My eyes drift over his scarred wrists, my anger at war with the sympathy I feel. Peter seems nervous, and he’s yet to look me in the eye. Instead, he’s staring at his coffee cup.
I asked to meet him at a coffee shop close to my clinic. I figured meeting at neutral grounds would be best for both of us.
“I’m in love with your daughter,” I tell him. He finally looks up, a spark of hope in his otherwise defeated expression. “My love for her is greater than the pain you caused. Amara cares about you. She wants you in her life. In our life.”
I run a hand through my hair, hesitating. “So here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to say what you need to, and so will I. After that, we leave the past where it belongs as best as we can. That doesn’t mean we won’t remember my parents. It means that we leave behind the blame and embrace the good memories. We’ll remember their lives, not their deaths. My sister has shown tremendous grace in forgiving you, and I’m going to try to follow her example. She’s reminded me over and over again that you served your sentence, and I’ll try to remember that.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, a tremor in his voice. “I never intended to hurt anyone. I didn’t go in armed, and I didn’t expect your parents to be home. I just wanted some food for my family, some clothes, and school supplies for Amara. I’d lost my job and I couldn’t even feed my family. Charlotte refused to ask her father for help, and I was desperate. It doesn’t excuse anything, not even remotely… but I need you to know that it was an accident. Your parents came home suddenly, and when your father pointed that gun at me, I panicked. We fought, and I made the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I see them every time I close my eyes. I will never forget your parents, Noah. I’ll never stop paying for the crimes I committed. I will continue to pay in whatever way you need me to, but please don’t let it affect my daughter.”
He looks down at his hands, desperation written all over his face. “I won’t,” I promise. “I wouldn’t be sitting opposite you right now if I didn’t mean that. I lost my father, and Amara almost lost hers.” My eyes fall to his wrists, the scars still raised months later. “I won’t ever get to speak to my father again. He’ll never get to meet my wife, or my children. He’ll never spoil his grandchildren — but you can. You will. You owe it to my sister and me.”
I wrap my hand around his wrist, and he stiffens. “This,” I tell him, “Can never happen again. I won’t have Amara live the rest of her life without a father.”
I pull away and cross my arms. Peter looks away, but not in time to hide the tears in his eyes. “I proposed to her, you know?” His eyes widen, and I nod. “I proposed to her three months ago with my mother’s engagement ring. Crashed her engagement party to do it.”
I smile to myself, remembering the way I found the ring lying on the floor shortly after I asked for a sign. To this day, I don’t know if it was mere coincidence, but I don’t think it is.
“Amara said no. She’s said no every single time I’ve proposed since then. Three times in total. It’s not because she doesn’t love me, nor is it because she doesn’t want to spend her life with me. It’s because she loves you too. She wants you to be part of our life, of our wedding, and she thinks she can’t have that. She thinks she can’t have both of us. It’s up to us to prove her wrong.”
He nods, and for the first time since he sat down, there’s some life in his eyes, a hint of determination, passion. “We both love her, and I know my parents would have too. I was once told that life is for the living, and it’s true. You and I… we’re here. We’re lucky enough to be here, to be loved by a woman as special as Amara. She forgave you for all you did, and she puts up with all my flaws. She makes me want to be a better man, so here I am, trying to be the man she thinks I am. I won’t forgive you, but I won’t hold the past against you. My sister is right to say you served your sentence, and I do believe you continue to pay, that the memories continue to haunt you. I won’t punish you further, not at the expense of the woman I love — but I ask for one thing in return, Peter.”
He straightens in his seat and nods. “Anything.”
I nod and smile. I never thought I’d sit across the man that caused my parents’ death, smiling. Yet here I am. I don’t feel the resentment I used to feel. Time doesn’t heal, but it dulls the pain. My priorities have shifted. I no longer want to live in pain and misery. I don’t want to live in the past. Not when it could cost me my future with the woman I love.
