“YOU TWO ALMOST done up there?” I call up the stairwell as Spencer’s truck rolls to a stop in front of the house. “That boy’s here.” Vangie hates it when I call him that.
Radio silence.
Tink and Vangie have been holed up in my bathroom for damn near three hours now getting ready for homecoming. It’s her first school dance. Gina says it has to be perfect. She took her shopping for a dress and shoes last week. Took her to get her hair and nails done. And now she’s doing her makeup. All of the things I’d never have even thought to do. All of the things she would have missed out on by not having her mother.
The doorbell chimes, and before I can even get to the foyer, I hear Willow. “Ooh Yannon. You wook yike prince sharmin!”
“Thanks, Willow.”
“Y’all come on in,” I say to Landon and Spencer. “She’s still up there with Gina getting ready.”
“I bet she looks amazing in that green dress with her red hair,” Spence says, all giddy.
“Why don’t you go up there and try to hurry them along?” I suggest because I can tell she’s just dying to be a part of this makeover, and I need a moment alone with her son.
“Lookin’ sharp, bud,” I say, admiring Landon’s suit and tie.
“Thanks.” He stares down at his feet. I’m making him nervous. That’s good.
“Now that your mom is outta the way, we’re gonna go over a few ground rules.”
“Daddy, Gigi telled you to yeave Yannon alone.” Willow wags her little finger at me, and Landon tries to cover a laugh.
“Listen here, Landon.” His head comes up, and his eyes meet mine. “No kissing, no butt touching, no boob touching.” I start ticking off all of my ridiculous rules on my fingers.
Landon’s face turns beet red. “Yes, sir.”
“Boy,” I warn, getting in his face. “I know you’ve been kissing my daughter. You better cut that shit out.”
“Yes, sir,” he lies.
“Jeffrey,” Tink growls on her way down the stairs. “I told you not to mess with him.” Her eyes get all starry when she sees the boy she helped raise, all decked out. “You look like a little man. Oh my God. I think I might cry.” Her hands wave in front of her face to dry the tears before they fall.
“Here she comes,” Spence shouts down the steps, starting a drumroll as Vangie begins her walk down the stairs, making her grand entrance.
“Princess.” My hand goes to my chest. She looks so beautiful—and so much like her mother—that for a moment it’s hard to breathe.
“Wow,” Landon rasps, his eyes about bugging out of his head at the sight of Evangeline all made up. “You look so beautiful, Vange.”
Suddenly, Tink’s arm hooks around my elbow. It’s like she knows exactly what I need when I need it. Because seeing the way that boy is looking at my baby has me ready to call this whole ridiculous thing off.
“Thanks, Lan.” Vangie blushes, leaning in to whisper something into his ear.
A smile curls his lips, and I want to know what the hell was just said. This growing up business is a load of bullshit.
“Calm down, papa bear,” Tink teases. “They’re going to a school dance, and Spencer is chaperoning. They aren’t running off to the courthouse.”
“Go stand by your dad in front of the fireplace, Evangeline. I wanna get a shot of you two together before we leave,” Spencer orders, lifting the camera that’s dangling around her neck and making adjustments to the settings.
“You look so beautiful, baby,” I whisper, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.
“Thanks, Daddy.”
Snap. Snap.
“All right, now Willow, you get in.”
“Wait!” Willow shouts. “What about Gigi?”
“Oh, no, baby. Y’all need a family picture.” Gina starts backing away slowly.
“Babe…” I wave her over. “Get in here.” She was such a huge part of this day and is such an integral part of our lives. She belongs in the photos.
“It’s fine, Jeff. I don’t need to be in the picture.”
Evangeline walks over, grabbing Tink by the arm and pulls. “Get in the damn picture, Gina.”
“Evangeline!” I warn. “Language.”
“Everyone says damn, Daddy.” My daughter huffs, completely disregarding my reprimand.
“Yeah, well—”
“I know. I know,” Vangie mocks. “I’m not everyone else’s daughter.”
§
“This is the best double date everrr!” Willow squeals, skipping toward the entrance to the zoo in her poufy yellow Belle dress.
A less enthusiastic pirate growls, behind her. “It’s not a date, Willow. Argh! Don’t make me cut you with my sword.”
“How many years do you think it’ll be before they’re hiding behind the trees between you and Spencer’s houses to make out?” Gina teases, squeezing my hand.
“Stop it.” My eyes veer to the side, narrowing. “I don’t even wanna think about that right now.”
Gina giggles, cuddling into my side. She looks like a sexy little Eskimo all bundled up in her marshmallow jacket. You’d swear by looking at her it was like twenty degrees out rather than the refreshing sixty.
“Willow and Savage, get your little butts back over here before someone steals you,” I shout when they start getting a little too far ahead of us.
“You say that like it’d be a bad thing,” Tink teases.
“Knowing our luck…they’d bring ’em back.”
“Yook, Daddy!” Willow runs over with her candy bag opened wide. “Them nice wadies gave me tandy.”
“That’s great. Now stay right here while Daddy pays.”
“Welcome to Boo at the Zoo. Two adults and two children…That’ll be 36.50.”
“Kyle, a man always pays for his date. Where’s your money?” I hold out my hand, teasing, and that little punk licks it! “Gross!”
“I’m not on a date and don’t got no money. Looks like you’re shit outta luck, CEO.”
“Kyle!” Gina gasps before losing her temporary lapse into adulthood and folding at the waist in a fit of hysterics. “Oh my God, you are such a savage.”
Kyle beams. It’s no wonder the kid says the things he does with the reaction he gets, but I don’t dare comment on the matter. He isn’t mine, and despite his potty mouth, he really is a sweet kid.
“Sorry, ma’am.” My cheeks heat as I hand the woman my card to pay for our admission. “He’s not mine,” I whisper when she passes it back with the receipt and a pen.
The woman laughs, exchanging our tickets for the card receipt. “Y’all have a great time.”
“Yet’s go see the unicorns!” Willow begs, tilting her head to the side and fluttering those long lashes. She’s such a little flirt already.
“Willow, unicorns aren’t—”
“Out tonight,” Tink interrupts, glaring my way. “How ’bout we go check out the zebras instead?”
“What the heck?” I ask Tink as we navigate our way through the crowd to the zebra enclosure.
“She’s three. You gonna tell her Santa isn’t real, too, Mr. Grinch?” Gina hisses. “Let her believe in magic, Jeff. It’s the best part of being a little girl.”
What did I do before Tink? “Don’t ever leave me,” I say, pulling her in for a kiss while the kids are occupied at the fence arguing over whether the damn zebras are white with black stripes or black with white. “You’ll ruin her childhood.”
“Mr. Ryan,” Gina purrs against my lips. “That sounds like bribery.”
“I’m a desperate man, Ms. Bourque.”
“Ewwww,” Willow and Kyle shout in unison.
“How tome you tan tiss Gigi, and I tan’t tiss Tyle?” my little girl asks as Gina and I separate.
“Because,” I say, swiping a hand over my lips. “We’re in love.”
Before any of us realizes what’s happening, my daughter turns to the side, planting a kiss right on Kyle’s cheek.
“Hey!” he shouts, rubbing it away. “You do that again, I’m gonna punch you in the face.”
“You most certainly will not punch her, Kyle,” Gina warns.
“I better never see you do that again, Willow Jane.” What the heck just happened?
“Well, next time you better cwose you eyes, then, Daddy. Cuz me and Tyle is in yove.”
“Ugh, no. No, Willow. I am not in love,” Kyle argues, still scrubbing at the spot where she just violated him.
“How about the monkeys?” Gina suggests, grabbing each of the kids by the hand, effectively separating them, one on each side of her body.
Dear God. The zoo animals are tame compared to these two.
The monkeys are right around the corner in a roped-off area, surrounded by a moat to keep them on their little monkey island. There are ropes to climb and swing on, and hammocks for them to rest.
“Yook at that one,” Willow says, pointing to one of the larger monkeys. He walks right out to the edge of the island and sits, facing the crowd.
“I think he likes the attention,” Gina observes. “Kinda like two other monkeys I know.”
I stand back a little, just watching her with the children. She’s a natural. So patient and loving.
“What’s him doing?” Willow asks.
“Uhhh,” Gina hedges, looking over her shoulder at me for help.
“He’s shakin’ up his baby juice,” Savage answers, all matter of fact. “Those are his tenticles, and they’re compartments that hold seeds that are really babies. Then—this is the best part—he can shoot ’em inside a girl tummy to make a baby, with his penis.”
Squeezing between the small crowd separating us, I force my way to the front. The fucking monkey has a hand between its legs, and he’s jiggling his balls. “Close your eyes, Willow…Savage—”
“Oh my God. Him’s gonna pull it off! Him’s gonna break his baby juice gun,” Willow shouts.
Gina is of no help to the mini panic attack I have going on internally. The woman can’t get a word out because she’s laughing so hard. God love her.
“Time to go!” My announcement is met with grunts and grumbles. “Don’t start that. We need to get back before Evangeline and Landon, anyway.”
The trek back is miserable, but the kids are asleep before we’ve even gotten out of the parking lot. “What a freaking night.” My eyes wander to the side, meeting Tink’s. “Where does he come up with this shit?” I ask, referring to tonight’s lesson on monkey reproduction.
“Well,” she drawls, blushing. “That one might be a little bit my fault.”
Why doesn’t that surprise me in the least?
