.
Warm breath floats across the back of my neck, and when his cock nudges my rim with the slightest amount of pressure, the combination of sensations makes me shiver.
“Good. Because I’m about to fuck you like I hate you.”
Then he thrusts his hips forward, impaling me completely with one single move. I gasp, my entire body lit on fire in the best way, and it only grows. Building in the best way as Aspen pulls out almost all the way before slamming back home.
It’s hard and fast and brutal, but it’s everything I’ve wanted. As he pounds into me, claiming me as his, I feel whole. Completely owned by him.
The slap of his hips against my ass and the sound of heavy breathing fill the room, creating a soundtrack we get lost in as our bodies take us close to the edge of release. I’ve been halfway there for a while, and I know it’ll only take one or two strokes of my dick before I come completely undone.
“You wanna be owned, huh, Kee?” he pants, grabbing my hips and dragging me back onto his cock. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes,” I whisper, caught between the truth and a lie. Because I don’t want him to own my body alone. I want him to take my heart and soul too. Everything I have to give, I want him to own. Make his and protect it. Cherish it.
But what I want is something I know I’ll never have…and I’d do well to remember that.
“Then get there,” he mutters. “I’m close.”
My palm wraps around my cock, and his palm lands on the small of my back a moment later, pressing down so my ass lifts higher. The new angle has him swiping over my prostate with every punishing thrust, sending me closer and closer and closer.
And I shatter.
I come on a cry, fists clenching the comforter. A full-body orgasm racks every inch of me as hot cum coats my fingers and drips onto the floor between my feet. Aspen’s not far behind me, his movements becoming more sporadic and far less controlled as he finally slips over the edge with me. He rides out his orgasm, the grip on my waist tightening enough to bruise until he slows to a stop.
A deep, sated breath leaves him, his forehead landing on my back as we both take a minute to come down from the high of our release.
His fingers skate back and forth over my hip, a loving but owning caress, and it creates a knot in my throat so large, it’s almost impossible to breathe around.
I’m desperate for some air, some space to get myself under control before I do something insanely stupid. Like crying right in front of him. Or telling him I want more.
Or do the worst thing possible. Because those three words are right there, on the tip of my naughty tongue. Somehow, I manage to swallow them down, nearly choking on the acidic taste of deceit.
But I know it’s for the best.
It’s always for the best, keeping emotions separate from sex. That’s what he said, right?
I’m the first to move away, pulling away enough for his cock to slip free from my ass. He doesn’t let me get far, though, his hold on my hips tightening. The warm dripping sensation of his cum sliding out of my hole greets me after a few seconds, beginning to trail down my leg.
“That what you meant by owning you?” he whispers, and I glance over my shoulder in time to watch him swipe up the cum seeping out of me before shoving it right back inside me. “Claiming you?”
My heart might as well be in a vice as I nod, telling him yet another lie. Tears begin blurring my vision, and I turn away quickly. Hell if I’ll let him see me losing my shit after sex.
“Gonna go shower,” I mutter, freeing myself from his grasp and rushing to the safety of the adjoining bathroom.
Tears track down my face, and I swallow down the sob trying to work its way from my chest as I yank the shower on full blast to drown out the mangled sound that manages to slip free.
I’ve gone and fucking done it now. Proven that, no matter how hard I try, I can’t turn off my feelings for him.
There’s only one way to survive being so stupidly in love with him.
We have to stop.
Otherwise, I’ll destroy everything.
